by Stacy M Wray
I go back to see if Nancy is free yet and I spot Trey in another room, installing book shelves. Noticing how his muscles flex each time he moves a certain way, wiping the sweat off his brow, I think back to our sexual escapades in the back of his truck. I’ve not been with a lot of men, but I know that the man in that room set the bar so high, no one else came close to satisfying me. Trey was a wonderful lover.
Just as I’m getting all flustered with my thoughts of a sweaty Trey, an image of him with Amanda pops in my head, and I immediately lose all the warm and fuzzy feelings I just had. I maybe could handle him being with anyone else, but it’s like a punch to my gut that he ended up with her. How can you love and hate someone at the same time?
He looks up and notices me staring at him from the hallway. I must be glaring at him due to my thoughts, and he just shakes his head at me and gets back to work.
Nancy sees me and calls me in to her office. I end up spending quite a bit of time in there, going over my designs and all of the ideas she has for the opening. I definitely share her passion when it comes to this project.
After our meeting, I’m walking to my car and realize I don’t have my phone. I could have sworn I had it with me. I go back inside in search of it, retracing my steps. I peek my head inside the room Trey was working in. He’s no longer in here, but I see my phone on top of a shelf. That’s odd – how did it get in here? Maybe Trey found it and was going to turn it in. I retrieve it and head back to my car.
Just as I put my seatbelt on, my phone rings and I pull it out of my purse to answer it, only it’s not that phone that’s ringing. I’m starting to think I’m losing my mind, when I follow the sound of my ringtone, it’s underneath my seat. I quickly grab it and answer it.
“Hello?”
“Addie? How’s it going? I’m shocked I haven’t heard from you yet. Does that mean things are going well?” It’s Wade! That’s so weird since I was going to call him this afternoon and catch him up.
I sigh heavily into my phone. “If you’re talking about Trey, no, things are not going well.”
“Did you guys get a chance to talk?”
“That’s just it, there’s so much animosity between us that we can’t even have a civil conversation.” I know I’m whining, but Wade is used to my whining when I get really frustrated.
“Man, I’m sorry, Addie. Are you still in Vermont or are you home?”
“I’m still here. They built a new library and asked me to come up with some designs for a banner. I’m hanging around for a bit.” I’m staring at the phone I picked up in the library. Shit! It must be Trey’s – it looks exactly like mine.
“Are you going to try and talk to him, Addie? That’s what you went there for remember? You’re going to regret it if you don’t and guess who’s going to hear about it for years to come?” Wade says sarcastically.
“I know. I know. You’re right, but I think he’s with someone and it all just may be pointless now.”
“Well, just think about what I said. I have an appointment I need to get to. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Yeah, okay. Hopefully I’ll have better news when I talk to you next. Bye, Wade.”
I end the call and thump the back of my head on my seat in frustration. I turn and look at what I believe to be Trey’s phone, sitting in the passenger seat. I pick it up and stare at it. I tap the screen and slide the bar to the ‘enter passcode’ screen, typing Trey’s birthdate – 3 8 8 6. Nope!
I set the phone down and stare at it, willing it to give me some kind of insight. Just for kicks, I pick it back up, slide the bar and enter my birthdate – 5 2 8 6. My heart jumps out of my chest – it worked! Holy Shit! Ten years later and he’s got my birthdate as his password. This speaks volumes to me. What in the hell is going on with us?
All of a sudden I have renewed hope but I don’t know what to do with this juicy tidbit I’ve just received. One thing I do know is that I need to get this phone back to the room I swiped it from.
I go back inside to the room I found the phone, and Trey is in there looking around. Shit. This is embarrassing. I clear my throat a little and he looks up. I hold his phone up and ask, “Looking for this?”
He scrunches up his brows in confusion and says, “Yeah, as a matter of fact I am. Can I ask you what you’re doing with my phone?”
