by craziebabe45
"Lex, you're killing me here. I want you. I just need to know if you are sure this is what you want."
She sighed heavily, her hands coming to cover her face. "Oh Jack, it's what I want." He sighed happily, and moved himself so that the tip just barely touched her. He then shifted his hips to rub it up against her gently. She moaned heavily at the feel of him, and then pushed herself away. "But I can't," she whispered sitting up against the headboard.
She watched his face fall as he realized that she wasn't going to go through with it. But he wasn't going to pressure her. If she said no, then he was going to be okay with that.
He rolled over to the other side of the bed and lay back against the sheets. "I just want to make everything up to you. If you don't want to go further, that's okay," he finally said after his breath began to even out.
Lexi hopped off the bed and quickly began throwing on clothes. "Actually, I don't think you should make it up to me."
"What?" he asked concern written on his face.
"Jack, I have a boyfriend. I can't believe I just did that." Guilt began to wash over her.
"But you said it was okay."
"I know I did. You didn't do anything wrong. You asked me if it was okay. I was wrong for not stopping you."
"No, Lex, you weren't wrong," he said joining her on the carpet and grabbing her hands in his.
"I was wrong. I can't be around you Jack."
"This is something you want though."
"Not while I'm with someone else," she said her face lifting to meet his. Tears were welling in her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. She was so ashamed of herself. "I just have to go."
"Lexi, please, don't run out like this," he said tugging on his boxers and jeans.
"I can't be around you," she yelled, hating herself for raising her voice when he had done nothing wrong. She just wanted to crawl into a hole. She felt like such a creep. How could she go on? How could she live with herself? She had been so lost in the moment – in him – that she couldn't even think straight. She couldn't process that she was ruining her life by being there with him, by letting him touch and kiss her like that. No matter how wonderful it had been the guilt she was feeling was so much worse.
"Don't beat yourself up about this," he whispered to her as she threw her purse onto her shoulder and moved towards the bedroom door. "I don't want you walking out the door and never talking to me again."
"Jack, what I feel for you...I can't feel like this when I have someone else. I'm not supposed to be this person. I'm not supposed to do these things. You have to understand. You're too much for me."
"I can't understand that. We're right for each other."
"But not right now," she said, hollowly repeating the words he had bestowed up her the last time they had tried to work things out. Her brown eyes glanced up and met his. "Isn't that right?"
"No," he said reaching out for her. "Right now is right." She backed away not wanting to be touched by anyone especially not him. All she needed was a scalding shower and a few nights of repentance. Thank God, Spencer wouldn't be back for a couple days. Maybe by then he wouldn't notice.
"No Jack," she murmured shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I can't be around you."
"Lex, come on."
"No," she stated firmly. "I'll miss you." Her words came out weak.
"I don't want to miss you again. I want to see you more. I want us to hang out. God, I want us to finish our movie."
She shook her head adamantly. "I shouldn't have come over. I knew this was going to happen. I'm such an idiot. I can't resist you. Good-bye," she said reaching out and giving him a fleeting kiss before yanking the door and rushing out of the room.
When she reached her car, she let the tears flow. She pulled out of his driveway nearly blinded by tears.
How had she thought that this could be some innocent night?
How could she lie to herself about what she was doing?
* * *
K.A. Linde
Interview with the Mistress
'Cause you're hot and you're cold
You're yes and you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
-Katy Perry "Hot and Cold"
* * *
Chapter 7 - Present
The coffee shop Bekah had chosen for them to sit down and finally have their conversation in was delightful. In some ways, it reminded her so much of the place where she and Jack had first met. It wasn't well-lit, and there were so many people milling around that it seemed damn near impossible that they were going to find a table. On the other hand, the establishment was huge. Unlike chain and small town coffee shops, this place had three stories and took up an entire corner of a building. Lexi rarely came to get coffee at places this large. For her, it lost the cozy atmosphere with the size, but she wasn't going to complain.
Meandering through the densely populated shop, they went on a search for an unoccupied table. Lexi veered away from Bekah hoping to spot an available table in the opposite direction. She let her thoughts wander as the search continued.
Jack had dropped her off outside the establishment. He had complained the whole way back about having to wear a tie, and had ditched her as soon as they arrived. He claimed that he would be gone only as long as it took for him to change before he would meet up with them. She was pretty pissed that he had left. After all, he was the reason for this stupid conversation she was supposed to be having. Honestly, she didn't know if it made it easier or harder knowing that Jack wouldn't be hearing everything she said. One on hand, she might be able to speak more freely about their relationship, because she wouldn't feel constrained by his memories. But at the same time, she might be more convincing if Jack was there to back her up.
"Lexi?" a voice called out to her.
She turned in a half-circle hoping to find Bekah finally seated at a booth. She just wanted to get this over with. But there was no one in sight. She heard her name called again, and this time she recognized the direction of the voice. Turning slowly, she stopped and gawked at the person who had called out to her.
"Oh my God! Krista is that you?" Lexi asked rushing to hug the petite girl who had once been her gymnastics captain in college. "I hardly recognized you."
"Yeah, I get that a lot," she peeped standing to accept the embrace.
