Misguided Truths: Part One

by Sarah Elizabeth

  “I think that’s everything,” I say, and take a final look around while grabbing the cabin key from my jacket pocket.

  “Holly?” Rachael steps forward and attempts to pass something over to me. When I look down to see what’s in her hand, an audible gulp escapes from my throat. “If he has no idea what you’re planning then it’s likely he won’t have any with him.”

  Condoms.

  Inhaling a deep breath, I accept the small, square shaped box from her before turning around and walking towards the bedroom at the back of the cabin. I open the top drawer of the nightstand that’s on the left hand side of the bed, and stare at the packet for a few seconds before closing it back up.

  “Are you sure you’re ready?” I hear Rachael speak behind me, but don’t turn around. I gaze out of the window and take in the breathtaking view of the lake. Tomorrow, we’ll wake up together and be able to see this very view from the bed.

  “Yes. I’m ready, Rach,” I finally turn to face her and see that she’s studying me. “I love him.” I reassure her.

  She nods and walks over to stand beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder while giving me a small squeeze. “Then it’ll be amazing.”

  I glance to the side to look at her and see that she’s smiling at me, “Yeah. I know it will be.”

  ***

  On our way back from the cabin, I called Naomi and arranged to meet with her for lunch. Brandon messaged to say that he’d meet with me at three o’clock, so I still have a little time to catch up with her before he arrives.

  We decided to meet inside the small coffee shop on the lower level of the mall at two o’clock, though it’s almost two thirty already.

  “Sorry!” I apologize to her as I slide into the booth, sitting myself on the seat opposite to her. “The traffic was crazy.”

  “That’s okay,” she pushes the chocolate milkshake over the table towards me with a knowing smile. Raising her eyebrows suggestively, she continues. “So, tonight’s the nig—”

  “Ladies!” Ryan’s voice interrupts her as both he and Neil approach our table. “Mind if we join you?”

  We both move over to give them some room to sit down. Neil takes a seat beside Naomi, and Ryan makes himself comfortable in the seat next to me.

  We sit and talk for a while, mainly about Neil and Ryan’s upcoming trip to Europe. They sound really excited about exploring other cultures and a small part of me is envious of the both of them.

  I still have another year left of high school before I graduate, but I’d love to travel for a while before going onto college.

  “Here comes lover boy!” Naomi’s voice draws me away from my thoughts, and I lean around Ryan to look for him.

  He’s walking through the entrance doors with the rest of the band, and I see him eagerly glancing around the place. When his eyes land on mine, he beams one of his widest smiles solely over on me. My breath catches and my heart rate picks up its speed.

  His tight, short sleeved black tee and baggy khaki pants make him look edible. His hair isn’t styled in its usual chunky spikes, but instead, it’s sweeping over his forehead and resting on his eyebrows.

  While the rest of the band walk straight over to place their orders, Brandon heads directly over to our table, “Rye.” He says, with a slight sternness in his voice while raising his brow at him.

  Ryan immediately takes the hint and stands, allowing Brandon to slide in and sit beside me before he sits back down on the edge of the booth.

  “Happy Anniversary,” he leans over and whispers into my ear as he places his arm firmly around my shoulders. He begins to nuzzle into my neck, which sends warm, delicious tingles throughout my entire body.

  “Oh, come on, guys. Get a room!” Ryan teases as he rests his elbows on the table.

  Naomi begins to giggle, and as she opens her mouth to speak, I kick her leg under the table as a warning. Her eyes widen, and her mouth drops open with astonishment.

  “What’s goin’ on?” Brandon glances between the two of us with a quizzical look entering his eyes.

  “Nothing,” I answer him with a smile, and watch as his eyes begin to narrow on me with suspicion. I turn to whisper in his ear. “I um … I have a small surprise for you, that’s all.”

  He leans away slightly and searches my eyes again. Biting down on his bottom lip, a small smile etches over his lips, “What kind of a surprise?”

