“First of all, I’m not going to get tired of you. And second, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk so fast in my life. Calm down for a second, Gracie,” he said, kissing her again.
“That’s not going to help me catch my breath,” she said when he pulled back a minute later.
“I didn’t think so. Talk to me.” He looked deep into her eyes.
“Jax, when I was growing up you and Brendan and Shep always tried to be my defenders. Always tried to keep me from getting hurt. But I knew that you couldn’t protect me from everything, so I tried like hell to grow a tough skin, tried to learn to deal with the small things, and later with the bigger things.”
“Why?”
“Why?” she repeated, laughing incredulously. “Because every time something happened to me, Brendan wound up in detention or suspended, and you and Shep often weren’t that far behind him. So if I just learned to deal with things maybe all of you wouldn’t be getting into trouble all the time. And I didn’t want to be this helpless girl who couldn’t take care of herself, because one day you guys wouldn’t be around and it was only going to be me.”
“I don’t think you’re helpless, Grace,” he said shaking his head. “And that day isn’t going to happen, the day that none of us are going to be around. I’m always going to try to protect you. And so are Brendan and Shep; it’s just how it is.”
He covered her mouth with his again and reached down to pick her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist, and he carried her into the kitchen where he sat her down on the counter.
“What were the bigger things you had to learn to deal with?” he asked.
She looked at him for a second, her heart picking up speed and pounding in her chest. If he was upset about the Piggly Wiggly incident, she wasn’t sure how he was going to react to what had happened eight years ago.
“Grace?” he pressed.
“Some of this stuff with Chad, Judson, and Hoyt has been going on for a while.”
“How long?”
“If I tell you, you can’t tell Brendan or Shep.”
“I already don’t like where this is going, but I won’t tell Brendan or Shep.” He promised.
“And you can’t freak out and do something stupid,” she added.
“I’m not Brendan; I think before I act.”
“Promise me,” she said.
“I promise. Geez, Grace, you’re making me really nervous.”
“So Chad and I dated in high school.”
“Yeah, I know.” He frowned.
“He was this big senior and I was this little sophomore, and for some reason he wanted to date me. I didn’t get it. And he was just so damn charming. A couple of weeks in we’d been on a few dates, where we did nothing more than kissing.”
Jax’s frown deepened.
“Well, one night he drove his mother’s Cadillac out to Alligator Lane to park. He brought beer. I’d never had alcohol before and the beer hit me pretty fast, and we moved to the backseat. He…” Grace hesitated when she saw the fire in Jax’s eyes. “He stuck his hand under my shirt and it was all moving too fast for me, so I asked him to stop, but he just grabbed me harder. I started to struggle, and I kneed him in the crotch.”
Jax was frozen as he listened to her, his eyes wide and blazing.
“I got out of the car and he left me there,” Grace continued. “I called Preston to come pick me up. And it took a lot of begging to get Preston to promise not to do anything to Chad. Because I knew that if you, Brendan, or Shep found out, chances were that one of you would’ve done something incredibly stupid.”
Jax just stared at her stunned, not saying anything.
“Please don’t be upset,” she said, feeling desperate.
“Upset?” he asked, finally finding his tongue. “I’m not upset. I’m way beyond upset. I now know what the drive for murder feels like.”
“Jax, you can’t do anything. It was eight years ago.”
“I don’t care when it happened. He could’ve raped you,” he snapped out harshly.
She closed her eyes and flinched back.
“Grace,” he said, his voice calmer.
She opened her eyes and he reached up to cradle her face.
“I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “I… I’m not taking this information very well at all.”
“No kidding.”
“How do Judson and Hoyt factor into this?” he asked.
“They spread some pretty vicious rumors about me in high school. That was really it.”
“What rumors?”
“Jax, it was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore,” she said.
“Can you please stop acting like something that hurt you doesn’t matter and tell me what happened?” he asked, more than a little exasperated.
“It was the same stuff that was in that article today,” she said, maybe a bit too loudly, but Jax was frustrating the hell out of her. “That I’m a whore just like my mother. That I’ll crawl into bed with any guy at any time. That I’m not good enough.” Her voice broke. “That I wasn’t good enough from the beginning, because otherwise my father would’ve wanted me.”
She couldn’t stop the tears that sprung to her eyes or the tightness in her throat. She didn’t want to cry about this. Didn’t want to show Jax just how much this stuff affected her. But it was no use because once that first tear fell more followed.
“Grace,” Jax said, sounding pained.
“It’s okay,” she said barely above a whisper.
“No, it isn’t.” He shook his head as he reached up and cupped her face. He swiped his thumbs underneath her eyes to wipe away the tears, but as soon as they were gone more followed. “It isn’t okay, Gracie. You are good enough, and it has absolutely nothing to do with your father, and everything to do with you.” He pulled her into his arms and she rested her face in the crook of his neck. “Why didn’t you ever say anything? Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked as he held her, running his hands up and down her back trying to soothe her.
