“You didn’t kill him, did you?” Drustan asked and felt the lightness of a smile threaten his grim composure. He banished it immediately. His murdering rampage was absolutely not humorous. Yet, somehow, the way Anna spoke so openly and directly about things, dragging them out into the light to exam, made him feel better.
“No,” she said. “But I slandered him quite viciously, as well as all the other males in the room, of which there were several.”
“Did it pertain to their male appendages?” Drustan asked.
Anna’s head twisted toward him. “You read that from Dr. Murdock’s mind.”
He couldn’t stop the smile when he nodded. Anna dropped her face in her hands so her words came muffled. “I threatened to cut them all off so that when they were whining in bed about their impotence there would be plenty of room for my bosom in the operating room. I even went on to rant about how their wives would take on lovers if they hadn’t already.”
He chuckled slightly but stopped at her tortured posture, head down, knees pulled up high under the blanket. “Anna, they pushed you too far. You’d been living with their insults and prejudices for months, years. You were weak momentarily and lashed out. Society’s pressure is immense.”
She turned so that she could meet his gaze while still holding her head resting in her hands. The moonlight splashed across her face, revealing a perfect silver-hued beauty. He watched her lips move.
“I was a monster,” she said. “Deep down I must be a monster.”
His own words, sent back at him, diced the smile from his lips as he stared at her. “Anna, your slip is not the same. I killed people.”
“Yes,” she agreed and lifted her head to stare at him. “And you continue to flay your own soul in punishment. You’ve convinced yourself that you are evil because you couldn’t control yourself and you made a mistake, a terrible mistake.”
“What if I could fix my mistakes?” he asked softly. “Bring those people back.”
“Semiazaz’s plan,” Anna murmured. Her eyes narrowed. “Was he around when that incident happened after the war?”
“He’s always around,” Drustan answered. “He finds me easily. We are linked.”
“Except when I touch you,” Anna said and ran her hand up his bare arm. The contact conducted a bolt of sensation through his body. “I break the link.”
He nodded. “I think that’s why he wants you gone.”
“Gone as in dead,” she said.
“I won’t let that happen.”
“Why? You can always bring me back,” she said, her words casual.
“I will never allow you to feel such pain, the crush of fear that would come with murder.”
She tilted her head to the side. “And yet you’d allow it for everyone else in the world who has ever lived, to bring back eleven horrible lynchers and an innocent brother.”
“And five nuns and two women,” he added, though his words were slow.
“Seems a bit disproportioned. Billions to nineteen.”
“There are other advantages to Semiazaz’s plan,” Drustan said, frowning. “Building a new world, a Utopia.”
“With you the executioner,” Anna added, making Drustan frown.
“That’s not the title I would have.”
“Master, lord.” She shrugged. “Avenging angel, grim reaper. Sounds like executioner to me.”
“You are very blunt,” he said.
“It comes naturally with not liking people.”
“You don’t like me very much, do you?”
“Actually, I do,” she said, looking at him closely. “We monsters must stick together.”
“Anna,” he said and raised his hand to touch the pad of his thumb against her cheek. “You are not a monster.”
Her face softened as she relaxed into his palm, her expressive eyes dropping the icy tightness of casual indignation. “And neither are you.” With that she turned ever so slightly and kissed the palm of his hand.
The flutter of Anna’s heart grew to thudding. The man before her, so powerful, so strong, was as vulnerable as any other person. Yes, she had exaggerated her aversion to people, and her secret was nothing compared to his lethal mistake. But the man had been punishing himself throughout his entire life for things he couldn’t control. She realized as she looked at his darkly handsome face that she truly believed his heart to be good. Plagued literally by evil since he’d been surrounded by demons at one week of age, it was a wonder his soul hadn’t been consumed.
“You are a good man, Drustan.” She placed her hand over his as he held it against her cheek. “You need to look beyond the past. Trying to change it won’t work. You need to forgive yourself and move forward.”
