Always a Kicker

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by Jeff Zwagerman


  Frisco, Colorado-Saturday, September 14, 1985

  Zander woke up late on Saturday. He had trouble sleeping and when he did finally fall asleep he could only dream of the woman he thought was Sara Jane. The daylight made him question what it was he saw altogether. Maybe all the charades were catching up with him. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

  He had an hour before he had to make it down to Frisco so he made some coffee and threw on a sweatshirt and pants. It was time to go for a run and clear his head. It was a half-block to get to the bike path that led from Frisco to Breckenridge. He decided to run toward Breckenridge since that was mostly going up. When he ran out of gas it would be easier to run back downhill. Zander learned that after trying the other way a few times.

  It was a beautiful morning. The air was brisk, just right for a run. Zander decided to run at a faster pace and go for only fifteen minutes out and the same back. That would leave him a half-hour to get ready for work and drink some coffee.

  The run was uneventful. No one stopped him to talk or ask directions which Zander appreciated. He poured himself some coffee in a mug he lifted from the Branchwater and sat on the porch. Life had been good in the mountains and he thought it could be again if he could get this mess cleaned up. He needed to help Lilly and he needed to get this Sara Jane thing settled. More and more it looked like they were interrelated. One thing for sure, he couldn’t walk away even though he thought maybe he should. His dad used to call him his “dog with a sock”. Once he got himself involved with something he just could not let go. A character trait that pushed him into dangerous situations probably wasn’t in his best interest. He just couldn’t help himself.

  He showered, grabbed a second cup of coffee and headed to Frisco. He would still be early today and that at least was a plus.

  It was quiet when he reached the Branchwater and Zander decided to make contact with Shelia. He hadn’t talked with her since his first call. The phone went right to the answering machine. Zander left a short message stating things were starting to break in the case and he would call her with more details when he knew more. He was relieved not to have to talk to her. He always hated talking on the phone and certainly didn’t have much time for pleasantries.

  *****

  Jayne drove back to Breckenridge at a leisurely pace. There was no hurry and she would check back into her room at the hotel. The radio was playing some classic rock when the announcer broke in for a weather bulletin. It seemed an early snowstorm was moving in from the west and it appeared there would be significant snowfall late afternoon and lasting until afternoon on Sunday. Travel was not advised and chains would be required when traveling over the continental divide. Jayne speeded up not wishing to drive in snow but secretly enjoying the news. It might give her time to tie up some loose ends.

  When she arrived at the hotel, she drove into the parking garage. She didn’t like parking in them ordinarily but she disliked pushing snow off her Camaro even more. She had just parked the car and locked the doors when she stopped. She opened the driver’s door and popped the hood. It was just a feeling but needed to be checked or she would have no peace of mind. It didn’t take her long to find the battery. There were two wires coming off the cables and she followed them to a little indentation behind the grille. There it was, the little black box just like the ones that Van had installed on all the other girl’s cars. Suddenly there was something the size of fist in Jayne’s stomach. Why had he put the tracker on her car? It was obvious that Van no longer trusted her. Jayne wondered why. Something must have happened. She tried to think back to that day with Lilly but nothing seemed at all unusual at least where she was concerned. She had to be careful now. There was this overpowering desire to rip the little black box out of her car and throw it as far down the mountains as she could. It would be better to resist that feeling. The box needed to stay where it was. She smiled. Knowing this secret gave Jayne some power. Van had made a mistake assuming Jayne wasn’t aware of her surroundings. This certainly would give her the upper hand, at least for the short term.

  She locked the car again and went into the hotel stopping at the desk to see if there had been any messages. There hadn’t been so she went up to room on the second floor.

  Jayne filled up the huge tub in her suite’s bathroom and put in some bubble bath. She turned on the jets and soon the tub and bathroom were filled with soapsuds. She stripped off her clothes and eased into the tub just laying there looking at the ceiling. She wished she had poured some wine before she got in but no matter, there would be time enough for that later. She was staying tonight and depending on the snow, she might stay Sunday as well. She would call Van later and check in. He would feel good about Lilly not turning up alive but he would still be concerned about not finding a body. The secret of the little black box would remain a secret however. Now it was her secret. Jayne needed time to figure out her next move.

  *****

  Zander’s day was a torrent of beers and whiskeys. People had been streaming in all day because of the weather forecast. Most were hoping for the ski lifts to open on Sunday with the promise of all the new snow arriving overnight. Today however, they had nothing to do but drink. If Zander were still conducting music, this would be called “presto”. Jo called in Fats early because Zander was needed at The Bridge. They were having the same problem. Everyone was in a festive mood as was usually the case preceding the first season’s snowfall and the glasses seemed to have no bottoms.

  Zander didn’t even have time to stop off at his cabin before heading up to Breckenridge. He pulled in just a bit after 4:00 and the bar was full. Audrey was running around trying hard to handle it but she looked pissed. When she saw Zander she just had to smile at him. Things would go smoother now.

  “Tell me what you want me to do,” Zander said to Audrey.

  “I need clean glasses and fresh limes. I haven’t been able to get anything done on the back bar.”

