Innocent Darkness

by Suzanne Lazear

  Edwina Braddock’s chestnut curls were like Noli’s, only hers weren’t unwieldy. Her eyes glowed a startling blue, while Noli’s were an uninteresting grey. Still slender, Mama possessed curves in the right places—curves Noli lacked.

  Her mother put the teapot down and held out the fancy plate of cookies, the kind she kept at the shop for her clients. Mama’s hands were still pale and fine. “Would you like a cookie?”

  “Thank you, Mama.” Reaching out, conscious of her own rough hands, nails bitten to the quick, she took a cookie and bit into it. Shortbread covered in chocolate— delicious.

  Looking around the room, she spied the picture of her mother and father’s wedding back in Boston. No pictures of Jeff, not even family ones, hung on the striped, bluepapered walls.

  “These have been trying times for us, with your father disappearing and your brother leaving us.” Her mother took a sip of steaming tea, looking tired and worn, shoulders hunched from fatigue. “You’ve always been clever and willful. Raising you alone is difficult.”

  The chocolate cookie soured in Noli’s mouth. Certainly, she hadn’t made the task easier, rebelling and getting into mischief. Tinkering instead of helping in the shop. Failing school because she often fell asleep in class.

  “I … I’m sorry, Mama.” She took a sip of tea to wash the sour taste out of her mouth.

  “I know. You don’t mean to be naughty; you simply need more attention. Attention I can’t give you because of all the time I spend at the shop.” Her mother’s beautiful face, with her high cheekbones and aristocratic nose, grew forlorn, her eyes downcast.

  Guilt would consume her, thinking her place was home raising her children, not at work. If anything went wrong, ultimately she held full responsibility.

  “I should have sent you away to school years ago as planned,” she added.

  Plans which went astray when her father disappeared. Most young ladies of their class went to fancy day or boarding schools. Her mother had wanted to send Noli all the way to Boston to attend the same posh school she had.

  “If I went away, who’d help you?” Fear seized Noli’s heart and she twisted her hands. Mama was sending her away. Whether a detention center or school, she’d still be far from home. Remorse for taking pleasure in vexing her mother consumed her.

  Her mother turned the china teacup in her dainty hands, looking into its depths instead of at Noli. “They’re going to drop the charges—”

  “Truly?” Noli brightened, ready to bounce out of her seat in excitement. “Wonderful.”

  Mama held up a hand to silence her. “You see,” her lower lip quivered, “they don’t consider me fit to care for you anymore.”

  Noli sucked in a sharp breath. “What?” Shock gave way to outrage, hands balling into fists. “It isn’t anything you did. I rebuilt the Pixy, I made V go with me, I panicked … ”

  Again, her mother held up a hand. “They’ll drop the charges if I send you to a school where you can get the attention you need, one where they can correct some of the … bad habits formed under my neglect. A place where you will come out a functional member of society, if not a lady.”

  Mama smiled a sad smile. It must have been a blow to her pride for them to blame everything on her lack of parenting. Noli bit her lip. Some dutiful daughter she turned out to be. She’d promised Jeff to take care of her mother and done a dreadful job.

  “We still have your dowry, perhaps you’ll make a good match yet. You’re only sixteen. When you’re finished at Findlay House, I’ll send you to Boston, to my parents, where you can come out to society and have a fresh start.” Her smile brightened.

  “But I don’t want to leave, Mama. I’ll try harder, I promise. We can use the money to fix up the house and pay some bills so you can take on less work. I’ll spend afternoons with you at the dress shop instead of here… or I know I can get a proper job fixing things, even if it’s just after school. We can make this work together. I know we can.” Tears pricked Noli’s eyes. She turned away, catching sight of a picture of her father. Her mama was all she had left.

  “You are a lady and we don’t get jobs.” Her mother sounded so sad when she said that. “If you go to this school and make good progress, not only will they drop the charges, but they’ll wipe your record clean.”

