Avoiding Commitment

by craziebabe45

  She reached for the nearest door which opened to a rather large walk in closet. The clothes were organized by style and color. It was almost terrifying how neat the closet was in comparison to her own mishmash of clothing stuffed into the tiny space at home. She shut the door behind her and walked achingly across the room to another door. This revealed a short blank hallway with several other doors and a staircase. She shuffled down the hallway, down the staircase, and around the corner into a familiar kitchen area.

  Sighing heavily, she realized she had spent the night at Ramsey's apartment. Panic hit her. Had she slept with him? Had anything happened? She put her hand to her head and trudged over to the sink. Fumbling with a glass she produced from a cabinet, she poured herself some water, refilled the glass and downed another. That helped, but not enough to ease the gnawing ache at the pit of her stomach.

  The front door crashed open and she swiveled a little too fast for the headache that had taken residence in her temples. Ramsey flanked by the two roommates she had met the night before paraded into the room together not taking any notice of Lexi. She became increasingly aware that she was wearing men's sleeping clothes with no bra, she had not seen a mirror, and she had the feeling she would be hungover until the next day at least. This all added up her looking terrible and wishing she had tried another door to get to a bathroom. Knowing they were all about to look at her in her condition made her already angry stomach lash out at her.

  Ramsey didn't even miss a beat when he looked at her. She looked like she had been through hell and back last night. Her long brown hair was tousled and tangled, and she looked a green tinge to her skin. But it did nothing to detract from her beauty. It was quite apparent that she needed nothing to make herself look good.

  "Oh good you're awake. I was afraid you were going to die up there." His roommates gaped at her before smirking at each other and venturing upstairs leaving her and Ramsey alone.

  Lexi hadn't worn a watch so she had no idea of the time. Apparently, this was starting to become a trend around Ramsey. "What time is it?" she croaked hating the way her voice sounded all throaty in the morning.

  He could have listened to her speak all day with how sexy her voice was in the morning. "Nearly two."

  "Oh my God!" she yelled too loud for her own ears. She pushed her palms to her temples and cringed. "Two in the afternoon?" she moaned.

  "Yea we would have brought you back lunch, but we weren't sure what you wanted. So I just got you coffee," he said holding up a brown Starbucks cup. She stared at it like it was her lifeline.

  "Uh…thanks," she said awkwardly reaching for the glass. "How did I end up in your guest bedroom last night and not at a hotel?" she meekly asked the question that was on her mind.

  "You weren't in my guest bedroom. You were in my room," he corrected her taking a step into her personal space.

  It was as she had dreaded. She had slept with him. God, she just wanted to bury her face in her hands. She didn't even remember sleeping with him. Had he been good? Had they been careful? Ugh…she felt like such a slut.

  "I dragged you up there after you passed out on my couch last night. I got you awake long enough for you to change into this," he gestured to her clothing. "Then tucked you into my bed where you proceeded to pass out again. And now here you are," he muttered quickly.

  "Wait, we didn't sleep together?" she asked blushing furiously as the question tumbled out of her mouth.

  "I didn't know you wanted to," he chirped smiling down brightly at her. How did he look so good in the morning…oh wait, afternoon?

  "Oh, I didn't say that I did. I just assumed…" she trailed off.

  "No, I did exactly what I said I was going to do except the part where you slept in a hotel. I thought you would like better accommodations than that."

  "Where did you sleep?"

  "Couch."

  "Oh, well, thank you." So she had been wrong. She liked knowing that her judgment was still intact. Jack had been completely misguided...just jealous ramblings of an ex-lover. Fantastic.

  "Anytime," he said still not leaving her personal space.

  "I know that you did a great thing by letting me stay at your place, but we really need to work on your manners Country Club boy," she quipped.

  "My manners?" he inquired.

  "Yeah. Personal space," she reminded him sticking her hand out and pushing him back a step.

  "Right. I forgot."

  "Oh black coffee. How did you know?" she asked after guzzling a good quantity into her system.

  "I paid attention at brunch yesterday."

  "Oh God was that only yesterday?"

  "Yeah, hey, do you want to go get some lunch?" he couldn't help asking.

  Lexi stared at him amazed. Was he asking her out? No way was that happening. Sure they had kissed and he had let her stay at his place, but that probably happened all the time. He was just being kind. And besides that she looked and felt terrible. He had to see that on her. Was he just humoring her?

  "Uh...I don't have any clothes. They were in Jack's car."

  "He left them," he said evading her first excuse.

  "I still feel kind of shitty," she admitted.

  "Alright then how about dinner?" he asked prepared for this.

  "Oh," she began chewing on her bottom lip and pushing her hair behind her ears. What was she supposed to say? He had been very generous and all she had been was rude to him. She figured she at least owed him that much. "Well I guess we could do that."

  "I mean you don't have to go," he said misinterpreting her hesitation.

