Gramps must’ve seen him looking “You know, finding a good woman is one of the joys of life.”
“Yeah. I see how it worked out for you.”
Gramps leaned back in his chair. “Things didn’t work out so good for me, but look what it got me.” He gestured to Cash. “I have three fine grandsons. A man can’t complain about that. Even though I do have some regrets about my relationship with your grandma, I did end up gaining a lot.”
Sure, that was easy for Gramps to say now that he was decades beyond his heartache. He knew it had about killed Gramps at the time and Cash wasn’t about to set himself up for the same thing.
He wasn’t going to end up an old man in a retirement home with a picture of his wife who’d run off on him on the table and her engagement ring in a velvet box stashed in the drawer underneath.
Cash glanced at the drawer. He knew the ring was in there, and he’d seen Gramps take it out a few times and lovingly caress the box. Cash had no intention of having those kinds of wistful memories.
“Anyway, I won’t harp on you, boy, but you’re getting on in years, and if you want to have children, you better start thinking about finding that special lady. Ain’t nothing better than the love of a good woman, ‘cept maybe the trust of a true friendship.”
“Sure, Gramps. I know. I’m just waiting for the right one.” He said it to appease his grandfather, but Cash knew he’d already found the right one. And he had no intention of letting her slip away. But no matter how much her kiss had affected him, they would never be more than friends. And as Gramps had just said, he couldn’t risk losing the trust of a good friendship. That was more precious than anything.
9
It was well after the lunchtime rush by the time Tessa got to The Chuckwagon. The restaurant was nearly empty, with just two tables occupied. The servers were busy cleaning up the tables and straightening out for the dinner crowd.
Tessa came through the doors, pushing her sunglasses up on her head. Beulah stood behind the hostess station. “Hey, kiddo, how’s it going?”
“Great. I came by to pick up some of Nick and Sam’s famous chili.”
Beulah’s eyes lit up. “It’s been a big hit since they combined their recipes. I don’t think there’s a better chili in Montana.”
Beulah beamed with pride. Nick and Sam had been competitors in the Sweetrock chili contest earlier that summer. In fact, that was how they had met. Then once they’d hooked up and Sam had started working at The Chuckwagon, they’d combined their popular recipes into one great-tasting chili.
Sam pushed out of the kitchen with a white take-out bag in her hand.
“Hey, there. How are you doing today?” Sam handed over the bag and narrowed her eyes at Tessa.
Tessa flushed with embarrassment. Sam had seen her throwing herself at that jerk, John. She opened the bag to peek in, unable to look Sam in the eye as she spoke. “Pretty good. I may have had a little bit too much to drink last night.”
“How did things turn out with that guy? I heard something about Cash having to tell him to back off,” Sam said.
Tessa rolled her eyes and plopped down into a chair at a nearby table. “That guy turned out to be a real jerk. I sure know how to pick ‘em.”
Sam pulled out a chair and sat down beside her. “Now, that’s not true. You’ve had a few nice guys in the past. You just didn’t stick with them.”
“I suppose.” She had dated a few nice guys, but she’d always broken it off when they tried to get too serious. But it was only because she hadn’t felt that spark. Not even a flicker. Not like she had with Derek. But she wasn’t about to say that to Sam. Sam would admonish her for pining after Derek.
She wasn’t actually doing that, was she?
“I don’t know. That guy was cute, but I didn’t even see the signs that he was just after one thing. I don’t feel like I can just trust my judgment when it comes to guys now,” Tessa said.
“Well, lucky thing Cash had your back, then,” Sam said.
“Yep. At least he’s one guy I can trust.” Tessa’s heart fluttered with mortification at the way Cash had had to get her out of the situation. Images of their kiss surfaced and she squirmed in her chair, her cheeks burning.
