Avoiding Commitment

by craziebabe45

  Finally, she worked up the courage to press the button, then immediately hung up. Her hands were shaking so furiously that she nearly dropped the phone when she pulled it open again. Taking a few breaths to try to calm herself down, she finally punched the send button again. Listening to the number ring through twice nearly unnerved her. Finally, the line clicked over.

  "Lex," Jack said with surprise evident in his voice. "I didn't expect to hear from you again."

  "You implied," she began her voice cracking slightly with the effort of keeping calm, "that I could call you."

  "Sure. I said you could call me. I just never thought you actually would."

  "Yeah, I'm full of surprises," she said trying to play off her apprehension.

  "Always were," he said quietly.

  Lexi sighed before venturing forward. "My internship ends in two weeks. I will probably be coming to Atlanta to see my parents sometime after that. So I guess…what I'm saying is…that I'll do it. I'll come see you," she paused before allowing the last part of her sentence to roll off her tongue, "and meet your girlfriend."

  * * *

  K.A. Linde

  Coffee For Two

  And I'm a bad boy cause I dont even miss her

  I'm a bad boy for breakin her heart

  And I'm free, free fallin

  Yeah I'm free, free fallin

  - Tom Petty "Free Falling"

  * * *

  Chapter 2: Early September Six Years Earlier

  After first arriving at the university only a month earlier, Lexi's resident's assistant distributed a directory listing local restaurants, clubs, bars, and an array of study nooks for the incoming freshman. Nearly every other girl on her hall tossed the packet into the garbage on their way out the door, but Lexi held onto it hoping that it would reveal something worthwhile in this mysterious new city. She investigated a handful of study locations on the list while writing papers at the beginning of the semester. She found them all radically disappointing. When she came across a particular coffee shop on the list, she instantly fell in love. The coffee shop itself was nothing spectacular. To be honest, it was on the small side, especially for a college town. The rich aroma of freshly ground coffee beans engulfed her nostrils as soon as she set foot in the dimly lit shop. Twenty unmatched tables were tightly pushed together with just enough room to squeeze through. Green filtered lamps sat atop each table casting a pleasant emerald glow upon the customers. Counter space was nearly impossible to acquire. As the winter months slowly approached, a roaring fire crackled in a corner fireplace. Cushioned green lounge chairs were scattered haphazardly against the walls and aimlessly surrounding the fireplace. If one's desired study space was quiet with an overabundant amount of room to sprawl out, then this coffee shop was not the ideal place. On any given day, every table was constantly occupied with students and professors discussing anything from nuclear physics to Aristotelian philosophy to Freudian psychology. After spending a few late nights within this warm cozy place, Lexi laid claim to one of the tables adjacent to the fire facing the counter. She had chosen that particular table specifically for the instances when he was working.

  At first, she hadn't even noticed him. But the longer she visited, the more often she crossed paths with him, until she could almost predict when he would be working. Her friends, who preferred to study at the university learning center, continually attempted to cajole her out of the coffee shop. None of them could understand why she would want to work in this loud, crowded, inadvertently lit space and a feeble wireless internet connection. When they asked her why she never wanted to leave, she gave them the lame excuse of enjoying the atmosphere. After finally using up all of her false justifications, they finally weaseled it out of her. Him. Why go to the university learning center when you could have something nice to look at when you needed a break?

  Having finally explained just how attractive this guy was to her friend, Lexi found herself sitting in her usual seat with Olivia for company. She had been pretty sure that he would be working. Though, that was something she had refrained from confessing. "Well...what do you think?" Lexi asked flipping through her Philosophy 1001 class notes, and skimming through the lecture on Empiricists.

  "You're right. He is pretty hot," Olivia confirmed, running her fingers through her bleached blonde pixie cut letting the tiny strands of hair fall effortlessly back into place.

  "I meant about Locke."

  "He's dead right?" Olivia asked.

  Lexi rolled her eyes. "No, I mean...what's his idea about knowledge?" she asked trying hard not to glance up at him while Olivia blatantly ogled the eye candy.

