My heart jumped as I looked toward my purse. “No. Well, I’m not sure. I have my phone on vibrate.” Shaking took over my hands as I walked over, pulling it out. 5 missed calls.
“Did he say what he wanted?”
My mother turned off the porch light and shut the door, walking over to sit on the sofa. “His company was having a Halloween party. He thought maybe you’d like to go. Said he cancelled on his date at the last minute. Apparently, she was dressed rather inappropriately and he didn’t like it.”
“Oh.” I sat down, cradling my phone. “Did he say anything else?”
“We actually talked for quite some time. He sat with me on the bench and helped hand out candy to the kids.” That all too familiar disapproving face stared back at me. “When are you going to stop this and tell him about his daughter?”
I pushed to my feet, heading for the kitchen to grab a soda. “Soon. I think.”
“I won’t hide it from him if he comes back, Victoria. He has a right to know.”
“Mom, just…” I popped open the can and came back to sit down. “Just give me time. I’ll tell him. I want to make sure he’s changed. You can’t tell me you’d feel comfortable with Ava spending time with a man who drinks a lot. That’s dangerous and we both know it.”
The doorbell rang and I cringed, my gaze jerking in the direction of her room. No crying sounded as I grabbed the bowl from my mother’s lap and headed for the door. Apparently the light being off hadn’t stopped the kids. I plastered a smile to my face and swung the door open. It fell immediately.
“You’re home...kitten.” The way he said it made me want to lean into him, beg him to fuck me again. I quickly pushed it away. Devlin stood there in a suit, not at all dressed up in a costume. I pulled the cat ears from my head, tossing them across the living room.
“What are you doing here?”
“Do I get to come inside?”
I turned, looking at the pictures of me and Ava on the wall. “No. I’ll come out. Hold on.” My mom had one of her eyebrows cocked. “I’ll be outside,” I said, lowly. “Will you?” God, I hated that I couldn’t say, ‘listen for Ava’, but I knew she’d understand what I meant.
“Yeah, go ahead.”
“Thanks.”
Devlin’s palm pressed into my back as I shut the door and walked past him to go sit on the bench.
“My mom mentioned a Halloween party. You didn’t go?”
He sat down next to me. “I went. I just didn’t stay that long. Everyone was there with their families. I felt out of place.”
“Oh.” My head lowered. “How’s that going, anyway? Have you had any luck with the dating thing?” Twisting erupted in my stomach and I breathed through the feeling. I didn’t want to know. Not really.
He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “There are three girls I’m interested in so far. One stands out over the others, but I don’t know. We’ll see. Truthfully, I really don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m here for other reasons.”
My eyebrows drew in. “What other reasons?”
Slowly, his head turned to me. “We didn’t use protection. I’m not expecting anything to come out of it, but I have to make sure. Had you given me the opportunity last time, I would have been exactly where I am now, then, too. I always take responsibility for my actions, Victoria.”
Shit. “I’m not due to start for another few days. I’m irregular so sometimes I can be up to a week late.”
“So there’s still time.” He nodded, looking back at the ground. “Okay, I just wanted to make sure. Do you…feel any different?”
I laughed, more as a nervous reaction than anything. It was enough to have him ease back to look at me again. I knew he’d picked up on it. He was too smart not to. “Not at all. I think we’re okay.”
“You sure about that?”
“Positive. Well, as positive as I can be. I feel great.”
The frown came back and he stared off in the distance. “Is it horrible that I’m hoping…?” His hands shot down to the bench and he pushed himself up. “I’ve got to go. I’ll be back in a few days.”
“Wait.” I stood, walking over to him. “I…” The words were right there, but nothing I tried would force them out. “Can you call instead?”
He wouldn’t even look at me as he nodded and headed for his car. My heart raced and I stepped backward toward the door, not able to turn my back on him until he was driving off. “God, help me.” Butterflies scurried through my stomach and I pressed my hand in, trying to stop the fluttering. What was I going to do? I had to tell him about Ava, but how? When?