  “Okay. You pour the drinks I’ll take care of the rest,” Zander said grabbing an apron.

  “You’re the best,” Audrey teased.

  “But how would you know that?”

  Audrey socked him hard just below the left shoulder. Zander actually had to rub it. She packed a pretty mean punch.

  Zander liked doing the menial tasks of getting the bar ready. It gave him time to do some thinking while he completed the tasks by rote. He had been hoping for a slow night so he could go home and relax but he could see that wasn’t going to happen tonight. All he could do was put his head down and get to work. The night would gallop on by; maybe it would even be a stampede.

  *****

  Jayne decided to get out of the tub when the water started to cool. She toweled off and slipped on a robe and went over to the window. When she opened the blinds all she saw was white. The weather people had been right; it looked like winter had come early. She decided it was quite pretty however and very relaxing. As she peered out trying to see something against the heavy snow, she noticed the yellow T-Bird across the street in the employee parking area. Zander was at work. She went over to the bar and poured a glass of wine. It was a large pour. She would need some courage for what she was going to do before the end of the evening. She decided not to have dinner at The Bridge but eat in her room instead. She picked up the phone and ordered room service for 7:00. That would give her a few hours to relax and get ready for what she hoped was a pleasant evening. One thing for sure, she needed wine.

  *****

  Zander started to notice that the restaurant was thinning out and the clock only said 9:00.

  “What’s going on, Audrey, another party someplace?”

  “Have you even looked outside? It’s snowing and people want to get back to their hotels before they get stuck or slide into somebody,” Audrey replied shaking her head. Sometimes Zander was such a space cadet.

  Zander made his way over to the door and opened it. There had to be three inches on the ground and it didn’t look like it was going to
let up anytime soon. He went over and changed channels on the television set above the bar. Denver was advising no travel on I-70 and any of the other passes with elevations over 5,000 feet. The Eisenhower Tunnel was closed.

  “Looks like we’re in for a good one.”

  “That means the ski lifts will open and we’ll be busier then ever,” Audrey pouted.

  “Sounds like you need a break, Audrey. Why don’t you knock off early and let me handle the rest of the night. It looks like the crowd is leaving anyway.”

  “Thanks, Zander. I’ve got a few things to do in the back and then I’m out of here,” she said and went right to the back.

  Zander went around the bar and started to clean off tables. There were a few people left at the bar but most everyone else had left. The wait staff was checking out with the manager and the kitchen was closed. That was too bad. Zander hadn’t had time to eat and was feeling hungry. Maybe he could find something on his way home. There had to be a convenience store that would be open somewhere.

  After the tables were cleared and cleaned, Zander went back to the bar and decided to wash the glasses and get ready for the following day. He made sure the remaining customers had their drinks refilled and then followed up on his list of tasks.

  He was busy washing the glasses when someone sat down in front of him. Without looking up he asked:

  “Can I get you something?”

  “A glass of your house Cab would be nice,” the female voice said.

  Zander turned around and grabbed a wine glass from the rack and opened a new bottle of wine. He made a generous pour for the end of the evening and turned around to hand it to the woman and as he did he noticed she was unbuttoning the top two buttons of her shirt. He looked up immediately.

  “Hello, Zander.”

  It was Sara Jane and she was holding the Rubber Soul album he had given her so long ago.

  21

  Breckenridge, Colorado—Saturday, September 14, 1985: 10:00 p.m.

  She was older and her hair was different but there was no question, it was Sara Jane. Zander looked at her and saw the same smile and the voice was the same but the green eyes were a dull hazel and they no longer sparkled.

  Zander felt uncomfortable. For the first time in his life he really didn’t have anything to say.

  “Sara Jane,” was all he could muster. His legs suddenly felt heavy and he thought he needed to sit. He leaned on the bar instead.

  “It’s not Sara Jane any longer. It’s Jayne with a ‘y’.”

  “I suppose De Graff is no longer your handle either,” Zander said with just a hint of sarcasm. That bothered him because he didn’t really want to sound like an ass.

  “No, my last name is Grafton.”

  “Jayne with a “y” Grafton. I suppose it’s a nice name but I have to ask why,” Zander said with all the sincerity he could muster.

  “I imagine you have many questions. I don’t think this is the place for them however.”

  “Why are you going to blow the place up?” Zander couldn’t help himself.

  Jayne looked down for a moment and then looked right into Zander’s eyes.

  “I know you are angry with me. You have every right I’m sure. But Zander, that was twenty years ago. Much has happened since then and I plan to tell you everything, just not right here and not right now.”

  “Does Van know you are talking to me?” Zander asked hoping to get a reaction.

  Suddenly Jayne was Sara Jane for a moment and visibly shaken.

  “What do you know about him?”

  “Not here and not now,” Zander said smugly and then paused, “You should never assume anything is a secret.”

  “I feel like somehow you are scolding me,” Jayne said.

  “I am, silently,” Zander said.

  Jayne smiled, “ I’ll keep your secret if you’ll keep mine.”