  "Honestly, I don't care. I hate this stuff. I might just drop the class altogether. I don't get it," Olivia said shrugging her shoulders at her own indecipherable notes. "Him, I can fully understand. You should give it a shot." Her smile was genuine and her brown eyes glittered with excitement.

  Lexi brushed her off, feeling the weight of her gaze uncomfortably. "No, what I need to shoot for is an A on this midterm."

  Olivia rolled her eyes dramatically. "Whatever, you know you're going to get an A on this midterm no matter what. Come on; don't let a hot guy just fly before your eyes without doing anything about it. Don't you want to at least meet him? Know his name?"

  It was Lexi's turn to shrug. "I guess a name would be nice."

  "Have you ever even had a boyfriend?" Olivia asked giggling a little at the possibility that anyone had never had a boyfriend by the time they reached college.

  "Of course I've had a boyfriend," Lexi retorted defensively. "I'm just not looking for a relationship."

  "I didn't say you wanted or even needed a relationship. Doesn't mean you can't at least hang out with him," she uttered persuasively. "Lexi, you are crazy hot, and so is this guy. I don't see any reason why wouldn't go out with you. No need mooning over him all the time when he's available for the taking." Lexi smiled at Olivia. She was always good for a self-esteem booster. However, Lexi restrained herself from continuing the subject.

  After a pause, Olivia changed topics, "So anyway, are you coming to Nick and Neal's throw-down tonight at The Theatre?"

  "Yeah, I should be there," Lexi confirmed.

  "Good, I've been helping them plan this for a month. I need as many people there as possible." Lexi just nodded since she had heard this same rant nearly every day since Olivia had decided to become their publicist. "I'm going to get myself a double caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream," she added a wink just for good measure, "to go from sexy Coffee Guy, and then I'm going to head back to the dorm to do a little studying before I get ready for tonight."

  "Alright. When I'm finished here, I'll meet you and we can walk downtown together," Lexi agreed scribbling a quick note into her study guide. She watched Olivia slink over to the counter to get her coffee. Lexi quickly averted her eyes to avoid watching her friend shamelessly flirt with the guy she had just confirmed she might be interested in. But, she didn't think it really mattered that much. This guy was a no one to her, just a pretty face in a sea of pretty faces, she tried to convince herself.

  Peeping her head up to get a quick look at him, she caught him staring at her. Her cheeks burned hot with embarrassment, and she dove her head back into her books to avoid his gaze. This was surreal. Of all the times she had gazed his direction, she was pretty sure that he had never actually looked directly at her. After a moment, she allowed herself to glance up once more and found him doing the same. This time she let their eyes meet for a few short seconds before tossing her head back into her books. She told herself that she wouldn't look up the rest of the afternoon if it saved her from embarrassment. She pulled her loose bouncing curls into a ponytail and dug into her books; not looking up as she promised herself, until she saw that he was leaving. By that time, her studying was complete. Pulling open her red Coach satchel, she tossed the contents of the table into the bag, and made her way home to get ready.

  A few hours later, Lexi, Olivia, and fifteen
others they had managed to drag out of dorms were casually standing in the middle of the dance floor waiting for Nick and Neal to hit center stage. The Theatre was a large open space with couches positioned into booths around the perimeter and for smaller shows, on the dance floor. This was one of those shows. An array of cheap metal folding chairs was set up in a haphazard semicircle in front of the stage. Dim lights were set up around the mostly empty theatre. Beyond the students that Lexi had arrived with, perhaps thirty others were clustered in a corner. The regulars looked bored and distracted even before her friends got on stage, and she didn't care to imagine what drugs they were on that made their eyes looked so out of focus. Lexi peeled her gaze away, refocusing her attention.

  As the time passed, the room began to fill. Considering this was their first performance, they had drawn a relatively large crowd. A little over a hundred people poured into The Theatre just as Nick began spinning their opening track. Neal's original lyrics echoed throughout the room. A unanimous bounce began as the throng of people fell into rhythm with the flow of the music. Lexi sang along with some of the words she remembered.