Before I could stop myself, I rushed inside and grabbed my phone. I hit Devlin’s number, feeling even sicker as he answered.
“Victoria.” There was almost a happy relief in his voice. My gaze glanced to my mother and I turned, walking to my room.
“We need to talk. Not tonight, but maybe…” My mind raced as I tried to remember my next day off. Next week. Wednesday and Friday? Yes. Wednesday was park day with Ava, but… “Will you meet me next Friday night?”
Deep breathing filled my ears and I couldn’t tell if it was his or mine.
“Where?”
“I…don’t know. Sorry, I didn’t plan this.”
The sound of his engine hummed in the background and I prayed he wasn’t coming back. I wasn’t ready to say the words right now. Not with Ava so close.
“I’ll pick you up and we’ll go back to my place.”
And there it was. That dominating tone he was so good at. It wreaked havoc on my body, making me clutch the phone even tighter. But I wasn’t going to argue. Sex wouldn’t be something I’d have to worry about. Not with what we were going to be discussing, and by then I’d be on my period for sure. Hopefully. The thought only made me even more nervous. A double confession? Jesus, I prayed not. “Sounds good. Seven o’clock?”
“I’ll be there.”
Chapter 11
Devlin
High pitched laughter had me gritting my teeth. The softness I had seen in Clarissa tanked after our second date. To say I was wrong was an understatement, and I couldn’t deny I was disappointed by it. She’d had such potential.
Popcorn spilled on my lap as she reached in and brought her hand to her mouth. The comedy she’d chosen at the theater was actually pretty funny, but I couldn’t stop getting distracted by the way she laughed or how she’d blurt out something right in the middle of an important part. I tried to dismiss the doubts, but it was clear things weren’t going to work.
“Did you see that?” Her head spun to me as she pointed toward the screen. “I bet you he doesn’t make it down that ladder without falling.” Not seconds after, she turned back to the screen, her guess had been correct. She burst out laughing and I groaned, picking up my soda. Surely, finding a woman to date shouldn’t be this hard. There was Kindle, who I happened to like, but she obsessively tapped her finger when she took a drink of anything. Not to mention, she had a habit of picking small pieces of lint or dust from my suit. It wasn’t something I couldn’t correct with time, but did I want to even try?
“Oh my God!”
I jumped at Clarissa’s outburst and watched as heads spun in our direction. My hand came to temple as I lowered my head.
At least Georgia was quiet and didn’t have any OCD habits so far. The promise was there, but if there was ever a person that was too quiet, it was her. I had to strain to make out what she was saying and half of the time I questioned myself on whether I should make an appointment to get my hearing checked. Was it her or me?
As I looked over to Clarissa, I almost wished I could tone down her volume a bit. Half of the theater probably wanted the same thing. I sighed, angrier with myself than anything. Who was I kidding? These women weren’t all that bad. They were great in their own ways. I was picking at anything and everything to distance myself from them because of my feelings for Victoria. I wasn’t being fair to them at all.
More popc
orn washed over me as her eyes stayed glued to the screen. Vibrating had my hand coming to my inside pocket.
“I gotta take this call,” I said, leaning over. “I’ll be right back.”
“Oh, okay.”
I placed the tub of popcorn in her lap and eased from the seat. The phone buzzed in my hand as I removed it and bound down the steps. Branson.
“Hey,” I said, bursting through the door. The light had me squinting and I rubbed against my lids as I leaned against the wall.
“Hey, we’re headed to the hospital. Jill’s starting to contract again and she’s been downing water like the doctor told her to. Nothing is stopping them. There’s no rush. I’m sure they’ll want to monitor how far apart they are before they admit her, but I wanted to give you a heads up.”
The door swung at my pull and darkness cloaked back over me. “I’m on my way.”
I hung up, pushing the phone back in my pocket. Before I even rounded the corner, Clarissa’s laughter assaulted my ears. Her eyes lifted to mine as I came up and kneeled next to her seat. “I gotta go. You want me to drop you off at home?”
