by Xavier Neal
The urge to mutter how she cost me my relationship is strong.
She did! If I would've told Ari when I was ready there's a high chance we would still be together right now and not in this weird...limbo.
I slide her the signed form and she smiles wide.
Which is weird. Not used to that look.
“Take this.” French slips a new piece of paper at me. “He's expecting you to call this afternoon for a job.”
“A job? You fire me and offer me a job?”
“I'm not offering you a job,” she argues. “He's going to give you a job no questions asked if you want it. He needs someone to play the piano in the hotel lobby during happy hour, so you can still take night gigs at The Den or anywhere else. It's steady pay and pretty good at that.”
Shock unhinges my jaw.
“You wanna play music full time. Here you go.” Without waiting for me to say anything, she turns the paper over. “This is the name and contact information for LaLa. She's is one of the best agents in town. Use it. And fire that piece of shit one you have. Your talent is being wasted. LaLa can take your career any direction you want it to go.”
My mouth bobs to say something, but can't seem to.
What the fuck is happening? I basically quit one job to be handed my dream chances on a silver platter? How the fuck does that make any sense?
“Now get out of my office. I have work to do,” she insists with a crooked grin. “With actual employees.”
With the piece of paper in hand I sigh, “French...I...I can't thank you enough.”
“For what?”
I shrug. “For everything?”
“Thank me by using that information and never stepping foot in the club again.” The words widen my eyes. “Move on with your life. Don't look back. Look forward and build a future.”
She doesn't say another word as she diverts her attention back to her laptop.
French is right. Can't look back. Can't linger in this shitty moment any more. It's time to move forward. I think that's something meeting Ari has forced me to finally do. Look ahead a little more and stop hovering in just the moment. I never thought that would be something I wanted to do. Now, planning for a future seems second nature and she's in every frame of it. I just gotta convince her to hear me out.
Ari
“Why are we drinking so early?” I complain as Liz orders herself another drink from the waitress. “I know it's Friday, but it's like 4 o'clock.”
“Says the girl who just two weeks ago spent an entire weekend drinking her liver into depression.”
It was a rough time! However after I talked to my father for a while longer, I felt a little better. There was so much going on with my mother I didn't know about and learning some of the things I didn't know about their relationship helped me look at her death in a new light. Love in a new light. It's weird how there are so many different combinations and possibilities for one simple emotion. I guess it's not really a simple emotion. Over the last couple of weeks I've done a little soul searching and am learning I can't keep living my life like a well-planned event. I can't check list everything and everyone. Can't have emergency plans for emergency plans. All the planning in the world can't prepare you for when you fall in or out of love. Some things in life you just have to let happen. Still a strange concept but like I said… I'm learning. Oh and that while one night stands are fun and uncomplicated, they really do pale in comparison in level of awesomeness to constantly being with the right person.
“How are you doin with that anyway?” Liz asks, pushing her blonde hair out of her face. “You look...okay.”
“Backwards ass compliment.”
“Well you don't look as pale as you did.”
“I never looked pale.” Pointing to my skin, I shake my head. “I'm a halfie. It's impossible to look pale.”
“It's always about race with you.”
“Says the girl who just tried to call me pale.”
The two of us start giggling and relief whirls through my veins.
It feels good to be closer to the old me. I've missed it.
“So have you talked to him?”
“Cannot talk about him?” I clear my throat and cross my legs. “Can we talk about anything else?”
“Fine.” Liz shrugs. Before I have time to question why she gave up so easy, she asks, “How do you like not working for Helen any more?”
“It's heaven,” I happily sigh. “Seriously. I should've quit sooner.”
“Told you.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, well, I like to learn things at my own pace.”
“Clearly,” she mumbles. “So what are you working on right now? Just the birthday party for Mr. Clean?”
Told you he looked like that!
“A birthday party for his wife and then he has a friend whose daughter is having a big sweet 16 party, so I took that job too.” With a smile I pull the cherry out of my drink. “What about you? Good news yet?”
“Actually.” Liz sits up proudly. “I got a job promotion.”
“Yeah?”
“Like a big one,” she giggles. “I'm actually going to be traveling to other branches and checking them out like a secret guest. Sometimes I'll be in one of the fancy rooms, sometimes I'll be in the average rooms. It'll vary, but basically I am like a hotel spy for the company.”
“Congrats!” I squeal and throw my hands up in the air. “Oh my gosh! That's a huge deal! Why aren't we celebrating with dinner and expensive drinks?”
“Because I have a date tonight,” she informs. “And so do you.”
