“He had plenty of chances. Why, just this morning...” Her voice trailed off. This morning he had been about to say something but then his grandfather had called and he’d gotten distracted. Had he been about to say something about still seeing each other after they moved back to their own places? If he had, she’d been the one to cut him off, pushing him out the door before he could continue the conversation.
But she’d seen him with Melina downtown and past experience told her she shouldn’t trust a man, especially not when the evidence was right in front of her face.
“This morning what? It sounds to me like you’re jumping to conclusions.” Sam leaned back in her chair and studied Tessa. “I know how hurt you were with Derek. You’re gun shy and that’s understandable. You’re probably misinterpreting everything you see. You know how it is when you get hurt. You try to protect yourself, and you get the wrong signals. You see things that aren’t there.”
“Yeah, well I wish that was the case. But I saw it with my own two eyes.”
“Saw what?” Sam asked.
Tessa blurted the words out before she could stop them. “I saw Cash with Melina at the Planned Parenthood office downtown. I think Melina is having Cash’s baby—he cheated and got someone pregnant, just like Derek!”
“Are you joking?” Tessa spun around to the angry voice behind her. “Melina...I didn’t know you were here.”
“Yeah. I’m here, and I heard what you just said. What the heck? You think I would be fooling around with Cash? What the hell is wrong with you? He’s my friend.”
“So what’s going on? Did you guys get everything settled?” Beulah appeared at the table and Tessa felt dizzy. Her eyes still on Melina. Was Melina covering or could it be possible that Sam was right and Tessa was reading things into the situation that weren’t there?
“No, we didn’t.” Melina pulled out a chair and sat down, placing a glass full of dark liquid in front of her. She rested her elbows on the table and stared at Tessa. “What are you talking about? What is going on?”
Tessa looked at the three women uncertainly. She saw another person approaching the table behind Beulah. Rena.
Jeez, was the whole town going to come to the table and watch her make a fool out of herself? But Tessa had known what she’d seen with her own eyes. So she wouldn’t be the fool because she was right, wasn’t she?
She turned to Melina. “I saw you with Cash downtown at the Planned Parenthood office.”
Melina looked down at her drink, picked it up and swirled it around, letting the ice cubes clink against the sides while she stared into it thoughtfully. Then she took a big swig, put the glass back down loudly. “That’s right. You did see me, but it’s not what you think.”
Rena had arrived at the table and was now looking at them curiously. “What’s going on?”
“You might as well have a seat and watch the show.” Tessa gestured to the empty chair.
Rena sat down, her eyes darting from Beulah to Melina to Sam, then coming to rest on Tessa. “Is something wrong?”
“Tessa thinks I’m having Cash’s baby.” Melina laughed and Tessa straightened in her seat. If there was something funny, she sure as hell didn’t see it.
“What? Why would she think that?” Rena asked then turned to Melina. “Are you? I thought Tessa was the one that had something going on with Cash.”
“We all thought that,” Melina said.
They all stared at Tessa. She squirmed in her seat. Had everyone known about her and Cash this whole time? “Wait a minute. You guys knew? Who told you?”
“It’s written all over both your faces,” Rena said. “In fact, we have a bet going. Now, don’t tell me something’s gone wrong because I might lose a lot of money.”
“You? I put a hundred bucks down,” Beulah said then turned to Tessa. “Now tell us what exactly is going on here. And don’t tell me this has something to do with you not resolving issues with Derek.”
Melina sighed. “I think I can clear things up. I didn’t want anyone to know but I’ve been working with some of the underprivileged teenage moms in the area. Cash’s grandfather actually got me into it. This morning, Cash and I had to run a little errand for Gramps. That’s what we were doing down at the Planned Parenthood. It’s got nothing to do with me and Cash. We were there for one of the teen moms.”
“Oh, that’s so nice of you,” Sam said. “Why didn’t you ever tell us?
Melina shrugged. “I didn’t want you guys to think I was turning into an old softy.”
