by Holly Martin
‘People will come. I’ve heard many people talking about how excited they are about the fair. Even if they weren’t excited they would still come. Don’t underestimate the loyalty of the islanders or how much everyone here loves you. No one here thinks you had anything to do with the embezzlement and they’ll do anything they can to help you. You know that.’
Bella wasn’t so sure. People didn’t forgive and forget easily and although she hadn’t been snubbed in restaurants or shops as she had been on St Mary’s, she still felt that some people were giving her the side eye when she was walking down the streets.
She took a bite of her cake. ‘We are also bringing a new game out which people will play on their phones. They can search for Easter eggs and win prizes.’ Bella skated over the specifics of the game as she knew the technology would be lost on her aunt. She’d only just got a smartphone and had no idea how to use it. Her uncle Finn would have more of a clue about the game and how it utilised the GPS and maps inbuilt into the phone but there was no point in blinding her aunt Lucy with how it worked. She also hoped that talking about work would be enough to distract Lucy from talking about Isaac.
‘That sounds great, Bella, you are so creative when it comes to fundraising ideas. And I understand you’re dating the boss.’
Bella focussed on the cake, though she couldn’t help smiling at the thought of Isaac. ‘Umm. Yes, we’ve just started seeing each other.’
What would Lucy think about that? It wasn’t a good idea to mix business and pleasure, anyone would tell you that. It’d be bad enough if they were colleagues but him being her boss could make things difficult if it ended between them. That thought was like a punch to the gut; it had only been a few days and she couldn’t imagine not being with him any more.
‘I think it’s lovely. You know, me and Finn met in the same way.’
Bella looked up. ‘He was your boss?’
‘No, I was his. We both worked at the bank down the road.’
‘And how was that, was it weird working with each other and dating at the same time? Did people make comments about the two of you dating?’
‘Of course there were comments, but they soon got used to it. But working with him and dating him was wonderful,’ Lucy said, dreamily. ‘When we first started dating, I used to engineer a meeting with him in my office now and again and he would come in and ravish me across my desk. It was so exciting that I ended up making the meeting a daily thing. No one knew. My office was above the main branch and no one came up there. Everyone just took it as the norm that Finn had these daily meetings with me. He was chief cashier, I was branch manager, it was expected that we would have stuff to take care of. No one knew that, every day for ten years, Finn was taking care of much more personal needs.’
Bella stared at her. They’d always had a very open relationship and Bella had talked to her about sex before, but it was hard to imagine her aunt having sex with her uncle across her desk. In fact it was something she didn’t want to imagine.
‘He was new to the island,’ Lucy went on, clearly reminiscing very happily now. ‘One of the branches in St Mary’s closed and if he hadn’t moved to Hope Island he would have been out of a job. He moved here temporarily over forty years ago and never left. He came in all angry about having to move here and… well, it was love at first sight.’
‘Do you really believe in love at first sight, Lucy? Surely you can’t fall in love with someone when you’ve only just met?’
‘His first day, I bought him a cake at lunch time to cheer him up because he looked so fed up about having to move here. He flashed me this wonderful smile and I knew right there and then that I was going to marry that boy. We were engaged after a month and married the following year. When you meet the one, you just know.’
Bella smiled at the simplicity of it. Lucy and Finn were testament that love did work for some people. They had found their forever and never looked back.
‘I see the way you smile about Isaac; you really like him, don’t you?’
Bella nodded. ‘I really do.’
‘Do you think this could be love for you?’
Bella shook her head automatically. ‘I’m not interested in love.’
Lucy looked horrified. ‘Why are you not interested in love?’
‘Because it’s terrifying and scary and horrible.’
Lucy frowned. ‘I try not to think badly of my sister – she gave us you and I’ll always be grateful for that – but what she taught you about love and relationships makes me so angry. Love is not something to be feared. Just because you had a bad experience of it doesn’t mean you should run away from it in the future. Love is wonderful. It’s the best thing that can ever happen to you.’
‘It just lays you open to a whole heap of hurt. If you love someone then you’re just handing them your heart on a plate for them to destroy whenever they want.’
‘Or they could treasure it, look after it, adore it, keep it next to theirs for the rest of their life. What could be better than that? Love is scary, I’ll grant you that. It doesn’t always work out the way we would hope for, but I promise you it’s worth the risk. When you find the one, and they love you back, it’s the best feeling in the world.’
Bella shook her head.
Lucy took her hand. ‘You can’t stop yourself from falling in love. It just happens no matter how inconvenient. It’s how you deal with it that will determine your happiness. How would you feel if things ended with you and Isaac now?’
‘I’d be gutted,’ Bella said, honestly, and immediately knew that was an understatement.
‘And the other boys you dated, Andrew, Daniel, Jeremy and Kane. Did you care when it ended with them?’
Bella shrugged. ‘Probably my pride was hurt more than anything but no, I didn’t care. Doesn’t mean that this thing with Isaac is love. I just care about him more than the others.’
‘Denying that it’s love is not going to stop it hurting if it comes to an end.’