He stroked her hair. Anna’s neck tingled at his touch, raising goosebumps along her body under the blanket. “Will you think about it?” she asked.
“I can only think about you,” he murmured.
Sleep with him. The witch’s words came back to Anna, and she breathed against the hammering in her chest. That wasn’t why she had kissed Drustan’s hand, was it? The world depends on you. The memory was so vivid that Anna glanced around to make certain Drakkina wasn’t there watching.
“You are afraid,” Drustan said.
“No,” Anna said and realized she wasn’t. Not afraid of being with a man and not afraid of Drustan. Instead, her adrenaline ran high, pumping energy through her the same as when she was attempting a new procedure in surgery. A nervous kind of excitement.
“You certainly don’t look relaxed,” Drustan said. “I won’t harm you, Anna.”
“I know. I’ve never…been close to a man.” She stared at him in the glow of the white moonlight. “I mean”—her hand flipped around under the blanket as she spoke—“I know how the biology works.” A little laugh leaked out, which she squelched, cringing at the ridiculous, giggle-like quality. “I’m a doctor after all. It’s just that I’ve never…”
He seemed to assess every movement she made, his gaze diverting when her hand bumped the underside of the blanket.
“I wish I could read your mind,” he said. “It would make all this easier.”
Anna’s mouth dropped open. “No, it wouldn’t. It would make it more embarrassing.”
The hint of a smile crept along his beautiful mouth. “Why? What are you thinking that is embarrassing?”
Anna’s face flamed. Apart from the whole conversation with Drakkina, just the thoughts of doing things with the sexy, very virile, nearly naked man beside her made it extremely hard for her to meet his gaze. If he could read her thoughts…the idea made her stomach bubble.
“Breathe out slowly,” Drustan said before she could think of something to reply.
“Excuse me?”
“You are going to hyperventilate,” he said, and she realized that little stars sparked in her periphery. She wet her dry lips and counted her inhales and exhales to make certain she was exchanging oxygen properly. She nodded. “Thank you.”
“Anna,” he said and ran his warm palm down her bare arm. “I’m not going to seduce you here, in a dirty cave, trapped in a freak snow storm.”
“You’re not?” She blinked as she traced the perfect shape of his eyes with her gaze. Drustan had such kind eyes. Soft and caring in a body so hard and lethal. Her own body became hyper alert, the feel of the cloth against her breasts and stomach.
“No,” he answered and let the blanket fall off his shoulders as he stood. He wrapped her up in it alone.
“Why not?” she asked out of the little hole he’d left for her head. She stood up, letting the blanket fall so her collarbone was exposed. “You do want to.” She watched the muscles in his back as he shook out her wet cape and damp gown. His deltoids and inner trapezius muscles rolled effortlessly with the simple motions. Gloriously sinful.
He grabbed up his shirt from the floor and turned. “More than you could possibly understand,” he answered her statement. The glint in his eyes sent a shiver down her body, one made of
heat instead of cold.
“What if I want to understand,” Anna said and let the blanket slip further down her arms to her waist. The chill in the cave made her nipples peak through her thin white chemise, and Drustan’s gaze dipped to them. Even though cold air wrapped around her, Anna felt her internal temperature rise feverishly.
“I don’t want to frighten you,” he said but took a step closer, still clutching his shirt in his large hand.
“You fought off a coven of demons with your power in front of me, and you think something natural like intercourse would frighten me?” Those were facts despite the fear Anna tried very hard to banish.
“It seems to frighten most maids.”
“I’m not most maids,” she said and let the blanket slip all the way off to the floor. Drustan scooped up the blanket, setting it on her shoulders, blocking the cold, but he let it remain open in front.
“That is the truest statement I’ve ever heard,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You are nothing like ordinary maids in this ordinary world.” He walked into the enclosure so that his chest nearly touched her. “You, Anna Pemberlin, are extraordinary and make this world a thing of beauty.”
His mouth dipped down, claiming her lips. Warm and powerful, Anna could tell he held back. She returned the kiss, her fingers clutched into the wool of the blanket.