Tessa’s heart stopped. Was that true? If so, she had jumped to conclusions. Conclusions that could ruin everything she had with Cash. But that still didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t mentioned anything about what would happen after the floors were done.
Then again, who could blame him? Now that she looked back, she realized she’d been acting stand-offish because she was worried about getting hurt. Just like she’d done with all the other men she’d dated.
“But what’s this got to do with Tessa and Cash?” Rena asked.
“When I saw them together, I thought the same thing had happened that had happened with Derek.” Tessa confessed now, feeling ashamed she’d suspected Cash of that.
Rena’s face softened with sympathy and she grabbed Tessa’s hand. “Oh, I can understand how that would happen. You’re still trying to protect yourself from that same hurt. But don’t you see, you’re actually hurting yourself more.”
Tessa’s heart pinched as tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “I see that now. Now I’ve gone and ruined everything.”
“No, not yet. You still have a chance,” Beulah said. “But you gotta go deal with your issues or you really will ruin everything. You need to face Derek. And, once that’s behind you, then you need to get over to Cash’s and tell him how you really feel.”
“I don’t know. I think it’s too late. And I don’t know if I can face Derek.” Tessa felt scared, nervous. What if she confronted Derek and Cash still didn’t want her anymore?
“Oh, no you don’t.” Rena hauled her up from the chair. “You need to go and do this. If not for yourself, do it for me. Because we’re in the same boat, and I need to know that you can confront your issues and move on. Because if you can do it, then that means there’s hope for me.”
Tessa stood there uncertainly, her eyes flicking from Beulah to Sam to Melina to Rena. They were all smiling, encouraging her.
Her heart started to fill with hope. They were right. She was the one screwing things up with her own self-doubt and there was only one way to fix it.
She turned and ran out to her car, hoping to find Derek at home before she lost her nerve.
Cash slammed the Jeep into gear and peeled out of the driveway, taking all his frustrations out on the car.
Tessa was gone. She’d left without saying even one word.
He should’ve listened to Gramps. He should’ve used his head instead of his heart. If he had, then maybe he wouldn’t be swimming in a sea of regret right now just like Gramps. Well, that would teach him.
He took a deep, steadying breath. No sense in getting Gramps upset. At least he’d gotten Gloria set up at the clinic so the day wasn’t a total loss. Gramps would be happy about that, and Cash should be happy about it, too.
He drove to Golden View, not even seeing the beautiful Montana scenery that passed by. He didn’t notice the clear blue sky or the fresh breeze that filtered in his window. When he parked in the lot, he didn’t even care where he was parking. He got out and walked into the building, his heart heavy, barely managing a wave for the elderly residents he’d become so familiar with.
He took the elevator up and knocked on Gramps’ door. Gramps opened the door, took one look at him, and frowned. “What got into you, boy? You look like you lost your best friend.”
Cash didn’t want to saddle Gramps with his troubles so he faked a smile. “Nothin’, Gramps. Just had a full morning.”
The old man looked at him sideways and ushered him into the ap
artment.
“Lemonade?” Gramps opened the door to his small refrigerator then peered back over his shoulder, questioning Cash. “Beulah brought it over from The Chuckwagon.”
“Sounds good.” Cash didn’t really care about drinking lemonade but he supposed it would make things seem more normal. He proceeded to the living room and sank into his usual seat on the sectional, the familiar feeling of the buttery leather and the soft creak as he sat soothed him. It felt good to be here with Gramps. He knew Gramps was at least one person who would never let him down.
The thought twinged his heart. Had Tessa really let him down, or had it been his own unrealistic expectations? How could he have possibly expected her to go from friends to lovers that quickly? It wasn’t like she’d had those feelings buried underneath the whole time as he had, was it?
Gramps came back with two tall glasses. He handed one to Cash and he curled his palm around it, the coolness of the iced liquid squelching some of the angry disappointment that heated his veins.
Gramps leaned back in his recliner and sipped the drink, and then he made a face.