  “Who will take care of you?” Noli asked. Her mother couldn’t do everything herself. Who’d do the washing and cleaning? The shopping and repairs? Tend the yard and garden?

  “It’s not open for negotiation. You’ve play the hoyden long enough. Do you wish to bring more disgrace upon this family than you have already?”

  Noli drooped over her teacup, cheeks burning with embarrassment. “No, Mama.”

  What would Papa say? But never would she have done such things with her father home. He father also believed in upstart notions—like women getting jobs and attending the university.

  “The school, Findlay, is quite successful,” her mother added.

  “A detention center,” Noli muttered bitterly, leaning forward, elbows on her knees.

  “Not at all,” her mother corrected, glaring at Noli’s posture. “It’s a boarding school for girls who aren’t getting what they need from their homes or current schools.”

  That sounded even worse. With a sigh, Noli sat back into the settee. A detention center suddenly seemed the better situation.

  “The school graciously agreed to waive their tuition due to the court order.” Her mother nodded as if in agreement to an imaginary conversation. “We leave for San Francisco first thing in the morning.”

  “San Francisco, Mama?” Noli’s voice shook as her heart skipped a beat.

  “It’s far, but they say San Francisco is quite safe now.” She sounded unconvinced.

  Noli’s belly flipped. Six years ago a terrible earthquake struck San Francisco. The quake and subsequent fires decimated most of the city. Urban engineers came from around the globe to help the city rebuild—including her father.

  San Francisco was also where he’d disappeared.

  This wasn’t the first earthquake in recent times to rack the United States. Several decades ago, a series of violent earthquakes struck dozens of cities across the county within hours of each other. This chain of quakes ended Civil War and started the Great Reconstruction. That led to the American Renaissance which had given the world many incredible discoveries and technologies including hoverboards, flying cars, and airships.

  She still didn’t like the idea of going to San Francisco. “But … ”

  Her mother frowned in that special way that meant Noli was being difficult. “No one has died or disappeared for quake-related reasons in five years.”

  Noli continued to fidget in her seat. Unlike the Great Quake Chain, the San Fran quake had no official cause. Many simply blamed it on the aether released by the Great Quake Chain. Some thought aether caused her father and the other men in his group to disappear. Apparently a little aether was good, but too much wasn’t. Some people avoided San Francisco for that very reason. She wanted to avoid the city because San Francisco stole her father from her.

  “Do we have to leave tomorrow?” Would she have a chance to say goodbye to V? He’d stood by her after her father’s disappearance, through Jeff ’s departure, and her mother going to work. How would she get through anything without him?

  Sure, she called him a fussy old bodger when he acted stuffy, but her best friend always came with her on adventures, helped her fix things, told her bits of useless knowledge and stories, and often took the fall when they got into too much trouble.

  “We’ll depart on the morning train.” Her mother squared her shoulders, a look of finality etched on her tired place.

  “Train?” Noli made a face. “That’s so last century. Can’t we take an airship? It’s so much faster.”

  “You know I don’t like airships. Now, go upstairs and pack your things.” Mama’s mouth set in a firm line.

  Couldn’t her mother have told her this before sh
e started her schoolwork?

  “I’m going outside for a little bit first, Mama.”

  Her mother sighed heavily, shoulders rising and falling like something heavy weighed them down. She considered tree climbing improper. “Only for a little while.”

  “Thank you.” Putting her teacup on the table, Noli walked out of the sitting room. As soon as she left her mother’s line of site, she took off running, slamming the kitchen door in the process. She didn’t stop until she reached her tree. When confused, angry, or scared, she liked to scale her tree. Everything seemed better among the branches.

  Up trunk she went. The gnarled, old oak had been knocked down in a storm, but continued to grow, curving like a “J.” The rough bark under her fingers felt comforting and familiar. Some overgrown branches reached nearly to the ground, like a weeping willow.