  I feel my cheeks beginning to heat and continue to stare into his eyes, though before I can answer him, his cell phone starts playing ‘My Time’ by ‘Fabolous and Jeremih’.

  “Hold that thought, I’ll be right back,” he places a quick kiss on my lips after checking the caller ID, and then leaves the table, summoning Corey, Gaz, and Sam to follow him as he walks out to the sidewalk to take the call.

  I take a sip of my milkshake and listen to Naomi moaning about having to babysit for her kid sister again tonight. A few minutes have passed by, and when I look up, I see the four of them walking back over to join us.

  My smile falters when I see Brandon raking a hand through his hair. He looks stressed about something. He always does this when he’s upset.

  He briefly makes eye contact as he takes his seat beside me, though the frown over his lips and the sorrowful look in his eyes is making my stomach churn.

  “What is it?” I take a hold of his hand as I ask, and peer over towards Corey, Gaz, and Sam. They’re smiling brightly and seem really happy about something, though I can’t hear exactly what they’re saying as they chat with Ryan and Neil.

  “Holl’s, it was the manager from the bar we’re playing at tonight … they, um … one of the other bands cancelled and they’ve had to make some changes to the slot times …” he begins. His voice is low, and his eyes aren’t anywhere as bright as they were when he first walked in here. “They asked us to play from eight … ‘til eleven.”

  “What?” I hadn’t expected my voice to be quite so loud, drawing the attention of everyone seated around our table. “Well, you told them no, right?”

  He turns to look at me, and his eyes are filling with regret. “What? No. We told them yes. I mean, it’s our first gig and—”

  “Brandon, it’s our two month anniversary!”

  “Holl’s, we couldn’t turn it down. Listen, tomorrow. We can always do something—” he stops talking when I stand up and try to squeeze by him. “Where are you going? Holly, please? Come on, be reasonable here.” He places his hands on either side of my waist, though I instantly shrug him away from me.

  “Reasonable?” I practically choke out. “You think that I’m the one who’s being unreasonable here?” I shake my head as I exit the booth and make my way towards the exit.

  I understand how important the gig is tonight, I really do. But, why does our relationship always have to come second? This isn’t the first time he’s put the band before me. Before us. And, I’m pretty certain that it won’t be the last.

  The cold air hits me as soon as I step outside, and I wrap my arms around myself to try and keep warm. The door swings open as I lean against the window, and I see Brandon walking over until he’s standing right in front of me.

  “What’s goin’ on?” he lifts his hand and brushes his fingers across my cheek. I break my gaze from his searching eyes and move my head to the side. “Holly, talk to me.”

  “You really have to ask what’s wrong, Brandon? Really?” he takes a step away from me and lowers his hands, now placing them in the front of his pants pockets.

  “This is huge for the band, Holl’s. It’s fucking huge. What am I supposed to do? You want me to tell them no and let the guys down?”

  He sounds frustrated, “But it’s okay to let me down?” My voice cracks when I ask.

  “We need this gig, Holly,” he speaks quietly through his teeth without looking at me. “It’s important.”

  “More important than our relationship?” I ask. I’m starting to feel hurt from his words. He shakes his head, keeping his eyes focused on the
ground, and I hear him let out a sigh.

  I look over my shoulder and through the window towards our friends. Neil’s turned around in his seat and is watching us, mouthing the words ‘You okay?’ over at me. I give him a small smile and nod, though I’m sure he’s still not overly convinced that I’m telling the truth from the way his eyebrows are now furrowing on the two of us.

  “Right, let’s get back to it!” Corey says enthusiastically as he, Gaz, and Sam exit through the doors. “Looks like we’ve got a few more songs to perfect before tonight!” He pats Brandon on the shoulder as he walks behind him and makes his way towards the white truck.

  Brandon turns to look at me, and I’m not overly sure whether he’s angry or upset, maybe even a bit of both. He leans forward and whispers in my ear, “Please don’t be mad with me, Holly.” Placing a kiss on my cheek, I don’t reciprocate. I’m finding it hard to keep myself from crying through the disappointment I’m feeling.