  "You're not bad. Maybe you should show them how it's done," someone said to her.

  Lexi laughed out loud letting her curls bounce lightly. She turned to address whoever had said that and was face to face with him. She froze mid-laugh.

  "You think so?" she asked trying to recover from her shock.

  "Honestly, no," he said getting his turn to laugh.

  "Well thanks," she said playing hurt. "I'm very offended right now." Lexi placed her hand over her wounded heart. "So...do I know you or do you always just insult people when you first meet them?"

  He had to bend down so that she was able to hear him. He smelled like a heavenly combination of Irish spring soap and sexy cologne. "I think you study at the coffee shop I work at."

  She turned her head up to face him. His brown hair fell neatly across his eyes as he looked down upon her. She had never noticed just how clear blue his eyes really were until they were set intently and solely on her. "I think you might be right," she confirmed giving him a coy smile. She was having a hard time breathing with him looking at her like he was, so she forced herself to speak. "Are you much into college boy rap?"

  His laugh was easy and sincere. "No, not really, but this guy's not bad. He a friend of yours?"

  "Yeah. He lives in my dorm." She cringed realizing she had just given away her youth. She had no idea about his age or whether or not he would consider a measly freshman to be worth his time.

  "Nice. These guys right over there," he gestured with his thumb to the three guys clustered behind him, "lived on my hall last year in the dorms. Which one are you in?"

  She let out her breath not having even realized she had been holding it for so long. "Um...R-Hall."

  "That's where we were," he said nodding his head to the music.

  "How did you hear about them? I mean, if you don't really listen to the music," she couldn't help but ask.

  He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of purple paper. He opened it revealing the flyer Olivia had been relentlessly handing out for the past two weeks introducing Nick and Neal. "I believe a friend of yours gave this to me," he said pointing to Olivia over the crowd of people.

  Lexi giggled. That little devil. She hadn't been flirting with him when she had gone to get her coffee earlier that afternoon. In fact, she had been helping her by convincing Coffee Guy to come here tonight. "Well, yea, that's Olivia for you," she said shrugging, attempting to be nonchalant. "Oh, I'm Lexi, by the way." She extended her hand out to the side.

  "Lexi...hmm...I like that," he said taking her outstretched hand firmly in his and giving it a good squeeze. "Jack. It's very nice to meet you,"

  Silence fell between them as the show progressed. It really was near impossible to have a solid conversation with hip-hop beats blared in the background. When their set was complete, the crowd filed outside for an intermission allowing the main act time to set-up on stage. The majority of the people lit a cigarette as soon as they exited The Theatre. Lexi steered clear of them, and watched as her group of friends began making their way around the corner of the black building to the back entrance to meet up with Nick and Neal. Lexi waited awkwardly with Jack at the front of the building.

  Olivia exited through the glass doors covered with torn flyers advertising upcoming shows, and bounced up to them humming one of the lively little tunes she preferred. "Hey sweetie," she said kissing Lexi on the cheek as she hopped back and forth from one foot the other. "Oh my God, that was just as fantastic as I could have imagined," she said, her eyes glazed a little and her low cut blouse smelling strongly of beer and secondhand smoke. Lexi could have kissed her back for getting Jack here tonight. "Oh honey," Olivia said realizing that Jack was watching her, laughter evident in his eyes, "I'm so glad you could make it. You met my good friend Lexi?"

  "Sure did. But I think you're losing your group," he said pointing to the backdoor.

  Olivia's eyes bulged. "Oh dear, I am. Be back," she said pinching Lexi's arm as she raced after the rest of the group.

  "I guess she's a little bit drunk," Lexi commented shrugging her shoulders as she let her gaze land back on Jack.

  "A little?" he questioned. "Hold on one second," he said directing his attention his friends who were trailing behind him. "Hey guys, I'll meet you at Chamber. I think Chasity said she was working." Nodding, the three guys disappeared down the street leaving Jack and Lexi alone.

