by Toni Aleo
“Hey, Jaylin. These guys giving you trouble?”
The way the guys act, it’s as if Kirby is their principal. “Not at all.”
“I just bought her a drink!”
“She talked to us.”
“Guys, relax,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Go get us a table.”
D’Artagnan holds up his water, and I tap my cider to his. “Let me know when you want to broaden that age-group notion.”
I scoff, but Kirby gives him a look that basically says he’s currently pissing on my leg, and he backs off.
It turns me on in a way I can’t even explain.
“Don’t hold your breath. I wasn’t kidding when I said she is way too classy for you guys.”
“Fine, Lit, fine. Jeez,” he mutters as the twins wave to me, and they head off to get a table.
Kirby looks over at me, and I smile. “Boneheads.”
“Are you babysitting three more?”
He grins. “Kinda. I’m the guy to guide them along the road to the IceCats. Two of them will make it. One will go back to the AHL.”
“AHL?”
“The American Hockey League. It’s one step down from the National Hockey League.”
I nod. I knew that, but I really don’t want him to stop talking. “Oh neat. Which ones do you think will make it?”
He hesitates. It’s obvious he likes the guys. “The twins, probably. Their dad is Shea Adler.”
I blink. “Okay?”
“Great hockey player. I really need to educate you.”
Yes. God please. Naked. Yes, naked.
I laugh off my horniness. “Aw, but I like D’Artagnan.”
He gives me a blank look. “Like?”
“Yeah, he’s adorable.”
“Like, you want to date him?”
I snort. “Jealous?”
His eyes narrow. “You aren’t allowed to date any of my teammates.”
I gawk at him, pressing my hand to my chest. “Excuse me? You’re telling me who I can and can’t date?”
He has a teasing grin, one I’ve missed. It’s so beautiful, and I love how bright his eyes get. “I am.”
I scoff. “You’re lucky you’re cute, or I’d tell you about yourself. But please, enlighten me. Why can’t I date your teammates?”
“Because.”
“Because?”
“Because I said.”
“No shit, Sherlock. Tell me why.”
He takes a step closer, licking his bottom lip, and yup, I won’t date anyone if he asks me not to. His eye bore into mine, and his chest rises with a deep breath as heat creeps up his neck. “Because I want—”
“Jay, babe. Sorry I’m late.”
Because I want…what?
Talk about taking an imaginary puck to the puss. I gawk at him, my heart pounding in my chest just as Allen’s lips press into my cheek. But even if I could look away, my eyes don’t leave Kirby’s. I don’t know what he was about to say, but the disappointment guts me. Fucking hell. “Oh, hey,” I say, recovering quickly since Allen is looking at me.
“Hey.” He grins, and then his eyes move to Kirby. “Hey, man. Allen Lissome.”
“Nice to meet you. Kirby Litman.”
Allen arches a brow. “Defensemen for the IceCats.”
Kirby smiles proudly. “That’s me.”
“Wow, it’s awesome to meet you. Cute baby.”
Kirby nods, kissing Celeste’s head. “Thanks.”
“Are you a client of Jay’s?”
Before he can answer, I blurt out, “Of the firm, yes. But personal, no. We’re friends.”
Oh, I can feel the heat of Kirby’s eyes on mine. Why did I say that? “That’s cool—”
“Sorry, my friends are waiting for me.” I can hear annoyance in Kirby’s voice, and it bothers me. I don’t know what he has to be angry about—he knows my number; he can call me anytime and tell me exactly what he was about to say.
Because I want what?
“It was good to see you, Jaylin.”
I meet his gaze, and heat runs through me like lava. “You too,” I squeak out, and instantly, I’m embarrassed.
Our eyes linger a bit longer than they should, and then I watch as he walks away toward the table where the Three Musketeers are waiting for him. Allen moves beside me, sitting down, but I can’t stop watching Kirby.
Because I want what?
What the hell does he want?
