by Stacy M Wray
I laugh. “Probably not since Addie was here. What do you have there?”
“I have peanut butter and jelly on tortillas. It’s all I could find to put together.” He takes a bite of his creation, saying, “Not bad actually.”
Giving him a disgusting look, I’m shocked he even found that.
We sit in silence as he eats, and I’m wondering why he’s really here.
“It’s really nice out here but don’t you miss having neighbors?” he asks me.
“Nope. I like the quiet. I’m around construction noise all day; I like coming home to quiet.”
He nods in understanding. “I get that, I guess.”
More silence. I finally ask, “Why are you here, Luke? I get the feeling you have an agenda.” I finish my beer and set the bottle down on the small table beside my chair.
He hesitates and asks me, “Have you heard from Addie?”
My heart accelerates at the mention of her name, and I’m wondering why he’s asking about her. “Nope.”
He begins peeling the label off his beer and then says, “I ran into her mom a couple of days ago at the farmer’s market.”
He’s got my interest piqued somewhat. “Oh yeah? How’s she doing?”
“Well, she’s worried about her daughter, for one thing.” He won’t meet my eyes and I wonder what point he’s trying to make.
I don’t respond to that, so he continues, “She shared some information with me that I thought you might want to know - information that might help you understand Addie’s side of things.”
“I’m listening.”
He turns in his seat and looks me in the eye and says, “Addie rushed back home that night because they were taking her husband off of life support that day. He was in a horrible car accident and had been in that hospital for a year.”
“Fuck me,” I breathe out, suddenly feeling like an ass.
“There’s more,” he adds. “She shared with me that their marriage was pretty much over before the accident even happened – in all ways except the legal one. She made it sound that if that accident hadn’t have happened, they wouldn’t be together still.”
Shaking my head, I add, “So the day she came back here and found Amanda in my house, she had just buried her husband and came back here to tell me everything?”
He slowly nods his head and I feel like I’m about to be sick. I guess not being in any kind of a relationship in the past ten years tells me I’m rusty as hell at it and I’ve got a lot to learn. And a lot to make up for.
I jump out of my chair and start pacing back and forth, dragging my hands through my hair. “I need to fix this, Luke.”
Luke just stares at me, offering me no argument.
It hits me all of a sudden. “I don’t even know where she lives.” I’m starting to panic, praying I’m not too late. “I just know she lives in Connecticut. I need my laptop. We’ve got to find her.”
“What about tracking your phone again?”
Smiling at him, I say, “I actually tried to do that a few days ago just to see where she was but it didn’t come up. I’m sure it died a while ago and she never charged it back up.” I run into the house in search of my computer.
I hear Luke yell from the patio, “Don’t worry, Trey, we’ll find her.”
Hurrying back outside, I plop my laptop on the table and open it, typing Addie’s name in. The first thing that pops up in connection to her name is her husband’s obituary, seeing his photo gives me the chills, knowing he was married to Addie and they shared a life together.
“There’s something very wrong with using his obit to find information about Addie,” I tell Luke.
He ignores me and reads over my shoulder, “There,” he points out, “they live in Bloomfield. Search for her in Bloomfield.”
I do as he says, trying to swallow sadness about what happened to her husband. “Damn, nothing comes up,” I tell him, frustrated.
“Type in her husband’s name,” he instructs me.
“What was it? I was too busy looking at his photo.”
“Bennett. Rex Bennett,” he offers.
Typing in his name, his address appears and I know I’ve found Addie. I just hate the way I had to find her.
Luke stares at me and says, “What are you waiting for, man? Go get your girl.”
I give him a brief hug and say, “I’ll leave tomorrow morning. I don’t want to get there late at night and freak her out.”
“Yeah, probably a good idea. In that case, let’s get a couple of more beers and drink to new beginnings. What do you say?” He doesn’t even wait for my answer as he goes back inside to fetch more beer.
As happy as I am about going to find Addie tomorrow, I am filled with guilt and regret that she just had to go through all of that on her own. I should have been there for her and I wasn’t. I will die trying to make it up to her.
*****
Luke took off later last night so he could be there to oversee the early morning milking of the cows. I couldn’t thank him enough for the information he brought me, and I realize that my brother is a die hard romantic. He’s always been rooting for Addie and me, saying we belong together.
I talk to Jake about being gone for a couple of days, promising I’ll keep in touch. I make myself a mental note to give him a hell of a bonus for all the extra times I’ve had to rely on him lately, and he always steps up with a ‘no problem’ attitude.
After entering Addie’s address into my GPS, I take off for Bloomfield.
While I’m driving, I replay the day Addie walked in on Amanda and me. It makes me nervous as hell knowing that she thinks we’re together. I pretty much threw Amanda out that day, telling her I needed space from her. This whole thing is such a mess.
I make it to Bloomfield in a little over three and a half long hours. My GPS tells me I’m coming up to her street. Turning left, I look for her house number. There it is, up on the right. I pull up in front of the house and my heart sinks. There’s a FOR SALE sign in the front yard. Shit!