“Well.” She looked back at the screen. “No, that’s okay. I want to finish the movie. I’ll take the bus.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I only live but a few blocks over, anyway. It’s okay.”
“Great. Here,” I pulled out my wallet, handing her a twenty for fare. “Enjoy and be careful,” I said, standing.
“Thanks.” The smile she flashed made me sad. This was goodbye and I really hoped she found an amazing guy to love her. She really did deserve it.
I stepped back, giving her a small wave. Usually I made our parting sweeter, but I couldn’t force myself to say any more. Not when it would be leading her on. She appeared fine, though. She wasn’t even looking at me anymore. Her focus was solely on the movie. I spun around, bounding down the steps. Clarissa would be okay. She was strong. Independent. Right now, I needed to focus on my friends. Were they okay? How was Branson coping with what his wife was going through?
Worry for Jill had me hurrying and I jogged through the building, not stopping until I reached my car. The hospital was a good fifteen minutes away and factoring in traffic, I’d be lucky to make it there in double the time.
I hit the button on my steering wheel and glanced over as I merged onto the side ride. “Call Victoria.”
Ringing filled the interior and voicemail kicked on. I hung up. Damn. Was she working tonight? I’d gotten the impression from her schedule that she only came in during the day. Of course, she had mentioned covering shifts.
Cars thickened as I got on the freeway, but the pace went steady enough. Before I knew it, I was exiting and heading down the main road that led to the hospital. As I parked and jogged toward the front, Victoria entered my mind again. It had been three days since I’d left her house and I couldn’t help but wonder if she knew anything yet.
Who was I kidding? She would have called if she did. My yearning to be a father wasn’t going to be fulfilled any time soon. First, I needed a wife and even that wasn’t looking promising.
The doors slid open and I jogged to the elevator as the doors began to close. My hand shot out, stopping it just in the nick of time. A young nurse’s head tilted as I stepped inside.
“Sorry about that,” I said, reaching to push level three, but noticing it was already lit up.
“You’re that bachelor guy, Devlin Black, aren’t you?”
I could have groaned. “Yep. That’s me.”
“You having a baby?”
I laughed. “No, my friend and his wife. Well, hopefully not yet, but they’re here.”
“Ah.” She smiled, invitingly, and I ignored it as I faced the door and tried to ignore her. The elevator dinged and I almost rushed forward. I waited as she stepped out first. We kept an even pace as we went down the hall. The moment I rounded the turn, I pulled out my phone, calling Branson.
“I’m here, where are you?” I slowed as I made it closer to the nursery windows.
“We’re in the ER. They have to register her and then we’re headed to triage. You should have held off for a little while. They won’t let you back there. Not until they decide if they’re going to keep her. When she gets a room, then you can head back.”
Shit. Why didn’t he tell me this before? Well, he had said for me to take my time. “It’s cool. I have all night. I’ll just be up here by the nursery.”
“Victoria working?”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know.” My steps stopped as I peeked through the first window. Time all but slowed as I watched her cradling the baby. Slowly, my hand lowered to my side and I moved in closer. The smile on her face was so loving. It was worth a million of the somewhat fake ones she’d give me. Whatever she was saying made her face light up even more. God, I wanted that. I wanted her, just as she was now. Holding a baby. Holding my baby.
As if gravity pulled her attention, her head rose and our eyes met. And held. I wasn’t sure for how long and I didn’t care. I could have stayed in that moment forever.
Movement to her side pulled her attention away before mine. Dazed, I turned to see a tall, older woman who was now looking at me…surprised? Almost fearful?
Victoria nodded and handed her the baby. As she made her way to the back, I knew she was coming around to the door. To me. I hung up the phone, pushing it back in my pocket. Branson would understand and he was probably too busy anyway. Seconds passing proved me right. The door opened and she stepped out, shutting it behind her.
“Hey.” Her eyebrows drew in confused. “Everything okay?”
How pissed would she get if I pulled her into my arms? Why was I even contemplating it?