Chapter Eight
Jaylin
* * *
I wish they had seated us outside, but with it being god-awful hot out, they seated us four tables over from Kirby, Celeste, and his adopted children. Yes, I counted the tables. And yes, I can’t keep my eyes off Kirby. It’s as if he is a pair of Jimmy Choos and I just got paid. I’m drawn to him. He is just unbelievably gorgeous, and watching him as a dad makes my ovaries explode, cry, and wiggle with want. It’s almost unfair how beautiful he is. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen my fair share of beautiful men, slept with some of them, but there is just something about Kirby.
I don’t know if it’s the dimple in his chin, or maybe the ones that come out when he smiles. It’s so cute. Makes him look boyish, but he’s not a boy because he’s caring for a small human. His small human. I’ve never found a man with a baby attractive, but now…now, I’m drooling, it’s so hot. Kirby cares for Celeste, he loves her, he would die for her. To know he has that capacity, to know I can be on the receiving end…it’s a turn-on. I want it. I crave it. It scares me how badly I want it. It’s weird. It’s not who I am, who I have been.
I’m sitting here, across from my casual fuck, and I don’t want him. I’m not even in the least bit attracted to him. I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t want me as more than a fuck, or if it’s because I know he is off fucking anything with tits when we’re not together. I want him to want only me.
Or wait, that’s not even true. I don’t want him. I don’t want this. What am I even doing? My mom always says, “If you want something, don’t stay where you are to get it. Change something. Do something, or you’ll stay stuck.”
I don’t want to be stuck.
Unless it’s with Kirby.
I’d be stuck with him.
When I look away from where Kirby and his crew are sitting, Allen is looking at me with a raised brow. “So, where do you know him from?”
I pop a fry into my mouth. “Huh?”
“Kirby. You know, the dude you’ve been staring at since we sat down?”
“And I thought I was being discreet,” I say offhandedly as a joke, but he doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t even crack a smile. Though, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t be laughing either. I’d be highly offended. “I’m sorry.”
“So, you two an item?”
“Not at all,” I say simply. “We almost dated a while back, but his ex popped up pregnant.”
He whistles quietly. “Well, that’s unfortunate.”
“It was. He’s a good guy.”
“I can tell, considering you’ve never looked at me like that.” I meet his green gaze, and I wait for the guilt. I wait to feel like shit for staring at one man when I’m at dinner with another, but I can’t muster it. “I thought maybe one day we’d stop the games and settle down.”
“Games?” I ask. “We hook up. These aren’t games.”
“Jaylin, your life is a game, and you always have to win. You can’t let anyone get close because then they’d know you,” he says, and I cock my head. “I have honestly been trying to get with you for three years now. And nope, we’ll kick it, and you only want to talk when I’m coming back to town.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is,” he throws back at me, and I can tell he’s getting upset. His face is turning a shade of red I’ve never seen. Allen is usually a level-headed dude, but not right now. “It’s bullshit.”
I’m taken aback. “Allen, we’ve never been more, and I’ve never given you the idea we were.”
“Exactl
y,” he says, holding his hand toward me. “You’ve never given me the option to be more. You just want me for sex, just like you want everyone.”
I press my hand to my chest, gawking at him. “Well, shit. Please don’t hold back.”
“I have restraint,” he insists, casting his eyes down. “I think I already know the answer, but I have to ask because I’ve fallen in love with you, Jaylin.”
My stomach drops as I gawk at him. What in the world is happening here? “I’m pretty damn certain you just called me a slut in a roundabout way, and now you’re proclaiming your love?”
He shrugs. “I didn’t mean to imply that at all. I am only saying, you don’t know how to settle down. You don’t know how to be with one person because that’s not what you want, or so I thought. I see the way you look at him, some guy who doesn’t even pay you any mind. He isn’t even looking over here, yet you can’t keep your eyes off him. You can’t stop giving him all the attention, and he doesn’t even care.”
Talk about taking a jab, left and right. Shit. I throw down my napkin and stand. “I don’t need this.”
I go to grab my purse, and he takes my wrist. “Jay, I love you, and I want a chance with you—”
“You ruined that, buddy. Maybe, truly, it could have been, but not anymore,” I sneer, and I try to rip my wrist from his hand, but he has a good hold on it. “Let me go.”
