by Jamie Pope
His family was on board, which somehow put more pressure on him. He really couldn’t allow this marriage to fail now.
Chapter 8
Three weeks had gone by since Elias broke the news to his family. Outwardly they had been much more supportive than Cricket’s mother. Ava and Virginia had stopped by a few times to invite Cricket along for shopping and out to lunch. They were making an effort to include her in the family. It was unexpectedly kind. Their unfaltering excitement about having a new sister seemed genuine. Cricket, who was an only child and had never had many friends, felt warmed by it. But in the back of her mind, she wondered how they truly felt.
Didn’t they think it was too soon? That she and Elias couldn’t possibly be in love after such a short period of time? That they were bringing a baby into this world and they were still practically strangers?
Those thoughts had to be going through their minds, because they were still going through Cricket’s. But neither one of them showed any signs of doubt, because she knew Elias had sold their marriage to them as uncontrollable love, that they couldn’t be apart and that their baby was just a happy bonus. Ava told her that she had never heard her brother say anything so beautiful before as when he spoke about her.
But Cricket didn’t feel any closer to her husband. They made love every night, more than once. She wanted to be near him. She wanted to touch him. She wanted to look at his handsome face all day, but she kept herself away. She claimed she had to work on her book, which she did, but she wasn’t getting very far. She couldn’t concentrate on what was going on in pockets of the world thousands of miles away when she didn’t know how to handle what was going on in her own home.
She didn’t want Elias to think she was clingy. That she had gotten pregnant to trap him. She didn’t want anyone to think that, but she was a trained medical professional. She knew the side effects of the medications she was taking. She should have known not to have sex with him without more protection. But she’d never thought he would walk into her world. She’d never thought he would want to marry her. And if she had to do it all over again, she knew she wouldn’t change a thing. She wanted this baby. Even though she knew what she was up against. Even though she was sure her relationship with her mother was never going to be the same.
“Hey.” Elias came into her office and lay on the couch adjacent to her desk.
“Hey.” She spun around in her chair. He rarely came to see her during the day. She knew he was bored here, but she didn’t know how to remedy it. She was afraid the only thing that would satisfy him was going back to work as a surgeon.
She remembered how restless and irritable her mother had been when she was out after a knee replacement. She could only imagine how restless Elias was. He was in his prime. He loved to work. Finding ways to fill his time was hard for him.
“Can I come sit next to you?” she asked him, wishing she could be easier around him.
“You can always sit next to me.” He sat up, making space for her on the couch. He took her hand when she sat. He locked his fingers with hers, and she felt like she did when she was still a girl, when that first boy made her feel special. “How’s the book coming?”
“Not great. I’m a little preoccupied.” She touched her belly, which was starting to round ever so slightly.
“Yeah.” He covered her hand with his own. “I know what you mean. Have you spoken to your mother yet?”
“No. She texted me last week to ask me about a book, but nothing else.”
“Did you really try to buy a car for some guy?”
She’d been wondering when he was going to ask her about that. She was still embarrassed by it. She was supposed to be so intelligent, but she was human and sometimes she did foolish things. “I did. After I bought him sneakers, a leather jacket and basketball tickets.”
“Cricket,” he groaned. “I don’t want to believe that.”
“Believe it.” She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it. “You need a car? How about diamond cuff links. A gold scalpel? I’m your girl.”
“Why did you do it?”
“I thought I loved him. I wanted to make him happy.”
“You’re enough,” he said quietly.
But am I enough for you? she wanted to ask, but forced herself not to. “I grew up a little bit in a bubble. I didn’t go to high school. My parents hired private tutors to educate me when they thought that traditional schools weren’t enough. I went to college at sixteen. I was a pudgy, awkward, insecure wreck, and I was also an heiress and everyone knew it. Then Mike came along, and he was sweet to me. I was so unpopular in school, so unliked, so alone that when someone was nice to me, I jumped on it. I wanted to keep that feeling, and I gave up a little bit of myself to do so. In the back of my head I knew he was using me, but I refused to acknowledge it. It hurts to think about it, to know that I let myself be used. But it’s part of my history. It has made me who I am today.”
“It’s also made you isolate yourself from people. People that would love you just because you are you. My sisters really love you.”
She was surprised by his last statement. “What?”
“They want to be your friend. They want to be a big part of our lives. They want you to call them.”
“Did I do something to offend them? I didn’t mean to. I’ll call them to apologize.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, but they are your family now. You can trust them. They wouldn’t make an effort unless they wanted to know you.”
“They love you. They’ll accept me because they love you. Because they are nice people.”
“Don’t keep yourself away because you’re afraid of what others might think. Don’t be afraid that they don’t like you.”
“It’s not just anyone. I don’t care about what strangers think. I care what you think. I care about what your family thinks. We both know that if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, we never would have seen each other again. What does that say about us?”
