by Jordan Marie
“Arrested? No. He’s taking her there as a surprise!”
“What kind of a surprise? The kind that involves handcuffs?” White growls. “Let’s go Mom, I told you we should have come here sooner,” he says, already acting like a wet hornet out for revenge. That’s the problem with my boys, all of them really. They shoot first and then look surprised when it’s their own foot they’ve shot off.
“Well, it doesn’t involve handcuffs… unless they’re into that kind of thing later I guess. I don’t know them well enough. He took her down to the courthouse to renew their wedding vows.
“Renew their wedding vows?!?!?”
This rather shrewish cry comes from a woman who just came through the front door. She’s a tall, slim woman with perfect hair, makeup, and nails. She’s wearing a designer outfit that is more fit for Milan fashion shows than Clancy, Idaho. She even has on black gloves and dark sunglasses—despite the fact it’s cloudy and looks like the sky may open up and rain buckets at any moment. She’s wearing a large brimmed black hat too.
I’m a pretty good judge of character and I think it’s safe to say I wouldn’t let this woman walk in my yard without getting out my rifle… I look down at her shoes and frown. Well, I might let her walk through the yard in those heels just to see what happens when she steps in one of Hamburger’s presents—Hamburger being my pet cow who leaves his patties anywhere he wants—and usually in the first place you go to step.
“Aden is getting married?” This comes from White’s buddy, Gavin. I recognize him and Casey right away, behind him is a long, tall, cool drink of water, with skin like milk chocolate. I always did have a sweet tooth. I might be old, but I still like looking—figure I always will.
“Well kind of, it’s a renewal… they’re at the courthouse in town,” the woman says, starting to look worried. I know the feeling, because I’m starting to get worried about my little Hope. There are too many vultures in this room and the scariest one is wearing a black hat. A woman like that could chew up and spit out my girl.
Everyone leaves the lobby at once. Casey leads the way, with Gavin and mystery man on her heels. I grin as she somehow manages to push back against the woman—the one I don’t like— and make sure they all get out in front of her. The lady lands on her ass and White and I go around her, quickly.
White piles into his truck and I’m right there with him.
It looks like this might be a race to the courthouse. Nice to see that my niece keeps things lively—just like my own kids.
I’m not sure I could deal with boring limbs in my family tree.
50
Hope
“This time… Make me your wife? But, Aden… you said you knew the truth?”
“I do and it’s okay. Hell, if the roles were reversed I would have probably done the same.”
“You would have?”
“Well, obviously not exactly the same because you don’t have a dick… but similar.”
“What is this fascination with your dick?” I cry.
“I got’ dick?” Jack questions in the background, and I hold my head down.
“Wait? Aden knows the truth, finally?” Daria asks.
“What truth?” Aden asks, “Does Daria know? Did you tell her that my dick was broken?” he asks, confused, but sadly, I’m not.
“You don’t know…” I whisper, that sick feeling hitting my stomach. “You don’t know,” I repeat, my stomach churning. I’m going to hurl. I know I am. “Aden we’re not really married,” I whisper, thinking that’s the easiest place to start.
“Hope what are you talking about?”
“You are not getting married!” White bursts in the door and then freezes when he sees us.
“White, shut the fuck up! Hope, what do you mean we’re not married?” Aden growls.
I jerk my face up to Aden and then to White, Ida Sue and a couple others that I don’t know.
“Aden, buddy,” this comes from one of the incredibly good-looking men that are standing behind White. Aden turns to look at them and I can physically see the shock that comes over his face. He stumbles, as if he suffered a physical blow, but then rights himself quickly.
“Gavin,” he murmurs. That’s the moment I know he remembers. It’s written all over his face. “What did you do, Hope?” he asks, and it’s a hoarse whisper and one that feels like it was ripped out of his soul. “What the fuck did you do?” he asks, in that same horrible tone that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
“Aden, I can explain, I swear.”
“What the fuck did you do?!?!?!” he repeats, only this time it’s not a sick whisper. It’s a scream and he looks at me with so much anger—so much hate, that it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
“Aden… it was a mistake I swear. I didn’t mean…”
“A mistake?!!?!”
“Yes. They wouldn’t let me see you and I was worried. The paramedics assumed I was your wife and I just…”
“You just lied. You lied to everyone! You lied to me!” he yells, though a decimal or two lower than before. “You fucking lied about everything! Everything that came out of your damn mouth!” he growls.
“I didn’t mean to and I tried to tell you the truth. I did, but things just kept…”
“You fucking cunt. You played God with my life!”
“Daddy’s mad,” Jack whispers, burying his head in Daria’s neck.
That’s when I knew. I don’t know how I knew, but I did. I saw it on his face, I saw it in his eyes and I saw it in the way his body braced for a blow. Of all the things that was hurting him the most. Looking at Jack…. Seeing Jack and hearing him call him daddy… that’s the final blow. That’s the death blow. The one there would be no coming back from.