My cheeks become heated and I can’t look him in the eye. “Um, I thought I left my phone in here and our phones are identical. I’m sorry, I took it by mistake.” My eyes flick to his. The way he’s looking at me makes me think he’s not buying my story.
He gives me a half-grin and says, “Oh yeah?” He walks slowly toward me and my breath hitches. He reaches for my hand that has his phone, grazing my fingers in the process. His touch still has the power to turn my insides on fire, and he knows it by the look on his face. No longer smirking, his eyes become dark with desire; a look I’ve seen a million times. All of a sudden it’s sweltering in here.
I turn to leave, not knowing what to do with this reaction since anger is the only emotion I’ve been able to provoke from him lately.
“Addie!” He says my name with so much longing and so much pain. There are ten year’s worth of regret in the five letters he just spoke, and I hear it all. I turn and look at him. His cocky façade is gone, replaced with a broken man.
“I just want to know why you threw us away,” he says.
I snap out of the trance he just had me in because I could have sworn he just accused me of ‘throwing us away.’ “What did you just say?” In a matter of five seconds, I’m pissed off again.
He looks down, saying, “You heard me.”
I walk forward, hands flying to my hips and say through gritted teeth, “I’m not the one who threw us away, Trey. You’re the one that said you couldn’t do a long-distance relationship – that it wasn’t working out, whatever the hell that meant. Then I tried calling you over Thanksgiving break and you wouldn’t even take my calls. I had no idea why.”
He raises his voice, clearly agitated. “You want to know why?” His eyes are piercing as he continues. “You want to know why, Addie? I stopped taking your fucking calls because some guy answered your phone; the things he said to me clearly leading me to believe you guys were together. I stopped taking your fucking calls when I drove all the way to see you and saw you and some guy with your arms around each other. I’m not an idiot, Addie – I know what I fucking saw.” He is fuming.
Just then Nancy pops her head in and cautiously asks, “Everything alright in here?” Trey and I momentarily forgot where we were, and I’m embarrassed to have been airing our dirty laundry for all to hear.
After a long and deafening silence, I say, “I was just leaving,” and turn to go, leaving Trey and Nancy in an awkward situation. I just had to get out of there before I exploded in anger. How dare he say this was all me? And who in the hell is he talking about? I was never with anyone. I’ve got to get somewhere to think and clear my head.
Approaching my car, I decide against getting in after what I witnessed with Rex in my rear view mirror. I vowed to never get in a car again being as angry as I am now. Throwing my purse over my shoulder, I set off on foot. It might take a while to digest all of the information that was thrown at me.
First of all, I realize that Trey and I still have deep-rooted feelings for each other, and we’re just having a hard time being able to communicate since those feelings have been bottled up for so long. Randomly throwing our thoughts out there is getting us nowhere.
Second, when did he call me and some guy answered my phone? And when did he drive to see me? I never cheated on him. I was never even tempted. I missed Trey like crazy when I took off for college.
Racking my brain, I think back to all the people I hung out with during my first semester. My roommate, Lila, and I mostly hung out with two other girls on our dorm floor…then it hits me.
We were assigned a partner in one of my art classes and had to draw each other. My partner was Eli - I always g
ot the sense that he was into me, but he seemed innocent enough. He would have been in my dorm room because that’s where I drew him, but my roommate was always there. I made sure of it. Then I remember that one night we ordered a pizza, and Lila and I went downstairs to pay for it when it came. I wonder if Trey called then and Eli picked up my phone. If that were the case, why wouldn’t Trey just ask me about it?
My head is spinning trying to make sense of it all. I don’t know how long I’ve been wandering around, but I see I’ve come full circle as I am now back in front of the library parking lot. I see a familiar face coming toward me; it’s Mark Hanover, a classmate of mine. “Hey, Addie. I didn’t realize you were still in town,” he says, stopping in front of me.
“Oh hey, Mark. Yeah, I decided to hang a bit and make it a mini-vacation of sorts.” Mark’s a nice guy but I didn’t really know him all that well in school.
