Do I like that he’s touching me in the same way I see so many couples touching each other?
Yes.
Should I?
No.
No, I really shouldn’t.
***
“You were scared! Just admit it and then you’ll score another point!” I laugh almost uncontrollably as we walk through the exit way of the huge rollercoaster that’s made Brandon’s whole demeanor change.
“Scared? You think I was scared? Never!” he laughs back, placing his arm around my shoulder this time as we head towards a hot dog stand. “So, tell me. This whole point’s thing … how am I doing so far?”
Honestly? He scores a ten. Telling him this now though will just make him think that the time has already come for me to apologize for my incorrect assumptions.
Disrespectful? Well, he hasn’t been tonight, though I’m pretty sure that he’s been on his best behavior primarily because he’s trying to prove his point.
It’s almost ten o’clock as he places our order.
This evening has been a whole lot more fun than I’d imagined it to have been. I’ve even had to turn my cell phone onto silent. When I hadn’t returned home by nine o’clock, Rachael was messaging me persistently, wondering how I was and what was going on.
I answered one of her messages, telling her that I’d be back soon and that everything was okay.
“And …?” he takes a seat opposite to where I’m sitting and crosses him arms over, resting them on the table as we wait for our food to arrive. “Have I managed to persuade you that I’m actually a really nice guy? I mean, c’mon. I haven’t even tried to touch your breasts once!”
“If you had have tried then you would be rolling around on the ground with your best friends missing!” I answer, noticing a slight sparkle entering his eyes.
He hasn’t tried anything. He hasn’t tried anything at all, and when I see him glancing at his watch for what must be the third time in the space of a half hour, I’m pretty sure he’s about ready to head home.
Once our order arrives, we eat our food in almost silence, and then make our way back to his car. Listening to one of the local radio stations as we head home, he taps the wheel while singing quietly along to a couple of the rock songs that are playing back to back.
Is it really so bad that I’m feeling slightly sad that our date has come to an end already? It’s most likely that it is, I know this. I thought I would have been home at least a couple of hours ago, with Brandon heading back to his place with a couple of black eyes. But, I’ve been pleasantly surprised.
Although I know that he has been going all out to be the ‘respectable guy,’ and he’s not usually like this, sweet and funny, I don’t know … “The verdict?” Brandon’s voice interrupts my thoughts, and that’s when I realize he’s already parked up outside my house.
“I …” I smile as I grab my purse from the side door. He’s watching me with curious eyes and raised eyebrows. “Fine.” I answer, seeing the small grin he was wearing over his lips widening some. “You passed.”
I unfasten my seatbelt and turn to face him. I guess I should thank him. We’ve had a fun evening together. When I look into his eyes, I notice something missing. He’s wearing a mouthwatering wide smile, but his eyes aren’t smiling along with it.
“You know … that’s kind of a shame.”
His words don’t make any sense to me and I keep watching him as he climbs out his side. He walks around the front of the car, and then opens up the passenger door for me again.
As I stand and meet with him on the sidewalk just by my front gate, I notice his shoulders are tensed, and he’s rolling back and forth on his heel while raking a hand through his raven black spikes.
Standing only a foot or so away from him, I don’t say anything and neither does he. He’s glancing around and looks nervous about something.
Eventually, the silence is broken.
“Well … goodnight, Holly,” he finally says, his voice low and if I heard right, a little shaky. “I guess that we’re, um … even.”
“Yeah, I guess we are,” I answer him. My heart’s beginning to pound so much harder and faster in my chest than normal when I see him taking a step closer towards me. Our bodies are only a few inches apart when I feel something warm brushing against my right hand. I look down and see that he’s taken my hand in his. When I look back up at him, he’s holding his gaze firmly on mine. “Holly?” His voice is raspy as he whispers my name.
Think, Holly. Think! Is he going to kiss me? I don’t want him to kiss me. At least, I don’t think I do. Do I?
Kiss me … Kiss me … Kiss me …
He leans forward and the delightful smell of his cologne invades my senses again. His eyes are still open and are deeply searching mine, causing my breath to catch from the intensity gleaming from within them. His smile begins to fade as he nears me, and I can feel his breath breezing lightly over my face.
I lick my lips and lean closer, but then I see something flash into his eyes. He moves his head to the side, and instead of feeling his mouth on mine, he places a soft, lingering kiss on my left cheek. I don’t move. I feel disappointed, but then just find myself to be relishing from his closeness.
His lips linger over my skin, and before I can think straight, I brush my cheek against his, close my eyes, and then move until my lips are hovering over his mouth. Bringing my hands up, I place one on either side of his face and lightly stroke his cheeks with my fingers. I stand on my tiptoes and feel as the kiss begins to deepen.
I’m kissing Brandon. Brandon Taylor. The man-hoe of Olympia.
He wraps his arms tightly around my waist before pulling me firmly up against him. His lips are warm and soft as he slides his tongue into my mouth. Stroking his fingers through my hair as we continue to kiss for a few moments longer, I feel him pulling away a fraction. He’s smiling at me, with his beautiful blue eyes boring into mine.
My mind begins to go into overdrive as images of what I saw at the party last night filter inside.