Drustan cupped her cheeks in his hands, tilting her face to deepen the kiss. Heat and giddiness raced through Anna, and she groaned as she pressed forward into the heat of his chest. He was all fire and strength. Touch, sound, taste, all Anna’s senses tuned into Drustan as she abandoned the blanket to explore his skin. His hands moved to span her back, stroking down to mold her against him. The shock of his hard arousal at the juncture of her legs sent a lightning response through her, making her knees weak. He left her mouth to trace a hot path along her jaw. Every little touch of Drustan’s mouth unlocked another self-erected door Anna had around her emotions.
She tilted her head back as he lit a fire along the sensitive column of her throat. If her legs were to fail, he would surely hold her there regardless. He moved down her neck, nuzzling between her breasts and then moved to one. Holy! Anna gasped as his hot mouth sucked her nipple through the material. His fingers worked the edge of her chemise down off her shoulder.
Drustan pulled back to look at her. “Breathe evenly, Anna.”
“My autonomic nervous system doesn’t function normally when you do that.”
“I should stop,” he said and brushed her flushed cheek with the back of his knuckles. She shook her head. She’d come this far, and so far it was delicious.
“Your society will judge—” he began.
“We have a mutual aversion to society. Let us not bring them in here with us.”
A grin played about his sensual lips. “Very well. It is just us here,” he said.
She nodded without disconnecting from his gaze. “I am an adult female, and you are an adult male. We are unattached and have ample privacy and apparent attraction.”
“Quite scientific,” he said.
“Yes.”
“It seems, under those parameters that we should follow through,” he said.
“Yes, it seems,” she said, wondering if Drustan could hear the rapid tattoo of her heart. She nodded succinctly to hide her unease.
Drustan rested his hands on her shoulders and guided her back into him. Anna shivered at the difference between the cool air in the cave and the body heat enveloping her. All of her nerves hummed with anticipation. Where would he touch her? What would he do? How would it feel? Questions that no human physiology book could answer.
He wrapped them with the blanket, cocooning them. Their kisses blended into one another, warmth and sensation. He stroked over her thinly-clad body, touching lightly along her spine and backside, sparking tingles through her nerves. Anna slid her own fingers along the warm skin of Drustan’s chest, sprinkled lightly with curling hair, and then lower. His waist cut in, and his pants dipped around narrow hips.
The blanket began to fall and Drustan broke the kiss. “One minute,” he said and guided her to the back of the cave where he laid out the blanket and tugged her gently to lie down in the middle. He tossed the one edge over his back as he leaned over her. “The ground is hard?”
She looked up into his questioning eyes. “I feel nothing but you,” she whispered. She watched her words wash through him, fire replacing the uncertainty in his gaze.
He kissed her, trailing back to her ear. “I would have you feel all of me, around you and inside you, completely.”
Anna shuddered at his words and arched against him, feeling a flood of fire pulse down through her body to her sex. Her breathing sounded loud in her ears as Drustan returned to her breasts, sliding her chemise down to bare the hard peaks. Wet, hot suction brought little moans from deep in her throat. Her hands roamed over his shoulders to tangle in his hair, the feel of his mouth making her legs move restlessly in the tight cocoon of the blanket. “Oh God, Drustan,” she murmured.
He shifted, his hand skimming against her as he tugged at his trousers, the coarse fabric brushing her legs as he shucked them. He leaned into her, his hand rejoining the exploration of her body. He stroked over the skin of her stomach downward to her hips where her chemise had bunched. With several tugs he worked the material up until the white linen passed between them and off her, leaving her completely naked. His warm hand slid along her waist to her hip bone. Holding on, he leaned in and kissed her gently.
“I wish I could see you,” he whispered. “Your beauty.”
“Feel me then,” Anna said, her voice soft but bold in the darkness. She placed her hand over his, guiding it along her gently rounded abdomen before reaching to guide his mouth back to hers. His kiss was like potent wine, banishing the fear of the unknown.