“Who cares what it says about us? You are pregnant, and I choose to spend the rest of my life with you. And I want you to stop being so damn shy around me. I’m not just some guy who got you pregnant. I’m your husband now. And I don’t want us to walk around here like we’re some damn polite strangers.”
“You’re unhappy. I knew you were.”
“You’re unhappy,” he countered.
“I’m not! I get nervous around you. I don’t know how to behave.”
“Be yourself! We spent an entire week together just three days after meeting. I couldn’t leave you. I wanted to be around you. I still want to be around you. I married you. I just don’t want you to be my wife only at night. Or when we’re in public.”
“Then stop treating me like I’m fragile!”
“I don’t treat you like you’re fragile.”
“You do! You’re so gentle with me when we’re in bed at night, and you’ll only make love to me in bed.”
“You don’t like the way I make love to you?”
“No, I don’t like it. I love it. I want more of you, and I don’t want you to hold back anymore. It makes me feel like you’re bored with me.”
“Bored with you?” He turned and grabbed her shoulders. “Are you insane? I want you every moment of the day. But you’re pregnant and my wife, and I can’t go around taking you against walls and doors and on the kitchen floor.”
“Who says?”
He was quiet for a long time. “No one says.”
“We’re going to be parents in less than seven months. We probably won’t be able to be together like that when the baby comes. But we have right now, and we should take full advantage of it.”
“You’re right.” He stood up and took her hand. “Come with me.”
“Are you going to take me to bed?”
“
Nope. The sunroom.”
“But there’s so many windows in there.”
“I know.” He grinned at her and led her away.
* * *
Elias glanced over to Cricket, who was lying on a blanket in the sand in front of their house. She was wearing a bikini and starting to show, her belly round and adorable. Her body was changing—her hips were spreading, her breasts growing larger—and as the days passed, his attraction to her also grew. It was a life that they’d created growing inside her, and every time he thought about it, it filled him with pride.
He couldn’t resist touching her, and he leaned over and sprinkled kisses on her belly. She grinned and ran her fingers through his curls. Things had gotten a little easier between them in the past couple of weeks. They spent a lot of time together. They had dinner with his siblings at least once a week. They made love whenever the mood struck them, but there was still something there between them that he couldn’t identify. A wall that was too high for him to jump over. She was still holding herself back from him.
She didn’t trust him. Not to hurt her. Not to turn on her. Not to let her down like so many people had before.
He realized how hard it must have been for her growing up the genius daughter of a billionaire and a trailblazer. There was no one like her in her town. No one she could relate to. No one to be kind to her.
She was expecting him to turn into all those people who had let her down before. And maybe he couldn’t blame her for being worried about it. If she hadn’t gotten pregnant, he wouldn’t have seen her again. He would have walked away, gone on with his life. But he knew now that he never would have completely forgotten about her. He would have wondered what had happened. It probably would have been one of the few things in his life that he had regretted.
So why hadn’t he gone after her? What held him back?
No one had ever made him feel the way she did. No one had given him such a rush.
Maybe she had every right not to trust him. He couldn’t even trust his own feelings for her. And maybe he had every right to hold a little bit of himself back from her, too. Because as much as he wanted to be with her, he didn’t share everything with her. If there was a wall between them, she wasn’t the only one who had built it.
He had prided himself on being an open man, but there were certain things he couldn’t bring himself to tell her. Like how uncomfortable he was not contributing to the household. The house was paid for, she assured him, the bills automatically deducted from her account. There was no need to change it. She had gone as far as trying to give him half the money for their groceries, but he refused it. He felt like a guest there. Like they were roommates instead of husband and wife. It was her house. Her things. But she was his wife and carrying his child. And he wanted to be a husband and father just like his own father had been. He wanted to take care of his family. But if there was one thing he knew about Cricket, it was that she sure as hell didn’t need him.
He wasn’t sure what to do about it. He wanted her to be happy here in her beautiful home, especially while she was growing their baby. It might not have made such a difference to him if he were back to work, but he wasn’t and he had time to think. And thinking wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
“Are you really sure you want to go through with this tonight?” Cricket asked him as he rested his head on her belly.
“Making love to you? You already know the answer to that.”
“I’m talking about having my parents over for dinner, you knucklehead.” She smiled softly at him.
“Yes, I’m sure. Mostly to show your mother that you haven’t bought me a Mercedes.”
“You won’t let me buy you anything,” she pointed out. “Not even ice cream.”
“Nope.” He wouldn’t let her spend a dime when they went out.
“But you bought me a locket.” She touched the heart-shaped pendant that rested between her breasts. There was one diamond chip in it to represent their firstborn. She’d cried when he gave it to her. “And my beautiful ring. And those slippers when my feet started to swell in the supermarket the other day.”