“Too much lemon in he’ya. I told her to add more sugar.” He sipped again then looked at Cash. “Too much lemon will make you pucker, but that doesn’t explain the sour look on your face, boy. Come on, now, and tell me what the problem is. Did Gloria give you trouble?”
“No, it wasn’t that. We got her down to the clinic and she agreed to counseling.”
Gramps nodded. “Good. And Gordy? How is the little tike?”
Cash’s lips tugged in a smile. “He was good. We dropped him off at school first, and then took Gloria to the clinic.”
“And Mel?” Cash’s heart tugged that Gramps was just as concerned about Mel’s problems as Nick, Cash, and the others were.
Cash shrugged. “She’s doing okay. Still has her ups and downs.”
“It’s understandable with Ida and Morry gone now. They were her anchor. Especially since her folks died so young. It ain’t easy for kids to be raised by their grandparents. And with Harley overseas...” Gramps’ voice trailed off and he took another sip. “Well, we’re doing everything we can for her.”
Gramps put his glass of lemonade down and leaned forward in the chair, his gnarled, weathered hands clasped between his knees, and his keen eyes studying Cash. Cash never could fool Gramps for long, and he knew it was just a matter of time before his grandfather got the truth out of him.
“So, you gonna tell me what’s really bothering you?”
Cash’s eyes flicked to the photo of his grandfather and grandmother. He’d never met her. Didn’t know what she’d been like or how much Gramps had loved her. But he could imagine how much it had hurt when she’d left. He was feeling that same pain now. It must have shown on his face.
“Women trouble?” Gramps guessed.
“Sort of.”
Gramps leaned back in his chair, his hawk-like eyes trained on Cash. “Must be one heck of a filly. Never seen you this twisted up about one.”
Cash looked down into his lemonade and swirled the glass. “Doesn’t matter. It’s over with.”
Gramps narrowed his eyes. “Over with? What do you mean? Doesn’t sound like you to give up, and from the look on your face it’s far from over with.”
“It’s not so much giving up as letting go. I probably should’ve never pursued it in the first place.” His eyes flicked to the picture of his grandparents again. “If I’d learned from you, I wouldn’t have the same regrets you have.”
Gramps look at the picture, his eyes softening. “Yep. I’ve got plenty of regrets,” he said softly.
Cash chugged the rest of his lemonade. “Right. I should’ve listened. Should’ve never gotten involved with a good friend.”
Gramps chuckled. “I figured it was Tessa.”
Cash simply nodded.
“But why do you say you should have never gotten involved? I don’t understand that at all because clearly the two of you are made for each other.”
Cash looked up from his study of the ice cubes in his glass. “Not so. Just like Grandma left you, now Tessa’s left me.”
Gramps forehead creased. “Really? And you’re just gonna let her?”
Cash shrugged one shoulder. “Sure. What else can I do?”
“When did you get to be so wimpy? You said you didn’t want to have the same regrets I did, but here you are, sitting chewing your cud and not doing a damn thing about it.”
Cash was confused. “What do you mean? You regretted getting involved with grandma and now I’ve gone and done the same thing. Gotten involved.”
“You think that’s what I regretted? Getting involved?” Gramps looked at the picture while his fingertips brushed the brass handle on the drawer underneath. “That’s not what I have regrets about. I regret that I never went after her.”
Gramps’ words sunk in as Cash watched him slowly pull the drawer open. The black velvet box sat all by itself, smack dab in the middle of the drawer. Gramps lovingly stroked the top of it. “See, I didn’t have the gumption. I thought I should let her go.” In one quick angry movement, he snatched the box out of the drawer in his fist. He leaned forward, his eyes bright, his face serious. “But I was wrong. That’s my regret. Got nothing to do with getting involved with her, it’s that I didn’t go after her and fight for her.”
Cash’s gaze flicked from Gramps’ face to his fist. Gramps had always been so soft-spoken that he’d never heard such passion in his voice. “But all this time, I thought you meant you regretted getting involved in the first place.”
“Nope.” His fist relaxed and he straightened his fingers, revealing the box sitting in the middle of his palm. “Those years with your grandma were the best I ever had, but I screwed up in not fighting for her. You don’t have to make the same mistake I did. You don’t have to have the same regrets.”