  That threw Zander off his game. What the heck did she mean by that? This conversation was taking some turns and twists that Zander was having a hard time following. He needed a different tactic.

  “So what is your intention?”

  “My proposition is to tell you about my life and what has happened over the last twenty years. But that can’t happen in a bar around other people.”

  “Where then?” Zander asked making sure not to offer his cabin.

  “I’m staying in the hotel across the street. I’m going to finish this wine and go back. You can join me when you finish here. That is, if you want to.”

  Zander wanted to. She had been right, he was angry with her. He also wanted to know what was going on and he wanted to find out what she knew about Lilly.

  “It might be an hour,” Zander replied.

  “I’ve got time,” was all Jayne said.

  Zander went over to the three remaining customers and told them it was last call. They decided to leave rather than have another drink and finished up. Zander cleared their glasses and washed them in the bar sinks. He looked at Jayne and she smiled back at him.

  Zander was pissed at himself. He knew he should walk away from this. He knew it could only lead, in all probability, to more issues. But he had to have all the pieces to the puzzle because his father was correct; he was a dog with a sock. He had paid enough penitence, now it was Jayne’s turn. He would play this out no matter where it took him.

  *****

  Jayne finished her wine and sat quietly while Zander hustled around trying to finish his work. Zander noticed she had something that appeared to be a smaller version of an army field phone.

  “What is that thing?” he asked.

  “It’s a cell phone. I can make calls and receive them when I’m in the range of a cell phone tower. It’s very convenient,” Jayne said holding up the phone.

  “Pretty big to be called convenient I’m thinking.”

  “Oh this is just the first generation. They will continue to get smaller. I’ve heard they are about to introduce a phone you carry in a bag.”

  “I suppose that would be alright if you are a woman but no guy is going to carry around a bag,” Zander said.

  “You could keep it in your car. I’ve heard they are experimenting with phones no bigger than your hand that you could slip into your pocket.”

  “I don’t know if I would be interested in something like that.”

  “Just think, Zander, you could get rid of your land line.”

  “I don’t have a land line. Seems like you would lose a great deal of privacy. Why would anyone want to be reached twenty-four hours a day? I don’t think it will catch on.”

  “Well you really don’t have to worry. The technology is still years away. You might be wise to keep informed. They said the same thing about personal computers and look where we are with those now.”

  Jayne was rummaging in her purse. Zander went over to clear her glass and Jayne slipped a room key and a card into his hand. He noticed the card had a phone number on it and he assumed it was for the cell phone. He was about to put the key in his pocket when he noticed the room number. It was the same room he and Lilly had shared. He held the key in his right hand and looked at it. Was this some kind of coincidence? He didn’t think so. He didn’t believe in coincidence.

  Jayne was saying something, “I feel uncomfortable leaving an old friend a tip. Have you eaten anything?”

  “Not recently.”

  “Let me order room service for you since it appears everything else is closed for the night. It will be my treat.”

  Zander liked that idea. Stopping at a convenience store and picking up a burger or chicken that had been in a warmer most of the day didn’t really appeal to him.

  “I don’t want to put you out.”

  “Nonsense. It would please me. What do you want?”

  “I really don’t care. I’m so hungry I could eat almost anything.” Zander paused to think about what he just said. “But not liver.”

  Jayne laughed, “I’ll put the order in for 11:00. You better be finished by then.”
<
br />   The old Sara Jane was back both playful and in command.

  “I might be if someone would quit bothering me so I could get the work done.”

  “Say no more. I’m gone.” Jayne got up off the stool and right out the door without looking back.

  Zander was almost finished with his prep work for the following day but he hadn’t wanted to let Jayne know that fact. Fifteen minutes later everything was completed. He turned off the lights and flipped the lock on the front door and sat at the bar. He needed some time to think this through. He still hadn’t decided if he would go over to the hotel. The key thing bothered him. He remembered the old Sara Jane. Everything she had done back then had a reason. She was always in command even when she pretended not to be. He had to proceed with caution. He no longer knew exactly who or with what he was dealing.

  Zander sat in the dark for another fifteen minutes before deciding to go over to the hotel. He knew he would go all along. There were questions that had to be answered or he would never put the past to rest. If he had been honest with himself he would have admitted to still being enthralled with this old flame. She was still sexually attractive to him.

  *****

  Zander locked the door from the outside and started for his T-Bird until he saw it covered in snow. He didn’t want to take the time to dig it out just to drive it over to the hotel just to dig it out again later.

  He walked over to the hotel in the snow. He always enjoyed mountain snow. It came down straight and beautiful even when it was heavy. In Iowa, the snow came in sideways because it was always blowing. The wind blew the snow against line fences and trees and usually left the farm fields bare and yet making the roads impassible. Zander did not miss those winters at all.

  There was at least four or five inches on the ground and everything had white frosting all over it. There were no tracks because the snow filled them in just as soon as they were made.

  When he reached the hotel, Zander had to help the automatic lobby doors to open. It seemed the snow had been freezing in the door tracks. When Zander pushed on the doors the chunks of ice popped up into the air and the door gave way.

 

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