‘Quinn…’ as he made a grab for her arm, in an effort to stop her passing him he knocked the parcels from her hands in the process, were they fell to the ground and lay there ignored.
Despite her best efforts Quinn could not get herself free from his grip and now the three of them came to a standstill in the roadside, only the blare or car horns encouraging them to move. With no chance of being able to move fast enough to escape from him Quinn stood blank faced and waited, willing herself not to belittle herself and scream at him.
‘Quinn this is...’ he started to say.
‘Yes I know who she is; I saw her coming from your room in Brussels. You remember the morning we found out I was having your child,’ she even managed to smile as his face became rigid with anger. ‘I really need to get home and put my feet up. I’ll see you later unless of course she’s cooking your dinner,’ she looked from one stunned face to the other, ‘No, oh well there are lots of casseroles in the freezer.’ Without another word she turned and walked away.
It was only when she arrived home that Quinn realised she didn’t have her shopping, shrugging her shoulders she dropped into the thickly padded armchair and practiced her deep breathing exercises. Lifting both hands she pressed her palms against her chest where it felt as though her heart was trying to burst from her body.
Quinn was too distressed to cry, now she had seen them together she knew there was nothing to stay for. They were over. She had seen it for herself, the look in his eyes as he looked down at Azzurra said it all.
Max arrived home very late that night; much to her surprise he had not rang to argue with her over their meeting earlier, he also did not mention the incident. ‘Here are your bags you dropped them earlier,’ although he didn’t release his hold on them he went on to tell her, ‘I’ll put them in the nursery.’
‘Fine,’ she replied not even looking at him, she could not bear the thought of looking at him sure it would hurt too much.
‘I’ve been to see my solicitor today,’ unbidden she looked up and straight into his eyes. ‘I’ve made provisions for you and the baby, you’ll keep this house and I’ll pay you an allowance for the day to day running. There will also be a trust fund to pay for the child’s education,’ he looked away from her for a moment before carrying on, ‘I hope you will keep your promise about allowing me access. Now, I intend to stay until the baby is a month old after that I will be moving out, if for any reason you can’t cope on your own I’ll pay for a nanny or home help which ever suits you.’ Once again he hesitated for a moment while his brow creased as though he was thinking over what he had told her, ‘Yes and one more thing, I expect you to return to work at some time, I’ll pay for the child’s living cost but not yours.’
Quinn sat unable to speak, unable to move. All she could think was how did Daniel ever think he loved her. At that moment she was totally convinced he hated her. She fell in to a state of shock; thankfully numb her mind went into a limbo and for the rest of the evening she moved around in a robotic trance. Intending to put her purchases for the baby into the little chest of draws she went into the nursery. Her hand shook as she laid out the tiny vests and night dresses wondering if the child that grew inside her wouldn’t actually be too big to fit them.
‘Something else I forgot,’ Max spoke from the doorway startling her for a moment and she gave a small gasp as she turned to face him. ‘I don’t want you doing anything for me, no cooking or washing nothing at all, look after my child that’s all,’ he told her, his expression cold.
Quinn sleep walked every night after his announcement. Meanwhile Max fitted a lock on his bedroom door ensuring she couldn’t get in so instead she stood and wept outside begging him to let her in. After an hour of listening to her he opened the door and shook her awake curtly telling her to stop disturbing him and to go back to her own bed.
Two nights later he could hear her crying but this time she wasn’t outside his room, quietly he opened the door to find her sat at the top of the stairs.
‘What are you doing?’ he called to her.
‘I can’t move,’ she told him.
‘Why not?’ he asked, not moving away from his bedroom doorway.
‘I… I’m scared...’
‘Get back into bed...’
She gave a small sob, ‘I can’t I’ll fall…’
When he looked down to her feet the lace hem of her long nightdress had ripped and was tangled around her ankles, the next day he fitted the baby gates at the top of the stairs. When she questioned him to why he was fitting them so soon he told her she had nearly fallen down the stairs. Quinn did not reply but he saw her face pale, after that she took the scissors and cut a good twelve inches off all of her nightdresses.
