by Jordan Marie
“But what about the headache he had, doctor? The pain was so bad he could barely walk,” Hope interjects.
“Ms. Hard—”
“Lucas. I uh… didn’t take my husband’s last name.”
“I see,” he answers. “Well quite simply, your husband has suffered a major trauma,” he answers and then turns his attention back to me. “Aden, sometimes during the healing process these things can occur, because there was some strain and swelling. It’s perfectly normal. I’m going to prescribe some medicine to help with the pain and steroids to help with the issues you’re having.”
“You said healing process, though. Do you think I will get my memory back?”
The doctor studies me for a moment and then his face goes a little grim as he tightens his mouth before he answers. “There’s no way of knowing. It’s been close to what… a month now? Honestly, it might still. You could just be sitting there and something triggers it and it will all come rushing back or…
“Or?”
“You need to be prepared. The simple truth is you might never get your memory back.”
“I see,” I answer quietly, not quite sure how I feel about that.
“I’m sorry I can’t give you a more concise diagnosis, or a more favorable one. I appreciate that it has to be…difficult to lose memory of who you are and everything you’ve experienced in life,” he says and I think on his words.
“It is in one way, but I have my wife and son. We’ll slowly find our way. It would have been much worse without them in my life and I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if I had fallen away from them and Hope thought I just abandoned her,” I tell him and I have thought a lot about that. The kind of man I was before, if I had disappeared she probably wouldn’t have thought a thing about it.
“True. I can see how that can be a comfort to you. I’ve got a few more patients to see. I’ll send the nurse in here with your prescriptions and discharge papers,” he says, standing up and reaching out his hand.
“Thank you doctor.”
“I still want you to follow up with the therapist. Sometimes when dealing with neurological issues, medical technology falls short, where therapy can help.”
“You really think a shrink can help me get my memory back?” I ask, doubtfully.
Hope tries to pull her hand away, but I don’t let her. I know she’s scared I’ll never remember her or the life we’ve had. I’m kind of glad I don’t. I can’t go back and fix things from the past, but I can prove to her I’m a better man now.
“There’s no way of knowing, but I do think that a therapist can help you adjust better—both of you actually.”
“I’ll check into it,” I tell him. I’m not sure I will…but I will think about it.
“Please don’t forget to stop by admissions,” he says and then leaves.
“I’m sorry, Aden,” Hope whispers. I look down to see tears slowly streaking from her eyes. I wanted to give her a good day, not upset her further.
“It’s going to be okay, honey. I wasn’t kidding. I have you and Jack and that’s all I need.”
“Maybe you wouldn’t feel that way if you had your memories,” she whispers, her head down. “Things weren’t…good before your accident, Aden. You didn’t even like me much.”
“Then I was an idiot.”
“Aden, you say that now, but—”
“Stop this bullshit, Hope,” I rumble, getting frustrated. “You think back to last night, how sweet it was, Hope.”
“Aden—it was sex. I mean, you didn’t even…”
“It was beautiful and for the first time since this mess began …” I stop, not knowing exactly how to put it into words. “Something felt familiar … It felt like …”
“Sex.”
“Like I was where I belonged,” I whisper to her. Hope’s brown eyes go soft and I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and pull her to me for a quick kiss. “It’s going to be okay, Hope,” I reassure her when we break apart.
“I know,” she whispers, but she doesn’t look like she believes it.
39
Hope
I want to cry. I need to. Instead, I’m sitting in the car with Aden and pretending everything is okay—when inside it feels like I’m dying. Today it felt like all that dynamite I’ve been sitting on had a lit match thrown into it and I barely stomped out the fire in time.
I avoided going to the admissions office, but it’s only a matter of time before they demand information I can’t give them. It’s only a matter of time before Aden himself begins demanding that information.
I need to talk to White. I need to find out what kind of life Aden had before coming here, because suddenly in that small room at the hospital something occurred to me.
Aden could be married.
I know nothing about him—besides the fact he was a major asshole. What if I slept with a married man? He didn’t say he was married, but then that’s not something a man who cheats would tell you right before the moment. A good man wouldn’t do that kind of thing and the Aden I’ve been with since the accident is definitely a good man. But the Aden before wasn’t. He called Jack a bastard… that is not a good man. I’m starting to get a headache thinking about all this crap.
“You’re awfully quiet over there.”
“Just concentrating on driving,” I answer, lying. I’m not even sure how I made it out of town. I don’t even remember the traffic.
“That’s another thing. We need to go by the courthouse next trip to town, or maybe the social security office. I need to get my documentation back together. It’s time to move forward and I’m doing that first by getting my driver’s license back and driving.”
“Aden, I don’t mind driving.”
“Yeah, but I mind it. If I want to take my woman out, I shouldn’t have to make her drive. Shit, I might as well just hand you my balls now.”
“Oh stop.”
“I’m serious.”