  V called it a faery tree—“but not a real one,” he’d always add.

  As if faeries were real. Science had disproven them a thousand times over. But that was V for you, believing in the fantastic even in the face of science. She’d miss him so much. He meant so much to her. Sometimes she liked to imagine what it may have been like had her father not disappeared and she’d actually be considered a possible match for him. V was one person who’d never laughed at her wanting to go to the university.

  But that would never happen and the closer V got to being of a marriageable age the less she let herself think such a silly thoughts. Faeries would be proven real before they could be together. V didn’t even think of her in that way.

  Higher and higher she climbed in the tree, the pleasant April air kissing her face, until she reached her favorite place—the tree house she and V once built with her father’s help. The little house was made of scrap wood, metal, and whatever they could forage. Once inside, she leaned against a wall that had once been part of an old wagon, drawing her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Resting her head on her knees, she began to sob.

  Steven looked out his bedroom window, sitting at his desk doing his schoolwork. The gas lamp on the wall flickered softly, scattering ghostly shadows across his books and papers. Out of the corner of his eye he watched through the window as Noli ran out the back door of her house, heading straight for her faery tree. Well, no faeries actually lived it in. Not anymore.

  They needed to talk. This would be a good time—his father occupied by business, his nosey little sister asleep.

  He crept down the stairs, through the kitchen, and grabbed the knob of the back door.

  “Where are you going? To go talk to her in your tree house?” James rolled his green eyes. “I don’t understand what you two talk about.” His younger brother looked like a man, where he was still all arms, legs, and feet. They stood nearly the same height. James wasn’t much younger and reminded him of that—often. Curly blond hair drove the girls wild.

  “I’m going to talk to her now.” He’d miss their chats, but they were nearly grown now.

  “Good luck with that. Flying figs, I’m glad it’s you and not me.” James’ eyes held sympathy. He, too, was fond of Noli.

  Steven let himself out, walked across the backyard which still resembled a warzone, climbed through the broken fence, went past the crashed remains of the Pixy, and scaled the tree.

  Her cries reached his ears, the sad sounds stabbing him in the heart like an iron knife. Safe in the canopy of oak leaves, he made his way to the tree house. He had many memories of this place and how they scoured the neighborhood for months to find the wood, sheets of brass, cogs, gears, and such they’d built it out of. Neither of them could stand up inside it now.

  Letting himself in, he drew her into his arms, even though he shouldn’t do such things anymore. “Noli.”

  Pressing her face into his shirt, she sobbed so hard her whole body shook.

  “Why the tears? They’re not sending you to a detention center, are they?” he asked. She hadn’t cried this hard since Jeff left.

  “Worse.” Lifting her head, she looked at him with those amazing steel-colored eyes. Incredible eyes, currently watery and red-rimmed, her face tear-streaked. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her.

  “They’re sending me to boarding school,” she sniffed. “A school called Findlay House. My mother says it’s a school for strong-willed girls from difficult situations. They’re going to make me into a productive member of society, maybe even a lady.” Her tone became dry, eyes dull and lifeless. For once, she looked utterly and totally defeated.

  A school for strong-willed girls where they’d make her into a lady?

  His blood ran cold. They were sending Noli to reform school where they’d suck out her individuality, vibrancy, and joy. Everything that made her special, beautiful.

  Relief washed over part of him because he no longer needed to tell her his bad news. Part of him didn’t want to believe they’d send her to such a place.

  Couldn’t they understand how incredible she was?

  But they didn’t.

  Not the police.

  Not her mother.

  Not his father.

  “Everything will be fine.” He rocked her gently in his arms as they sat on the floor of her tree house, both aware of the lie.

  “I leave tomorrow. It’s in San Francisco.” Voice a whisper, her eyes shone with fright.

  He paused, face scrunching in confusion. “She’s sending you to San Francisco?”

  It made no sense to send your child to the place where your husband disappeared.

