by Tia Siren
On top of that, I missed Amelia. It was strange to admit it, especially after the way I had behaved that night, but I did. I missed talking and working with her, I even missed her shameless flirting. In the few weeks we had interacted she had brought light and color to my existence, and now that I was back to my usual gray life I felt cold and empty. However, she and her child deserved better than a damaged man who was unable to love.
Desperate to escape my thoughts, I opened the door and stepped out my car.
Crisp fall air filled my lungs as I walked toward the studio where our newest model was having her first photo shoot. It had been too long since I had visited a shoot and though it wasn’t my favorite part of the job, at the moment, it was a welcome distraction.
As soon as I stepped into the studio, my lips curled up in my usual smile. For the next few minutes, I walked around the chaotic set greeting the models and the production staff. As per usual, they didn’t seem to mind that I had no idea what their names were. They just smiled back at me and kissed my ass in the same tiresome way most people did.
After a while of talking nonsense with people I didn’t care about, I set out to look for the photographer, who was a good friend of mine. That’s when a familiar face at the dressing area caught my eye.
My heart raced as I took Amelia in. She looked serious and exhausted as she browsed through racks of clothes. Her figure hadn’t changed much, but I could make out the slight curve of her baby bump peeking through her thick jacket. Out of their own accord, my lips curled up into a smile at the sight, but it quickly vanished as a thin, middle-aged woman approached her.
I watched in silence as the woman pursed her lips and looked over the outfits Amelia had selected with disdain in her eyes. My own mouth tightened as I saw her shake her head and pick up a pair of denim pants.
“This is all wrong,” the harpy barked. “What were you thinking? This is a high fashion shoot.”
The woman’s voice echoed through the studio as she continued to belittle Amelia. I was proud of her for keeping a leveled head and not use her father as a way to shut the woman up. It showed a level of maturity and professionalism I couldn’t find in myself at that moment.
“Excuse me,” I called as I made my way toward them. “Is there an issue here?”
With my peripheral vision, I could see Amelia’s shock as she looked at me, but my focus was on the rude woman beside her.
The harpy pursed her wrinkly lips and crossed her arms. “This girl here knows nothing of style,” she said with a thick Southern drawl. “She’s opting denim for this shoot. It’s all wrong.”
Slowly, I looked from the older woman to Amelia who looked thoroughly embarrassed to be seen in such situation by me. I gave her a reassuring smile before turning my gaze to the garments she had selected. I studied the pieces for a moment before looking back to Amelia.
“What are you pairing the denim with?” I asked her in a business tone.
She took a deep breath and cleared her throat before replying. “I was thinking about pairing it with those thigh high glitter boots, that distressed leather jacket, and a lace bralette.”
A smirk threatened to form on my lips, but I kept my face straight as I nodded and turned back to the other woman. “Her choices seem pretty fashion forward and coherent with the shoot’s theme to me.”
The woman opened her mouth to say something else, but I wouldn’t have it. I might not be on board with her pregnancy, but Amelia was still the mother of my child, and no one would treat her like crap.
I raised a hand to stop her from speaking and added, “I can assure you that Amelia knows what she’s doing. Her father is my business partner, and she was raised in this industry. Fashion and style come as second nature to her and, in my not so humble opinion, her youth provides an edginess that your vision so desperately needs.”
The stylist blinked a few times as her eyes shifted from me to Amelia. The smirk I’d been holding finally peeked through as she smiled and nodded in agreement. I could see the storm raging in her eyes, but she clearly knew better than to get into an argument with me or continue to mistreat Alex’s daughter. People like us could make or break careers in this business and, apparently, she wasn’t willing to risk hers.
She smiled at Amelia and excused herself to go talk to the set director. Once she was gone, I turned my focus towards Amelia. From up close, she looked even more tired and sickly as she had before. “How are you?” I asked with concern laced in my words.
“How I am is none of your business, Kellan,” Amelia responded in a blunt tone.
I knew I deserved to be talked to that way, but it didn’t mean I liked it. I ran a hand through my hair as Amelia turned to select some jewelry. She picked up a pair of hideous earrings, and I noticed that her hands were shaking.
“You’re right, I forfeited the right to ask about you three months ago. However, you’re still my best friend’s daughter, and I worry on his behalf. Have you been eating and sleeping enough?”
“Kellan, I’m trying to work. Go away. My life is none of your business,” she said without even looking up at me. Then, she scoffed and shook her head. “And don’t pretend that you care about your friend’s child when you don’t even care about yours. That’s hypocritical and stupid. ”
I closed my eyes for a second feeling the verbal slap in the face. As much as I wanted to leave gracefully and avoid more unnecessary confrontation with her, I couldn’t help myself. “What is the point of keeping this baby if you’re not going to take care of yourself while you’re pregnant? You say I’m selfish and pathetic and hypocritical but aren’t you all of those things as well?”
Those words made Amelia finally look up at me. The moment her gorgeous, tired eyes met mine, I wished she would look away. The incredulity in them wasn’t new to me, I had seen too many women gaze at me that same way over the years. However, that look coming from Amelia made my heart feel cold.