“Jill, Branson’s wife is in labor again. She’s down in ER now. I guess I got here too early.”
“Again? How far along is she?”
Far along? Hell, I had no idea. My mind searched for anything they might have said. “She has a few weeks to go. I…”
“It okay,” she laughed. “Depending on her condition, she might be in triage for a while. It’s a full moon. Last I checked, the rooms were filling up pretty fast. Seems like everyone decided to have their baby tonight.”
The smile she held was absolutely stunning. It was nice being able to talk without her rushing to escape me.
“While we’re on the subject of babies. Any news?”
She looked down, but I brought her face back up.
“Victoria?”
Was she tearing up? I leaned my head down, but by the time I got a good look at her face, any hint of emotion was gone.
“Devlin, I really don’t think there’s anything to worry about.”
That didn’t answer my question. “But you don’t know for sure?”
She shook her head. “I was supposed to start today. It’ll probably come tomorrow, but like I said before, I’ve been as long as a week late. With my stress level,” she said, smiling again, “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was two weeks late.”
“Are you stressed?” I cupped her face, but removed it just as fast, knowing she’d understand I wanted her eyes on me. She kept turning, glancing around. She was nervous and that had even more questions rising.
“I have a lot going on right now. Nothing I can’t handle. It just gets hard sometimes. I’m lucky I have my mom. She’s a life saver.”
My hand twitched with the need to reach back up and touch her. “You know you have me. I hope you’d at least think of us as friends. I’m always here if you need anything.”
She took a step back and turned to the glass, peering in. “You really seem like you’re changing. I mean, I didn’t know you before, only what I saw, but it’s almost like you’re an entirely different person.”
“I told you I didn’t like who I’d become. I meant it.”
Her silence had me stepping in behind her. I expected her to flinch when my hands eased to her biceps, but she didn’t move. More so, she leaned back into me. Even if
it was just for the smallest fraction in time.
“I should get back to work.” She turned to face me and I stepped back, allowing her room. “Thanks for offering to help, but I’m really okay. I hope everything turns out well with your friend. You said, Jill?”
“Jill Hendricks”
She nodded. “I’ll keep a look out. See you Friday.”
“Thanks.” She grinned and turned, typing in the code. As she disappeared behind the door, I walked over and leaned against the far wall. A few stares were thrown my way from the older woman, but she quickly disappeared through a door, no doubt cutting off Victoria.
Hopefully me showing up hadn’t gotten her in trouble. I doubted it, but I had no idea who the woman was and I couldn’t push away the protective feeling she threw off. It was almost as if she knew who I was. Hell, maybe she did. Everyone else seemed to, especially after my public appearance in that paper.
Footsteps had me glancing over. Branson followed behind a man in scrubs as he wheeled Jill in my direction. I pushed off the wall, taking in their worried expressions.
“How we doing?” My question was directed at her, but all she did was close her eyes and breathe in and out deeply. I walked closer, feeling panic set in. “Is she alright?”
Branson threw me a look that spoke volumes. The fear I was experiencing didn’t even compare and I had no idea what to do. He slowed, leaning in. “The contractions are getting stronger, I’m not sure they’re going to be able to stop them this time.”
“What does that mean? She can’t have the baby yet. You said it was too early.”
“Yeah. It is. But not by much. Still…”
The double doors swung open and I stopped at them, knowing I couldn’t go.
“I’ll keep you updated. You should go home and get some rest,” Branson said, pausing just inside. “It’s going to be a long night.”
Chapter 12
Victoria
Two more days until my big meeting with Devlin and I couldn’t stop the growing anxiety. How would he take the news? Would he kick me out of his place and tell me to never show my face around him again? Take my daughter away from me? God, I felt sick. The closer to the date, the more unsettled my world became. I found myself tripping over my own feet. There were times I was left standing like an idiot because I couldn’t remember why I walked into a room. My mind was a giant blob of mush and it didn’t help that my period still hadn’t come. It had to be the stress. Lord knew I had enough of it.
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