  Lexi assumed Chasity was a bartender, but refrained from asking. She had no desire whatsoever to know how they knew each other...or how well. "I'm not sure what my friends are doing," she said glancing around the corner, the group she had arrived with stumbling around outside with Nick and Neal at the center. "But by the look of things, I'm going to have to carry half of them home." At only a couple inches over five feet, that really would be a feat. "I should go catch up with them before they get into any trouble," she said looking concerned.

  "My friends are probably lost without me too," he said jokingly.

  "Are you working tomorrow?"

  "Are you studying tomorrow?" he countered flirtatiously.

  "I should be," she confirmed, thinking about the daunting stack of homework on her desk.

  "Then I should be there."

  She stood there for another second taking in his flawless appearance. He wore dark snug-fit jeans with a black button-up that he'd rolled the sleeves up to three-quarter length and worn navy Chuck Taylor's. He was taller than her by half a dozen inches with a well-toned muscular physique. She figured she wouldn't be able to reach his lips if she stood on her tip-toes, but he was strong enough to pick her up to them. Quickly pushing the idea out of her mind, she snapped herself back to reality. "Guess I'll see you there."

  "Sounds good," he said as she turned and began to walk down the alleyway. After a moment's hesitation, he called out to her, "Hey, Lexi." He jogged down the street after her. She turned on her green high heels to find him standing directly in front of her again. "I know you have to study tomorrow, but what are you doing Friday?" he asked hesitantly.

  She paused giving enough time to make it seem like she was considering her schedule. "I don't have any plans," she finally said fighting the uncontrollable silly grin contorting her face.

  "Did you want to hang out?"

  She nodded. "I'd like that."

  Friday night Lexi found herself pacing her tiny dorm room twining her dark curls around her fingers. Two beds were lofted on opposite sides of the room. A black futon rested under Lexi's bed; two mini fridges and a tiny tube television sat under her roommate's bed. A red and black print rug covered the tile floor and red curtains blocked out the view of the other high-rise dorms surrounding them. Lexi's side of the wrap-around metal desk held her black laptop and a selection of her favorite books and textbooks. The wall adjacent her desk held a collage of photographs neatly arranged, showcasing her college career thu
s far. Her roommate's desk was a mess of multi-colored papers clips, geometrically shaped Post-It notes, and furry-topped pens. The walls were lined with sorority initiation paraphernalia including a water bottle, five pictures frames with her letters scribbled all over them, and of most importantly, her Big Sis paddle.

  "Jen, do you think I look okay?" she asked of her roommate.

  Jennifer gave her a once-over. Lexi wore black slightly-worn skinny jeans, a pale green camisole with lace-trim and black thong sandals that strapped around her ankle. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail with the dark bouncing curls streaming out of the rubber band. A light coat of black mascara brushed her eyelashes and a hint of shimmer lip gloss adorned her lips. "Mmm," Jennifer said tilting her head to the side briefly before turning back to her Latin homework spread out across the futon.

  Lexi rolled her eyes and placed her hand on her hip. "What does that mean?"

  "You should probably pull your hair down and run a straightener through it and put on a cute dress," she said as a matter-of-fact. She hadn't even glanced up from her five-subject notebook to say this. "I have this perfect purple ensemble that will do wonders to detract from your brown eyes."

  Lexi was starting to get used to this behavior. Jennifer was remarkably honest which was generally valued in a person. But on someone as incredibly judgmental as Jennifer, not as flattering. "I think we're going to be outside though," Lexi told her, turning to face the full-length mirror hanging on the back of their door.

  "It's like seventy degrees outside," Jennifer said. Her gum smacked against the roof of her mouth as she spoke. "You can still wear a dress."

  Jennifer was one of those girls who thought everyone should wear a dress...for every occasion possible. Lexi was pretty certain that the only time Jennifer went without a dress was when she showered. Both her parents came from old southern money dating back farther than the Civil War. The Atlanta Country Club where they resided played host to stars such as Usher and half of the Atlanta Braves baseball team, among numerous others. She had once complained about missing Halloween away from home, because that year Usher had actually answered the door to pass out candy.