“What were you going to do?” Her lips brushed across his skin as she talked. “What was anyone going to do? They were seventeen. If any of you had laid a hand on any of them, it would’ve been bad. I didn’t want you guys to get in trouble.”
Jax just sighed. “They aren’t seventeen now.”
A huff of laughter escaped Grace as she pulled back to look at him. “What are you going to do to them?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
“I don’t know.” He frowned. “But I can follow you around to make sure they don’t do anything to you.”
“My personal bodyguard?”
“Yup,” he said, bringing his mouth to hers. He kissed her for a minute before he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. “Will you just promise me that you won’t keep anything like this from me again? And no more lies.”
“No more lies,” she said softly. “I’m sorry, Jax.”
“I am, too,” he said, kissing her forehead before he disentangled himself from her arms and legs. “Want a drink?”
“Please,” she said desperately.
Jax went over to the fridge and opened the door. He turned a second later holding up a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
“Wine?” she said.
“Don’t sound so shocked,” he said. “I like things other than beer.”
“And Jack Daniel’s?”
“Yes,” he said, pulling out a corkscrew.
“Really? How long has that bottle of wine been sitting in your fridge?” She suspected it had been in there for months. Probably a Christmas gift from someone he worked with.
“Since I went to the store on my day off,” he said, holding the bottle to the side as he started to twist the corkscrew. “I got this fancy cheese, too, and that ice cream you always get. I figured I should have some stuff here that you like.”
“You bought me double fudge mint ice cream?”
“And I also got a jar of maraschino cherries and
a big bag of M&M’s,” he said as he poured a generous amount of wine into a glass.
Grace just stared at him. She couldn’t really make her throat move at the moment, because it was so tight.
Jax looked up as he reached for the other glass and froze when he saw what she was sure was a stunned expression. “What?” he asked as he grabbed the glass and started filling it.
“I’m just…I’m a little surprised.”
“That I know what kind of ice cream you like?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “That you know me. I didn’t know you paid that much attention to me.”
“Really?” Jax said, shaking his head as he walked over to her, “because when you’re around you’re all I can pay attention to. God, Grace, you’re on my mind even when you aren’t around.”
He held out one of the glasses and she grabbed it, downing half of it in one fell swoop.
“You aren’t getting a refill until you eat,” he said, eyeing her half-empty glass.
“I’m not that hungry,” she said, shaking her head.
“Tough, you’re eating.”
“When did we switch roles? I thought I was the one always trying to feed you.”
“You are. And it works in my favor as you are a fantastic cook and my skills are very limited,” he said, turning and opening a cabinet.
“Your skills in the kitchen might be limited,” Grace said, admiring his ass as he bent over and pulled out a skillet. “But your skills in the bedroom are above and beyond.”
Jax turned and grinned at her. “You’re pretty talented, too.”
“So what are you making me?”
“Scrambled eggs,” he said, holding up the skillet.
“All that you know how to make?” she asked.
“All that I have the supplies to make. It’s either that or pasta, but I’m all out of mac and cheese,” he said, putting the skillet on the stove before he went to the refrigerator and started pulling things out.
“So it’s slim pickings here at casa Anderson?”
“I have what I need,” he said as he laid out the ingredients.
“Yes, but do you have anything that you want?”
“I do now,” he said, looking up at her and staring at her with so much intensity that her head suddenly felt light. It probably had a little to do with the wine, but it was mostly Jaxson Anderson.
“I’m going to need more of this wine if you keep saying things like that,” she said before she took another healthy sip.
“Food first,” he said, cracking open a carton of eggs.
“Well, then hurry it up.”
Twenty minutes later they sat down at his table with two plates that were loaded with buttered toast and scrambled eggs, smothered in cheese, ham, salsa, and sour cream. Grace took one bite and as the warm, melty goodness hit her tongue she realized just how hungry she was.
“Okay,” she said around a mouthful of toast, “you know your way around a scrambled egg.”
“When’s it’s one of four dishes that you know how to make, you learn to perfect it.”
“Well it’s delicious. What are the other three dishes you can make?”
“All in good time, Princess, all in good time,” he said as he took a bite of eggs.
When they finished dinner, they cleared the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Jax brought the bottle of wine out to the living room and they snuggled up on the couch. Grace threw her legs across his lap and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She rested her head against his chest as he flipped through the channels on the TV.
“Oh, can we watch this?” she said as he landed on a marathon of her favorite TV show.
“Anything you want.” He kissed her head.
For the next thirty minutes they watched as two of the characters stole a cheesecake from a neighbor and proceeded to eat it all. When the next episode started, Jax poured a little bit more wine into each of their glasses. Grace was feeling a whole lot better about life than she had earlier, and it had everything to do with the man whose arms she was in.
* * *
Something was biting into Grace’s ribs, not hard or anything. Just incredibly annoying
She opened her eyes to darkness. She was lying in bed. In Jax’s bed. She must’ve fallen asleep on the couch. Or more like passed out because she didn’t remember being carried to Jax’s bedroom, or being put into his bed. Apparently this was the effect three glasses of wine had on her.