“Excuse me?” she hissed as she slammed a thick, golden bracelet over the table. The noise made me cringe. “How dare you talk to me like that? I’m tired because I’m working despite being constantly nauseated. My child already has one loser parent. I refuse to fail at my dream job because I got knocked up by a deadbeat asshole and give him a loser set.”
I reigned in my temper. “Your father owns half the company, and I own the other half. Believe me, your job is safe. No one is going to fire you for taking a few days to care for yourself.”
For some reason, that comment seemed to make her even angrier. Her nostrils flared as she continued to stare at me. “Great, so now I’m a charity case?”
I raked my fingers through my hair. “No, you’re not. Jeez . . . I’m just worried and trying to be nice.”
“Well, don’t,” she stated abruptly. “My son and I are not your concern, so please, leave us alone.”
Son . . . She’s having a son. The information danced around in my mind, but before I could process it properly, Amelia’s face turned white and her eyes rolled backward. My heart stopped with worry and fear as I rushed to her side just in time to catch her as she collapsed.
Chapter Seven
Amelia
I awoke to a sea of bright, white lights. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust, and then several more for me to realize where I was. The hospital room looked exactly as you’d expect and smelled just as bad—like a mixture of sickness and sanitizer. I sighed and shifted into a more comfortable position.
Once seated, I glanced over to the chair to my right and was surprised to see Kellan sitting there. The tension between his brows relaxed as he saw me awake.
“Hi,” he greeted in a cautious voice.
I tried to smile, but it felt weird and forced. “Hi. What am I doing here? What happened?”
“You collapsed about half an hour ago, and I brought you to the hospital. The doctor just left, he said you’re dehydrated and fatigued. They’re running some bloodwork to see if it is something else,” he explained in a tir
ed and worried voice.
My heart sank at his words. I knew that with all the extra pressure I was putting on myself to be the best at work and do everything for the baby on my own, I wasn't the healthiest, but I had never imagined that my behavior could bring me, and my unborn child, to a hospital bed. The notion made me feel awful and stupid. Kellan’s voice from our argument earlier today returned to my mind, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Is my baby alright?” I asked with tears in my eyes.
Kellan nodded, and I relaxed. I sank back into my pillows as he added, “I’ve already spoken to your father, and he’s on his way.” I glanced back at him with panic in my eyes and covered my stomach with my hands. Understanding the issue, Kellan closed his eyes and asked, “You still haven’t told him?”
I shook my head and looked away, not wanting to see the anger in his eyes. “No, I haven’t. I didn’t know what to say or how to explain the father situation, so I just kept putting it off.”
Kellan muttered a curse under his breath and ran a hand through his hair. “You have to tell him before he finds out, or he’ll be pissed at you, and you don’t want that to happen. Your father is a kind and understanding man, but he hates being lied to. You know that. You’ll need him and your mom once the baby arrives.”
As unrequired and out of place as his advice was, I knew he was right. This was a big deal, and I would have to lean on my parents a lot once my son arrived. As much as I tried to look in control, I was falling to pieces.
There was no question in my mind that I wasn’t ready for this. It hadn’t even been four months since my graduation. I was twenty-four, living in a brand new house, working a brand new job and just learning how to be a grownup, I had no idea how to be a parent. That, however, was no excuse to be irresponsible and act as if I was just another woman my age. I had responsibilities and limitations most of them didn’t, and I had to start living accordingly, for both our sakes.
Knowing that I couldn’t afford to keep my parents in the dark any longer, I made up my mind to tell my father about the pregnancy as soon as he arrived. In order for me to do that, however, Kellan had to go away. Under normal circumstances I was a terrible liar, I couldn’t even imagine how bad I’d be with the lie staring me right in the face.
“Thank you for your advice, for bringing me to the hospital and for staying with me, but you have to go. Like you said, I’m on my own with this one, and I have to deal with it accordingly.”
An indecipherable emotion settled into Kellan’s face as he stared back at me. He crossed his arms over his chest and used a very petulant tone when he spoke, “But if I leave, how will I know that you’ve told them and that you’re taking good care of yourself?”
“You won’t. Which was the point, right?”
He looked away from me and shook his head ever so slightly. “I knew you would say that which is why I am giving you the next few weeks off to relax and worry about what actually matters.”
My eyes widened as I glared at Kellan. “You can’t do that! I need my job and the money.”
He rolled his eyes as she typed something on his phone. “Your job isn’t going anywhere. As for the money, think of this break as a paid vacation.”
The nonchalant way he said that made me even more pissed off than his actions. I opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, but before I could get a word in my father’s voice echoed from the hallway. I glanced from Kellan’s face to the opening door.
“Pumpkin,” Dad said as he raced into the room with a bouquet of my favorite flowers in his hands and worry in his eyes. “I told you not to overwork yourself.”
Tears welled in my eyes at the sight of my father. I blamed my emotional outburst on pregnancy hormones and anticipation, but I was aware that the real culprit was an irrational fear of how he would react to my news. Unwilling to break into a crying fit in front of Kellan I kept myself together and forced a smile at my father.