“I wish I could do more,” he said, wanting to say more to her.
She was quiet for a long moment, and he wished he could read the expression on her face, but he was unable to. “You don’t have to do anything for me.”
“I do. You’re going to be giving me the biggest and best present that I will ever have.”
She cupped his face and pulled him up so that their lips connected. “You are so incredibly sweet sometimes that I don’t know how to handle it.”
He knew that she didn’t know how to be in an intimate relationship like this. She’d claimed her last boyfriend—whom she’d wanted to marry—was sweet to her, but he wasn’t so sure of that. The man sounded more interested in his academic endeavors than he did her.
It was no wonder she didn’t realize how desirable she was.
“I have to go inside and start getting dinner ready.”
“Stay here.” She stroked his cheek with her thumb. “You don’t have to cook. We can take my parents out for dinner.”
“No. We’re entertaining like grown-ups.” He sat up and tugged on her hand until she was sitting up. “Come help me cook.”
“I might burn the place down.”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to take. Come inside with me,” he urged, not wanting to be away from her just yet.
Cricket stayed with him in the kitchen, watching him cook at first, asking him dozens of questions. It was why she was so smart. Her unfailing curiosity was why she kept learning. Elias admired that about her. But he wasn’t content to have her just sit there and observe him. He wanted her participation. He set her to work, chopping and stirring while he made garlic-and-herb-stuffed pork chops with roasted potatoes and string beans. He knew it would take her mind off her anxiousness. All day he had been trying to keep her calm. She still wasn’t on good terms with her mother. He hated that and felt like it was his fault, even though he knew it wasn’t.
He was determined to make this evening pleasant for them, to prove to his mother-in-law that he was a good husband for her daughter. He also needed to show her that he was ready to take over as head of trauma when the doctor who was currently in that position retired.
His work was never far from his mind. After Cricket, his desire to return to surgery ruled most of his thoughts. His mother-in-law held his career in her hands and he hated that, but he knew he would have to play by her rules if he wanted to win in the end.
The doorbell rang, and together Cricket and Elias answered it, presenting a united front. Her father, Jerome, greeted them genuinely and warmly. Dr. Lundy was polite but cool as she greeted him and gave her daughter a stiff hug, before she released her and studied her appearance.
“You’re starting to show, dear.”
“I am.” Cricket rubbed her hand over her small belly.
“Can I offer you something to drink? We have pinot noir and riesling,” Elias said to them.
“We made appetizers, too. Crostini and jumbo shrimp.”
“Did you have this catered? We could have gone out,” Dr. Lundy said with a small shake of her head.
“Elias made everything,” Cricket told her.
“Cricket helped.”
“You can cook?” Dr. Lundy walked toward the side table where they had laid everything out and carefully studied it.
“You know I’m good with a knife,” Elias replied. “And I have to be the one who cooks in this marriage. We would be living off cheese and crackers if I didn’t.”
“I don’t cook, either, Bug,” Dr. Lundy said, looking at her daughter with affection. “My work was more important.”
“Yes, for you it was,” Cricket said softly. Dr. Lundy raised a brow in surprise. There were other issues be
tween the two, but right now wasn’t the time for them to hash it out.
Elias ushered them all out to the patio that overlooked the ocean. There was a breeze blowing, the air smelled sweet, the sun was just going down. Hideaway Island was truly one of the most beautiful places on earth.
Jerome and Elias did their best to keep the conversation flowing, but it was tough. Cricket was mostly quiet, and Dr. Lundy only interjected when she deemed what they were saying important enough to respond to. It was very different from Elias’s family dinners, where everyone laughed and spoke over one another. There was a warmth in the air that was hard to describe.
Had all of Cricket’s family dinners been this way—just her and her parents and some stilted conversation? The current tension could have been all Elias’s fault, but for some reason, he felt that there was something even deeper going on here.
“What are you working on now?” Dr. Lundy asked her daughter, apparently having had enough of the men taking charge of the conversation.
“I’m still sorting through my research for my next book. I’m due to go back overseas in a couple of weeks to do a little more research and speak to some colleagues who are still conducting a study there.”
“What?” Elias focused on Cricket. “You’re not going back, right? You’ve arranged for someone else to do your part.”
“No. Of course I’m going back. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because you’re almost in your second trimester, and flying to an impoverished, politically unstable, disease-infested part of the world is not a great idea.”
“But I made a commitment to speak. My research helps the medical professionals treat those people. It’s important.”
“Our baby is more important than your research.”
Cricket stiffened. “Are you suggesting that I don’t know that?”
“I’m not sure what you know. You didn’t seem to know that it was the decent thing to inform your husband that you were flying out of the country. You didn’t seem to know that something like that would bother me.”