“No, I won’t! You cannot make me!”
He pulled her across the floor as she laughed and protested until he had her flat on her back and he knelt over her on his hands and knees.
Alice looked up to his face and stopped laughing. His eyes were dark and serious and he did not move. She held her breath and lay quietly, studying his face.
He saw her hair had come undone and was splayed out around her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled. Her lips were a soft rosy color and she lay beneath him expectantly. He was struck by her beauty and he wondered what she would taste like if he kissed her, just once. No one would know, he thought. Once they left he would never see her again. Suddenly it was about more than kissing her and he took a deep breath. He never imagined she would become a companion or a friend. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them if he took advantage of her. He shook his head almost imperceptibly and got to his feet.
Alice sat up and dusted off her skirt.
He looked out the window. He needed to leave the cabin. The bear was nowhere in sight and he pulled open the door slowly.
“The bear…” she said.
Joseph stepped outside and closed the door.
She got to her feet and went to the window and watched him disappear along the creek. He’s going back to the mine, she thought. She didn’t like him digging alone, but she understood he needed to get away. For a moment she thought he wanted her, that he might kiss her. She had wondered what it would be like to kiss him. It was something she had decided to never do. Alice realized that she wanted him to kiss her, and more. She’d known it for a long time. She’d never wanted a man before. Some were nice, but none of them had ever made her feel like Joseph did. Sometimes she would feel a strange longing for him and catch herself imagining what it would be like to be with him, to touch him, to please him.
Just like every time before, she had imagined he wanted her and she realized that he did not. She was the wrong kind of a woman and she was not Yvonne.
Alice took a deep breath, pulled her moccasins from her waistband and dropped them to the floor. She wouldn’t leave him alone in the mine. She’d do what she always did when she felt this way. She’d smile and enjoy his company and in the spring she’d make a new life. She straightened her shoulders, put her feet into the shoes and walked outside.
“I brought water,” she announced. Alice set down the pail and cup and picked up the shovel. He nodded to her, but said nothing and they dug for several hours into the hard earth.
Chapter Thirtee n
The first of the season’s snows fell deep that year. Alice looked out through the bottle window and saw it nearly came to the sills. Joseph had built a small pen for the chickens inside and a cozy box for them to lay their eggs. Alice liked having them indoors, their soft clucking reminded her of evenings in the brothel. It sounded like the women as they spoke quietly among themselves or to the men in the parlor, a low murmur of voices.
“What was it like?” Joseph asked when she told him about the clucking.
Alice looked up from her mending. He rarely wanted to talk about her past and she never brought it up herself any longer.
“It was nice. Very plush, thick carpets, expensive furniture,” she said.
“Working. What was it like working?”
“Joseph, I’m not sure what you are asking me.”
“I don’t mean anything really private, just what it seemed like to you. You know, did you like it? Do you miss it?”
“It was alright sometimes. Sometimes the men were very nice. Sometimes shy, almost always feeling guilty. One man had a very ill wife. She’d had an accident in a carriage and hit her head. If he touched her she grew violent. He was so lonely. Afterwards he would cry so hard. He felt terribly guilty about coming to see me. It was just heartbreaking. Sometimes it was harder. Some men are rough. I don’t miss that part at all.”
“Will you go back?” he asked. He looked up from his weighing and watched her face.
“To the life?”
“Yeah,” he replied.
“My mama’s place is gone now. When she got sick the police stopped protecting her and some of the people in town wanted the brothel closed. There was a mob one night and they set the building on fire.”
“They tried to burn it down?”
“Yes, and burn us all with it,” Alice said. “Three of the girls died in the fire that night, three more over the next few days. There were four men inside that died as well. The newspaper said they and the women deserved it. The man with the ill wife was there that night, waiting for me. He lived for two days. My mama got worse after that and sent me away. I got a telegram that said she passed away.” Alice took a deep breath and Joseph continued to watch her, the flickering candlelight throwing shadows across her face. “The newspaper headline called it The Burning of the Brothel.
“I would never work alone and after seeing that place down the hill I don’t want to work in another house. If we have enough gold that I could get a shop somewhere I would do that, or get a job in one.”
“Have you thought about what you will tell people? You know that most people won’t accept your past. There will be enough gold for you to get a place, but you should think about that,” he said.
“I know. You’re probably right.”
“Would you open a hat shop like you mentioned before?”
“I do have an awful weakness for a pretty bonnet. What was that city you were telling me about with the row houses?”
“Philadelphia,” he said.
Alice set her sewing aside and moved to stir the stew on the stove. She wore the native clothing now, the soft leather shift and leggings as well, her moccasins were high fleece boots and Joseph noticed how lost she looked in all of the heavy clothing. They’d both lost weight once the cold set in, even though they were both far less active. He wondered what they would look like by spring.
When the weather broke they shoveled a path to the creek from the cabin. Alice thought she heard a call echo over the woodland and she walked up and touched Joseph’s arm. He stopped his digging and listened.
“Ho!” the voice called.