“Did you have fun at the reunion?” he asks me.
“Sure. It was great seeing everyone.” I tell him.
There’s an awkward silence and he asks, “Say, would you want to get some dinner tomorrow night and catch up?”
Ugh! I don’t really but what am I suppose to say? “Sure,” I end up telling him.
“Great!” he says a little too enthusiastically. “Let’s meet at the diner at seven?”
Relieved to be meeting him, I say, “Seven works.”
He goes in for a stiff hug so I reciprocate. Over his shoulder, I see Trey walking to his truck and stopping in his tracks when he sees us, staring with a tight expression on his face.
I end the hug and tell Mark I’ll see him tomorrow night. He nods and waves as he walks off. I ignore Trey and walk to my car, climbing in as I hear him say, sarcastically under his breath, “Well, that didn’t take long.”
I promise myself I won’t let him get to me as I pull out of the parking lot towards home.
*****
I’ve spent most of my day catching up on my work, researching ideas for the book cover I’m working on for someone in Ohio. I’ve just shut my laptop when my mom pops her head in my room. “Your dad and I were going to order a pizza for dinner. Sound good to you?”
I scrunch my nose up and say, “Well, actually I’m having dinner with someone from school tonight at the diner.”
Her face lights up a little. “Oh?”
“No, Mom, it’s not like that. I really don’t want to go, but I didn’t want to be rude.”
“Speaking of school, did you know that Trey is still in town?” Her eyebrows lift as she asks me this.
“Yeah, we’ve run into each other a bit. It seems every single time we try to talk one of us says something to piss the other off. We can’t seem to get anywhere,” I tell her, exasperated at the whole situation.
She just smiles at me. “What?” I ask her.
“You and Trey have always had so much passion. You fought just as fiercely as you loved, don’t you remember?” she asks with a wistful look on her face.
I do remember all too well. We had some whopper fights, but they wouldn’t last very long – we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We did love each other fiercely. Mom couldn’t have described it any better.
“Well, I guess I’d better get ready to go.” I climb off my bed and head to the bathroom, wishing I wouldn’t have agreed to this.
It doesn’t take me long to freshen up and change clothes, and I’m out the door to meet Mark. I’m hoping this dinner isn’t as painful as the conversation on the sidewalk yesterday.
*****
When I open the door to the diner, I notice he’s already got a booth for us and waves me over. I take a deep breath and walk over, sliding in the side opposite of Mark. “Hey, Addie.” He already seems more relaxed than yesterday.
“Hi. I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” I tell him, noticing he already has a drink and it’s almost gone.
He shrugs and says, “I was a little early.” The waitress comes over and takes my drink order, then whisks away to another table.
After a few minutes, our conversation starts to flow naturally, and I’m relieved this isn’t going as bad as I envisioned. Turns out he’s actually pretty funny and has me in stitches a few times.
I forgot how much I enjoy the food at this diner, and it doesn’t disappoint. Mark and I finish our meals and he suggests we walk down to the ice cream shop for our dessert.
We just get out the door when we run right into Trey, Amanda, and the little boy. My heart sinks so far down into the cavity of my chest that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to retrieve it. Just the mere possibility that Trey could be his father brings immediate tears to the back of my eyes, knowing that the life we created was taken away from us. But I won’t let them form. I’ll be damned if I give her the least bit of satisfaction that she has won. She’s tried to get her hooks in him for so long and I still can’t believe that he’s with her.
Amanda is the first to speak. “Hey, Mark.” Turning to me, she says, a little more reserved, “Adelyn, I didn’t realize you were in town. Trey didn’t mention that.” She flashes her eyes at Trey, who looks very uncomfortable.
I can’t help it and my eyes immediately go to the little boy. He looks to be about nine or ten, and I’m desperately trying to see if there is any resemblance to Trey. Amanda notices me looking at him and says, “This is Jackson - the love of my life.”
I manage a smile and say to him, “Hello, Jackson. I’m Addie.”