“I am too and the world is safer without you driving.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I’m just saying that you were scary behind the steering wheel. You hate driving really. It makes you all nervous. You once slammed into the ditch because you swore a truck was coming at you head on.”
“Hope—”
“There wasn’t even a truck there.”
“Hope—”
“Then, there was that time you took a wrong turn and ended up on a one-way street.”
“Hope!”
“Going the wrong way.”
“I’m getting my license.”
“Aden—”
“And if we keep getting business like we have been, we’re getting a new car.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my little car,” I grumble, though when I look over and see how he practically has to fold himself to even sit in my Volkswagen, I can concede how he probably hates it—a lot.
“Not if you like riding in a sardine can,” Aden grumbles.
“You’re being very grumpy,” I tell him, though I’m glad. It has helped getting my mind off all of the lies—not to mention the hell that is waiting for me someday… someday soon.
“I’m sorry, honey. Let’s go get some lunch and see if we can salvage some of this day.”
“You sure?”
“Definitely. Let’s drive to the Falls. We might even get some sightseeing in while we’re at it.”
“Aden, that might be too much. You just had a major episode,” I caution.
“It’s fine. We have a babysitter and someone to watch the motel. Let’s not waste the day, Hope. Who knows when we will ever get a chance to do this again,” he says.
His words have more truth to them than even he knows. I have to confess and come clean about everything. I just need to talk to White first. I want to spend a special day with him…
It might be the only one I get.
40
Aden
“Have you had a good day?” I ask Hop
e. She seems to have enjoyed herself, but she has also been troubled all day.
“It was the best,” she reaches over the table we’re sitting at and touches my hand. She starts to pull it back, but I don’t let her.
“You’re preoccupied,” I tell her.
“Aden, I need to… well…”
“Spill it, Hope. What’s weighing on your mind so heavily. You know, besides what I look like naked.”
“God, you’re crazy. I’ll remind you that I already know what you look like naked.”
“Well it’s been awhile. You could have forgotten,” I respond, unable to keep the smirk off my face. “You might need a refresher course.”
“Course? Are you a class now?”
“Oh, now you’re talking.”
“Huh?”
“It’s good to know you have those kinds of fantasies.”
“I’m afraid you’re losing me, Aden,” she says, her gaze studying me warily.
“Tonight, you and me. You can be the student who forgot her homework and I’ll be the teacher who has to punish you,” I tell her, my voice dropping down to a throaty whisper, as I lean across the table to get closer to her.
We’ve spent the day sightseeing through Twin Falls and now we’re at a small burger joint, just outside of town. It’s been a great day, despite our rocky start. I want to try and get closer to Hope. For whatever reason, it feels like she’s trying to keep me at arm’s length. I need to break through the wall she’s building between us. I’m hoping today helps.
“Uh… I’m thinking the answer to that is a no,” she says, her face coloring. She smiles though and I think I’d do almost anything to see Hope smile.
“Okay, if you insist you can be the teacher, but I draw the line at you paddling me. That is not happening.”
“Quit trying to embarrass me,” she grumbles.
“Honey, I’m not. I’m being completely serious with you. Actually, I think to prove it to you tonight, I’m going to demand you strip and lean over the bed and I’ll spank you until you beg me to stop…or give you something else,” I tell her, and I don’t quieten my voice. Not even when the waitress comes by and refills our drinks. Hope turns a deep pink now, and I can’t stop myself from wondering if that’s what her ass will do when I spank it.
“Aden!” she cries.
“I say go for it, lady,” the waitress adds and I lean back, smiling broadly as Hope sputters without really replying. When we’re alone again she narrows her eyes.
“I can’t believe you. You did that on purpose.”
“Did what?” I ask innocently.
“You are trying to embarrass me.”
“I like when you blush,” I tell her unapologetically. “Besides talking about having sex with your husband should never embarrass you.”
“The old Aden didn’t like talking about things in public. What happened in our bedroom was private,” she scolds me.
“I think we’ve established that the old Aden was an idiot,” I answer easily with a shrug. “Besides apparently we never had much of a sex life.”
“We did. With your medication, I mean,” she answers, blinking up at me.
“Well luckily, new Aden doesn’t need medication. And I’ve got to tell you honey, if getting my memory back means I stop getting permanent hard-ons around you, then I don’t want it back.”
“I… you get permanent hard-ons around me?” she asks, clearly shocked.
“Honey, I have zipper impressions on my cock that are probably engrained in the skin now, thanks to you.”
“You don’t have to say that.”
“I’m telling the truth. My balls are fucking blue from the need to fuck you, Hope. Trust me, I don’t need to lie about that.”
“Then why didn’t you… you know?”
“What?”
“Last night, why didn’t you let me please you?”
“Because last night was for you. I’ll get mine soon.”
“You sound awful sure of yourself,” she grumbles, clearly not liking the fact that I know she will give me what I want when I ask—and how I ask.
“Babe. You remember what you were like last night. You lit up like a Roman candle.”
She sighs. “Can we talk about something else?”
