Chapter Seventeen
Gavin stood up and paced his office. He had come here to calm down, but he felt like he was going to jump out of his skin. It had been two days since he’d walked into Evie’s apartment, and the look on her face still haunted him. Grief, hurt and deep resignation.
He’d been so sure he was in the right. But when he’d called Grandma Lili to explain about the brunch, all his sureness started to unravel.
She could have been angry with Evie, shocked at hiding a lie, defensive of Allison and her grandson. But instead Grandma Lili had gently exclaimed over Evie’s past and even admired her refusal to give up.
He groaned, rubbing his eyes. It was as if she liked Evie even more, now that she knew how far she had come from the person she was once, only five years ago.
He was the same old Gavin, always doing the right thing, never tolerating any mistake. How could that be any better? His chest ached with the suspicion that he had acted unjustly, and to someone braver than he was. The idea shook him to his core. She was a woman who had the strength to walk away from wealth and fame and bitterness, a woman who devoted her time to building up instead of tearing down. He sucked in a shuddering breath, pain coursing through him. He had been so wrong, and he didn’t know how to make it right.
Grabbing his coat, he shoved his arms through the sleeves. When all else failed, there was always more work to be done. Baby Gabriel was almost ready to go home. Nothing like an infant on the mend to make him forget what a mess he’d made.
Minutes later Gavin suited up at the door of Gabriel’s hospital room. He knocked lightly and a soft answer prompted him to enter.
“Hey, it’s our superhero.” Calista cradled her newborn in one arm, a book in her other hand, and flashed a huge grin.
His shoulders slumped, but he rallied with a smile. “That’s me.” He aimed for lighthearted, but his tone was bitter even to his own ears.
“Uh-oh. Come sit. Even superheroes have bad days.” Calista patted the chair next to her.
“I came to see Gabriel. Grant said he’s doing really well.” Gavin tried to deflect Calista’s sharp gaze by flipping through the pages on the chart.
“Thanks to you and Evie.” She touched his sleeve. “Without that article I wouldn’t have known to bring him in right away.” She cleared her throat, struggling for control. “I’m sure you’ve saved more lives than my baby’s, many more.”
She went on. “If that doesn’t make you smile, there’s always the thought of the Christmas pageant. The kids are thrilled. Grant’s not too calm about it, either. He loves Christmas. We both do. It’s a special holiday for us.” She gazed down at Gabriel, a small smile touching her lips.
“So, tell me what makes a superhero look so defeated.”
Gavin lowered himself into the standard-issue hospital chair and gazed up at the tiled ceiling. “I’m an idiot,” he said simply.
To his surprise, Calista laughed, a bright sound that filled the room. “I know that look. Did Evie discover your secret identity?”
He snapped his gaze to her, shock silencing him.
She waved a hand. “How did I know it was about Evie? Easy guess. Now, you don’t have to give me any details, and I can tell you exactly how to fix whatever you’ve done.”
Resting his elbows on his knees, he shook his head. “You’re assuming it can be fixed.”
“If you’re the man I think you are, what you’ve done is probably very stupid, but not unforgivable.” Calista’s voice still held a note of mirth, but her green eyes were serious.
“So, what’s your advice?” He was sure it would never work, whatever it was.
“Grovel.”
“What?”
“I said you need to grovel. Not just apologize. Don’t send flowers. Go over there and grovel. Show her what you feel.”
Gavin stared, trying to wrap his mind around the idea of a gesture being big enough to make Evie forget his cruel words. He had misjudged her so badly, he didn’t know if there was anything that could change it. Grandma Lili said she believed in her, in a God-given purpose, but what could he say that wasn’t just parroting the words?
“Here, hold Gabriel for a second.” Calista passed him the tiny bundle, dark hair peeking from the top of the blankets. “He’ll help you sort it all out.”
Gavin snorted softly, cradling the warmth of the little boy in his arms. “He must be pretty smart already.” He could feel his muscles relaxing as he gazed into the baby’s serene countenance.
“Just try it.” She patted him on the shoulder and leaned back in her chair, eyes falling closed. “I’ll be right here if you need me. But you can’t look at that sweet face and tell me there is anything impossible with God’s help.”
His lips tugged up as he watched Gabriel sleep. Maybe she was right. Maybe life wasn’t as predictable as he thought, and love sometimes got a second chance. His heart thudded loudly in his ears. Love. He didn’t know when it had happened, couldn’t point to a moment it began, but he loved Evie. He loved her quiet strength and her tenacity that somehow translated to gentleness with every other being. He loved her ability to accept forgiveness. He loved how she grabbed for grace and held on with both hands, how she lived her life with such vibrant hope.
He wanted a life like that, not the one he had that was filled with fear and dread. Since Patrick’s death he had always prepared for every disaster and been surprised when it didn’t arrive. His hands tightened around the little baby as realization struck him. Years had gone by, full of pessimistic anxiety, and although he said he trusted God, he expected the very worst at any moment. Evie knew that true faith was hopeful.
Gavin straightened up with a deep breath. He knew what he needed to do. And it spoke louder than any apology he could ever say.