“Hi,” he says shyly.
My eyes go to Trey’s, begging for some information. It still hurts like hell to see the three of them together, especially after the words that were exchanged the other day. The only thing he conveys is remorse but for what exactly, I’m not sure.
Trey turns his attention to Mark. “You just visiting or are you still in town?” His tone doesn’t seem very friendly, and I’m wondering if Mark picked up on that.
“Yeah, I’m still here…never left. I’m a financial analyst over at the bank.” He points over his shoulder in the direction of the one and only bank in our town.
“Good for you.” Trey makes his way toward the door, indicating he’s done with the pleasantries. He doesn’t take his eyes off of me as he holds the door open for Amanda and Jackson.
“Well, it was nice seeing you both,” she says, putting on a false smile, lying through her teeth. At least I have the satisfaction knowing that Trey didn’t confide in her about me being here, and that she was completely surprised to see me.
I force a fake smile and notice that Trey hesitates before following them in.
Mark and I continue our walk toward the ice cream shop, the awkwardness back in full force. He breaks the silence by saying, “That was all a little weird.” He follows this with some nervous laughter.
“Sorry about that. There’s always been bad blood between Amanda and me,” I admit to him.
“I wasn’t referring to Amanda.” He hesitates before adding, “I have to say I’m surprised you aren’t with Trey. Everyone thought you guys would get married.”
I cringe when I hear this and just say, “It’s a long story,” hoping he picks up on the fact that I don’t want to talk about Trey.
“One that’s clearly not over,” he adds. I shoot him a surprised look. “What? You didn’t see the way he looked at me? Like I was stealing his girl?”
Trying to disguise the hurt in my voice, I say, “Well, he clearly seems to be with her so I guess it doesn’t matter.”
Now it’s his turn to look surprised. “I don’t think they’re together, Addie. Rumor has it, she got pregnant and the dad has never been around. Besides, Trey doesn’t even live here anymore. I think he’s over around Burlington last I heard.”
He doesn’t know how much his words mean to me. This whole time I thought Trey was the father of Jackson, and it was nearly killing me. As much as I hated running into them tonight, it was worth it just for the mere fact of what Mark just shared with me. Are they really not a couple? I know that she
wants them to be. I could tell by the smug look in her eyes.
Having felt like a huge weight has been lifted, I feel a little bit better as we get our ice cream. The awkwardness of running into Trey dissipates and our conversation starts to flow again. I tell him all about my job designing book covers and some of the more interesting books I’ve read in the process.
He walks me to my car and I pray we don’t run into Trey again. I pull the keys out of my purse and thank Mark for dinner and dessert. He tells me, “It was my pleasure, Addie. How much longer are you staying?”
After thinking about his question for a minute, I say, “I’m thinking it’s about time to head home. I want to tie up some loose ends at the library, and then I’ll probably be on my way.”
“Does Trey know that?” he asks, catching me by surprise.
“Well, no, but Trey and I aren’t exactly on good terms it seems,” I respond.
“You’re just going to leave without telling him?” He seems shocked I would do that. Well, the more I see him with Amanda, the more I don’t give a shit if I say goodbye or not.
“I don’t owe him anything, Mark, and he doesn’t owe me. I guess it is what it is now and it’s time to move on.”
“Well, I hope it all works out for you, Addie. Good luck.” He leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek and turns to leave.
“Thanks, Mark. Bye!” I call to him.
I get in my car and drive back to our farm. I’m really going to miss this place and now that I’ve broken my streak of not returning, I plan on making the trip back much more often.
I think it’s best to remove myself from the situation now. I’m not certain if the rumors Mark heard are true, but I just can’t handle seeing Trey and Amanda together. It completely guts me, bringing up bad memories.
chapter twelve
ADELYN
eleven years ago
Trey and I have been together now for about a year and a half, and I just know I’m going to marry that boy some day. I’m totally oblivious to any other guy in our school, and I think Trey would say the same, about girls that is.