"Your hair…it's all one color…brown," Lexi exclaimed in awe. "And who would have guessed anyone would ever find you in a business suit!"
"Not in a million years," she said adjusting her silky v-neck blouse to reveal a bit more cleavage. So maybe things weren't that different.
"I thought you were in Vegas. When did you come back to Atlanta?" Lexi asked enthusiastically. Krista giggled. The girl actually giggled holding out her left hand to reveal a huge diamond surrounded by four others on a white gold band. "Oh wow, that's beautiful." Lexi stared transfixed at her ring. The rock was enormous. Lexi didn't believe anyone actually wore diamonds that large out and about, but Krista always liked to catch people by surprise.
"I got married last winter. My husband's company has an Atlanta branch. He knew how much I loved it out here so he relocated. I'm working with some interior design company. It's kind of dull but the hours are flexible. If they weren't, I'd quit that shit and go fulltime at the gym. We've got some amazingly talented girls. Last year, we had one make it almost all the way through the Olympic trials," she explained.
"That's amazing!" Lexi exclaimed truly happy for her friend.
"So what are you doing here missy? I'd heard through the grapevine that you were in fucking New York City," Krista said her green eyes glimmering.
"Yeah, I am. I'm just here visiting a friend." Lexi stopped suddenly realizing that Krista and Jack knew each other. That thought had completely slipped her mind. "Actually, I'm visiting Jack. Uh…Jack Howard."
"Holy shit! Jack fucking Howard. Now that's a name I haven't heard in awhile. I thought you two would be married by now. Run off together o
r something," Krista noted.
Lexi blushed. "Um…no."
"Damn. You always seemed like a perfect pair to me," Krista told her. She watched as Lexi's complexion colored over further. "So where is he?" she asked her head swiveling hoping to catch a glimpse of him. "He's so delicious. I'd love to see him again."
Lexi laughed remembering why she had always liked Krista. She was so straight-forward and vulgar. It was refreshing, and reminded her of New York. "He actually just dropped me off. I'm here with his…" Lexi trailed off realizing that she had been standing here for awhile and had completely lost Bekah.
"With his what?" Krista asked curiously.
"Uh…hold on." Lexi pivoted trying to look through the crowd, but she was too short. She couldn't see anyone.
"Who are we looking for?" Krista asked scanning the throng of people.
"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you," Bekah stated calmly as she walked up in the opposite direction of where they had been searching.
"Yeah. Sorry," Lexi stated awkwardly turning to face her. "I just ran into a friend."
"What a coincidence," Bekah said turning to face Krista. "Bekah Bridges." She extended her hand formally.
Krista took it, but glanced at Lexi conspiratorially. "Krista Hammond."
"Pleased to meet you," Bekah properly replied. "Wait. Hammond?" she asked eyeing her appearance. Krista nodded one eyebrow arched perfectly. "Any connection to Hammond, Stern, & Birch?"
Krista's eyes narrowed. "That depends," she muttered. Krista, always blunt, asked her, "Who the hell are you?"
"Beg your pardon?"
Lexi stepped in. "Krista, this is Jack's girlfriend. That's what I was going to tell you. I'm here with his girlfriend."
Krista stared blankly from Lexi to Bekah and back. "You're dating Jack?" she finally asked Bekah.
"That's right."
"Not Lexi?" Krista demanded.
Lexi wanted to cover her face with her hands. This was not going to help their conversation at all.
"Well no," Bekah said confusion beginning to get etched into her features.
"I already told you that we weren't together," she reminded Krista.
"I'm sorry. How do you know a Hammond?" Bekah finally asked unintentionally snooty. "And how do you know Jack?"
"I used to fuck one of Jack's friends," Krista said nonchalantly at the same time as Lexi announced, "We were on the gymnastics team together."
The look Bekah shot Krista was a mixture of disdain and confusion. Lexi figured she wasn't used to being around such crudeness especially not from someone who had a name she recognized. This just reminded Lexi why she couldn't stand being around Country Club types.
Bekah shook her head letting her golden blonde hair swish around her face. A bright smile appeared out of nowhere. "Well it is nice to meet another friend of Jack's," Bekah said quickly adapting to the situation. "Perhaps we could get together sometime," she offered. "You know coffee or lunch. Whatever works best for you."
Krista glanced at Lexi humorously. "Yeah, maybe." Lexi could read her expression clear as day. No chance in hell.
"So, just out of curiosity, are you in any way related to Matt Hammond?" Bekah nosily asked.
"We got married last winter," Krista told her showing off her massive ring.
"Ahh," she said admiring the crystal clear cut. "Well this is a small world, isn't it? I've known Matt since childhood. He's actually used to be a pretty good friend of my brother's even though he spent the majority of his time in Las Vegas. I'd heard he was in town running his father's business, but now I understand why." Bekah smiled sweetly. "Will you tell him that I said hello and that he needs to visit."
Krista had one eye arched. "Sure thing. Hey, Lexi I've really got to be going. It was great seeing you. If you're in town for long, you'll have to stop by the gym," Krista said wrapping her in a hug. Just as she got close, she whispered in her ear, "How is Jack with her?" Lexi giggled finding it hard to believe herself. Krista slipped her a business card, grabbed her brown paper cup, and made her way towards the door.
