Evie glanced at Gavin and felt her lips tug up at the sight of his expression.
“The man didn’t want to live in a place where it snowed for months at a time.” She looked from one to another, brow arched. “I mean, honestly. They didn’t talk about the snow? He hated winter so much and she never knew?”
Gavin made a noise in his throat. “Is it possible to marry somebody and not know what season they like the best?”
She chuckled, but her eyes were sad. “Oh, dearie, I think it’s very possible. There are so many other things competing for attention. Looks, money, status. Then after a few years you get a good look at the person and realize you didn’t know them at all.”
Grandma Lili lifted her mug and took a long sip. “But that’s my lecture for the day. I’m headed over to Mrs. Werlin’s table there. She’s always got the news of the week. Better than your paper, Evie. You should hire her to dish the dirt.” She patted his hand and grinned. “You two go have some fun. Get to know each other. And it was lovely to meet you, Evie.”
“Thank you. I’m glad I came. But won’t you be needing a ride?”
“I drove myself. I’m only eighty-two.” And with that parting shot, she stood and waved them goodbye on her way toward a table packed with chattering old ladies. A few old men had staked out their own table and were busy arguing over something that needed a lot of hand gestures.
There was a short silence and Evie snuck Gavin a glance. He probably was waiting for the right moment to set her straight. Poor man, practically married off without saying a word. And every time Lili had mentioned Allison, Evie’s conscience had twinged in response.
“Do you want to take a walk? There’s a beautiful trail behind the church that comes out near the old sledding hill. Probably lots of boarders out there today. We can count the nose grabs.”
“The what?”
“The ones who catch air and grab the end of the board.” He was already standing, clearing their coffee mugs.
“Sure, let’s go walk off these doughnuts.” Evie stood, grabbing her coat. He obviously wanted to wait until they were alone to put in his objections. She’d make it easy on him, try to start the conversation first. But something deep inside warmed at the memory of Grandma Lili and her advice. She was missing that kind of solid strength, yearned for it. If only there was a way to share her. Some people had all the luck.
Chapter Ten
Gavin felt the snow crunch under his boots in a satisfying way. Evie walked beside him, eyes focused on the footpath that wound through tall pine trees toward Ruby Hill. He shot a glance in her direction. Her hood was down, but her face was unreadable, her mouth set in a soft smile. He sighed. She was probably thinking what a crazy conversation that had been, but Grandma Lili was wiser than all the people he knew put together. Add that to her unshakable faith and he wouldn’t trade her for anyone.
“Listen, I know that was awkward, but she didn’t mean any harm.”
Evie said nothing, just smiled in his direction. The sound of their boots echoed in the cold air. He could hear the faraway sounds of children testing the brand-new snow on the hill.
“You’re probably thinking she’s a nutty old lady.”
She stopped and stood blinking up at him. The midmorning sun peeked through the clouds, and her eyes glowed bright blue. “Is that what you think? That I see your grandmother as nutty?”
Gavin frowned, trying to recapture his train of thought. If only she wasn’t so pretty, wasn’t standing so close. “She had a great marriage, even though they were very different people, and can’t see why the divorce rate is so high.” He spread his hands, looking out across the snowy trail toward the trees. “She’s not a cranky old person wanting to make everyone miserable. She’s—”
“Protective.” Evie laughed, a sound so light and warm that it felt like waves against his heart. She reached out a mitten and touched his arm. “Gavin, I think she’s wonderful. Truly.”
He said nothing, wondering how he could feel the heat of her hand through her glove and his coat, then realizing it was his own reaction to her touch.
“I’m not sure what your parents are like, but mine aren’t very protective.” She dropped her hand and he immediately wished she hadn’t. “They give lots of advice, but not about happy marriages, or learning to balance life and work, or even how to attract a man.” Her lips curled a bit at the last sentence, as if she really didn’t want that kind of help. “It’s all about making good impressions on people in power, how to become wealthy, how to acquire things.”
He nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. “Perhaps our parents are similar that way.”
“So please don’t apologize for your beautiful grandmother. I’m jealous of you and Allison. Maybe she’ll adopt me if I ask her very nicely.” Her dimples were like deep indents in each cheek. He wanted to respond, but all he could think was how Evie seemed to fit into every part of his life. From her passion for social justice, to the Mission meetings, to her dedication to making her employees happy, to sitting in church today with his grandmother. He felt like she got it. She understood. She was real.
Almost against his will, he took a step forward. He watched those sky-blue eyes widen, dark lashes framing them perfectly. If there was anything he could say, he would try to form words, but all he could think of was how much he wanted to brush a kiss over her soft mouth. His gaze dropped to her lips. He waited, wondering if she would put up a hand, warn him off. But she stood motionless.
He didn’t remember taking the last step, but somehow they were very close, his arm gently wrapped around her waist. She smelled wonderful, like apples and cinnamon. Her head tilted up, thick dark hair falling back from her face, and she met his eyes. He saw yearning, hope, wild happiness, and at the last moment before he leaned toward her, there was something else, as if she had suddenly remembered where they were. She still didn’t move back but returned his kiss without a second’s hesitation.