“Yep. He’s a good friend. You’re lucky to have all your friends here. Now I know why all you wanted to do was come back here after college,” Sam said. “I lucked out coming here myself and finding Nick and getting accepted into such a great group of people. There may be a good guy for you closer than you think,” Sam said casually, rearranging the place setting in front of her.
What did that mean? Did Sam know about the kiss? Tessa slid her eyes over to her friend. Cash and Nick were best buddies, and she knew how guys liked to brag about that stuff to each other.
Had Cash told Nick? She was sure they would’ve talked by now. She wanted to crawl under the table. How embarrassing would it be if all her friends found out she’d thrown herself at Cash like that? She could never look him in the eye again.
“What do you mean?” Tessa asked cautiously.
“Oh, nothing. Just that you never know when the right guy might pop up. Look at Nick and me. Started off at odds with each other and now…” Sam had a spark in her eye that Tessa knew had a lot to do with Nick. A pang of envy gnawed at her. Even though she was happy for her friend, she doubted she’d have that spark in her eye anytime soon. If ever.
But she could tell by the dreamy look on Sam’s face and the casual way she was acting she had no idea about the kiss. If Sam had even an inkling, she’d be pumping Tessa for information. Which was good. She wanted to keep it that way and apparently Cash did, too.
He wasn’t the kind of guy that would kiss and tell, anyway. Tessa wondered why she’d doubted that in the first place. She knew she could trust him. Besides, he was probably just as embarrassed about it as she was.
“Well, if you ask me, you gotta confront your past problems to move forward.” Beulah had appeared and was standing at the table with her hands on her hips, peering over the tops of blue rhinestone half-moon glasses at Tessa.
“What do you mean?” Tessa asked.
“You got unresolved issues. You need to confront them. Otherwise, you’re going to be looking over your shoulder and seeing things where they ain’t.” Beulah illustrated by looking over her shoulder and making a face.
Rena came out of the kitchen with a tray of folded linen napkins, spotted them and veered in their direction.
“Hey, Rena, don’t you agree Tessa needs to face her fears from the past?” Beulah asked.
Rena scrunched up her face. “Probably. What are you guys talking about?”
Did everyone in town need to talk about her bad decisions? “Nothing. It’s not that big of a deal. I don’t think we need to keep rehashing my poor judgment.”
“Oh, that guy last night.” Rena nodded. “Yeah I heard about him. He’s bad news, you know.”
Jesus, had everyone known about the guy except her?
“Anyway,” Beulah continued, “Tessa’s still hung up on this Derek guy. She’s clearly got unresolved issues with him, so I think she needs to have it out with the guy.” Beulah turned to Tessa, who blanched. “You never really had closure on that relationship, did you?”
Tessa sighed. “I had no clue the guy had been cheating. I was away at college. One day I called his cell phone, and some girl answered and announced they were having a baby.”
Sam put her hand over Tessa’s. “I remember. That was a crappy thing for him to do. He should’ve at least manned up and told you in person.”
Tessa snorted. “I don’t think he was going to tell me at all! Seemed like he was just going to string both of us along. But the other girlfriend must have told him she talked to me. She must have realized I was ‘the other woman’ or maybe she knew about me before. He texted the breakup to me, and I never actually even talked to him face to face. I was broken-hearted. And pissed.”
“And well you should have been,” Beulah
said. “You know, I’m glad they didn’t have these newfangled phones in my day. Any man that would text a breakup to me would have another thing coming.”
Tessa couldn’t help but smile. She felt bad for any guy that would try to text-breakup with Beulah.
“Beulah might be on to something. Maybe you do need to resolve this, Tessa. If you keep repeating the same pattern of picking jerks, then it could indicate underlying unresolved issues.” Rena leaned forward and lowered her voice. “After I finally got away from my ex-husband, I had to have a lot of therapy, and that’s what they told me. You need to finally have it out with Derek before you can move on and get the guy you deserve.”