Getting out my truck, I go to her front door, praying she’s still here. I ring the doorbell and wait, trying to listen for any movement from inside the house. Nothing. I ring the bell again and begin pacing on her front porch.
Taking a few steps back, I stand on her lawn and look up at her house.
“She’s not there,” I hear an older lady say from the house next door.
I spot her watering her flowers, and immediately take off in her direction. “Excuse me, I’m looking for Adelyn. Do you know her?”
She turns her nozzle off and says, “Sure. But she’s not there anymore. Saw the moving vans carry out the furniture and saw her pack up her car and drive away. From the looks of it, I don’t think she’s coming back. Shame about her husband…”
Cursing myself for not coming after her sooner, I ask the nosey neighbor, “Do you know when she left?”
She looks to the sky, like it will aid in her memory, and says, “Well, let’s see, I had just gotten home from the beauty parlor so that would’ve been a week ago Tuesday. No, wait. I had to change my hair appointment since I had to take my cat to the vet on Tuesday. She said she could squeeze me in on Thursday. Yep, a week ago Thursday was the day she left,” she tells me, quite proud of herself for remembering.
Feeling deflated, I thank her and start walking to my truck. Where did you take off to, Addie? Did you go somewhere to start over? I can’t stand not knowing where she is.
Not knowing what else to do, I take off for home. Knowing I only have one source to turn to, I head for Northfield, to Addie’s parents’ farm.
*****
I’m so sick of being in this truck with nothing but my thoughts that I’m elated when I come up to Northfield.
If I’m being honest, I’m not sure I will be very well received. I know Addie and her mom are extremely close, and I’m sure Liz has been filled in on our drama. I’m fully prepared to take all I have coming if it will help me get to Addie.
I p
ull in the driveway and get out, hoping to get some answers. I ring the bell and wait.
After a moment, Liz opens the door. Her look goes from surprise to trying to hide a smile. I find that odd, considering.
“Hi, Liz. I was hoping we could talk,” I say, testing the waters.
She steps aside and opens the door wider, inviting me in. “Sure,” she says, “let’s go in the living room.”
I sit in a chair across from her and say, “This is getting embarrassing. Your daughter and I can’t seem to ever get our shit together.” Realizing what I just said, I add, “Sorry for the language.”
She smiles. “That’s quite alright, Trey. I couldn’t agree with you more.”
Not knowing how to respond to that, I say, “I need to see Addie, Liz. I’ve just returned from Bloomfield to find her moved out and gone. Please, you’ve got to tell me where to find her. I need to make us right once and for all.”
She studies me for a moment and says, “Addie has decided she needs a fresh start. She’s been through so much this past year, Trey, and with all that’s been thrown on her this past month, it’s no wonder she hasn’t snapped.” I hang my head in shame, knowing I’ve contributed to her hell.
“I’m so sorry, Liz. I know I handled everything horribly.” I hesitate before asking, “Are you going to tell me where I can find her?”
She pauses before answering, making me squirm. Finally, she says, “She’s in Montpelier looking at houses. She should be back this evening.”
What? “You mean she’s here?” Relief sweeps over me and I have a renewed sense of hope.
“Yes, Trey, she’s here.” She crosses her leg over the other and continues, “No one wants to see you work your shit out more than me.”
I grin at this and tell her, “Looks like I need to come up with a plan to win your daughter back.”
“Looks that way,” she agrees.
chapter twenty-five
ADELYN
After thanking the real estate lady for showing me this last house, I make the short drive back to Northfield.
Having seen four different houses today, nothing really spoke to me. I tell myself this might take awhile but I don’t want to rush it. I want to find the perfect home for me.
It didn’t take much thought to come to the conclusion that I really didn’t want to stay in Connecticut since my family is in Vermont and that’s where I want to be.
The hardest part about leaving was moving further away from Wade. I have always looked forward to our dinners together, but I also know that things will be changing since he’s getting married. It’s not going to be so easy for us to meet like that all the time. There’s always Skype.
After having a long discussion with him, he agreed I needed to move closer to those who love me. He even pointed out that I would be closer to Trey if I choose to work things out with him.
After much reflection on my life, I realized that I had swept all of my regrets under the rug after college and just plowed ahead, never looking back and dwelling on the reasons. I couldn’t change it so why agonize over it? Part of me wonders how my life would have turned out if I would have faced things head on. If I had just claimed those regrets, Trey and I may have never missed out on those years we spent apart. I can’t put all the blame on him; I didn’t try hard enough either. Pride got in my way.
But now it’s time to forge ahead. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I do know it’s time to make a stable life for myself. I’ve decided to do it in Montpelier. I knew I wanted to be back in Vermont and close to my parents, and this just seemed like the logical choice.
Pulling into our driveway, I feel content with my decision to leave my life in Connecticut. I feel a sense of calmness in my life right now that I can’t quite explain.
Getting out of my car, I go inside and see my mom and dad just sitting down to dinner.
“Perfect timing,” my mom says. “You hungry?”
“Yes,” I tell her, taking a seat. “This looks wonderful.”