“I’m sorry, dad,” was all I could manage to say as he hugged me. Once he had released me, he looked at Kellan and smiled. “Thank you for calling me and taking care of my girl, Kellan.”
Kellan shook his head and said something. I didn’t pay attention to his words, though. I was too mesmerized by their interaction to focus on anything else.
The last time I witnessed them around each other outside of a business environment, I was a teenager. At that point, my infatuation with Kellan had kept me from noticing that they interacted more like brothers than friends. However, now that I was older and with a more realistic view of the man who had fathered my unborn son, the depths of their relationship was blatantly clear to me and it put everything into perspective.
As much as I couldn’t condone Kellan from turning his back on our unborn baby, I could see that revealing the truth to my father would forever change their relationship. Considering that Kellan had no family that I knew off, I could understand—if only barely—his refusal to claim his child.
Kellan glanced over at me and then at my father. “Well, if she were my daughter, I would have wanted someone to call me as soon as possible.”
His words made my heart ache, but I tried to keep my voice steady as I spoke. “Thank you again for calling my father, Kellan, but you really don’t have to stay.”
I knew that the moment to inform my dad of my pregnancy was now, and I did not want Kellan present for such an intimate family moment. Regardless of how fondly my father regarded him, to me, he was the man who had chosen against being a part of my family and therefore didn’t deserved to experience the emotion that would unfold.
With understanding in his eyes, Kellan nodded and turned to gather his things. It was evident, at least to me, that he was as ready to go as I was to have him gone. However, in an unfortunate turn of events, just as he was saying goodbye to my father, a nurse entered the room.
She greeted the three of us with a bright, warm smile and looked down at the chart in her hands. “Your blood work came out clean, so it looks like you will be good to go once your IV bag is empty. However, the doctor asked me to give you this brochure and make sure you read it.” I looked at her with eyes filled with fear of the train wreck that was about to happen. Oblivious to my panic, she continued, “In this, you’ll find all kinds of information about prenatal care and the new demands of your body. I’m sure you’ve heard it all from your doctor already, but information is never enough. Right?”
I nodded at her, but my eyes stayed focused on dad. Happy in his ignorance, he smiled at the woman and shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong room.”
The nurse apologized and looked down at her chart with a mortified expression. Her brows pulled together as she looked back at me.
I closed my eyes hoping I would just disappear. When I opened them again, I felt overwhelmed by the three pairs of eyes gazing intently at me. I focused only on my father’s. “She’s in the right room, dad.”
“You’re telling me that you’re pregnant?” he asked in between laughs, sure that this was some sort of pre-Halloween prank.
My eyes were filled with sorrow and shame as I continued to stare at him in silence. Slowly, as reality started to sink in, I watched as his face turned from normal to white before finally settling into a deep shade of red.
The nurse excused herself and left my room, shooting me a look that was both apologetic and chastising. I ignored her and Kellan—who, for whatever reason, was still there— and kept staring at my father. “I swear I was going to tell you and mom. I just didn’t know how.”
“You’re pregnant?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Unable to find the words to respond, I just nodded. Dad started pacing. “How long have you known?”
I forced myself not to glance at Kellan as I stammered, “A-about three months now.”
Momentarily, he stopped pacing and glanced at me with so much sadness and disappointment in his eyes I could barely bear. Then, he turned his eyes towards Kellan, silently asking the father
of my unborn child to leave. Leaving me no room to question where his loyalties lied, Kellan nodded and walked out. Tears filled my eyes as, once more, I was hit with the realization of just how alone in this ordeal I actually was.
Once my father and I were the only two people in the room, he turned to face me fully. I wasn’t sure if the heartbreak I saw in his eyes was his, mine or both of ours.
“Who’s the father?” he asked in an unrecognizable weak tone.
My heart pounded frantically as I replied, “Some guy at a party.”
“You don’t even know who he is?” His eyes glistened with a raging fire.
“Yes, I do,” I started, deciding that I should keep my lies as close to the truth as possible. Hopefully, by doing that they would suck less and pass as facts. “But he’s not important or in the picture. It was a one-night thing.”
His pacing stopped again. My father’s gaze traveled around the room before they finally landed back on me. The disappointment in his eyes was so intense I could barely stand to look at him.
“So that’s it?” he asked after a heavy sigh. “I send you off to the top school in the nation, shell out thousands of dollars, give you a house and job, and then, you come home knocked up and don’t even tell me about it?” He shook his head and, in the saddest voice ever, asked, “What happened to my little girl?”
Tears fell freely from eyes. “She’s here, and very sorry, daddy.”
“I bet you are and frankly, so am I. You had so much to look forward to, Amelia. The world was at your feet and now . . .”
He never finished the sentence, not that he needed to finish it. I knew exactly where he was going, and I agreed. I had compromised a good chunk of my future plans for a cheap lay with someone who couldn’t care less about me. I was stupid and pathetic, and it killed me that now my dad knew about it as well.
Every inch of my body ached as I watched my beloved father gather his things and walk to the door. He didn’t turn to look at me or say goodbye, he just stood by the half-opened door and said, “I’ll let you be the one to tell your mother. Please, don’t wait another four months to do it. She deserves better than that.”