Chicken-leg Jack trudged atop the snow, wide snowshoes on his feet, his clothing thick with fur. He pulled off his pack inside the cabin and Alice closed the door behind him.
“There were some big strikes this summer, Joe,” Jack said as he sat at the table. Alice served hot dandelion coffee.
“We did alright ourselves,” Joseph said.
Jack looked at Alice as she sat down across from him at the table. He thought she was beautiful before, in a fancy sort of way, but now she wore her hair down and her face was tanned. She looked natural and healthy and like she could give a man a toss he’d never forget. He looked over to Joseph and quickly decided that he wasn’t getting any tossing. He still had that look about him and Jack was certain he was still pining away over that gal back east. She must be something he thought, because the one in front of him was something else.
“Old Yocum John found a nice strike at the fork, then the guy next to him. Right now there are six new claims along the big river and more being staked out. They’ll be going down with big loads in the spring,” Jack explained.
Joseph took a deep breath.
“Is that a problem, Joseph?” Alice asked.
“We’re going to have to play it right. If we go out looking too successful with a bunch of strikers boasting and bragging it could be dangerous. I was hoping to look like I had struck out and slink away quietly. What’s the mood in town, Jack?”
“Lots of boasting and bragging. Come spring that little town will have a different face.”
Alice looked worried. “How will I sneak out if that’s the case?” she asked.
“I don’t think that’ll be a big problem. You leave in that outfit, hood over your head and they won’t pay you no mind. You keep that beard, Joe,” Jack said. “I wouldn’t expect to get out on the first wagon. They’re all full up. I s
aved you a couple of spots on the second one though, in May. I put down that we were both leaving. The way I figure when those guys get south on that cart this winter and yell gold that wagon is gonna fill right up. When it comes back it’s gonna be mayhem. You climb on and get out.”
Joseph looked at Alice thoughtfully. If he were alone he’d think about hiking out along the trail. It would be hard going and the gold would get heavy but he could make it and get lost in a crowd much more quickly alone. With a girl that had Alice’s looks it would be much harder. He wondered if, instead of dressing like a native, she ought to look more like he and Jack.
“Alice,” he said. “You need to grow a beard before we can get out of here.”
She looked up at him and Jack began to laugh.
“Why don’t you give her yours and grow up a new one before spring?” Jack suggested.
Joseph studied her face. Alice furrowed her brow.
“I won’t be long. I should have shown up in town long before now anyway,” Joseph said, trying to assure her as he loaded his pack to go into town with Jack. “Stay indoors and keep the fires going.” He could see the worry on her face. “I’ll have a better idea what I need to do to prepare to leave.”
Alice nodded silently and closed the door behind him. For a moment she was overcome with terror. Without him she was certain she could not survive. It was dark nearly all the time now and they never ventured out alone. When she saw the snow begin to fall outside the window she nearly stopped breathing.
The blizzard raged outside. It fell easy at first but within an hour it was completely white and she could not see more than a few feet even if she opened the door. The chickens clucked softly and she sat in the candlelight, shivering in spite of the layers of clothing she wore. She paced the room for over an hour and tried singing to herself, attempting to recall the words to every parlor song she had ever heard.
Eventually she exhausted herself and crawled into her bed roll. The hard frost had begun to creep along the floor the last few nights. She had meant to speak to Joseph about it, but never did, and now that the cold had come she tried to devise a way to make a bed up off the floor. When she looked outside again the moon had risen and the snow had stopped. Eerie blue shadows fell across the mounds of snow and she was certain she would not see Joseph that night. Alice decided that she would sleep in the bed. Just once.
She crawled in between the quilts and was instantly impressed by how soft and warm the bed was.
“I’m a fool,” she said aloud. “I should have let him have the bedroll when he offered. Or I should be in the bed with him.”
Her mind began to wander and again she imagined herself experiencing his kiss. She closed her eyes and lay back on the soft pillows. Then she thought she heard a voice.
Chapter Fourtee n
Joseph trudged through the deep snow. His snowshoes kept him from sinking entirely but the snow was light and soft, unusual for so early in the season and the climbing was hard.
Jack’s description of the mood in town was no exaggeration. If anything, the situation was worse than Joseph had imagined. There had been big strikes. Downriver, several prospectors had found gold in large amounts. With nowhere to go and nothing to buy they were filling the saloon like a cattle drive and celebrating violently on hard whiskey. The entire town was in a ruckus and Joseph knew when the ice melted it was going to get even worse. He and Alice would have to pack everything they wanted to bring and carry it themselves. The gold alone would be heavy. He would need to explain to her that it would be best to leave her luggage behind. He was glad she had gotten so strong over the summer.
On his way to post a letter to Yvonne, a big, burly man in a beaver pelt hat grabbed Joseph by the shoulder and turned him around.
“Hey ain’t you that feller that was with that whore that ran off?”
Joseph saw that the man had a few confederates standing with him and it was clear he was outnumbered.
“What whore?” he asked.
The man considered the situation, grunted and let go of Joseph’s shirt. He and his friends moved on, much to Joseph’s relief. He decided to ask around about the girl who had drowned.