Quinn still had over four weeks to go before her baby was due to be born, the midwife had questioned her as to whether she had her dates right.
‘Are you sure Mrs Cordell, because you really are very big for your time,’ she had been asked more than once.
‘Yes positive, there is no doubt.’
It was Saturday afternoon and unusually she and Max had been arguing for most of the day, usually they didn’t speak to each other so the chances of arguing were slight. Quinn was not feeling well and had left most of her lunch.
As she started to move away from the table he pushed her back down, ‘You don’t move until you’ve eaten that meal,’ he told her holding on to her shoulders and pushing her back down in to her seat.
‘I can’t eat any more…’
‘I warned you once before I’ll force feed you if I have to,’ Max sat down heavily in the chair opposite to her, ‘You can cry all you want Quinn,’ he snapped at her when her eyes filled with tears, ‘you’re not moving until you eaten properly.’
She shook her head, ‘I told you I …’
He reached across and caught her chin, ‘And I told you,’ he filled the fork with pasta and held it to her mouth, ‘open your mouth and eat!’ he forced the food into her mouth and held her lips together.
No matter how much she begged he wouldn’t stop feeding her, until eventually she was sick. ‘You bastard,’ she shouted at him as her lunch was forced from her stomach, ‘get off me,’ she pushed him away when he tried to help her, for just one moment she saw a flash of guilt cross his face.
While she had been busy being sick Quinn hadn’t noticed the first twinges of labour, it was only as she made her third trip to the toilet in an hour she realised her waters had broken. For the next few minutes she was uncertain of what to do, if she was going into labour now her baby was going to be a month early would it be strong enough.
‘Oh my God!’ she whispered as another contraction gripped her, immediately she rang the hospital and spoke to her midwife.
‘We’ll send an ambulance for you,’ she told her when Quinn told her Max was out and could not be contacted.
Slowly Quinn made her way down the stairs with her small suit case clutched tightly in her hand, with every step she made she prayed Max would not hear her, if she could get out of the house without him hearing her all well and good. Taking a quick glance at her watch she wondered how much longer the ambulance would be, her efforts to not make a sound quickly dashed when a stronger contraction gripped her. Her mixed cry of pain and alarm alerted Max and he came dashing from his study.
‘Quinn,’ he called as he walked into the hallway. ‘What…’ he stopped when he saw her case. ‘Are you in labour?’ he asked moving toward her. She nodded, rubbing her hand across her stomach, ‘But it’s too early…are you sure?’
Quinn nodded once more and gripped onto the banister as another spasm of pain gripped her.
‘Why the hell didn’t you tell me?’ he demanded.
‘Please don’t start shouting at me,’ she gasped as another contraction stole away the rest of her words.
Quinn was in too much pain to object when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and helped down the last of the stairs, “
‘I’ll get the car�
�’ he started to say.
‘No don’t bother the ambulance should be here soon. I don’t want you anywhere near me, the hospital will ring you when the baby is born,’ she told him ignoring the hurt expression in his eyes.
‘I wanted to be with you,’ he said quietly.
‘Well I don’t want you with me,’ she said opening the front door she walked slowly toward the ambulance as it pulled up at the end of the drive, her small case forgotten in the hallway.
Of course Max followed the ambulance, remembering to take her case with him. By the time he had reached the hospital and parked his car Quinn was in the delivery room. The first chance he got he spoke to the midwife. ‘Isn’t it too early she still has over four weeks to go?’ he asked concerned.
‘There shouldn’t be any problems, but we do have the Prem Team ready just in case there are complications,’ she smiled reassuringly. ‘I have checked the notes from her last visit the baby is a good size. It’s going to be a little while yet, you can go in now and keep her company,’ she smiled and held the door for him to pass.
