He couldn’t leave it like this, this raw thirst that needed Caylee. He had to go find her. She might never take him up on his offer of being there for her, but he at least needed to try and make things right. He hurried down the hill and onto the front deck. Cam stepped out of the shadows and stood in front of him. Levi stuttered to a stop, realizing once again how big his future brother-in-law was. He rarely looked up to another man or felt intimidated by one, but the look on Cam’s face right now was a quiet fury.
“What’s up?” Levi asked, hoping to hide the fact that Cam’s sister had just slayed his hopes, and he’d turned spiteful and mean.
“You know, Levi. I love your sister so much, if I described it to you I’d have to turn in my man card.”
Levi chuckled, this wasn’t where he thought Cam was going to go right now, especially if he’d just overheard the last few sentences Levi had said to Caylee.
“Sage wants us to be good friends.”
Levi nodded.
“But if you dare disrespect or hurt my sister, I’ll knock every one of your teeth out.”
This was exactly where he thought this conversation would go. Levi suspected if they ever fought it would be a decent battle, but he also suspected Cam might be able to take him out. He didn’t know that a man offering to fight him had ever resulted in him walking away, but out of respect for his sister, and the fact that he sincerely regretted being so harsh to Caylee, he swallowed and muttered, “I apologize.”
Cam studied him for a few seconds then finally blew out a long breath. “Sage had high hopes that you two could become friends.”
Levi didn’t want to get back into the conversation from earlier where Cam had told him that Caylee couldn’t commit. Cam knew about whatever was going on with Caylee better than anybody. He also couldn’t admit to Cam that when Caylee wasn’t frustrating him, he wouldn’t mind being much more than friends. If Cam knew where his thoughts sometimes went regarding Caylee, that fist fight would ensue quicker than Levi might be ready for. “Your sister has … a lot of spice.”
Cam chuckled. “That’s an understatement.” He turned and looked over the dark water. Gentle waves lapped onto the shore. It would be peaceful if Levi wasn’t so churned up. “I keep hoping someday she’ll find someone she can love and trust, but her defenses are pretty high.”
Levi didn’t really want to discuss Caylee and knew if they kept this conversation up Cam would suspect exactly how attracted Levi was to his little sister, but then Cam was marrying Levi’s little sister and so far he’d resisted the urge to put him a headlock when they got too touchy-feely.
“I’m sure there are a lot of guys who have tried to push past those defenses.”
Cam glanced askance at him. “You have no idea. I hate it.”
“I have a pretty good idea how it feels. If you heard how many times guys went on about my hot sister. Never failed to tick me off.”
Cam grunted. “They’d better keep their eyes off Sage now.”
“Yeah, right.” Levi laughed. “Guess I get to turn over Sage’s protection to you. Luckily you’re big enough you can take out any guy who looks cross-eyed at her.”
“I didn’t used to be the fighting type, but when I catch guys checking out Sage I get all cave-man protective.”
Levi smiled. “You’re in for a long road, my friend. Maybe you’d better just take it as a compliment.”
Cam rolled his eyes. “I’d rather thump them.”
They both gazed out at the water for a few seconds and Levi realized that he did like his future brother-in-law, even if the guy had threatened to personally rearrange his dental work if he didn’t play nice with Caylee. He blew out a breath. Dang that woman had him stirred every which direction. Maybe if he just kissed her once and got it out of his system then he could calm down and figure out how to be civil when they saw each other at family functions. He suspected if he kissed her once he’d get all “cave-man protective” and try to force her into a relationship, which obviously would never work.
“So what are we going to do about Caylee?”
Levi startled. Had Cam read his thoughts? “Um, well, do? About Caylee?”
Cam arched an eyebrow. “Do you think you could help me with her? Take care of her when I can’t be there?”
Levi’s throat went dry. “Cam, I don’t think you meant that the way it sounded, right?”