I didn't think she had that many drinks yet, but obviously I was wrong.
“I don't wanna be set up,” my quick denial makes her smirk. “Especially not with a dude whose latest touch of a pussy was the one he adopted from the shelter last week.”
Liz bursts into a fit of giggles. After a small snicker, I join her.
Like she knows she's pushing my buttons she states, “You don't wanna be set up because you're still in love with Arik.”
I don't deny it.
It's not like a faucet you can just turn on and off. Apparently love is a little more fucking complicated.
“How about you tell me about your date?” The change of topic has Liz's mouth moving faster than I can keep up. During the conversation I unconsciously hum along to the faint melody of the piano playing in the swanky hotel.
It should make me miserable... Fine. In ways it does. It makes me miss Arik more. One of my favorite things to do with my clothes on was to listen to him play like he had every song in the world documented in his fingertips. Eventually I'll stop missing him, right?
The tune of the song turns to one that tugs tightly at my heart. Instead of letting it get the better of me on the outside, I simply do my best to zone in on every word coming out of Liz's mouth until the song fades.
Come Sail Away will always be hauntingly beautiful to me.
Thankful the music has ceased completely, I rest my face in the palm of my hand.
Liz continues explaining her personal life until I finally sigh, “Let me get this straight. You're bouncing between three guys and I can't even make it work with one?”
“You can,” a familiar voice states over my shoulder. When I turn around I fall into a pair of green eyes I've missed even though I didn't want to. “If you're willing to try.”
Am I? Am I willing to try?
Arik
I knew she was going to be here. That was the plan Liz helped me orchestrate. But I didn't think she was going to have on the sexiest thing she could fucking find. Or maybe that's just my mind desperately over compensating for the time that's passed between us.
Ari toys with the necklace that's bringing attention to her plunging neckline.
Nope. She's just that fucking sexy. Her business attire is almost as sexy as seeing her naked.
“Looks like you're date is here.” Liz smirks at her best friend. “That's my cue to go.”
The fury o
n Ari's face makes me cringe. “Excuse me?”
She points at me. “Ari, you desperately need to talk to maintenance.”
“I'm not desperate. I'm not the one who was getting paid to take my clothes off for a buffet of women.”
Oh yeah. This conversation isn't going to be easy.
“Ari-”
“I'm sorry, is this weird for you to talk to me with this many clothes on?”
My lips press together. Liz laughs out loud until we both pin her with a sharp look. “Right. I'm gonna go.”
Ari pouts, “You're my ride home.”
“Now he is,” her friend snips. “Or take a fucking taxi. Choice is yours.”
“Taxi it is.”
Liz leans over and whispers in my ear. “Good luck. You're gonna need it.”
That I believe.
She strolls away and I take her place at the table. For a moment I don't say anything. Drinking in how beautiful she looks in her black skirt and white button up top, I forget for a moment we aren't a couple. That there might not be a future. For just a second it feels like the only thing my heart beats for is right in front of me.
“Stop staring at me like that,” Ari whispers in a defeated tone.
“Right.” I clear my throat. “It's just....you somehow managed to get even more gorgeous in the two weeks I haven't seen you.”
My compliment causes her to fight a smirk. Instead of giving into it she sneers. “There's a reason I haven't seen you.”
“You didn't want to.”
“Well at least you're not as stupid as most strippers.”
The insult has me nodding. “You're really not going to let that go huh?”
“Let it go?” She bites. “Let it go? You fucking lied to me!”
“Technically I didn't.”
“Technically? You told me you were a fucking server!”
“Which I was. It just so happened I was serving my body instead of food.”
Now that I'm looking back on that phrasing, it's not as clever as thought it was.
“Are you fucking kidding?” Ari growls. “You wanna try to get off on a technicality? That's the bullshit you wanna pull me with me right?”
Quickly I shake my head. “Of course not. I'm not trying to get off.”
When the corner of my mouth turns up she quickly shut me down. “Do not make a sex joke right now. I will walk out that door and not look back.”
See how well she knows me.
“Baby-”
“Do not baby me.”
“Ari, I just want a chance to explain-”
“Explain what? I know what strippers do-”
“Could you stop saying it like it's disease?” I snap unconsciously. To my surprise she shuts her mouth. “Yes. I was a stripper. A damn good one at that.”
“Making me feel better already...”
“Believe it or not before you it was never an issue.”
“How can that be possible?”
“Because most chicks before you were fucking flings. There wasn't exchanging of information past phone numbers and convenient times for hooking up. Hell, when we first got together I was expecting the exact same thing.”