Quinn glared at Max from the bed waiting until the nurse left before speaking to her unwelcome husband. ‘Go away,’ she hissed between pains.
Max ignored her demand and sat on one of the chairs across the room from where she lay. ‘No, like it or not I’m staying.’ This was not the way he imagined it would be the day their baby was born; he had visions of sitting by her bed wiping her brow with damp flannels and encouraging her to breathe. Instead she was glaring at him from across the room, her brow damp with perspiration her eyes full of anger and fear.
‘What’s wrong afraid I’ll run away with your baby?’ she snapped.
He looked at her thoughtfully for a full minute before speaking, ‘Why do you deliberately try to antagonise me?’
She did not answer his question because another contraction took any thoughts of replying right out of her mind. Beads of perspiration dotted her brow and the top of her lip, just as the pain subsided the midwife returned.
‘How are we doing?’ she asked cheerfully, then turned to Max and told him, ‘You can sit nearer Mr Cordell,’ she smiled, ‘there are some soft towels and cool water you can mop your wife’s brow for her. Come along, there is nothing to be afraid of,’ she encouraged when he didn’t move.
Obediently he obeyed and sat closer to Quinn’s bed, but the moment he raised his hand to wipe her brow she scowled at him.
The hours dragged by, her contractions stayed to every ten minutes, and then stopped. The nurse examined her and told her ‘these things happen, don’t worry.’ But Quinn was exhausted; too tired now to argue with Max while he sat by her bedside and wiped her brow.
‘Would you like a cold drink?’ he asked bathing her face with a cool towel.
‘Please,’ she whispered hoarsely. Sliding his hand under her head he lifted her from the pillow. ‘Max I want you to find Mr Brown for me, something is not right,’ she told him as he lay her back down on the pillows.
Max wiped her face; her expression told him she was more afraid than she was saying, ‘Try not to upset yourself, you heard what the nurse said,’ he tried to reassure her while wishing he knew more about what was happening, he hated not feeling in charge.
‘No you don’t understand I’m still in pain, but a different pain,’ she held onto his arm as he went to move away. ‘Please Max, the baby is hardly moving now,’ she took his hand and rested it against her stomach. ‘Please,’ she begged weakly.
Quinn watched as he dashed from the room to find her paediatrician, even in her distressed state she realised he was only going because he thought his child may be in danger. After wiping her eyes she looked up at the clock hanging on the wall at the foot of her bed, she had been there for over twelve hours. Lifting her hands she rubbed gently across her stomach, hardly able to hold back the gasp when a shaft of pain sliced through her.
A few minutes later the two men appeared, Ian Brown smiled as he approached her bed, his unruffled manner immediately calming, ‘Now what seems to be the trouble?’ he asked checking the various monitors then reading her chart. After listening carefully to what she told him he gently examined her. He smiled reassuringly and told her that the baby was a little distressed but nothing serious and that he was going to speak to the sister but would be back soon.
Max followed the doctor from the room, ‘What’s wrong?’
‘The baby is breached I can’t turn it without causing more distress to mother and child,’ he paused for a moment, ‘but what I am most worried about is the baby’s heartbeat it is very irregular, your wife is highly agitated I don’t want to alarm her any further but I’m going to have to give her a caesarean,’ he reached for the telephone while he spoke then turned his attention to his call.
‘Do what you have to,’ Max told him turning back toward the small delivery room.
Quinn could see by Max’s expression that something was not right, ‘What did he tell you, I know he’s said something,’ she dropped her head back against the pillow her fingers gripping the bed-sheets as spasm of pain filled her body.
‘Everything is fine, you’re to stay calm and not worry,’ he told her pressing a cool towel over her brow. Max prised her fingers from the bedclothes and held her hand in his.
‘What’s wrong Max? I know something is wrong,’ she held her breath for a moment, biting on her lip to stop from gasping out loud, ‘This pain is not right…’
Suddenly one of the machines that surrounded her started to bleep, a loud ear shattering sound, seconds later Mr Brown and two nurses dashed through the door. ‘Okay, it’s time to go,’ he smiled toward Quinn as her bed was pushed through the door.