“I can make you happy.”
“No, you cannot. I don’t want a man who thinks I don’t know how to be with one person, because I do. Me, I’m one person, and I like me. You, not so much.” I try to pull away once more, but he still won’t release me. “Allen, let me go.”
I look around and notice that people are watching as his voice rises. “That’s ridiculous. You’re saying that to hurt—”
“Hey!”
I swear on everything holy, the very busy pub goes quiet as I whip my head to where Kirby is standing, while the twins and my main man, D’Artagnan, slowly mirror their mentor. Even from four tables away, they’re massive, huge, and I wouldn’t want to be in a dark alley with them.
Kirby… Well, I’ll be anywhere dark with him. Shit, maybe I am a slut?
No, I’m a fucking queen.
“I suggest you take your hands off her,” Kirby says sternly. Celeste looks up at him from her high chair and promptly wails in alarm. His eyes don’t leave Allen’s, though. Instead, he puts his hand on her head, stroking it as his gaze turns terrifying.
Oh, talk about some massive chills.
“Excuse me?” Allen says, letting me go and standing himself. I grab ahold of my wrist, surprised he hurt me. He’s never been rough in bed, always gentle. Was he hiding this part of himself?
“Did he hurt you?” Kirby asks, and I turn my gaze to his. I can see the fire in his eyes.
I shake my head. “I’m fine.”
“That’s not what I asked, Jay. Did he hurt you?”
I know for sure I could hear a pin drop in this pub. His voice echoes, such authority in it.
Suddenly, another voice joins the conversation. “Hey, this is a family establishment. Take it outside.”
Kirby holds up his hand to the manager-looking guy. “We don’t need to take it outside. That guy right there put his hand on that woman, and as this is a family establishment, surely that isn’t tolerated.”
The manager looks at me. “Ma’am, are you okay?”
“Thank you, I am. I’m leaving.”
“We’re—”
I quickly look at Allen, my eyes in slits. “We’re not doing anything.”
“Jay—” he tries. But out of nowhere, Kirby is beside me, and Allen promptly presses his lips together. His eyes burn into mine, but I don’t react. “Really?”
“Really,” I say, glaring at him. Three years on and off, I’ve been hooking up with him, but in my defense, he never made it seem like he wanted more or felt anything more. I assumed we were only fucking. Could it have been something? Maybe, but not now. Not ever. “This is unacceptable behavior, and I don’t have time for it.”
He shakes his head as he throws some money on the table. “Don’t call me.”
“That’s my line,” I throw back at him. I’m pretty sure if Kirby weren’t standing beside me, Allen would have called me some kind of name. But instead, he walks away. Once he hits the door, the normal volume of the pub picks back up, but the manager’s gaze and those of some other people still linger.
I’m not a troublemaker, which sucks because I really love their cider here.
Kirby slides his hand up my back, and I look into his beautiful face. “Why don’t you join us for dinner?”
“I should go,” I say, hooking my thumb to where everyone is staring at us. “I’m not comfortable.”
His eyes meet mine, and chills run down my spine. “I’d really like you to stay with us so I know you’re safe.”
My lips perk. “I can take care of myself, Kirby.”
“I know,” he says, his eyes softening. “But for shits and giggles, why don’t you join us?”
I bite into my lip. “I don’t know. I feel stupid.”
“For what? Bad dates happen.”
“I know, but I’m not okay with how tonight went down.”
He nods slowly, and I see the understanding in his eyes. “Well, how about you let Celeste and me walk you to your car, then?”
I look back at where Owen is holding Celeste, rocking her back and forth as he throws a piece of burger meat into his mouth. “She looks pretty content. I wouldn’t want to disturb that.”
Celeste lays her head back on Owen’s chest, moving her fingers over the hair on his jaw. Kirby chuckles, a low, throaty sound that sends heat straight to my vagina. “You’re right. She does look pretty happy.”
I should go home. Chalk this day up as a loss. But instead, I say, “I guess I should come eat with y’all so she isn’t disturbed.”