Bella took a big bite of her cake. Lucy didn’t understand. She had never been rejected so spectacularly that her heart was damaged beyond repair. Bella had to protect herself from love because the pain of her parents rejecting her had never gone away. She couldn’t go through that again. She would just enjoy what she had with Isaac now and she wouldn’t let herself fall in love with him, knowing it would eventually come to an end. And it would come to an end. There was something about her that meant she was unlovable. Her parents didn’t love her, none of the men she had dated in the past had ever uttered that word, and Isaac would be no different. Isaac would walk away from her just like everyone else and it would hurt like hell when it happened but if she could keep her heart under lock and key, then maybe she could just about survive it.
‘Oh Finn shouldn’t be planting those white flowers there, they need to be on the other side of the garden, excuse me a moment,’ Lucy said, flying out the door.
She watched Lucy as her arms flew around dramatically and Finn stood up and watched her with a smile of adoration. He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead and picked up the tray and walked to the other side of the garden.
She would never have what they had. She was broken, damaged goods and no one could fix her.
There was a knock on the door and, as Lucy was still directing proceedings outside, Bella went to answer it.
Eden was standing on the doorstep looking very sorry for herself. Bella gave her a big hug and led her back to the kitchen.
‘I’m presuming the long face is to do with Dougie being back on the island,’ Bella said, cutting a slice of cake for her sister.
‘He popped in to see me this morning, big grin on his face, giving me a big hug as if we’re best friends.’
‘You are best friends, just because you’re thousands of miles apart doesn’t change that,’ Bella said, glad that Eden was here so Bella could focus on someone else’s problems rather than her own.
‘I know,’ Eden said. ‘I just… Do you have any idea how it fee
ls to like someone and love them and hate them all at the same time?’
Bella stared at Eden. ‘I have no idea what that’s like.’
Eden sighed. ‘He makes me laugh so much and we get on so well and every time he comes over I fall in love with him all over again and every time he goes back I hate him for leaving, because in another life we should have been happily married with fifteen kids by now.’
‘I don’t think anyone can be happily married with fifteen kids.’
‘I would have been,’ Eden said. ‘And when he’s gone I convince myself that I don’t love him, that next time he comes over, we’ll just be friends and I won’t keep looking at him like a lovesick puppy. And I try dating other people, I really have tried but nothing works because, no matter what I do, no matter how long it goes by without me seeing him, I can’t seem to fall out of love with him. It’s been twelve years and he walks into my café and the feelings for him are as strong now as they were when he left.’
Bella reached out and pulled Eden into a hug. She knew Eden had feelings for Dougie but she hadn’t realised that she was so tortured like this every time Dougie came over from the States.
‘I still maintain he has feelings for you too,’ Bella said.
‘If he does, he’s gotten very good at hiding it,’ Eden sniffled.
‘Why else would he keep coming back all the time?’
‘If he had feelings for me he would have moved back here a long time ago.’
‘Just like you could have moved to America to be with him,’ Bella said, diplomatically.
‘And do what, watch him sleep with an endless parade of women? He has given me no indication at all that he has feelings for me. Why would I move away from here without any kind of sign that he feels the same way?’
‘Just like you’ve given him no indications at all that you have feelings for him; why would he move away from the bright lights of New York and come back here unless he knew for sure that you felt the same way?’
Eden stared at her. ‘Whose side are you on?’
‘Yours, always yours. I’m just saying that if you really want to move on, maybe it’s time you tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t feel the same way then at least you’ll know and it might help you move on instead of always wishing and hoping for some kind of lovers’ reunion every time he comes back. And if he knows how much it upsets you every time he comes over, maybe he’ll stop. Something has to give here.’
Eden nodded though Bella knew it would take more than a few words from her to make Eden want to bare all her feelings to Dougie.
Lucy came back through the door and took one look at Eden and then pulled her into a hug.
‘I saw him in town today,’ Lucy said, instinctively knowing why Eden was so sad. ‘I never know whether to hug him or be angry at him.’
‘Always hug him,’ Eden said. ‘I’m angry enough for all of us and he doesn’t deserve that.’
‘I always do,’ Lucy said. ‘And I always tell him it’s time he moved home for good. This time he said that he might be doing just that.’
Eden pulled back from her mum. ‘He said that?’
Lucy nodded.
Eden sat down with a sigh. ‘I have no idea whether to be overjoyed at that prospect or fed up. At least when he’s gone I get some peace from this heartache. The thought of seeing him every day and knowing he’ll never be mine is a truly depressing thought.’
Finn chose that moment to come barrelling through the back door, adorning Eden and Bella with hugs and kisses and breaking the emotional despair with his usual jovial manner.
‘Bella, I want to hear all about your new job,’ Finn said as he sat down and cut himself a huge slice of cake. ‘And this Isaac chap I hear you’re dating.’
Eden brightened at the mention of Isaac. ‘I want to hear all about him too.’
Bella smiled with love for her family. It was going to be a long night.
Chapter Twenty
Isaac watched Dougie sink yet another ball into the pocket of the pool table and glared at him, hoping that would be enough to stop Dougie’s marvellous winning streak.