“I like this topic.”
“I see the answer is no,” she huffs.
“You could take me in the bathroom and show me your tits. That might get me through for a bit and I’ll let you change the subject.”
“Fine, we’ll talk about sex,” she growls.
“So we’re saying it’s a no, to the whole tits in the bathroom scenario.”
She ignores me, and there’s mischief in her eyes when she grins at me. That should have been my first warning.
“You used to like it when I spanked you.”
“What? No way. You’re talking crazy talk now.”
“Seriously you used to beg me to spank you and punish you for being a bad boy.”
“I did not.”
“Oh, but you did. I didn’t like it, but I never judged you for it.”
“Hope, there is no way this is true.”
“Of course it is. Why would I say it, if it wasn’t?”
“I know it can’t be.”
“But then, you don’t remember do you? You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about it. I mean, pleasure is an individual thing, however you find it, you find it really.”
“I might not be able to remember, but I know enough about my reactions to you to say unequivocally that if any spanking was done, I was the one doing—”
“Getting the spanking,” she interrupts. “Although, you liked it best when I used the plug and—”
“It’s been a really nice day. How about you stop talking now before that’s no longer true,” I growl. What she’s saying feels completely foreign to me. In fact, the more she keeps talking about it, it feels like my dick is trying to crawl into my balls to hide.
“Are you embarrassed, Aden?” she asks innocently. A little too innocent.
“Why you witch!” I start, but before I can scold her further we’re interrupted.
“Oh my God! Bonnie! Did you see this guy? It’s Bolt!” An old woman who looks like she’s on the wrong side of eighty and leaning on her walker cries excitedly. I would have ignored it, but she’s standing in front of our table.
“Doreen, that’s not Bolt Lawson,” another woman answers. I turn to look at her and she looks to be close to the same age as Doreen, but she doesn’t have a walker. They’re both wearing similar nylon jogging suits and fanny packs. Older tourists, which apparently are popular in Twin Falls, as we’ve seen them all day long. This is the first time however, that I’ve been singled out.
“I’m telling you this is Bolt Lawson, that fireman!”
“Uh… ladies…” I start.
“I’m telling you it’s not. This guy has too much gray and he looks way too old.”
Wow. Okay, that was like a sucker punch. Nothing like being called old by a lady who could be your grandmother.
“But it is! Bolt, sugar, you did the right thing.”
“I did?” I ask, by this time completely confused.
“Yes! Krystal was all wrong for you. Anyone could see it.”
“She wasn’t wrong for him Doreen! She was a cheating cow!”
“Well, that makes her all wrong for Bolt!”
“For the last time, that’s not Bolt.”
“It is! I can prove it,” Doreen says.
“You can?” Hope asks, her face almost completely devoid of color. Are these old ladies scaring her? They’re definitely strange, but generally harmless—well, unless Doreen decides she wants to beat me to death with her walker.
“I certainly can! Bolt, look at me with those bedroom eyes of yours and repeat after me,” Doreen instructs.
“Bedroom eyes?” I ask, looking at Hope for help, but she’s staring up at Doreen, oblivious.
“Say this,” Doreen instructs.
“Uh…”
“Doreen, honey, don’t you worry. I’m here to put your fire out.”
Hope gasps, and her eyes go large and then she laughs—which is better than her looking at Doreen like she might be a mass serial killer. Plus, I love Hope’s laugh. Doreen and Bonnie seem harmless so I decide to go with it.
“Doreen. Come here and let me put your fire out,” I tell her, trying to do my best to inject charm and be as over-the-top as I think this situation calls for. Which is to say—a lot.
Doreen’s eyes widen and then she sighs.
“Okay Bonnie, you’re right. That’s not Bolt.”
“Told you! He wouldn’t even pass for that has-been Dr. McDreamy!”
“Well duh, McDreamy died! I should have known Bolt wouldn’t show up here in Idaho anyways.”
“I’m sorry, Doreen,” I say, feeling like I let the old lady down somehow, because she looks so dejected.
“Whatever,” she grumbles walking past the table, now completely through with me.
“What was that about, do you think?” I ask Hope, once Doreen and Bonnie make their way to the other end of the restaurant.
“I have no idea. That was beyond strange,” Hope answers.
“She thinks you’re that movie star. The one with that movie that came out a few months ago. You know the one, about the fireman whose girlfriend was cheating on him with another man? The guys turned out to be a serial killer,” the waitress chimes in helpfully.
“Uh… I must have missed that one,” I respond.
“It sounds kind of lame,” Hope shrugs.
“It was. That’s why it bombed at the box office,” the waitress answers. “She is right about one thing, though.”
“What’s that?”
“You do kind of look like the actor that played Bolt.”
“Wow really? Hear that honey? I look like a famous heartthrob actor,” I joke, telling Hope with a leering look, that in turn makes her roll her eyes.
“You’re a lot older than he is, though,” the waitress adds, before going to the next table.