* * *
Ten feet down the sidewalk, Evie could already hear the caroling coming from the Mission. Her bright red Christmas dress and a delicately woven braid covered in crystal snowflakes announced she was ready to celebrate. The snow drifted down in lazy clumps, but the weather wasn’t bitterly cold. The lights shone through the glass front, displaying brightly colored decorations and the twinkling tree.
Jack flashed a grin and pointed to the crowd inside. “This is going to be some party. I think I see Allison and Sean already.”
She nodded, pasting on a bright smile. She hadn’t heard from Gavin since Sunday. The pain was still so fresh it took her breath away. On the outside, she was fine, maybe a little sad. On the inside, she felt as if her whole life had turned to dust.
Jack paused, his usual cheer fading away. “I wish you and Gavin could...”
“I know. Me, too.” She shrugged, hoping she looked nonchalant.
It should be clear now that Gavin had been wrong. Amy Morket quit the day after the photos came out on the gossip site. Evie had heard she’d moved to California, bragged about getting an absurd amount of money for a few pictures. She was going to join the celebrity chasers. Evie’s heart ached for the girl. She knew sometime, somehow, she was going to see her life had been wasted. And she knew just how that felt.
The first few days after Allison’s announcement, they had been overrun with photographers. Allison’s phone rang and rang, reporters and TV interviewers and even a few tabloid shows wanting to “reunite” the senator and his son. The only call that had mattered to Allison was the one from her parents. It would be rough and take time, but reconciliation was beginning between them.
“I’m just happy Allison’s getting a new start. A real one, this time.” She meant it. Nobody deserved a clean slate more than Allison and Sean.
Jack slung an arm over her shoulders and hugged her close. “I’m a big fan of new starts.”
Evie smiled, wishing there would be one for her and Gavin. But life didn’t always work that way. “Let’s head in.
We don’t want to miss the pageant.”
The lobby was filled with the sound of excited kids lining up to talk to Santa. Evie snorted as she recognized Jose behind the bushy white beard. Grant listened intently to a small boy telling what seemed to be a very long story. Lissa walked through the crowd of kids with a tray of cookies, an oversize Santa hat on her head.
“Evie!” Sean’s little voice cut through the noise. She turned just in time to feel his arms wrap around her waist. “You came.”
“Of course I did.” She laughed a little, but the truth was she really hadn’t wanted to come. If there had been any way to stay home, she would have.
Allison came toward them, dark hair curled and tied back with a green ribbon, her face alight with happiness. “There you two are.” She reached out and hugged them both, with Sean an awkward lump in the middle.
“You and Jack are coming to Grandma Lili’s for Christmas brunch tomorrow as my guests. Don’t even try to say no.”
Evie nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She couldn’t sit there, across from the man who had made her dream of a husband and marriage for the first time in her life.
“Gavin, tell them to be on time or else,” Allison said.
Evie whirled around, eyes going wide. He was achingly familiar, hair brushed back, a few waves still showing up the professional haircut. He smelled wonderful, like soap and sandalwood, and was freshly shaved. But the thing that really threw her was his tie. It was perfectly straight.
“I came to see if I could talk to you for a few minutes.” His voice was soft, as if the lobby weren’t full to bursting. Evie glanced at Allison and realized his sister was already turning away, Jack on one side, Sean on the other. Sneaky girl.
“All right.” She didn’t want to be rude. It felt like her heart had slammed shut and there was no key to unlock it.
“Do you mind if we step outside? It’s so hard to talk in here.” He looked nervous but determined.
She nodded and followed him through the glass double doors onto the sidewalk. The strains of the Christmas carols echoed faintly, and the snow fell softly from the black sky.
“Evie, what I said was wrong.” He stopped, looking at his hands.
“But you thought it. Even for a little while, you really believed it could be me.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
He nodded. “I’m sorry. And I’m asking you to forgive me. You probably feel like I never knew you at all, to even consider the possibility. I was so wrong. About a lot of things.” She didn’t want to look in his eyes but couldn’t help herself. The warmth in his gaze made her feel valued and respected. She tried to push away the overwhelming feelings and recognize the cold fact of it: he had believed the worst about her.
“When we worked on the article together, we saved lives. Gabriel’s coming home. The Mission’s Christmas party and caroling is happening, just like the kids needed. We made a difference, Evie, you and me.”
She was silent, wishing she knew what to say. Sometimes sorry wasn’t good enough.
“Since Patrick died, I’ve lived like the sky was always seconds away from falling.” He drew in a ragged breath. “I had no faith that God would care for us. It was a hopeless situation, and all I could do was fight a losing battle. You opened my eyes to how wrong it was.”
He reached in his jacket breast pocket.
“I have something for you. I hope it helps you understand how much you’ve changed my life, how much I believe in you.” It was an envelope, with a tiny bow and “Merry Christmas” written on the front.
She opened it, shooting him a curious glance. The folded paper opened up to show a flyer for a small, brick building on the northeast side, not far from downtown, right off the main boulevard.
“I saw this little place. It’s in the right area, the right size. I talked to the Realtor today and made an offer. If you’ll let me help, I want to be part of your dream for the thrift shop you wanted to open for the no-cost baby supplies.” He pulled out another sheet.