  “If I was to tell you that I have something special planned for tonight, would that help you change your mind?” he lifts his head, but his eyes answer for him and are telling me that he’s already made his decision. “I didn’t think so.” My voice is quiet, and I inwardly curse myself when I feel my bottom lip beginning to tremble.

  “Holl’s,” he steps forward, but I move away and open the door to go back inside. “I’ll call you when we’re on a break.” He says from behind me.

  I pause in the doorway and turn back around. Shrugging my shoulders is the only thing I give him. He breaks his gaze from mine and turns back around, slowly making his way towards the van while shaking his head.

  “What was all that about?” Naomi rests her elbows on the table and leans towards me as I take my seat again. “Did you guys just have your first argument?”

  I rest against the seat and nod at her, not trusting my voice to be strong if I say anything. We’ve never spoken to each other in this way before. I know it wasn’t exactly a full on blazing shouting match, but it still hurts. We’ve never disagreed on anything.

  Tonight was supposed to be our night.

  Ours.

  Regrets

  Holly

  His warm arms are wrapped firmly around my waist, and his breaths are heavy.

  I feel sick.

  No.

  Numb.

  I feel numb.

  Yesterday morning, I was so happy. So excited. So hopelessly in love with Brandon.

  Brandon.

  I close my eyes and feel the tears slowly escaping down my cheeks and onto the pillow, but this does nothing to help block out the memories from what happened last night.

  You deserve someone who wants to spend every second of their time with you, Holly.

  He hasn’t changed.

  Just one. One drink. One more.

  Another …

  Don’t think about anything.

  Just relax.

  A sob escapes from my lips and only makes me squeeze my eyes closed even more.

  “Hey, are you awake?”

  I swallow, hard. The bed shifts, but I keep my eyes closed. I need … I don’t know what I need. I wish I could turn back the clock and that last night never happened. No. I want to turn it back to before the summer. I knew I should have taken a step back and listened to my instincts. Deep down I knew he would do it eventually. I knew he couldn’t be faithful. But then, I’m no better than him anymore, am I?

  I hesitantly open my eyes when I hear the bedroom door close and footsteps disappearing down the hallway on the other side of the wall.

  My head hurts. Everything hurts. I always thought that my first time would be … different, somehow. Gentle. Tender. Amazing. With someone I was madly in love with. But, it wasn’t. It wasn’t anything like I’d imagined it would be.

  I sit myself up and glance around the room for my purse. The clock on his nightstand is reading 07:12.

  Damn. I need to get home.

  I notice my cell on the floor beside the bed, and drop in into my purse while looking around for my clothes. Rubbing my eyes, I blink until my vision becomes clearer.

  “Sleeping beauty is finally awake.”

  I risk a glance in his direction and see him standing in the doorway, wearing only a pair of white boxer shorts. I fight with the bile that’s in my throat so I can try and find my voice to be able to speak.

  “Here, you might wanna take these,” he sits beside me and attempts to pass me a couple of painkillers and a glass of water. My stomach rolls when my eyes land down to where he’s now brushing his fingers over the top of my thighs.

  “I need to go,” I tell him and reach for my clothes. Once I’ve pulled my shirt on and stepped into my jeans, I go to stand, but his hands are now gripping onto my waist and stopping me from going anywhere.

  “Go?” his smile has turned into a deep frown. “Go where?”

  “I shouldn’t be here … I don’t know wh—“

  “Holly, it’s okay. I’ll be right there beside you when you tell him about us.”

  “What?” My mouth falls wide open and it takes me a couple of seconds to compose myself. “I-I-I—”

  He stands and tries to wrap his hands fully around me, but I push him away and step out from his grasp. Is he crazy?

  “Last night was—”

  “A mistake! It was a mistake, Neil!” The calmness has long since disappeared from my voice. “I have to go.” I don’t wait for him to say anything else. I grab my purse and practically run from his room and out from his house as fast as I possibly can.