Everywhere Anna touched, Drustan was hard muscle under smooth, hot skin. Her hands skimmed down his back and across his perfectly formed backside. He groaned into their kiss, and she felt his hardness against her as he hugged her even closer. She molded into him, rubbing, losing herself in his scent and heat, the sheer power of the man caressing her. The delicious sensation of his naked form against her bare skin would be forever etched in her memories.
His fingers trailed everywhere as if seeking all the little secrets of her body. “Yes,” she breathed as he worked along the sensitive crease that joined her leg to her hip. She arched against his hand as he reached the part of her that ached for his touch. “Please,” she whispered against his mouth and moved her hand from his backside to the front, capturing him, stroking him, giving him a taste of the torture she endured.
He groaned and looked down at her. The blanket slid away, exposing her breasts in the slight glow of moonlight reflected off the snow beyond the entrance. The blizzard had quieted, only to be replaced by the storm raging within Anna.
“You are exquisite.” He cupped her face as if he held a precious gem in his hands. “The only being I have ever wanted. No matter what, you are mine.”
She felt his knee part her legs, and she rubbed her aching body against it. Drustan’s breathing was rapid, the strain on his face evident. He was holding himself back, for her. Anna pulled his face to hers, kissing him as his body found her below. Still he held back, letting her rub against him. He returned to worship her breasts as she groaned in frustration. “Drustan, please,” she whispered on a gasp at his erotic tug on her nipple.
His fingers returned below to stroke, causing mounting shudders to climb higher throughout her writhing body. When she felt him at her heat, he caught her up in a kiss again. The fever of his touch, the power in him seemed to pour into her with the kiss, making her head swim. Sensation flooded her with breathless anticipation as he braced himself above, his lips still moving perfectly over hers.
Swift and sure, he thrust into her. A lightning strike of pain sliced into Anna’s passion as Drustan embedded himself completely into her drenched, tight body. He stopped at her tensing
but continued to kiss her gently. When he kissed her eyelids, Anna realized she’d squeezed them shut.
Feather-light touches of his lips passed over her entire face to her ear. “Is it terrible?” he asked, the question laced with regret.
Anna blinked open to the shadowed contours of his face, his eyes searching her gaze. “No, just…shocking.” She raised her arms to cup his head, bringing his face back to hers. “Lead me past it.”
He kissed her, and Anna concentrated on the feel of his lips, soft and firm at once, the taste of him, the heat of him. She slanted her mouth to take him fuller and felt his fingers rake through her hair and down her shoulders to follow the contours of her form. Each one of his touches fed the fire crackling under her skin. The side of her breast, the skin over her rib cage, the inward curve of her waist. He shifted slightly and reached the sensitive nub near their joining. Anna’s breath caught at the rush of erotic sensation pulsing through her bloodstream, feeding her muscles with frenetic energy. She rose against his hand, her body moving again, urging him forward.
He slid within her, kissing her, his hand still stroking, teasing, and loving every inch he could reach. Like a musician, Drustan played along her body, creating an exquisite symphony of building reactions, awakening every little bit of Anna like nothing had ever before. Each thrust and teasing stroke plucked at Anna, playing her, bringing her higher and faster. She panted against him, matching his every movement, meeting him, surging against him in perfect measure. He roared her name where he strained above her, but she couldn’t comprehend anything except the blinding eruption shooting through her as her body contracted and she fell over the edge of sensation into bliss.
Chapter Twelve
Drustan held Anna cradled against his chest. She inhaled and exhaled evenly like the gentle to-and-fro of small lapping waves on a lakeshore. He smoothed a lock of long hair back from her face as he memorized the way her tresses lay haphazardly along her center part. Even the top of her head was beautiful. He kissed it and breathed deeply of their combined scent, letting peace open up his chest. How long had he held himself so tight, closed to everything? Maybe his entire life. He breathed in again, watching her head rise on his chest.
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