Cam chuckled. “No. I don’t want you … taking care of her like liking her, I just mean watching out for her with other men and stuff like that.”
He nodded, despising the thought of her with other men. “But if, um, things changed between us and I did start to like her …?” He didn’t dare look at Cam’s face, and he really couldn’t believe he’d just said those words. Caylee was smoking hot and very fun to be around, but Cam had already told Levi there was no hope for a relationship with his sister. Levi wasn’t going for casual.
“If you promise to be respectful and she lets you past her defenses, I might not thump you. Mind you it’s a big might.”
Levi smiled and reached out his hand. Cam took it and they shook on it. “I’m going to keep the awkward tension going and try to apologize to Caylee.”
Cam released his hand and sized him up. “Good luck.”
“I’m sure I’ll need it.”
Caylee wiped tears away that wouldn’t seem to stop. Why was she crying? Stinking Levi. She was so unsettled by him, attracted to him, ticked at him. She could hardly pick the right words to define it. It hurt to hear that she was basically a selfish flirt, but that was how she’d navigated the dating stream and it had worked well for her for a lot of years. She had fun and she didn’t let things get serious. Now she was stuck on a boat for a week with a guy who was much too serious and who wanted to be there for her. Nobody needed to be there for her. No matter that Levi being there sounded like heaven.
Her lips parted in a smile as she remembered him bouncing on the tube next to her and laughing. He laughed with his whole body and it was great—his head tilting back, his eyes sparkling, his chest expanding. Was it just two days ago she’d called him a fun-sucker? She’d been wrong. He knew how to enjoy life. He’d probably lost that piece of himself in Afghanistan. She wanted to restore it, laugh with him, have him wrap those manly hands around her waist, have him be the one to help her kill her commitment phobias.
The tears stopped and her hands started trembling. No. No way. She couldn’t let Levi in. He would be her downfall for sure. Other people might need the crutch of a relationship, but not her. She was happy, busy, and fulfilled with her schooling and soon she’d be a high school principal. She’d be the best principal ever, attending every function, spending any time the young people needed counseling, lifting, encouraging. She couldn’t do that if she got swept into some romance, if she got married and had a family. Her heart started beating fast. A family. Children who could be left behind like she and Cam had been. A daughter who could be ... No. It was too big of a risk. She’d committed her life to be the one to help those children who needed someone. That was her calling.
A soft padding on the ladder announced someone coming up. Caylee lay down flat on her sleeping pad and tried to regulate her breathing. She squeezed her eyes shut as if the person wouldn’t find her if she couldn’t see them.
“Caylee?”
Crap! That was Levi’s voice. Cam had been on the front porch when she’d run through the boat. She’d heard the low rumble of the two men’s voices when she came up here, but couldn’t make out the words over the steady wash of waves against the boat. Why didn’t Cam stop Levi from coming after her? He’d had no trouble throughout the years running other men off. Yet recently he’d been encouraging her to settle down.
“Caylee?” he called a little bit louder.
Caylee lay perfectly still and prayed, Please don’t let him find me, please don’t let him find me.
It was like when she was little and afraid of the bogeyman. She’d lay like a log and pray. Cam had alway
s come when she cried out in the night, but when she got really quiet no one had come. A tear leaked out.
Levi cautiously moved toward her. “Caylee?” he whispered from just above her.
Caylee’s breath caught in her throat. Smooth, even breaths. Keep your eyes shut. Look relaxed.
Levi knelt down next to her and her breath hitched again.
“I’m sorry, Caylee. It wasn’t my place to judge you.”
Caylee didn’t move a muscle. That was it? He was only sorry because he judged her. Had he given up on the idea of being there for her that quickly?
“You’re a lot of … fun, Caylee, and I hope you can be happy.”
Caylee kept her eyes closed, but another darn tear sneaked out and rolled down her face, landing in her ear. She was a lot of fun? Levi wasn’t truly interested in her, which should be a very good thing. She was really selfish to want him to declare his undying devotion when she would never want to be more than kissing buddies. No, she meant friends, just friends. She didn’t move or respond.