“You let me believe I had a child. You let me love him!” he growls.
“Aden, please let me explain,” I cry, but even as I say the words I know it’s too late. He turns to push his way through his friends.
“Aden buddy, give her a chance—” White starts, but Aden doesn’t let him finish. Instead, he punches him. He gives White just half of his fury and slams his fist in White’s face so hard that blood instantly springs forth, causing White to fall back against the doorframe.
“You stay the fuck away from me and you keep your fucking family away from me,” he growls, just as he’s about to walk through the door another woman bursts in and she does it with four other men following her, all toting cameras. That’s when I knew a horrible situation I wouldn’t have thought could get worse—just did.
“Aden McIntyre! Is this how you handle a situation? Leave the set of our new movie, default on contractual obligations and run off in the middle of nowhere and marry some girl when we’re engaged! You’ve not only ruined my career you’re breaking my heart!” the woman cries.
Engaged? White said there was no woman… Oh God, what have I done?
Cameras are going off, taking in everything—the whole scene, but Aden ignores it. He looks down at the woman and the look on his face, the tone of his voice, all of it combined, chills the whole room.
“Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Way.”
He enunciates each word singularly, concise and cold as steel. Each word could be a lethal weapon, such is the intent behind them. The woman stumbles backwards and then Aden leaves. He doesn’t even look back at me. He says nothing. He just leaves.
Finally, the bile I’ve been holding back, won’t be denied. I find the nearest trash can and I vomit, as the realization of what I’ve done and how bad this is starts to seep in.
“What is it with this family and women throwing up on their wedding days?” Aunt Ida Sue whispers, holding my hair out of the way.
I can’t answer, I’m too busy emptying my stomach. When I’m done I can do nothing but collapse against her.
And cry.
51
Hope
1 month later
“Baby girl you’re going to have to snap yourself out of this,” my au
nt chastises me, much as she does every day.
“He hates me, Aunt Ida,” I whisper, the words doing what they do every time I think them or say them. Makes me sick.
“He doesn’t.”
“I’d say he does, and he has a reason to,” this comes from Daria. I look over at her. Our friendship has been strained for a while. I know she was upset at me for not telling Aden the truth, but since the mess at the courthouse it’s been worse. Mostly because of me, and my reaction to her—which has somehow fed her anger. I haven’t had it out with her, because my heart hurts so much, I just can’t.
“If you hate me so much, just go Daria. I don’t need more stress right now.”
“That’s the problem, Hope. This isn’t about you. All you are seeing is your pain and hurt. What about what you’ve done to Aden and his life?”
“You don’t think I’m sick about that?”
“I think you’re so caught up in your pity party that it doesn’t even occur to you that you aren’t the wronged party here.”
“It’s not a pity party! Has it ever occurred to you that I’m so upset because I have lost the love of my life?”
“There you go again. Do you see, Hope? It’s all about you! What about the pain that Aden is going through? Or the fact that Jack keeps crying for him constantly.”
“All of that haunts me!” I scream. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t plan it. I was scared and then…”
“Then what?”
“I loved him! Okay! I know it was wrong, but I knew I was going to lose him and I just wanted more time!”
“But you—”
“I’m a selfish bitch! I know it! What you don’t get Daria is that when you love someone the thought of losing them takes away all rationality! All I could see was that I needed Aden and not just for me, but for him. He was miserable when we met, so miserable that he didn’t know how to function around me, Jack or anyone. He was happy and when I could make him laugh or smile, it felt like I could do anything. I wanted to give him everything. I wanted him to need me as much as I needed him… not because I’m selfish, or maybe because I was. Maybe that’s what love really is at its core—selfish. Because you want that person tied to you forever, you want to be everything to that person, because they’re everything to you! So maybe you’re right, I was selfish. I don’t know. What I do know is that this isn’t your business!”
“That! That right there! You see? You’ve shut me out. You want me to understand? Then why haven’t you talked to me? You’ve taken your anger and hurt out on me since the day Aden left!”
“Why wouldn’t I? You knew what Aden was going to do. You let him do it. You took my son to the courthouse. What did you think was going to happen?”
“I thought you’d finally get your head out of your ass and tell Aden the truth.”
“Exactly, but you let me walk blindly into that situation and you let my son be in a situation where he was hurt emotionally. You’re supposed to be my friend—my best friend and you helped bring the world down on me and my child!”
“I had too! I’ve been lied to! You don’t do that to someone! You don’t lie to them and make them think they have this wonderful life and then rip it away,” she cries and that’s when I realize what’s going on. Daria had been married. Daria had a good life with a man who she thought loved her, who worked long hours—she thought—so she could live the good life. Then one day she found out the guy didn’t work as hard as she believed. Instead he had another woman and a child two counties over and he was playing house there, while she thought he was on the road working. She had been played a fool and she didn’t like that I was lying to Aden—in that she really didn’t like it. My friend set me up for a fall, because I deserved it, and she knew and felt I deserved it. Which was fine. I’m a big girl. What is not fine, however, is that she did so at the expense of my son.