Max was not allowed into the operating theatre, so he stood outside pacing back and forth. His alarm growing by the minutes as even more nurses dashed into the room. ‘God keep her safe,’ he whispered stumbling into a chair when his legs felt suddenly unable to support him.
The theatre door sprang open, ‘Mr Cordell,’ one of the midwives called from the doorway, he paused waiting for the other man to look up. ‘We have serious complications,’ she looked quickly over her shoulder back toward where the doctors were working on her patient.
Max's life flashed before his eyes, his life without Quinn was not worth having and it was at that moment he realised he loved her more than anything in the world, more than life itself and he couldn’t live without her. ‘You have to save my wife,’ he pleaded.
‘We will of course do our best to not loose anyone…. we have to tell you just in case. I have to get back.’
The door sprang closed and Max was left alone once again, alone with his conscience at the appalling way he had treated his wife over the past months. He prayed like he never had in his life to get a second chance to tell her he loved her and to make amends for making her life so miserable.
In truth all he had wanted from her was for her to trust him, he had never and never would be unfaithful it was not in his nature, there was nothing between him and Azzurra and never had been. But as he sat waiting he realised all he wanted was another chance to make things right with Quinn and would beg and plead for that chance.
It was another twenty minutes before the doctor appeared from the theatre a beaming smile split his jolly round face. ‘Everyone is well; you can come in now, although your wife is still under the effects of the anaesthetic and probably won’t wake up completely for another hour.’
Max sat by Quinn’s bedside, her hand held gently in his own and held against his face. The instant her long lashes fluttered he spoke, ‘I love you Quinn,’ he said pressing his lips against the palm of her hand. Every time her eyes started to open he repeated his declaration of love to her, and begging her forgiveness, praying she could hear him.
Quinn woke, her stomach felt strangely numb, half opening her eyes she looked down the massive lump that had been part of her for the last months was gone. She creased her brow trying to recall … ‘Oh … where’s my baby?’ she
whispered turning toward where she knew Max was sitting.
‘In the nursery, everything is fine,’ he smiled reassuringly. ‘I’m supposed to call for the nurse the moment you wake; before I do there is something I need to tell you…’
‘Is something wrong with…’ she asked terrified something was wrong with their baby.
‘No I told you everything is fine. I want to tell you I love you and if you can forgive me I want us to stay together for always Quinn,’ he pressed his lips gently across hers.
‘I thought I was dreaming,’ she whispered as months of sadness started to evaporate, and her heart beat faster with happiness she thought never to feel again.
‘No not this time, I love you with every beat of my heart, and I hope with time you will forgive me,’ he said softly, ‘later we will talk properly but for now I hope is it enough that I tell you I love you, and I am sorry for the pain I have caused you,’ then without giving her a chance to respond he pushed the call button for the nurse.
After giving Quinn a quick check over the nurse went off to the nursery to collect baby Cordell.
‘Why won’t you tell me if it’s a boy or a girl?’ she asked never guessing the reason for his silence.
‘Don’t be so impatient you’ve waited nine months what’s a few more minutes?’ he smiled lifting her hand to his lips and kissing her fingers.
Suddenly the door opened and the nurse walked in holding a small sleeping bundle, dressed all in white except for a small blue hat.
‘This is your son,’ she told her carefully resting him against the crook of her arm, ‘he weighed in at six pounds eight ounces.’
She looked up to Max with tear-filled eyes, ‘A boy, how wonderful, have you named him?’ she asked brushing her lips across his tiny brow.
Quinn had been so engrossed in her son she had not noticed the second nurse enter the room. ‘This is your daughter,’ another nurse held out a similarly dressed infant wearing a pink hat. ‘Who is four pounds three ounces,’ the nurse informed her with a smile.
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