Tessa tapped her finger on the table as she considered Rena’s words. Have it out with Derek? When he’d texted the breakup to her, she’d been pretty mad. She’d gone through a stage of throwing things. Then a stage of crying. Then she’d lost herself in drinking. Sam had helped pull her out.
She’d been away at college and Derek had been here in Sweetrock. She’d been furious not to have someone to vent her anger at. But now it was years later. She wasn’t that angry anymore.
But she’d always had that nagging feeling of unfinished business when it came to Derek. Maybe that really was what was holding her back. Would it help to talk to Derek in person after all these years?
“I don’t know. That may be, but how could I even talk to Derek? He moved away four years ago, and I don’t even know where he lives.”
“See that, Missy?” Beulah waggled her finger in Tessa’s face. “That there is just an excuse. I say you get up the gumption, you find out where he lives, and then you go and talk to him and put that nasty business behind you so you can look to the future.”
The restaurant door opened and an older couple stepped inside. Beulah pinned Tessa with a look that made her squirm in her seat and then she rushed to the podium to charm the couple.
Tessa took that as her cue to leave. She picked up the chili, bid Sam and Rena good-bye and headed out the door with Beulah’s words echoing in the back of her mind.
When Cash got to the Riley ranch that night, Tessa had already set the table—the one in the dining room this time, not the breakfast bar. Apparently, she’d also picked up cornbread and had little squares set out in a basket next to a serving bowl loaded with chili and just waiting to heat in the microwave.
“That looks delicious.” Cash leaned over her shoulder to sniff at the bowl, the zing of hot peppers tickling his nose. Just the right amount of spiciness. His chest brushed her shoulder and he felt her stiffen.
Shoot. To close for comfort.
The nearness of her set off alarms in his body and he backed up quickly. He didn’t need a repeat of last night.
“I’ll help set the table,” he stuttered, grabbing some napkins and retreating to the dining room.
Tessa brought in the steaming chili and ladled it out into their bowls. They set about eating quietly, Cash focusing on buttering up his cornbread, the smooth sweet taste of the bread made a perfect complement to the spicy chili. In between bites he snuck glances at Tessa, catching her eye a few times.
Was she looking at him, too? Probably sizing him up and wondering if he was going to force a kiss on her again. He hoped she wasn’t worried about that. He would hate their friendship to be ruined by her having to be constantly on her guard.
He marveled at how easy their companionable silence was. Living at the Riley house hadn’t been as hard as he thought it would be and it had shown him something. It had shown him what it was like to wake up with someone every morning, to eat breakfast with them and have someone at home at night. He liked that feeling.
He wondered what it would be like to eat supper with Tessa every night. To kiss her every night.
Don’t go there.
But he’d already gone there, and now he was worried that he might not be able to get that same feeling with anyone else. And last night when they’d kissed, he’d felt the way she’d responded. Cash was no angel, and he knew how to interpret a woman’s signals. Heck, she’d been the one that had initiated it. Was there a chance that she wanted to be more than friends, too?
They only had a few more days before the wood floor refinishing would be done. Then they’d go back to their own separate homes. No more waking up to breakfast together. No more suppers at night. Then what would happen? Would they just go back to the same level of friendship they’d had before, never to explore what might be?
Should he try to take it to the next level? If he did, he’d risk losing her forever and hadn’t Gramps said a true friendship was better than the love of a good woman anyway?
He didn’t want to end up an old man with a sea of regrets like his grandpa. Better for him to stop thinking about that searing kiss. For him to stop remembering how his heart had flipped inside out at the touch of her. How she’d awakened a passion in him that he didn’t know he had. Better to just start getting on with the business of being friends, because that’s all they could ever be.
Cash looked up from his bowl. “Henrietta’s eggs are ready to go to the school tomorrow. Do you want to come with me? I have to be there at eight, so we’d need to get up early to pack up the eggs and the box.”
He knew Tessa had the morning off. She loved animals as much as he did and it would be a fun thing they could do together. As friends.