  On my way home all I can think about is how, twenty four hours ago, I was so happy. Brandon and I were so happy. He said that there was no hurry and that he’d be patient. That he’d wait until I was ready. He told me that he’d wait forever for me.

  He lied.

  All the times when he said he was rehearsing with the band? Well, he wasn’t. Neil told me this last night when we were on our way back from the movies, and he even showed me a text message that Brandon had sent to him last week. He’d told Neil that his patience was beginning to run out and that he didn’t care where he got it, he just needed it and soon. He said that he’d waited long enough and was getting beyond frustrated. Then Neil told me about another message he received while me, Neil, and Ryan were at the movies. Brandon had said that he’d just had the best night of his life and the long wait had been fully worth it.

  When I asked Neil what Brandon was referring to, he told me that Brandon hooked up with some girl from college, and messaged to ask him if he and Ryan wanted to meet after the gig for a party back at her house. Neil admitted that he wasn’t really surprised because Brandon had already mentioned that she’d been flirting endlessly with him ever since he started his classes. I could tell that he didn’t want to say anything else, but I knew he was hiding something else. It turned out, he was. Brandon had taken the girl around the back of the building during the band’s first break and … I don’t want to even think about it anymore, let alone say it.

  He betrayed me. He played me. And, it hurts. I believed every word that left his lips and thought that we were in our relationship for the long haul. That’s why I’d arranged for us to use the cabin. I wanted him to be my first, maybe even my last. But, well, it’s never going to be that way now.

  My chest feels tight and tears are still falling down my cheeks as I walk through the front gate. Wiping them away with the back of my hands, I feel frustrated and take a deep breath before stepping through the front door of my home.

  The first thing I do when I reach the second floor is head to my room to grab some fresh clothes. I need to get in the shower and wash last night off of me.

  Rachael storms out of her room just as I reach my door and she looks furious, “Where the hell have you been?” Her eyes are so wide that they look as though they’re about to completely pop out of their sockets. “We’ve been worried sick!”

  “Not now, Rachael.” I say glumly and push my door open. Dropping my purse on my desk, I
walk over to my closet, stopping midway when something catches my eye. I grab the folded piece of paper from the end of my bed and turn around.

  Rachael has folded her arms across her chest and has begun to tap her right foot on the floor. “Where did you sleep? You know—“

  “At a friends from high school,” I say quietly, just hoping that she doesn’t ask me which friends place it actually was.

  “You should have called or messaged or something!” she admonishes me. When I glance down to the note, I see Brandon’s name at the bottom. Confused, I look back to my sister and she gives me a small, sympathetic smile. “He told me you guys had a fight. Are you okay?” Her voice is softer now as she walks over to stand in front of me.

  “Brandon was here?” I try to hide my surprise from my voice, but I fail. “When?”

  She shakes her head and a wider smile spreads over her lips, “From around midnight until three this morning. I honestly thought he’d never leave. Listen, I know how important last night was for you, Holly. I’m sorry.” She gives my arm a slight squeeze before wrapping hers around my shoulders. “He didn’t know what you had planned at all, did he?”

  “No … um, no. He didn’t … Rach, can we do this later? I’m exhausted.”

  “Just do me one small favor?” she raises her eyebrows at me as she asks. “Call him.” She smiles again and I wait for her to walk out of my room before unfolding the piece of paper.

  Holly,

  I’ve tried calling you like a million times and sent a few messages but your cells switched off.

  Look, I’m sorry. I know you’re upset but can you call me or something? I’ve been going out of my mind over here. I just wanna know that you’re okay. That we’re okay.

  I hate how we left things.

  I miss you.

  Brandon

  XXXX

  I pick up my purse and take my cell phone out. It takes a couple of seconds after I’ve switched it on to load, but when it does, I’m inundated with missed calls and messages. All are from Brandon, except for a couple from Rachael.