“So how did the house hunting go? Find anything?” Dad asks, stabbing a pork chop and putting it on his plate, then passing the plate to me.
Scrunching my nose up and shaking my head, I tell him, “No, not really, but I’m not in a huge hurry.”
“Of course not, dear. You need to take your time on a decision as big as that,” my mom tells me. She hands my dad the bowl of mashed potatoes and asks, “Do you plan on looking at any more houses tomorrow?”
I shake my head and tell her, “No, I’m spending the next couple of days catching up on work. I’ve got some deadlines looming and I need to complete some projects.”
She simply smiles at me and nods in understanding.
After dinner, I go upstairs to get a jump-start on my work.
I grab my laptop off of my desk and plop on my bed. Pulling up my latest design work, I contemplate how I want to portray the darkness of this novel for the cover. The author wants something a bit edgy.
As if the walls of my room will give me the answer, I look around and my eyes land on a note stuck to my mirror. My brows furrow as I quickly get up to see what it is.
Gently removing the note, I begin to read the familiar handwriting that can only belong to one person. My hand comes to my mouth as I read:
Meet me tomorrow in our spot at 11:00 – please!!
Immediately looking around my room, I wonder how he got in here.
A light bulb goes off and I’m out of my room taking the stairs two at a time. I look for Mom in the kitchen but find it empty. The next place I look is in her reading room, and I find her nestled in her favorite chair with a book in her lap.
I hold the note up and walk to her. “What do you know about this?” I ask, watching the corners of her mouth slowly turn up into a sly grin.
“He came by today looking for you. We had a nice little chat,” she tells me, acting as if she had done no wrong.
This surprises me. “How did he even know I was here?” I’ve not been out around town and hardly anyone knows I’m back.
A serious look has replaced her smile and she informs me, “Addie, that man drove all the way to Bloomfield to see you. When he saw your house up for sale and that you were gone, he immediately drove here, wanting to know where you had gone.”
Her words catch me off guard. “He really did that?”
“Yes. He was very panicked. I thought it was really sweet.”
I roll my eyes and say, “Mom, no offense, but you think everything Trey does is sweet.”
She gets serious again, saying, “Not everything.”
I look at the note in my hand and read it again.
“Are you going to go?” she asks.
I think on this for a moment before I respond to her. “I really don’t know.” Just when I start to get my life back together, he goes and pulls a stunt like this. I am torn and conflicted as I make my way back to my room.
I stare at my computer screen and can’t get my mind off of that damn note. I slam the screen down, knowing I’m not going to be able to get any work done. Damn him.
*****
I could hardly sleep at all last night, going over everything in my head that I wanted to say to Trey. We have so much to talk about and I still wonder what’s going on with Amanda. Is he really with her if he wants to see me?
I still haven’t decided what to do. I guess it really couldn’t hurt to talk. That would be the mature thing to do.
I fix myself a cup of coffee, desperately needing the caffeine today, but I couldn’t eat a thing because I’m so nervous about this unexpected meeting.
Time gets away from me quickly and I know I need to finally get going. I just hope I’m making the right decision. Going downstairs, I grab my purse and keys and head to my car.
It’s a gorgeous September day and I can feel the hint of the changing of seasons. I notice the trees are taking on the subtle transformation of color as I drive to our spot. The spot where we have spent almost entire sum
mers together. The spot where I lost my virginity to him. The spot where we cried together over our lost child.
Just as I come up to path I’m supposed to turn on, I find that all of these memories overwhelm me and I end up driving right past it. I need some more time to gather myself, needing more clarity.
As I come up to the weathered, red beauty that always brings me comfort, I immediately feel better knowing that I’m buying myself some time.
I get out and instead of going across the bridge, I climb down the path that leads to the water, finding a huge rock to sit on. I perch myself on that rock and listen to the babbling of Dog River that rushes past my feet downstream. The tranquil sound lulls me into a place where I close my eyes and lose myself.
I begin to think about this past year and all the heartache it brought. I know that our past events shape us to be the people who we are today, and I’ve come to terms with that. That’s why I’ve pretty much chosen not to dwell and be bitter about the events that have taken place in my life. Some things I had control of and some things I didn’t. But it is what it is now and there’s not a damn thing I can do but learn from it.
Do I want to live the rest of my life without Trey in it? This is a question I’ve asked myself over and over the past couple of weeks. I’ve avoided coming up with an answer all of this time and a moment of lucidity finally leads me to it.
Something brings me out of my thoughts – a car is approaching and I hope no one stops when they see my car pulled off. I don’t want to be social at this moment.
Listening carefully, I hear the car stop and then I hear a door open and shut. Shit.
The hard footsteps clunk across the wooden planks, echoing through the walls of the bridge. I just want to be alone and don’t want to be noticed. I find myself holding my breath, wanting to remain hidden.
I follow the sounds of the footsteps, knowing they are almost to the wide, open window that will reveal my presence. In mere moments, the silence tells me that the intruder is now at the window but as to which side I’m uncertain. The answer presents itself as soon as I feel the heated stare on me, and I slowly lift my head to the window and gasp.