  Noli’s face contorted in pain. “She says it’s safe. They gave her no choice, but still … ”

  “You’re afraid because your father disappeared there.”

  “They say the aether did it.” Her words held the feeling of rhetoric.

  “Too much aether can be unhealthy,” he replied. Aether fostered both creation and destruction. The release of aether spurred many an era of renaissance—or devastation. Los Angeles held a higher concentration than many cities, a reason why the blossoming moving picture industry excelled. Since the earthquake, San Francisco held dangerous levels of aether, high enough to attract unsavory types.

  “I’ll write you often and send books,” he added. Even if he must defy his father. “Maybe I can even concoct a reason to visit. If you do really well, perhaps you can get into a university and study botany, just like you’ve always wanted.” He forced a smile. If she left the school with her sanity intact, she wouldn’t be his best friend anymore. She’d be a society clone. Sometimes he wished her family would have tried to meld into a lower class after her father’s disappearance. That would have meant she wouldn’t have continued to be his friend and neighbor, but at least she might have had a chance to achieve her dreams. In this new century, post Civil War and with all the American Renaissance had brought them, classism and elitism still ran rampant, even out west.

  “I’d like you to send me letters and books.” She smiled shyly, face lighting up. Noli hadn’t inherited her mother’s classic beauty. But she was pretty, especially when she smiled.

  “Here.” On an impulse, he pulled his medallion over his head, placing it around her neck. “For protection. Never remove it. No matter what.”

  “To protect me from aether?” She laughed. “You’re such an old bodger, V.”

  Her words made him smile sadly. He loved her laugh, which reminded him of bells. Would she laugh like this after or would she mindlessly twitter? Would she still call him V? It was a silly nickname, given to him when they were small and she couldn’t quite say his name, but he loved it.

  “Tell them that if they try to take it from you,” he replied. People did wear amulets to protect them from aether; not that they actually worked.

  “I will.” She tucked the pendant into her blouse. “You take such good care of me. Thank you. Did you get into a heap of trouble?” Noli bit her lip and twisted her hands like she always did when anxious.

  Absently reaching out, he tried to calm her—and himself
—by stroking her curls. Her thanking him always made him nervous. “Just the usual. Clean up the mess, fix the fence.”

  She sighed, leaning against him, the gesture relaxed and comfortable. “I made such a dreadful mess. It will take forever to repair the Pixymobile. Do you think we get vacations in boarding school?”

  “I have no idea.” When would she figure out she wasn’t going to boarding school? If he were older he’d steal her away to keep her from such a place. They could run off together and go to a university far away—though he had dreams of his own to attain.

  Noli looked back towards her dark house. “Mama wants to send me to Boston afterwards, for a fresh start. Perhaps even find a husband.” She snorted in an unladylike way.

  He watched her toy with the medallion, fingering the intricately woven gold wire, stroking the crystal the color of oak leaves in its center. It wasn’t supposed to leave his possession and his father would be displeased. But she was worth it.

  “I worry about Mama,” she confided. “How will she get on without me? Or will she be better off?” Her eyes misted.

  “Don’t think such things.” Gently, he tilted her face, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “James and I will check on her for you.” He knew how much Noli loved her mother.

  “Would you?” Her whole being brightened. “Thank you.” She turned pensive. “Officer Davies said he didn’t want me to travel down the same path as Jeff. Do you have any idea what he meant?”

  For a long moment he didn’t speak. Everyone else knew. It was time she knew as well. “Have you ever wondered why your mother hides the money Jeff sends, even though you desperately need it?”

  “She says it’s for my dowry. But who’d marry me?” She shrugged this off as if it were the silliest idea in the world. “Noli, there’s someone out there for you and you’ll need it day.” It pained him to force out those words. Sure, she wasn’t the perfect society wife, especially away from the wilds of Los Angeles. But she grew flowers like few he’d ever met and created life from hunks of junk. For the millionth time, he wished things had happened differently.