“There are so many people in my area of work who want to help but don’t really know how. I spent most of yesterday on the phone. This is a list of people who work with the county and state who said they’d be willing to lend a hand and give advice as needed, pro bono.”
“How did you know—” Evie felt her throat close up around the words she yearned to speak. Her hand was still clutching the flyer, eyes filled with tears.
“Allison told us that day Grandma Lili came to cook dinner.” His face was creased with anxiety, his eyes pleading with her. “You’re not the kind of person to prey on the vulnerable. I was so wrong to accuse you. This thrift shop is the perfect example of all the ways you try to lift others up.”
He took a breath, as if steadying himself. “I’m begging you to forgive me, Evie. I’ll never be at peace until you do.” She wanted to agree, say how it felt to have him beside her. But that’s not what he was asking. He only wanted forgiveness, which she could never deny him. Her heart had made its own decision the moment he’d asked.
She smiled, her heart in her throat. “I do forgive you.”
He nodded and took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something else.”
Her brows went up, wondering what else there could be, besides the wonderful little shop and their newfound peace.
“I love you, Evie, for a hundred different reasons.”
He loved her. Her heart began to pound so hard she could barely hear him.
“You’re brave and smart and gentle and always root for the underdog. You’ve grown past a huge mistake. You showed me what real hope means.”
Snow drifted around them, but she didn’t feel the cold. He paused, eyes bright with deep emotion. “Do you think, Evie, that if we both kept our focus on our God-given purpose, that we could find happiness together? That would be the only way because, you and me, we’re bound to get into all sorts of trouble.”
His brown eyes were crinkled in laughter, and she felt a giggle rising up in her throat. What a time to be laughing, but she knew exactly what he meant. Loads and heaps of trouble were in their future. Two stubborn, intelligent people who thought they knew it all. What a recipe for disaster.
“Yes, Gavin.” In the end, she settled for showing him what she felt because getting words past the ache in her throat was too much. The flyer crumpled against his chest as she put all of the love and gratitude she felt into her kiss.
She never wanted to move, to let him go an inch away from her. She felt the world shrinking to the space of two people gloriously in love.
His hand was warm in hers, and she gripped it tightly, letting her heart feel hope for the first time in a long while. She was laughing in earnest now, not quite believing that they were getting yet another chance.
He was pulling her close, arms wrapped around her waist. Evie let herself fall into his kiss in a way she never had before, with complete trust and abandon. No fear, only hope.
“Evie? Didn’t my mom tell you guys to stop that?” A small voice sounded right near her elbow, and she looked down into the face of Gavin’s godson.
“Sean!” Allison’s horrified voice came from the doorway.
“I thought you were waiting to talk to Santa.” Gavin’s face was serious, but his voice was full of laughter. He pulled away from her, eyes bright with happiness.
“My mom had to go to the bathroom. She said to stand in line and not come out here.” He stated it as naturally as if he had actually obeyed his mother, not the other way around.
Allison’s face flushed deep pink. “Sorry you guys.” She grabbed Sean’s hand and started tugging him back to the party.
“You don’t have to leave.” Gavin looked up at Evie and she nodded. She felt herself glowing with pure happiness. “We’ve worked it out.”
Allison burst into tears and ran to
hug them both, shoulders shaking with sobs, her green ribbon squashed against Gavin’s jacket.
“Whoa! Overreaction,” Gavin said, laughing.
“No...I’m just so happy. I couldn’t stand two of my favorite people not speaking.” She stood back, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
Sean cocked his blond head. “Does this mean you’re going to be kissing more?”
“Come on, buddy. Let’s get back inside.” Allison grabbed Sean’s hand and walked him to the Mission doors. “You guys have exactly five minutes. You don’t want to miss the pageant.”
Evie felt her face go hot, and Gavin chuckled in her ear, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine.
“One thing, Evie...” His arms were strong around her and she leaned into him, inhaling the familiar scent of him. “Can you put some airbags in that old car? The worry is just about killing me.”
Laughter bubbled up from inside and she nodded. Some things wouldn’t change, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Her heart felt as if it was unfolding, second by second. She was so thankful, so amazingly grateful for second chances. And thirds. And fourths.
Evie looked up into his face, laying a hand on his cheek, feeling as if it all wasn’t quite real. His lips moved, whispering words she couldn’t quite catch over the sound of the party and the beat of her heart. But she knew what he’d said, felt it deep in her bones.
His words were just a reassurance, an echo of the faith he’d shown in her. She stretched up on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“I love you, Gavin.” The words came from that unfolding place inside and came out sounding like a breath of pure hope.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from TAIL OF TWO HEARTS by Charlotte Carter.
Dear Reader,
The idea for Evie’s story came to me in early spring about two years ago. A close friend had just explained why she didn’t read any news articles about celebrities. She didn’t want to be part of the culture of gossip. Well, I sure wasn’t a gossip in person, but I did click those fun links to see what famous people were doing, good and bad. I’d never considered that I might be fueling our country’s thirst for tabloid articles. What an eye-opener!
Season of Hope Page 19