Finally, Levi pushed out a long breath then stood. “Why did I even try?” he muttered.
He walked away and soon she heard him going down the ladder and then there was only the sound of the water lapping against the houseboat and the smooth rock of the shore. Caylee released her breath and rolled over onto her side, curling into the fetal position and letting the tears come. She’d be fine in the morning. She’d be “Happy Tadpole” like her grandma had called her for years to try to get her to smile and then one day it had finally worked. Caylee had become that happy tadpole but she’d also become untouchable. Happy and fun, but invincible in her heart. That’s how she needed to be to get through this week with Levi.
Chapter Eleven
Levi spent another completely miserable night. Hot, frustrated with Caylee and with himself, unable to sleep. He wished he could go for a night swim like he’d done with Caylee, but he just lay there, despondent. It was almost easier not to move and just feel sorry for himself. Had Caylee been asleep or had she listened to his lame apology? He hadn’t known what to say to her, especially without her looking at him so he could gauge if his apology was working and if there’d ever be a chance to break through her wall.
The next morning dawned bright and sunny as ever. Levi got off his sleeping bag before the rest of them, unable to not look at Caylee. She was so peaceful and beautiful, curled in a ball with her hair covering part of her face. He turned away and slipped down the stairs, through the boat, and off the front. He went for a quick hike to expend some energy and when he came back everyone was at the table. Everyone else seemed well-rested and ready for another fabulous day on the lake.
They ate a large breakfast with Sage’s famous French toast and sausage. Levi picked at his breakfast, earning him looks from Sage. Caylee didn’t seem to notice—all smiles, joking with Cam and Sage about wedding plans and if they were just going to elope to avoid Sage’s mom’s wedding extravaganza. The word wedding on Caylee’s lips yanked something in his abdomen. How dare she act so casual and happy when they both knew she’d never consider a wedding? Had she been asleep last night? Either way she was treating him like a piece of furniture as she joked and laughed with Cam and Sage.
They cleaned up breakfast and loaded up drinks and snacks to go on an excursion to Moki Canyon. Levi’s chest tightened as he got to the wave runner and Caylee was waiting for him, already seated on the machine with this infuriating grin on her lips. “I’m driving today.”
Levi was tired—no sleep, fighting his feelings for her. He didn’t want to disagree, but he didn’t want to hold on to her waist either. His eyes skimmed over her firm body in a striped black and white tankini with bright floral bottoms. That spicy combination on anyone else would be too much. It flattered Caylee. Anything would.
He didn’t say a word, just waded into the water and climbed on. Yesterday she’d clung to him and rested her cheek against his shoulder. It was a memory he didn’t want to lose, but yesterday’s innocence was gone.
Grasping the seat behind him instead of wrapping his arms around Caylee, he promised himself he could stay strong. He could make this a good day and try to not be a “fun-sucker”. His glower at breakfast had probably made everyone uncomfortable. He could do better no matter how frustrated and uncertain he was about him and Caylee.
“You ready?” Caylee glanced over her shoulder, her lips pulling down in a frown as she saw the way he was holding on.
Levi clung tighter, wanting to lean forward and kiss that pretty pink pout. “Yep,” he muttered.
“Whatever.” She pushed the start button then pressed the throttle all the way forward. Levi had been prepared for something like this and gripped the seat between his thighs like a bull rider, barely managing to hold on to the slick plastic with his hands and legs.
Caylee whooped and they caught up to Cam and Sage within seconds.
Levi gritted his teeth and just held on, ignoring the strange looks Cam was giving him from the back of the other machine. His future brother-in-law had his arms wrapped tight around Sage’s midsection and seemed completely happy to be mauling Levi’s sister.
Levi tried to ignore Caylee like she’d been doing to him at breakfast and probably did last night during his awkward apology, if she’d even been awake last night. How did he ask that casually? Hey, did you sleep through my apology because I’m not going to issue it again.