  "No, no, we should go. I appreciate what you did for me last night."

  "Hey it's no problem. I'm letting you pay me back by allowing me to take you to dinner," he said smoothly scratching the back of his head thoughtfully as he looked at her.

  She smiled for the first time that morning. He had decided that he liked her smile much more than the frown she normally sent his way. He wasn't sure how he elicited such anger from her, but he would work much harder from now on so long as she continued smiling like that.

  "Alright. Sounds like a plan."

  "Like a date," he corrected sending her his most charming smile he could muster.

  * * *

  K.A. Linde

  A Simple Kiss

  Author's Note: Just FYI as you read this chapter if an entire statement is in italics that means it is a text message. Enjoy!

  * * *

  Is it still me that makes you sweat?

  Am I who you think about in bed?

  When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?

  Then think of what you did

  And how I hope to God he was worth it.

  When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin.

  -Panic at the Disco "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off"

  * * *

  Chapter 12: Late November Two and a Half Years Earlier

  "You busy?"

  Lexi read the text message she received from Jack and smiled. She relaxed back against the comfort of Clark's passenger seat. They were on their way back to his place after enjoying the brisk afternoon atmosphere at the quaint downtown deli just before finals.

  "Not sure. I'm w/ Clark. What's up?"

  "Who's that?" Clark asked his eyebrows furrowing as he watched her fingers slide against her beat up phone.

  "Oh," she said her head snapping up as she pressed the send button, "Jack's just seeing what we're doing tonight."

  "I want to see your sexy little body."

  Lexi grin widened at the message. "You miss me?"

  "What did you tell him?" Clark questioned her taking the turn a little faster than anticipated.

  "That it was up to you," she trilled merrily.

  "It's been five fucking long days!"

  "Well, in that case, maybe I can get away."

  "Did you want to do something?" Clark asked attemptin
g to read over her shoulder.

  "Doesn't matter to me. We can if you want," she said her head still buried in her phone. "Did you want to?"

  "Do that. I can't wait another minute without you."

  "I mean I was planning on going home," he said checking her reaction.

  She snapped her phone shut and turned to face him in her seat. "You want to leave?" she gasped. "I thought we were going to do something together this weekend. You were gone all last weekend with MBA stuff. Don't go." Clark had been accepted into their school's prestigious Business graduate program at the end of last year. It had been extremely beneficial that he had received the offer since that meant that he wasn't leaving for Atlanta to find a job. Instead, he would be able to stay in town for her senior year.

  "I'll try. No promises."

  "Lex, I'll make it worth it."

  "I haven't seen my parents in a long time though. You know that."

  "I know, but Thanksgiving isn't even until Thursday. Do you have to leave so early?" she asked. They had originally planned on going to their parents separately on Wednesday and staying through until the next weekend. That would give them both enough time together and apart.

  "You could come with me," he offered.

  Lexi crinkled her nose. Lexi loved Clark's parents. They were caring and loving and always wanted to take them out, but she had thought they were going to spend some much needed alone time together. Guess he had a different agenda. "You know I have that big paper due."

  "Oh I know you will make it worth it."

  "Then what's stopping you?"

  "It'd only be for the weekend. You'd still have the rest of the break to work on your paper."

  "Yeah maybe. I just feel really behind. With applications, LSAT, and everything I've just had no time to work on this paper, and it's due as soon as we get back."

  "Maybe I'll just go tonight and be back to be with you tomorrow. Would that give you more time to work on it?"

  "Clark."

  "…"

  "I shouldn't. I can't."

  "You won't. It's different."

  Lexi stuck out her bottom lip. "I'll miss you."

  "I'm sure you will."

  "What if he's in town? I can't get away."

  "You'll figure it out."

  "So what's Jack doing tonight?" Clark asked eyeing her suspiciously. "I didn't think you guys were still talking that much."

  "We're not really. I guess he's just bored. He's talking about going to downtown."

  "What about Kate?"

  "What about her?"

  "Is he trying to get a group together?" Clark asked curiously.

  "I guess so."

  Clark pulled his phone out of his pocket and lit up the screen. "Hmm…I'm surprised he didn't message me too."

  "We come as a match set. There'd be no reason to send messages to both of us," she informed him.

  "How are you going to get away from her?"

  "I don't know. I'll just tell her I don't want to hang out tonight."

  "That simple?"

  "Yes."

  "I supposed you're right. Maybe after you're finished with your studying you could go out tonight. You should go out tonight while I'm gone. Hang out with the crew and all. Have a good time. You've been too stressed lately."

  "Maybe," she stated uncertainly.

  "Clark thinks we're all going out tonight."

  "Why did you tell him that?"

  "He was asking a lot of questions..."

  "You should text Seth and see if he's going. That way you're guaranteed a good time, and plenty of girls to diffuse his advances," he said chuckling to himself. "Want me to text him?"