Later, he faced the task of getting back to the cabin safely. He was only about a quarter of a mile away when he heard the wolves. He carried a gun, but if the pack was large it might not be enough. If he was close to the cabin they were less likely to attack with the smell of burning wood and the scent of humans in the area. As he crossed the creek his foot slipped, his snowshoe broke and he slid downstream several yards. He stopped abruptly, his ankle painfully lodged between two large boulders.
The chill of the water creeping into his clothing startled him. Joseph pulled at his leg. His ankle did not seem to be broken but it was wedged hard between the rocks and he could not get enough leverage to move either one. He looked around for a nearby stick or branch but none were within his reach. If he called out and Alice did not hear him, the wolves would. He decided he had no choice. If he sat in the water very long he would freeze. Joseph called out her name.
Alice listened and heard it again. Then she heard the gunshot. In all the time they had been in the hills she had seen no one except Jack and Joseph. It had to be one of them, she thought. She pulled on a heavy fur parka and her warmest boots and took up the pitch covered pole that they kept by the door to navigate in the darkness of the winter days. She set it to the fire box and the pole caught, sending the chickens scurrying. Alice ventured outside.
“Joseph!” she called as loud as she could.
Alice caught the howl of a wolf and then another. Then she heard Joseph’s voice from the creek.
She tramped through the deep snow until she reached the water and called again. She heard him again, and the wolves as well. Then she heard another gunshot and a yelp.
Alice trudged through the snow and when she came to the dip in the hill she saw him. He was sitting in the freezing water with several large wolves circling him and snarling angrily. Alice ran towards them waving the torch and hollering. The canines retreated several feet.
“I’m stuck!” he called to her.
Alice handed him the torch, sat in the snow and pulled at the smaller boulder. It held fast and she kicked it hard in an attempt to dislodge it. When it did not give she moved around to try the other.
The wolves crept closer, snarling low and Alice abandoned her attempts long enough to chase them back again. She tried the other rock with no better results.
“I need the pickaxe. I think I could pry it.” Alice looked at the wolves. “I’ll leave the torch here. I can move, they may not bother me.”
Joseph thought that, with her heavy clothing, they might think she was larger than she actually was. If she left and took the torch they would surely attack him there alone.
“Take the gun. If they follow, you might be able to scare them off.”
Alice nodded silently, taking the weapon. She trudged back towards the cabin and dug out the axe with her bare hands. She had begun to shiver and, once she had freed the tool, she used it like a cane to get through the heavy snow back to the creek.
Joseph could no longer feel his trapped ankle and the icy water filled his trousers, soaking him to the skin. He considered what would have happened if Alice had not heard his calls, or if she had not been there at all. After the mine had caved in she had waited on him without complaint for several days. He knew of many prospectors who had come to the Yukon and not survived and many partnerships that had failed. He vowed that she would have everything she needed to do as she pleased when they left. He would voice no opinion of what she chose to do with her share.
When she returned the wolves had closed in and she waved the torch again.
Alice worked the point of the pickaxe into the frozen soil beside the boulder and leaned against the handle. She felt the tool flex but the stone did not budge.
She was shivering hard now, but Joseph’s face was turning pale and she knew if she did not free h
im quickly it would mean his death. She worked the pickaxe into the ground beside the next rock and pushed at the handle with all of her might. Joseph reached up and pulled as well and the handle broke with a loud crack. Alice kicked her foot against the rock in anger and felt it move.
“It’s loose! Give it to me!” She shoved the head of the pickaxe in again and pumped it down with her foot. The boulder gave way and Joseph fell back in the creek.
“Get up. You need to walk.” She took up the torch and pulled his arm until he was on his feet and could balance with her help. Alice could see that his ankle was bleeding, but decided it was not bad enough to be life-threatening. Stopping often to drive back the wolves, they slowly made their way home. Several times he nearly fainted and Alice slapped his face hard until he grimaced at her and they went a bit farther. When she saw the glow of cabin windows in the distance she began to talk to him through chattering teeth.
“J-Joseph. We are nearly at the c-cabin. K-Keep going.”
When Alice shoved open the door of the cabin they both fell inside with a hard thud. She could smell the familiar scent of the logs and the wood fire and feel the warmth on her frozen face. Despite shaking violently, she scrambled to her feet and pulled the door shut.
Alice pulled off her parka, threw several pieces of wood into the stove and adjusted the damper for more air in the box. She laid two pairs of long johns across a bench and moved it up close to the fire. Pulling off Joseph’s remaining snowshoe and his foot coverings, she tried several times to rouse him as he lay on the floor mumbling. His ankle bled but did not swell or appear to be broken. She struggled until she had pulled him upright and leaned him against the bed.
Alice removed all of his wet clothing, stripping him to his long underwear and then retrieved the pair warming before the fire.
“You have to stand up,” she said, “by the bed here.” Alice got him to his feet and he leaned over the bed, his face in his crossed arms. She pulled off the underwear and lifted each foot, one at a time.
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