Cash stared at the little velvet box his grandfather now held out to him. Hope surged through him. He knew there was a connection between him and Tessa, and it was something better than she could ever have with Derek. Could he make her see it his way? Derek had crushed her once. Why would she want to go back to him?
He reached his hand out and touched the soft velvet box. His grandfather’s face cracked into a smile. “That’s my boy. Now, you go get that girl. You fight for her like I didn’t, and then you can live out the rest of your life without regrets.”
Cash snatched the box from his grandfather’s palm and shot up from the couch, stopping only long enough to hug the old man before racing to his Jeep.
17
The old Dobbins house had been vacant for a decade. The paint was peeling, the shutters hanging crooked and the grass overgrown. A niggle of trepidation tickled the back of Tessa’s neck as she approached the door. The broken-down appearance of the house mirrored the relationship she’d had with Derek. She just hoped she could face him without breaking down herself.
Thoughts of Cash and why she was doing this filled her with resolve, but still she hesitated. Would seeing Derek bring back a flood of bad memories? And how would that affect her?
She raised her fist and knocked on the door, the hollow sound echoing the thud of her own heart.
The door squeaked open and there was Derek. He looked older but still devastatingly handsome. The kind of handsome that makes a girl do stupid things.
He smiled, revealing perfectly straight pearly white teeth. He still had that dimple on his chin that drove women wild. But now instead of wanting to run her fingers over it, Tessa wanted to punch him in the face. His magic didn’t work on her anymore.
“Tessa, please come in.” He stood back, opening the door wider, revealing an entryway and living area in various stages of demolition. One wall had been taken down, the floor pried up in one section, and the ceiling, which look to have leaked at one time, had caved in on one corner. “Please excuse the mess. The place has been empty for a while, but it was a good deal. And since I’m in town to stay, I figured I might as we
ll renovate to my specifications.”
Tessa stepped tentatively inside. She kept close to the doorway, aiming to keep the front door open. The thought of venturing deep into Derek’s house reminded her of a fly getting caught in a spider’s web.
“I can see you’re doing a lot of work,” she said lamely, not knowing how to start the conversation or what she intended to say.
“Come on in. Can I get you something?” His eyes had a hopeful gleam...and something else. Predatory was the word Tessa would’ve used. Yes, Derek was certainly trying to trap her in his web again.
She took a step back now, hovering just at the edge of the threshold. “I can’t stay long. I just came to hash a few things out.”
“Hash out? What do you mean?”
As if he didn’t remember how they’d left things. As if he didn’t know what an asshole he’d been. Anger bubbled up inside her and she clenched her fists but kept her voice even. “We left things unfinished between us, Derek, and I came to finish them.”
He stepped closer, his fingertip tracing her jaw. “I’d like that.”
She slapped his hand away. “I didn’t mean that. I meant the way you dumped me without even saying a word. I found out from Veronica.” Tessa looked around the house, noticing no touches of a woman. Apparently, the rumors of his divorce were true. “Where is she, by the way? Did you fool around on her, too?”
Derek looked contrite, his lips pressed together. “We’re divorced.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, I know I treated you badly but I was young. You were away at college and, well...a man has his needs. Veronica was there and willing to satisfy. Unfortunately, things turned out the way they did.”
Tessa’s stomach roiled in disgust. Is that all he had to say? He was satisfying his needs? At least he married Veronica, even if they were divorced now. Veronica was much better off, but Tessa felt sorry for the child they’d conceived to be saddled with a selfish jerk for a father. She was relieved it wasn’t her that he’d gotten pregnant.
“So, you thought it was okay to cheat on me because I was away at college?” Tessa glared at him. What had she seen in him in the first place? She’d been naïve and young back then. Now that she was older, she saw through his act. He was a player, a smooth operator that would tell a girl whatever he thought she wanted to hear.
Too Close For Comfort (Sweetrock Cowboy Romance Book 2) Page 11