Quietly she agrees, “So was I.”
“But then, I don't know, fuck, one taste and I knew that wasn't the case. For once I didn't know what the fuck was happening and the only thing I cared about was the next time I would get to be around you. Clothes on or off. It didn't matter. I told you I was a server because it never occurred to me that we would turn into something more than fuck buddies. And I was going to tell you. I swear.”
“When? After we moved into together and adopted a puppy?”
Her sarcasm causes me to cringe. “After I quit.”
“Which would've been when?”
“I quit the moment I stepped foot into that charity event instead of my shift at work that night.”
“Why?” She leans forward a combination of hurt and hope intertwined in her tone. “Why did you quit? Why did you ever start?”
“Easy cash,” my casual response is met with a skeptical look. “Because it was fun? Because I like performing. Honestly? I was playing just enough gigs to get by when the boss found me. She heard me play at The Den and the next thing I knew I was being offered a private audition. I took it. At the end of it, I was being offered a job like no other. I had to strip but I got to play my music as part of it. I had a guaranteed audience three nights a week with a pay check that included quite a few zeros on a slow night. Stripping was never supposed to last as long as it did. It was an in the moment decision. It was a something to do while I figured out where I wanted music to really take me.”
Another brick on the wall she's built, falls. “Tell me more about it.”
“I can't,” I softly reply.
“Can't? Or won't.”
“Legally, I can't. You have to sign so many non-disclosures and other privacy documents when you're recruited it makes all other paperwork look like Kindergarten homework.”
To my surprise Ari tilts her head. “So it was an exclusive place? Not just your average, shady gross run of the mill of the strip joint?”
The Castle in its gorgeous black and gold décor and posh setting, flashes through my mind. “Far from it.”
She adjusts in her seat and asks, “That makes me feel a teensy bit better.”
“It cost big bucks to see almost naked.”
“Why'd you quit?”
“Because being there for you mattered more than stripping ever had. Hell, that night wasn't even about the gig. I've canceled performances for less. They're a dime a dozen, but letting you down, wasn't an option. Being there for the only person I ever wanna love could never compete with any job.” Finally a soft look appears in her eyes. “And if you let me Ari, I swear, I'll always be there for you.”
Her fingers on the table inch towards me. “Always is a very strong word.”
“Test me.”
For what feels like the first time in centuries, she offers me the smile I fell in love with. “Don't ever lie to me again, Arik.”
“Swear it,” I sigh and slip my fingers with hers. When she doesn't pull back, I add, “But don't you ever hide from me again.”
That's right. I may be mostly to blame here, but she's got a little fault in her ledger too.
“I'm not perfect. I don't have any idea how relationships are supposed to work. I’m pretty much fucking winging it and am gonna fuck up again. So, I need to know that every time I make a mistake you're not gonna use it like an excuse to bail. I can't promise to never make you mad or sad, but I can promise to always try to make you happy. I can promise to always try to be the best man I know how to be. I just need to know you can at least try not to run when the waters get a little rough or high. I already told you I wouldn't let you drown. I need you to trust me on that.”
Ari squeezes my hand. “I definitely wanna try.”
Her confession pulls a smile on my face.
Thank fuck.
“But.” She lifts a stern finger using her free hand. “Let me make this clear for you as fucking possible. I'm the only one who gets to see you naked, damn near naked, or anything that comes close to naked. That anchor tattoo on your ass should only be seen by me from this point forward.”
A light laugh comes from me as I lean towards her. “I'm all yours, baby.”
Love is a tricky fucking thing. Stripping I get. Music, that shit is like my first nature, but this? Emotions and honesty? Forgiveness and understanding? This is all new to me. But guess what? Just because it isn't broke doesn't mean maybe an upgrade isn't needed. Which is what I'm doing. I'm upgrading my life to bigger and better things all around. Now that's how a real prince should live.
Epilogue
One Year Later...
Ari
“I didn't think my first wedding back in the business would be your brothers,” I sigh shoving the ear piece in place.
“I didn't think my first wedding gig would be for him
either,” Arik counters as he adjusts his tie in the mirror.
Believe it or not, his brother is beating us down the aisle. Actually we haven't even discussed the topic. Until he announced this out of the blue, a wedding wasn't anywhere on our radar. We've been pretty happy just learning to share our lives together in the same apartment. About three months ago, we moved into a two bedroom after weeks of debate on who should have to move. For now, learning cohabitation full time is enough. Dishes and dirty socks. How to put the toothpaste cap on. Sharing the remote. Maybe at some point we'll get to the next level. At the moment? No pressure.