Him and Heather in the bathroom …
I back away some more and notice that his eyes are widening, his mouth is twisting downward, and his eyebrows are furrowing. I feel my cheeks heating and my heart hammering even harder in my chest as I continue to step away from him.
“I’m sorry, I thought that …” his voice trails and he looks confused. His entire expression becomes guarded, and I turn quickly on my heel and head down through the gate, walking briskly so that I can get inside. “Is that it?” I pause on the porch steps when I hear him call after me. Turning around slowly, I see him walking casually towards me.
“What were you expecting?” As he draws closer, the light reflecting from the streetlamp reveals his newfound smile. “Oh … right.” Of course. A kiss isn’t enough for him. He expected me to be like all the other girls. Swooning and pining and begging for more.
He eyes me with caution. “No. No, that’s not what I meant,” he takes a step closer. “I’d like to take you out again, Holly.”
The door opening up from behind me interrupts my line of thoughts, and when I turn around, I see Rachael standing in the doorway. She glances between the two of us. “Holly, is everything okay?”
“Y-y-yeah. Yes. Everything’s fine.” I glance back to Brandon and realize that he’s still waiting for me to answer him.
“So, what do you say?” The uncertainty in his eyes and the anxiousness within his voice are definitely not something I was expecting to hear or see, especially from him.
“Um … sorry.” I answer and watch as a frown forms over his lips. “I don’t think so, Brandon.” He rakes a hand through his hair again, and the brightness that was showing in his eyes just a few seconds ago has completely vanished. He nods at the two of us, then turns around and begins to slowly walk away, with his shoulders now slouching down in defeat.
I walk past Rachael and head straight up to the first floor without saying another word. I know that I’ve made the rig
ht decision. I don’t fool around. He does. It wouldn’t work. We wouldn’t work.
He looked upset, though it could just be because his ego is feeling slightly deflated. Convincing myself of this, I decide to banish all thoughts of this evening from my mind and try and get some sleep.
Sweet Kiss
Holly
“I’ll just have a latte, please,” I smile at the waitress and place the menu back down on the counter.
Naomi insisted that we meet up for breakfast, though I’ve never really had an overly large appetite first thing in the morning. We don’t usually meet so early on a Sunday, but I think the reason she messaged me so late last night about spending the morning together was because she’s dying to know how ‘the date,’ as she so puts it, went with Brandon last night.
After I’d walked away from him at the party on Friday, I filled her in on why I wanted to head home earlier than we’d planned, and what I’d seen in the bathroom. Once I’d told her about Brandon and Heather, she understood why I wasn’t so keen to stay. We’re best friends and tell each other everything.
“Let’s grab a table,” she says, pointing over to one of the booths by the window. I place my purse on the seat beside me and rest my elbows on the table, noticing the curiosity beaming in her eyes. “Well?”
“Well what?” I answer her question with one of my own. She hates it when I do this, but it’s quite entertaining to watch.
She shakes her head and rolls the sleeves of her green sweater midway up her arms, “You know what I’m asking, Holly! How was your ‘date’?” She raises her brow, and a mischievous grin forms over her mouth. “So, was he the gentleman that he so adamantly claims to be?”
My stomach becomes heavy when I think back to last night. I lean back in my seat and gaze out of the window. I hardly managed to get any sleep when I got home. All I could think about was how he looked before he walked away from me. That wasn’t the only thing, though. I’ve kissed guys before, of course I have, but kissing Brandon? Well, I liked it.
A lot.
“Holly? Earth to Holly!” I can hear her, but I really don’t know what to tell her. “He overstepped the boundaries, right? I knew he would. Typical guy. …” Her voice holds a bored tone as the waitress places our order number down on the table, before passing me my coffee.
I glance over to her and shrug my shoulders, “Actually, he didn’t.” She throws me a look of disbelief that soon changes to a more questioning one. “He asked me to go out with him again … but, I said no.”
“Are you serious?” she sounds intrigued and sits forward some more. “He asked you to go out again?” I nod at her question and give her a small smile. “Well, what did he do when you told him no?”
“He went home,” I answer, tipping the sweetener into my mug as the bell above the entrance door begins to chime. I lift my gaze, and that’s when I see him walking through with Neil and Ryan. I don’t believe this.
“That’s it? Well, it’s hardly the date of a lifetime. It actually sounds kinda boring—” I reach over and grab Naomi’s hand to gain her attention. I don’t need this right now. It’s bad enough that I’m seeing him so soon afterwards, but I don’t want him to hear our conversation, too. She narrows her eyes on me and then turns in her seat. “Oh. Well … this could be awkward.” She adds, while widening her eyes and grimacing slightly.
I watch him walk over to the counter behind Neil and Ryan, who both appear to be excited about something. Brandon picks up a menu, and although I try, I can’t seem to be able to bring my eyes away from him. I’ve already admitted that I find him attractive, but when he’s wearing a black leather jacket over a white tee with faded blue pants … wow.
“You’ve got a little drool just on your chin there,” Naomi laughs lightly and shakes her head again at me. Allowing my eyes to rest on the lukewarm latte in front of me, I pick up the spoon from the table and begin stirring it around. “Ah, I get it. You wanted to say yes.”