Dougie just laughed off the scowl and lined up another shot. Isaac groaned as the yellow ball disappeared inside the pocket.
‘What’s wrong with you tonight? You normally play bad, but this is a new level of bad for you,’ Dougie said, as he lined up another shot. Thankfully the ball glanced off the edge of the pocket and he sat down next to Isaac and took a sip of beer.
‘Nothing’s wrong, just thinking about the future. I think things need to change. I want something different than what I have now.’
‘Does this new bright future include Bella?’ Dougie teased as Isaac got up and walked around the table.
‘I really hope so, but that’s not what I meant.’
‘Wait.’ The smile fell off Dougie’s face. ‘You’re really serious about Bella? I figured this was just a bit of fun for you.’
Isaac glanced up from his cue to look at Dougie. ‘Am I treading on some toes here, is there something between the two of you?’
‘No. Absolutely not. She’s family. Nothing has ever happened between us. I assure you there are no toes being trod on here. But I’ve never known you be serious about anyone before.’
‘Bella’s different.’
‘You’ve got that right.’
Isaac stood up, his arms folded across his chest. ‘What does that mean?’
Dougie was his friend, probably his only one, but if he said one bad word about Bella this would not end well for Dougie.
‘Whoa.’ Dougie obviously saw the look and understood what it meant. ‘I adore Bella, she’s one of my oldest friends. But she’s fragile. And I know that doesn’t come across with her – she’s feisty and has a hell of a temper on her when she gets mad – but underneath that prickly armour is this layer of finely spun glass. That glass was shattered a long time ago and I don’t think it will ever be fixed.’
‘I know all about her parents.’
‘Then you’ll know how badly that affected her. The kids round here were so cruel about it, mocking her for being so unlovable that even her parents dumped her. I know that had a massive impact on her too. Rome and I were like her bodyguards when we were growing up, surrounding her wherever we went, beating up anyone that dared to say anything, but she became so withdrawn. She pushed everyone away apart from us and Eden. I don’t think she ever really got over that. I stayed in contact with quite a few people here after I left. I know some of the guys she’s dated in the past. She never let them in. They said she was great fun but she was emotionally closed off. She pushes them away. She’s scared of love and I really don’t think this is going to end in the way you think it will.’
Isaac sighed. He knew how bruised Bella’s heart was but he had hoped he might be the one to be able to fix it. What if she never felt the same way he did? What if she always held him at arm’s length? Would it be enough for him to just have what they had now? But then he thought about it and he knew this was something different for her too.
‘What we have is special,’ Isaac said. ‘I think she’s falling for me too.’
Dougie looked even more horrified at this prospect. ‘If you are the lucky one to break down her barriers and she really does fall in love for the first time in her life, she will be devastated if it ends. Just be careful with her. I’d hate to have to beat the crap out of you for breaking her heart.’
Isaac laughed. ‘I promise that won’t be necessary.’
‘Phew. I don’t fancy my chances against you.’
Isaac resumed lining up his shot and watched with some satisfaction when his red ball disappeared into the pocket. ‘I wanted to talk to you actually about your new business. How’s it going?’
‘Good. Well I have more business than I can handle actually; I took a lot of clients with me when I left Poseidon Games. I thought it would be easy working for myself but now it looks like I might have to employ a team or at least take on a partner
. Do you fancy it, Isaac? You were always a big gamer.’
Isaac took a shot at another ball but it bounced off the back cushion. ‘Actually, yes.’
Dougie stared at him. ‘I was kidding. Being a CEO of three companies not enough for you?’
‘It’s never been enough for me. I’ve never enjoyed my work for BlazeStar, or even SparkStar. My work for the Umbrella Foundation is at least more rewarding but I can’t say it’s enjoyable. I’ve been working on a game for Bella the last few days, a location-based augmented-reality game similar to Pokémon Go and I have loved it. I’ve forgotten how much I enjoy making games. You went on to live my dream, working for big gaming companies and now setting up your own gaming business. I went on to develop computer programs for big companies which made me a ton of money and made me bored as hell. Being with Bella has made me look at my life and what I want from it. I want to do more games. I’m already taking a giant step back from BlazeStar and SparkStar so I can focus on the Umbrella Foundation but I’m thinking I want to come away from the computer programming side altogether. Dawn and Matthew are doing a great job of managing the companies for me while I’m down here but I’m thinking of making them company directors. I’d still be a shareholder but the companies would be under their control. I want a new challenge and if you’re looking for a partner then I’d be very interested.’
Dougie stared at him for a moment. ‘I would love to work with you. It would be great to have someone with your skills and knowledge working on some of the projects. And if I did make the move back here, which is looking more and more likely, it would be great to work alongside you.’
‘But?’ Isaac could tell there was definitely a ‘but’ coming.
Dougie grinned at how easily Isaac had read him. He stood up and potted another ball without any kind of effort.
‘But, it has been my dream as far back as I can remember to own my own gaming company and now I’m finally doing it and I love it, but I’m just starting out and I want to see if I can make a success of it. I’m not ready to relinquish fifty percent of my company just yet.’