The man might have skimped on kitchen utensils, but he’d splurged on his bed. It was way more comfortable than hers, some sort of foam material that molded to her body. And the pillows were heaven. But the best part of the whole bed was the man pressed up against her. He had one arm draped over her hip, his hand palming her thigh. A thigh that was now bare.
Damn, she’d missed the part where he’d taken off her shorts, too.
Every time he exhaled, his breath washed over her bare shoulder. He hadn’t taken off her tank top, or her bra. And the under wire was the annoying poke that was digging into her ribs.
The bra in question was strapless and normally it was comfortable enough, but not after sixteen hours. She needed to get it off, like now. The problem was, Jax was wrapped around her and she just couldn’t bend that way.
She shifted forward a little bit, and bent her arm awkwardly to try to unhook the back. She fumbled with it for a minute before she gave up.
On to plan B.
She grabbed the side of her bra and slowly started to spin it.
“What are you doing?”
Dear God, that man’s gravely, half-asleep voice was not to be messed with.
“My bra is digging into my skin. I was trying to take it off and not wake you up in the process.”
“Now where’s the fun in that?” he asked as he moved his hand from her hip and slipped it under her shirt. “I’d be more than happy to help with such endeavors.”
His hard body shifted down hers as he worked her tank top up and over her head. He kissed her shoulder while his fingers traced up her spine. He kept moving down until his mouth was in line with the back of her bra. He used his teeth to hold the material in place while he slowly unhooked the clasps with his fingers. When her bra was undone, he moved his hand to the front of her chest to pull it free. His fingers glided over her breasts and she couldn’t help it when she arched into him. He groaned deep in his throat as his mouth moved from the center of her back.
“Where was it digging into you,” he asked as he planted kisses across her skin.
“Up and to the right.”
“Here?” he asked before he opened his mouth on the side of her breast.
“Yes,” she moaned as he flicked his tongue across her skin.
“I think it might have dug into your skin here, too,” he said as his mouth started moving under her breasts.
A second later, Grace found herself on her back, Jax between her thighs.
“So just for future reference,” he said as he soothed her skin with his tongue. “I’m allowed to take your bra off when you pass out drunk on my couch?”
“I wasn’t drunk,” she said as her hands found their way into his hair.
“Well, you were most definitely asleep, which was highly disappointing because I was so looking forward to make-up sex. We really do need to celebrate surviving our first fight.”
“Our first fight?” she asked, tugging on his hair so that he would have to look up at her.
“Our first fight as a couple,” he amended as his mouth moved across the space to her other breast.
“I was going to say, that was probably our four hundred and fifty ninth fight.”
“Hmm,” he hummed into her chest as his hands found their way to her hips and he started to pull down her panties. “Probably,” he agreed, sitting up on his knees.
“And Jax, you have permission to take my bra off whenever you want,” she said as he pulled her legs together and skimmed her red lace panties the rest of the way down her legs.<
br />
“Really? Whenever I want?” he asked as he came back down between her thighs again.
“Well, I mean not in public. Or around people.”
“I knew it was too good to be true. You put all of these stipulations on it,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s a shame.”
“No,” Grace said as she reached around and palmed his butt. “What’s a shame is that you still have these on. Do you normally sleep in clothes?” she asked as she started to pull his boxer briefs down.
“No.” He shifted to the side so that he could kick the boxers down his legs. “I normally sleep naked.”
“You? Sleep naked?” Grace asked, trying to sound shocked as he resettled in between her thighs. “Who would have thought reserved Deputy Anderson would sleep in the buff? What were you trying to do? Shield me from your scandalous ways?”
“No.” He smiled down at her. “You see I’ve had this problem the last few days of being constantly turned on. It’s what happens when you have the best sex of your life. So you can imagine my predicament when said woman, who has provided said sex, is passed out in my bed and I can’t do anything to take care of the constant need I have for her. I had to provide myself with some sort of barrier, or I’d lose my damn mind.”
“Best sex of your life, huh?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Absolutely. Also, I thought I was going to short-circuit when I pulled your shorts off to find red lace whatever those were.”
“Boy shorts?”
“Yes, boy shorts. I’m a huge fan of those,” he said, kissing her neck.
“I think I have an idea of just how huge a fan you are,” she said, bumping her hips up. “And for your sanity’s sake, maybe you should stop talking and take care of this need of yours.”
His grin widened as his mouth descended on hers, and he proceeded to take care of said need with gusto.
Chapter Eleven
A Changed Man
On Saturday morning Jax met up with all the guys at his house that was under construction. Tripp, Preston, and Baxter joined Brendan, Shep, Bennett, and Jax for a day of hard labor. The goal for the day was going to be finishing up the walls. The plan for the following week was working on the bathrooms. He’d ordered the tile and fixtures months ago, and it was scheduled for delivery on Thursday.
Undeniable (A Country Roads Novel) Page 15