"Well that was interesting," Bekah said rubbing her finger around her pearl earring.
"Yeah I guess," Lexi said standing awkwardly now that the comfort of Krista's presence had dissipated.
Bekah turned and face her. "I heard what she said you know."
Lexi stared at her; her mouth hanging open a little. She wasn't sure which part she was referring to, but with her luck it had to be the part about her and Jack. "Uh...what?"
"That she figured you and Jack would be married," she stated simply.
"Uh huh." Lexi wasn't sure what Bekah wanted her to say. She hadn't seen Krista in years, and after all, Jack was the reason that she knew Krista in the first place.
"I just want you to know that I don't think any less of you."
Lexi gawked at her. "Um what?" she asked again.
"I mean, that girl was so vulgar. I have no idea how Matt...you know what? Just never mind. Let's not go down that road," she said running her French manicured finger nails through her pin-straight hair. "I just want us to be open and honest with each other. I heard what she said about you and Jack. I felt a little uncomfortable."
Lexi could tell Bekah was waiting for her to say something, but she still had nothing to say. So she had eavesdropped on a conversation? Lexi didn't give a shit. She had told Krista that they weren't together. Her and Jack had never been together together, in fact. So it hardly concerned her.
"Well now that that's out of the way," Bekah chirped. "I found us a table."
Lexi had no idea what to think of this girl. She was all over the charts. She wanted to be completely honest one minute and then her best friend the next. Lexi wasn't sure if she could handle this anymore. This girl needed to chill out. Maybe smoke a blunt or something to relieve the tension. This couldn't be good for her sex life. Lexi cringed at the thought. She hadn't even considered that Bekah and Jack were sleeping together. She knew it was ridiculous, but even though she hadn't talked to him for two years, she couldn't picture him with another woman. Sure, they were together in public. They visited her family. They held hands. She refrained from gagging. But the intimate side, she hadn't really considered until just that second.
Lexi plopped down in the booth trying to push away the details that were forming in her conscious. She twirled her hair around her finger several times before shoving it carelessly behind her ear.
Bekah sighed heavily, and then turned to look at Lexi. "I think we got off on the wrong foot."
Lexi forced a smile. "Why do you say that?" Though Lexi could have given a million reasons why she could never...would never like this girl. She still wanted to hear what she thought on the subject.
"It's just...we were supposed to get this over with in the morning, and then I half-dragged you to meet my family. I mean, God, Jack didn't meet my parents until a couple months ago. I just don't want those things to cloud your view of me," Bekah said twirling her earring again.
"Oh...um ok," Lexi said noncommittally. Sure the Country Club experience had made being around her more difficult. However much that bothered her, nothing bothered her more than just the plain fact that she was dating Jack. This girl who seemingly had nothing in common with Jack, this girl who he hadn't even wanted to date to begin with, this girl who was practically forcing him to marry her so she wouldn't be cut off from her parents was who he had picked over her. Somehow, she just didn't think Bekah could recover from that. It almost made her want to giggle...in a sadistic sort of way.
"Well either way, I suspect you know why Jack asked you here," Bekah said smiling sweetly.
Lexi fixed her with a blank stare. Was this girl serious?
"But I just…I really don't want this to be awkward, you know?"
Lexi didn't know. She already thought this was awkward enough.
"So, I thought we could just get to know each other a little bit. I mean, I know I wouldn't confess…or tell a perfect stranger abou
t my past, especially not my love life."
Lexi wanted to tell her that she didn't much care who she told about her so-called relationship with Jack. That love life probably wasn't the best word to describe what they had gone through. He had chosen Bekah. It shouldn't matter who Lexi told now. And she'd really rather just get this over with. But she could tell that Bekah wasn't finished talking yet, so she held her tongue.
"I have a hard time talking to anyone about my love life," Bekah said easily blushing at the statement.
"Uh huh," Lexi finally added in.
"It's just that I make a good judge of character. Jack obviously liked you at some point." Lexi couldn't even form words for that statement. "Ramsey seems to know and like you. Though, he isn't exactly the best judge of character...or the best character, but regardless. I mean not to mention, you put up with Jennifer for at least a year, and nothing short of a miracle, can make a person go through that."
Lexi's mouth dropped. "You don't like Jennifer?"
Bekah's crinkled her little nose. "She's a little much for my tastes."
"But I thought Ramsey said you were friends."
"Friends is such a loose term. Our parents are friends so she was always...around," Bekah said shrugging her shoulders. "What I'm saying is that I know nothing about you."
Lexi hated how sincere Bekah was being. She was supposed to hate the girl. She was supposed to think she's a Country Clubber like everyone else, and go home happy or with a semblance of closure...or whatever. "Yeah, I don't really know anything about you either," Lexi admitted.
"Right well then, tell me about yourself Lexi," she said immediately returning to her diplomatic demeanor. Lexi hadn't exactly been prepared for the shift. "You don't mind me calling you Lexi do you?" Bekah asked politely, her smile strained at the edges.