Her genuine smile fluttered his heart. “I’d love to. I always loved having the chicks in when we were in Kindergarten. Do you remember?”
Cash remembered. His grandpa used to bring them right from his farm. Memories of simpler times when he and Tessa were just kids flooded his heart. Back then, they’d just enjoyed each other’s company without any pesky romance or physical attraction to crop up between them. What he would give to have those days back.
He probably could have them back, too. If he would just stop thinking about that damn kiss.
They finished the meal and took their plates into the kitchen, cleaning up and doing the dishes in the synchronized rhythm that they’d worked out over the past two days.
When they were done, Tessa stretched and looked at the clock. “I should head off to bed now if we’re going to get up early. We probably need to leave around seven, right?”
“Yep. Maybe a little earlier, just to be sure.”
They stood in the hallway, Cash’s room to the right and hers to the left. She hesitated for a second and then turned to walk away. Cash did the same—resisting the urge to run and lock himself in the room away from the temptation of her.
When he was halfway to the living room, he heard her small voice behind him.
“Cash?”
He turned, his heart stuttering in his chest. She looked so sweet, standing there with a mixture of hope and uncertainty on her face. “Yeah?”
“I just wanted to say thanks for being such a good friend,” she said.
Right. Friends. That’s what they were just friends. “I’ll always be your friend. You can count on that.”
She smiled. “I really mean it. It’s great to have friends you can trust and count on. Best friends, right?”
“Of course. We shook on it, remember?”
She nodded. “Right. Best friends. Forever.”
Her face broke into a smile and then she turned and disappeared into her room, leaving Cash standing in the hallway. A stab of longing for something he could never have swept through him. Their childhood pact and the handshake might have been silly, but his word meant everything to him. Even if it meant they would never be anything more than best friends.
10
The next morning, Tessa woke to discover that Cash had breakfast ready as usual. They were settling into a nice, comfortable routine that was a lot better than living alone. The morning breakfast sure beat eating corn flakes. But the fluttery feeling she got when she was around Cash now set her on edge. She didn't know how to interpret it.
Did the flutter have something to do with the kiss?
Cash had
made it clear that the kiss was a mistake. Not in just his words, but with his actions, too. The fluttery feeling was probably just due to the comfort of having someone around to share things with. It felt good. Familiar.
Once the floors are refinished, I'll move back to my place and be all alone again.
Unless she was able to get past her hang-ups and find a guy she could trust. Maybe Beulah was right. Maybe she should look up Derek and pay him a visit. But could her heart take that? She wasn't in love with Derek anymore, but why hadn't she been able to feel that same raw emotion with anyone else?
Her thoughts drifted to the kiss again. She had felt something with Cash. Something more than with any other guy. But that was crazy—Cash was her longtime friend. Her feelings probably had more to do with what had happened prior. The way John's flirting had become more insistent and how Cash had shown up exactly when she'd needed him. Not to mention the drinks she'd had.
Better not to think that way about Cash, anyway. They were only friends. He'd said as much just last night. And friends didn't get physically involved with each other.
They drove over to the Campbell ranch in Cash's Jeep. They'd go together to the school and then he'd drop her off at her truck after they delivered the baby chicks to the school.
Before collecting the eggs from Henrietta, Tessa ran into the barn to say hello to the horses. The Riley ranch wasn't a working ranch. They didn't have any horses. Her parents had gotten rid of them long ago when she went to college and she missed having them around. Maybe someday she'd have her own ranch or business that allowed for horses, but for now, it was nice to know she could pop over to the Campbell’s and get her fill. She lingered in front of Stardust, savoring the memory of their ride from a few nights before.
"Maybe tonight, girl, huh? We'll beat them this time," she whispered as she stroked the soft part of the horse's nose.
Stardust whinnied and flicked her tail as if in agreement.
Too Close For Comfort (Sweetrock Cowboy Romance Book 2) Page 6