I raise my head and nod once, my eyes landing back over on the counter. Neil spots us and waves, drawing both Brandon and Ryan’s attention over on us at the same time. Brandon looks over, and although he’s a few feet away, I notice that his face drops slightly. After a couple of seconds, he smiles briefly and then turns back away.
Sitting straighter in my seat, I clear my throat, “What do you want to do today?” I ask Naomi, trying not to show that I’m affected by him being here. Though, I think it might be a little too late for that.
“Hey girls!” Ryan pulls up a chair, turns it around, and sits down on it, back to front. He’s wearing a huge grin as he glances between the two of us.
“You’re very chirpy for so early on a Sunday,” Naomi says. “What gives?” Neil and Brandon walk over behind him with their bottles of soda in hand, and Neil takes a seat beside Naomi. Brandon stays standing, and when I peek up from my coffee, I see Naomi throwing me a glare.
I move closer to the window to give Brandon some space to sit down, and notice from the corner of my eye that he hesitates before taking a seat beside me.
“We’re still buzzing from last night,” Ryan answers her with a wink. “There was a major gig on over in Seattle. It was fucking huge!”
“Who played?” she asks. She’s into her music, too, so him telling her this seems to have peeked her interest. They begin talking away about the different acts that performed on the main stage. Movement from underneath the table catches my attention, and I see Brandon’s leg jiggling almost uncontrollably.
The same conversation continues for at least another fifteen minutes, and not once have I been able to speak to Brandon about last night, or even managed to exchange one word with him.
“What about you guys? It must have been a pretty special date if big guy over here decided to bail on us!”
Thank fully the waitress arrives with the guys food order and interrupts Ryan’s inquisition.
I risk a quick glance at Brandon. He’s staring at the table and entwining his hands in his lap, “You were supposed to be going to the gig?” I lean over to him and ask quietly.
“Forget about it,” his voice is a soft whisper and he continues to stare right ahead of him. “It’s not a big deal.” His smile is tight when he finally faces me, sorrowful even.
He ditched a huge gig so he could take me out on a date? Now I feel really bad, “Listen—“
“I’m gonna head out. I’ve gotta meet Corey and the guys over at my place for practice in a little while,” he says as he stands, tapping Ryan and Neil on the shoulder a couple of times as they say their goodbyes. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”
As he leaves they shrug their shoulders at each other, and Neil throws me a questioning glance. When Brandon reaches the door, he looks over his shoulder and directly at me, though that’s all he does. He pauses for a brief moment and lets out a deep breath before making his way out onto the sidewalk.
“How was the meal?” Ryan asks, leaning forward and grabbing a knife and fork from the cutlery stand.
I lift my head as I question him, “The meal?”
“Yeah, with Brandon.” Does he mean the hotdog stand? “When we stopped by yesterday he told us that he’d made reservations at Rafael’s.” He’s speaking slowly as though he thinks I’ve gone insane or something.
“Oh, right …” Naomi and I exchange glances. At least I’m not the only one who’s confused right now. “It was … nice, yeah.” I tuck the loose strand of hair behind my ear and hope they don’t notice that I have no idea what they’re talking about.
“Holly, you alright?” Neil asks this time. “You look completely lost in thought over there.” I nod a yes as my answer, and silently thank Naomi for changing the subject back onto the headlining acts at the gig.
He took me to the funfair, so why would he tell his friends that he was taking me to Rafael’s for dinner?
Brandon
Through pure fucking frustration, I throw the notepad down on the garage floor, followed closely by
the pen I’d been using to write down some lyrics.
“Chill out, man. We’ll get there,” Corey takes a seat on one of the fold out chairs and leans his guitar up against the workshop table beside him. “It was always gonna take us a little time to get used to playing together.”
He’s right, but this isn’t what’s causing me to be in such a shit mood. I’m exhausted. Last night was the first Saturday that I’ve made it home before midnight in a long time, yet I actually feel a whole lot worse for arriving home early. I think I finally managed to catch some sleep at around four, maybe even five.
Yeah, you guessed it. Holly. Holly was playing on my mind when I got home and it made it impossible for me to switch off. I thought the date went well. But, I guess I was wrong. She kissed me back. It wasn’t as though I made her do it. I could tell she wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss her. I thought she would agree to go out with me again. And, not only that. I felt something.
See, usually when I’m with a girl, it’s fun while we fool around but I’m happy to walk away afterwards. But with Holly, I didn’t want to stop. I could’ve happily stayed on the sidewalk for the whole night kissing her if I was only given half the chance.
One minute I had her wrapped in my arms, and the next? The next she was bolting through her front yard like she wasn’t able to get away from me fast enough. I kept my hands to myself. I was on my best behavior. My hands stayed firmly on her waist the whole time. I didn’t even go for her breasts once. If you know me at all, then you’ll know that not having attempted to or having touched her breasts was a huge achievement for me to accomplish. And, yeah. I was pretty stoked with myself about this.
“Let’s take a break,” Sam calls over from behind the drums. “What do you say we meet back here at three?”
Misguided Truths: Part One Page 3