She fit in his arms like she’d been born to be there, felt righter than any other woman ever had. How many times had he said he would wait until things were calmer, less hectic, less chaotic, before getting any closer to her? But like everything else with Evie, his plans meant nothing. The only thing that mattered, that existed in the universe, was her soft mouth and the splay of her fingers against his chest.
After a few moments he forced himself to break away, wishing they could stand there forever but knowing real life was just around the corner. Or the trail bend, as it were. He felt crazy, kissing her behind the church on a snowy day, like teenagers hiding from their chaperone.
“Um, that was not planned. I don’t want you to think I lured you out here with an ulterior motive.”
“Well, now I’m disappointed. I was hoping this was your plan all along. If I’m just a spur-of-the-moment smooch, then maybe I’ll take it back.” Her voice was husky.
He felt his brows rise. “Yes, please, do take it back. I don’t deserve it one bit.”
Evie’s eyes were bright with laughter and she stood on tiptoes, gaze slipping to his mouth. His heart hammered in his chest as she drew near, reminding him of so many moments he’d wished they’d been this close. Then at the last moment, she drew back, eyes shadowed.
“Gavin.” She spoke his name so softly he wondered if he’d imagined it. “I should tell you something about my past. I meant to tell you before now.”
“Wait.” He paused, searching for words. “Despite Grandma Lili behind me, I’ve still made some spectacularly bad choices. We all make mistakes. And we all ask forgiveness. Christ always makes a way for us to change, keep working toward something better. If you want, later, we can sit down and write each other a list. But...” he waved his hand around the pine-shaded trail, the bright white of the snow drifts, the distant sound of kids sledding “...just for today, let’s enjoy this.”
&n
bsp; She smiled, as if coming to a decision. Evie looked up at the trees, her whole posture relaxing. She was almost happy now, as if a burden had slipped from her shoulders.
There was no sound except a slight breeze in the treetops and the distant noise of kids playing. Evie’s hand touched his arm. “What is past is prologue.” And she smiled up at him, as if that made all the sense in the world.
Gavin raised his eyebrows.
“It’s from The Tempest. Not a great scene, sort of depressing. But what I meant is that everything in our past prepares us for our future.” She took a breath and let out it out slowly.
Gavin searched her face, trying to decide what else she was trying to say. Or not say.
“When someone shares a failing from his past, it doesn’t make me think any less of him. I figure they’re moving forward and that’s what is most important.”
Those were the words he had waited to hear. He had lost sleep, wrestled with his own conscience and argued with God. Evie could be trusted with Allison’s secret, when Allison was ready to share it.
“I agree. Because we’re all a work in progress, as long as we don’t give up.” His toes were getting numb from standing still in the cold. He took her mittened hand and turned back toward the sledding hill. “Let’s keep walking before we freeze to death.”
She strode along beside him, matching his steps, her fingers tight in his. “Back there, when we were...”
He shot her a glance, lips curving up. “We were what? I’m not sure I remember exactly. You should describe it. Or better yet, show me.” He loved the pink of her cheeks, the frown that battled with her shy smile.
“Not a chance. Too many impressionable children around. Plus, I’d never remember what I was going to say the third time around.” She paused as they came out on the trail head and Ruby Hill stretched in front of them, dotted with sledders and snowboarders. An orange plastic barrier delineated the ski area from the off-limits woods. Bright snowsuits and ski jackets flashed by, and it seemed hundreds of children yelled for someone to pull them back up the long, sloping hill.
He turned to look at her, but she was staring intently at the activity. He wasn’t sure if she was choosing her words or was distracted. The next moment, she turned to him, a bright smile creasing her face.
“Never mind. You’re right. Let’s just enjoy the day.” She slipped her arm through his and he felt a warmth expand in his chest, as if the sun were shining just for him.
There would be time for all those conversations, the kind that dug deep and exposed painful pasts. But for right now, he hugged her to his side and said a silent prayer of thanks. Whatever Evie had to say couldn’t be anything close to what his family had been through in the past five years.
Chapter Eleven
“Look who’s Little Miss Sunshine.” Jack slouched in the chair across from Evie’s, one foot propped on the rung of the chair next to him. The Mission conference room was chilly and smelled of stale coffee. The finance meeting was going to be the shortest on record if Nancy didn’t show up. Gavin was busy and Grant was stuck in another meeting.
Evie felt her cheeks warm. Gavin’s kiss had been replaying in her mind all day. It was enough to make her want to swing her arms out wide and belt something from The Sound of Music. “And why not? It’s a wonderful Thursday, Christmas is almost here, no advertisers have left us for The Daily, and the lawyers haven’t shot down a single story.”
“There’s always tomorrow.” Jack’s usual contented attitude had taken a leave of absence.
“Why are you in such a foul mood? Did they close the ski season early?” Evie softened her words with a smile. She’d be in a terrible mood, too, if she was employed in name only.
“Dunno. Just thinking.” He picked at an invisible thread on his suit jacket. “I was always the fearless one and you were the responsible one. Now I feel like I’m stuck in an endless loop of meetings and you’re branching out.”