“You need to leave.”
“Hope—”
“I get it. I understand you’re right. I did deserve everything I got and more. What you need to understand is that Jack didn’t and while most of that is on my head, the fact that he loves you and you let him get that pain up close and personal is not alright. It’s so far from alright that I can’t even express it. So I get it, but you need to go.”
“I do love Jack,” she says.
“I know you do, but you didn’t protect him and he’s not an adult. He only needs people around who will protect him. I’ve had the other kind in my life when I was Jack’s age and I won’t allow people like that to touch him. I might have been a bad mother for a little while, but Jack’s all I have and I won’t let anyone hurt him for their own agenda.”
Daria looks at me, then at my aunt and she turns and leaves.
“Damn, I’m starting to think you have more excitement here than we do back in Mason,” Aunt Ida Sue says.
“You think I was wrong in what I just did?” I ask her.
“That’s not a simple question to answer, my girl.”
“I got time, seems like that’s all I got,” I whisper.
“You can’t see it now, but you have a lot more than that,” she tells me.
“I have Jack,” I agree.
“You have, and that’s more happy, in one little bundle, than some people ever get in their lives,” she answers, and I know she’s right—I do. I just wish…
“You’re right,” I answer, determined that I need to move forward. I don’t have a choice. I have Jack depending on me.
“Good, I can see you’re talking to yourself,” Aunt Ida Sue says, making me smile. She has a way of talking that you can’t help but love and enjoy. “Now, I’m not one to go pushing my two cents in here and there,” she begins, and at that I almost giggle. She is totally the kind of person who gives her two cents out. She does it loud and often—it’s one of her charms.
“But since you asked,” she continues, “I think the girl that just left this room has a big bunch of hurt inside of her and sometimes hurt can color our choices and turn them really black.
“Like mine did with Aden?”
“I wasn’t here, but I’m guessing from what White has said, and from the things you’ve been crying over that Aden had some hurts of his own and those caused him to lash out at you.”
“He did?”
“Yeah according to White and that pretty chocolate dessert he calls Titan. That man makes me want to be about thirty years younger,” she says with a wistful look in her eyes.
“Maybe we could focus…”
“Oh I’m focusing, dear. It’s just, even at my age and with a man I love more than cheese loves ham, you will see a fine specimen and you just wish to go back in time and see just how good that boy could butter your biscuit.”
“Umm…if you went back in time thirty years Titan would probably be Jack’s age.”
“Quit ruining the fantasy, Hope. You’re just like my Lotus Petal, always trying to play the reality card. Now, what were we talking about?”
“Aden’s hurt?”
“Oh yeah. He took his hurt that he had suffered from women in his life and he transferred that, fairly or unfairly, to you.”
“And…”
“I’m guessing that made you lash right back, because you have your own hurts.”
“I’m sensing a theme here,” I sigh.
“Shit has a way of snowballing, and when it takes off it knocks down everything in its path.”
“And whatever shit hits…”
“It sticks to and stinks it all up.”
“So, I should cut her some slack.”
“You want Aden to cut you some…”
“I get it.”
“That said, doesn’t mean we have to let our babies be unprotected, because you never know what kind of darkness has swallowed up your friend. You get what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Good. So, are you done feeling sorry for yourself?”
“For now, yeah. I’m not sure about tonight when I�
�m alone.”
“You get strong and remember you have babies depending on you.”
“Babies?”
“You’ve been throwing up every morning for a solid month, Hope. Don’t tell me you don’t understand why?”
“I… Oh God. I have.”
“Yeah, you have.”
“But, I was on birth control! I swear Aunt Ida! I take it religiously.”
“Then you forgot to pray one morning, or you took something that made it less effective. Doesn’t matter. In my experience when little soldiers want to come out to play, they swim hard, they go deep, and they do it and fast.”
“Oh God. He hates me already…”
“And some of those damn swimmers won’t take no for an answer,” she finishes, but I’m already in a mini-panic.
“Aunt Ida, he hates me!”
“He’ll get over it. It may just take him a bit.”
“He will? How long?”
“Well, that depends on just how stubborn he is,” she answers.
“So you’re saying our children will be in college before Aden speaks to us again?” I sigh, my hand going to my stomach.
I’m pregnant.
“I’m saying… don’t give up. You got too much good stored up for you to be crying all the time. I raised nine kids on my own and I enjoyed every minute of it. I reckon you can handle two, after all that’s Lucas blood in your veins.”
“You forget my mom’s blood,” I mutter.
“There was nothing strong about that woman and she sure didn’t have staying power. Same could be said for her blood. You’re a hundred percent Lucas, darlin’.”