He focused on the scenery instead. The red canyon walls soared and then dipped, the rock formations were unreal and the smooth dark blue water was a great contrast. The water got rough as they left the safety of their canyon and rode through the main channel to get to Moki’s.
“You might want to hang on,” Caylee called back to him as huge waves from a houseboat rocked them.
“I’m good.” Levi gritted his teeth and wanted to tell her he was doing everything in his power to hang on—emotionally and physically. He just couldn’t let himself hang on to her. Now that he’d made his stand, if he went back on it he’d just look stupid.
Finally, they made it through the uneven waves and into the calmness of the neighboring canyon. They slowed down to navigate the curves and admire the height of the walls and the occasional cave art.
At the end of the canyon, they pulled up to a sand mountain. Levi happily dismounted the wave runner, waited for Caylee to get off, and then pulled it up onto the beach. The sand hill was a popular spot, with quite a few boats lining the beach and people climbing up then rolling, running, or sliding down it.
Caylee turned to him, her eyes twinkling with excitement. That about killed Levi. He wanted to pick her up, whirl her around, and kiss her. Calm down, dude. She’s not available.
“This is going to be epic.” Caylee rubbed her hands together in the cutest way he had ever seen.
Levi grunted and looked up at the sand hill to try to shift his focus. Some crazy person was doing backflips down the slope. He wondered if he wouldn’t be using his medical training before this day was over.
“Stop worrying and let’s go act like little kids.” Caylee grasped his hand and started tugging him toward the hill.
Levi felt the absolute rightness of her hand in his all the way through him. He should tug his hand free and stop the infatuated thoughts in his head, but he trudged through the sand beside her. Her light fruity scent almost overwhelmed him. Was it raspberry and vanilla? Had she showered this morning while he went for his hike?
Cam and Sage were just ahead of them. Sage looked back, grinning as big as Caylee. “Can you believe this? I’m going to do flips down like that last guy.”
“Don’t even think about it.” Levi couldn’t help but laugh after his warning, completely negating any sane voice.
Caylee laughed along with him and squeezed his hand. Levi remembered they probably shouldn’t be holding hands, but why exactly? His mind was befuddled from her smile and the simple touch of her hand. If she ever kissed him, he’d probably completely lose his mind.
Caylee released his hand halfway up. She giggled kind of nervously. “Sorry. I get so excited to do something new.”
The release of her fingers and reminder that she was only interested in her next thrill took a lot of the joy out of the moment. At least his sane mind reappeared. “No worries. I needed help making it up the hill.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, right. You’re like a machine. Do you ever get out of breath?”
“Twenty mile runs through the desert could get to me.”
“Wow. That sounds like misery.”
“It was.” Most of Afghanistan was miserable. He hated to even think about it. “Race you to the top,” he said to stop her from asking about Afghanistan like the other night in the water. How he wished for that feeling with her again.
Caylee grinned. “Good luck!” She took off, scrambling up the sand. She dodged around Levi, Cam, and Sage, taunting, “Can’t catch me.”
The couple laughed at her, but Levi was up to the challenge and he couldn’t seem to resist chasing Caylee. He dug deep and churned through the sand. They’d left their flip flops in the boat so it was hot on his feet, but he didn’t care. He caught Caylee and pushed around her, “I got you.”
“No!” she cried out.
Levi laughed and kept running. Something knocked into his legs. Levi cried out in surprise, slamming into the sand hill, barely catching himself with his hands before he face-planted. The only thing that kept him from rolling down the hill was that he landed straight uphill. Caylee scrambled over the top of him. “Ha! I got you.”
Levi inhaled, shocked she’d be that physical with him, and he pulled some hot sand into his nose. Coughing and sputtering, he caught her ankle and yanked her to a stop.
Reluctant Rescue (Park City Firefighter Romance) Page 8