“Branching out? Like joining this finance board? That’s hardly exciting.”
“You seem so happy, so ready to take on the world.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Maybe it’s Gavin.”
She wanted to hush him but knew Gavin wouldn’t be coming tonight. The lab was completely overrun with work. Evie rolled her eyes, aiming for scorn but ending up somewhere near startled. Jack had said the name of the man who had taken up permanent residence in her daydreams after Sunday.
“Since you met him, you seem different. Less fearful.” As she opened her mouth to argue, he raised a hand. “I’m not saying you used to creep around like a scared bunny. But you seemed to think that God was waiting to smite you down if you messed up.”
“I thought being afraid of doing the wrong thing was what happened when you grew up.” Did Jack think she wasn’t as committed to making the right choice just because she was growing closer to Gavin? Cold fear rose in her chest and she struggled to hear his words.
“You know that verse about perfect love casting out all fear?”
“But I’m not in love with Gavin.” At least, she didn’t think so. Definitely in like. A lot of like.
His lips tugged up. “Not Gavin. God.”
Evie blinked and then sat back in her chair, eyes on the ceiling. Jack was the deep thinker, the dreamer, the free spirit. She was the bottom-line girl, the one who made sure all the papers were signed and worried whether the insurance was current. Twins, but sometimes as different as night and day. Right now she felt like following this conversation was like trying to swallow an elephant.
“Somehow, I’m not sure exactly, they’re connected.” Jack nodded to himself, as if he made perfect sense.
She thought of their little games, their teasing. But Gavin’s lightheartedness never felt like it came at the expense of what really mattered. He was strong and steady, sheltering, protecting. “When I saw him on Sunday, he said some things about grace that made a lot of sense to me.”
She glanced up, hating to admit she was wrong. “Maybe you were a little bit right on the overcompensation. Maybe I’m trying too hard to earn forgiveness instead of just accepting my second chance. Christ gives it as a gift, and I’ve been treating it like it was bartered for my perfect behavior ever since the moment I...” She wasn’t sure what the end of the sentence was.
“Hit bottom?”
“Yup. Maybe there was some fear that God was going to get revenge, that I’d better not do anything wrong or it would be on the front page.” She shrugged, feeling the old fear slide around in her chest.
“He doesn’t work that way, thankfully.” Jack’s lips quirked up just a smidge.
Evie twiddled her pen, thinking. God wasn’t one to hold a grudge. Forgive and forget actually happened when you said you were sorry for making a mess out of your life. That was perfect love. And her job was to grab that grace with both hands and move forward. She was changed, different, but there was so much more to do. Not out of fear, but out of hope.
“I lost you for a second, there.”
Evie shook her head. “Just remembering something I have to do. Will you be free tomorrow? I need some help moving furniture into my apartment.”
“Sure. But you’ll owe me.”
“No problem. You want me to cook you dinner?”
“No. I can’t be there to help the soccer team this week. I told Gavin you’d fill in as assistant coach. You’ve been cleared through all the background checks, so you can hang out with the kids at the Mission. Jose said he’d rather not. Something about winter colds and germs and preferring to chew broken glass.”
“I don’t know anything about soccer.” Evie hated the tone of panic in her voice.
“It’s not a date. You kick the soccer ball to the kids. Just don’t dress up. It’s hot in there, gets real sweaty.” Jack got to his feet, smoothing his tie. Evie couldn’t help noticing h
ow he’d inherited all the good genes. He was tall and lean and could eat like a horse. Perfect smile, athletic grace and an extrovert to a fault. She’d hate him if he wasn’t such a good guy.
“I’m going to go see if Nancy left a message at the desk.” He was already pulling the door shut behind him, grin flashing one more time through the crack.
She groaned. Just perfect. Sweaty, dress-down time in a gym with grade-schoolers...and Gavin. That’s a nice way to erase the memory of that kiss. At least he wouldn’t be tempted to try for a repeat.
Evie struggled to focus on the papers in front of her. Every few seconds her mind drifted back to that trail behind the church. She had melted into the kiss without thinking it through. All her plans for setting things straight between them had drifted into the mist when his gaze had rested on her mouth. She’d known, in that moment, what it felt like for her heart to make decisions for her head.
Gavin was something completely unexpected, and for once she wasn’t scared out of her wits about facing the unknown. She was determined: no more slips of the heart until she managed to set everything straight between them. And that included letting him in on her ugly past.
* * *
“You’re early for soccer practice.”
Gavin turned away from the large plate-glass window, searching for the friendly voice. He adjusted his gaze downward. Some part of him was always a bit surprised to see Lana was in a wheelchair. She projected fierce capability. The purple-tipped crew cut didn’t exactly scream “softy,” either.
“There are worse places to waste a little time.”
“True, but you don’t really seem the time-wasting type.”
Gavin wanted to laugh. Lana was sharp, observant. Jack had left a message that Evie would be subbing for him today. It wouldn’t be anything close to romantic, but maybe their next date would be Echo Mountain. Playing in the snow. Hot chocolate. Maybe a little more of what happened on the trail.
“I need some tea. Would you like me to make you some?” Lana turned back toward the desk.
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