Kirby’s lips slowly turn up as he reaches for my plate. “I couldn’t agree more.”
The way he says it isn’t meant to be sexual, but it sure does sound like it. Especially when, with his other hand, he guides me to his table. When he pulls out my chair, setting my plate before me, I look up at him in amazement. He gives me a small smile before grabbing his daughter from Owen and sitting beside me. When his eyes meet mine again, I feel all kinds of right.
Which is so damn scary, I almost shit myself.
Chapter Nine
Kirby
* * *
“So, what was up with the asshole?” Owen asks as I pull out the chair for Jaylin and she sits down. I hate that Owen brought it up; I’m sure she’s embarrassed by the way that jackass acted. He’s lucky I didn’t kick his ass. Thankfully, she just laughs.
Meanwhile, I’m in awe of her. She’s wearing a tight green dress that hugs every inch of her in ways I wish I had the opportunity to. Her hair is wild, with curls along her shoulders. And I can’t decide if I like her hair straight and sleek or curly like this. One thing is for certain, I sure like looking at her. She has her makeup done to the nines, and the heels she wears are high and dangerous. Her lips are gorgeous and plump, and I want so much to press my own lips to hers. She sits with such class, her hands in her lap as she grins at Owen. “A mistake, obviously.”
“For sure. Thought Kirbo was gonna kill him,” D’Artagnan teases, and while his nickname for me is downright annoying, I nod in agreement. I haven’t seen red like that since Lilly ditched Celeste. Even then, I wasn’t as mad as I was in the moment that douchefuck grabbed Jaylin.
“He had one more chance to put his hand on her before that happened,” I admit, and everyone chuckles along. Though, Jaylin’s eyes move over my face. A smitten little grin sits on her lips, and I get the vibe she’s feeling me. But could she be? I’m so insecure about the idea that I could actually be enough for her. She’s so successful, so smart and classy. I’m not saying I’m trailer trash, but I have no family, my baby mama dumped our kid, and I knock into guys for a living tr
ying to score in a net that is guarded by a huge-ass dude with a frozen biscuit. Plus, I’m a single dad.
Is that something she would want to involve herself with? She seems different. I’ve never seen her look at a child the way she looks at Celeste. She’s always grinning at her and saying hi. Of course, Celeste eats it up. Like her daddy, she loves attention and feeling important. Or maybe it’s just my uncertainties that make me feel she craves those things. I don’t want Celeste to ever feel alone.
It’s an awful feeling.
“So, easy to say, you’ll stay away from assholes?” Owen asks, and Jaylin nods.
“That asshole, for sure. I still can’t believe he acted like that,” she says, and I can see embarrassment on her face. “But let’s let that go. I don’t want to think of him.”
“Was he a boyfriend?” Owen asks, apparently not hearing her.
She gives him a dry look. “No, just a casual f-word.”
I would have laughed at her censor, but then D’Artagnan pipes up, “Listen, Jay, I can be that casual f-word—anytime of the day.”
“D…” I warn, and he snaps his mouth shut. Jaylin thinks it’s hilarious by the way she is laughing. Owen and Evan snicker, but I hold D’Artagnan’s eyes in a heated glance, advising him to watch it.
“My bad, bro.”
I shake my head as I turn my gaze to Jaylin, but she’s grinning at D’Artagnan. With how upset it’s making me that Jaylin is smiling, mighty hard, at D’Artagnan, one would think Jaylin is my girl.
It’s me.
I’m the one thinking so.
Wanting so.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, this is hard. I shouldn’t care that she hasn’t smiled at me like that since we sat down. My sweet girl Celeste always smiles at her daddy with all the love in the world, and that is a miracle in itself. I should be satisfied, but I want more. I want Jaylin. I want her to be mine. The thing is, I work hard to be a good dad. Really, I work hard at anything I want to be successful at. I wanted to be in the NHL—boom! Done. I wanted to be a damn good parent and be Celeste’s world—boom! Done. I want Jaylin to smile at me with those dark-brown eyes that promise all kinds of naughty things.