  "Oh no," she said quickly. She was pretty sure Jack hadn't messaged anyone else about it just yet. "I have his number."

  "You'll leave early with me if we go out?"

  "Of course. Don't invite Clark."

  "Like I'd want to."

  Hours later after kissing Clark good-bye and getting all dolled up, Lexi waited rather impatiently in her apartment. She had refused Jack's offer to pick her up just for proprieties sake. If they were going to be out in public, she'd rather not make it look like a date. She had planned on driving herself. However, Olivia had decided she wanted a night out and had insisted on driving. That was fine with Lexi, but Olivia was pretty much the slowest person on the planet. It took her at least thirty minutes longer than anyone else she knew when it came down to getting ready to go out.

  "Geez, Olivia could you take any longer?" Lexi asked pacing in front of Olivia's bathroom.

  "It could," she muttered.

  "You don't even have much hair," Lexi pointed out.

  "Which is why I have to make sure every tiny strand is perfect," Olivia said pulling her flat iron through her bleached blonde pixie cut again.

  "No one is even going to be in town," she whined.

  "Lexi, darling, that is the reason I should take so long. Anyone I see is going to be able to see all of me. I'll spend more time with each person individually. This inevitably means I should spend more time on my hair," Olivia said taking pleasure in Lexi's growing discomfort.

  Lexi groaned loudly. "I don't see why you have to take so long."

  "I don't see why you have to be so impatient. You're boy isn't even going to be out," Olivia said letting her brown eyes flutter to Lexi's face.

  A small blush crept onto Lexi's face. "So…"

  "So chill out," she said exaggeratedly.

  "Let's just get out of here."

  "You can't rush perfection," Olivia explained placing the straightener on the off-white counter top. Her hand reflexively reached out for the tall hairspray bottle.

  Lexi groaned again. "Honestly how much of that stuff do you put in your hair?"

  After lathering on another layer, Olivia snuck a glance at Lexi. "Alright fine. Are you going to tell me why you are being so impatient?" she asked raising one eyebrow inquisitively.

  "I'm always impatient."

  "Not like this."

  "I just...uh…miss Clark. I want to get out of here so I can get my mind off of him being gone," Lexi said anxiously pushing her hair behind her ear. She really was a terrible liar and did not want to have to deal with Olivia being any more nosy than normal.

  Olivia raised an eyebrow further. "You sure that's all it is? You look like perhaps you are anxious to see someone?"

  "I don't know what you're talking about."

  "Oh come on. I know that you've liked Jack since the beginning of time, chica. It's not like you have to hide that fact from me," she said coolly leaning against the sink.

  "Jack and I are just friends."

  "Yeah and pigs can fly."

  "Livy, cut it out. You've been on me about Jack since you managed to get him to that concert. I just don't want to hear it anymore. You know what happened between us after that catastrophe. So just leave it be for once," Lexi cried vehemently.

  "I'm just looking out for your own good."

  "Sure," Lexi said rolling her eyes.

  "You know you can tell me anything though Lexi," Olvia said her tone turning serious. "I wouldn't tell Clark if something happened with you and Jack. You're my best friend. I hope you'd trust me with anything. Or at least all the raunchy details," she said giggling convulsively.

  Talk about a guilt trip. Lexi wanted to trust Olivia with the details of what had happened with Jack all those months ago, and what was continuing to happen to this day. Something deep inside told her that the only person she could trust with what she was doing was herself…and Jack, of course. Sure the gravity of the situation was eating away at her, but even that wouldn't open her mouth. How could she tell anyone how she felt when she was having issues discerning that on her own? She knew quite firmly that she wanted to stay with Clark. But she just as firmly knew that she had no intention of giving up Jack…whatever she had with Jack. They had been apart for nearly three years previously, and she just could not imagine her life without him in it anymore. Something about t
he way they were together this time changed the whole dynamic of their relationship. She just wasn't sure how much it had changed everything. After all, she was still with Clark. He was still with Kate. Neither of them had talked about breaking up. Yet, they still spent time together whenever possible. She didn't know what to think about that, and the last thing she wanted to do was cloud her already misguided judgments with other people's opinions.

  "I know I can trust you with whatever, but there's nothing to tell," Lexi lied smoothly. "Now can we get going?"

  Olivia clicked the off switch on her straightener, glanced at her perfect appearance, and then nodded. Ten minutes later they were pulling into a rather fortunate parking spot down the street from Chamber. Lexi twirled her own stick straight hair around her finger as she approached the door.

  "Stop fiddling with it," Olivia said swiping at her hand.

  "My hair doesn't look good so straight like yours," Lexi whined. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

  "Whatever shut up. Everyone is going to love it."

  Lexi strutted to the door and smiled playfully at the bouncer. "Hey Max," she said kissing him lightly on the cheek as she breezed through the door without him even bothering to ask for her identification.