by Jana Aston
When I emerged from my bedroom wearing yoga pants and my favorite pink sweater, Gray and Horatio’s bromance was in full swing. This from the cat who hissed at everyone, except for my grandmother. I wouldn’t care to lay odds on my cat being a beneficiary in my grandmother’s will, either.
I sat down opposite of them in my big fluffy chair, actually feeling comfortable for the first time in many hours.
“Don’t the two of you look cozy,” I offered as a greeting to break the ice. Everything felt awkward now, but I was determined to forge ahead and get my answers to some questions that had been bothering me for a while now.
Gray’s eyes flicked over me quickly and then refocused on Horatio. “He’s awesome,” he said, while repeatedly stroking down Horatio’s back from head to tail. “He would love it at Mount Laurel.”
“My grandmother got Horatio for me two years ago as a birthday present.”
“I remember you telling me he and Dr. Voldemort did not get along,” Gray said, while keeping his eyes focused on Horatio. “Smart cat.”
“I don’t think I have ever heard you refer to him by name, Gray.”
Silence infused with strains of purring cat was all I got by way of a response.
“Tim. His name is Dr. Timothy Pellton—”
“I know the cocksucker’s name—I just don’t want to speak it.”
I sighed. “Why do you hate him so much?”
“Why don’t you hate him enough?” he asked angrily.
“Are you afraid I would take him back? Is that why?” God, I would never take Tim back after what he did to me.
Again, with more of the silent-treatment combined with ultra-focused cat-petting.
“Gray?”
“Hmm?”
He finally looked up to meet me eye to eye. Gray was teetering on the edge of losing his self-control, and I sensed it wouldn’t take much to push him over.
I decided to give him a shove anyway.
“You’d better start talking, Grayson Lash, or you can get the hell out of my house.”
“Okay, you want honesty, you got it, baby,” he snapped. “Where do I fuckin’ start?”
“How about start with why you hate Tim so much?”
“He got you to fall in love with him, and then agree to marry him.”
“Why do you care who I love or who I marry? It’s all so very stupid. You never wanted me until I was with him. That’s the honest-to-God-truth, Gray, and you know it. Please tell me why you want to marry me now and not before.”
“I have always cared about you, Pink. Always.”
“That is not what I am asking you. I know you care about me. Can’t you just be honest with me for two damn minutes?”
“You were always supposed to marry me,” he shouted back.
Horatio howled and took off like a streak of gray smoke, disappearing from Gray’s lap in a nanosecond. Most likely he was now hiding under my bed, and would stay there until he felt good and ready to come out. Horatio did what he wanted, when he wanted.
“But you never cared who I dated. You told me we could never be together right after your father died. You did not want me, Gray. It was not the other way around.”
“Well, I changed my mind, okay? I do want you. I want you to marry me, and be my wife, and live with me, and together we will make a wonderful life.”
“I’ve heard that part loud and clear, Grayson. What you won’t tell me is the reason why.”
“Well, I’d like to know why you keep running away from me. Why you left me with no explanation beyond a fuckin’ Dear John on hotel letterhead, after the night we shared two months ago. It must not have meant much to you. It did to me, though. That night we had together was something so right—”
“But I explained in my letter that I need some time. Why can’t you accept that I need time to put Tim behind me?”
“Because we don’t have any more motherfuckin’ time to spare!”
“What does that even mean?” I snarled.
“It means the difference of a billion-dollar fortune going to our son—or not.”
“I knew it. This has been about money from the very beginning. How disgusting.” I pretended outrage, but it was nothing I hadn’t already suspected. Gray was simply putting legs to the idea.
“Do you even grasp the concept of a billion-dollar legacy, Reese? Talk to your grandfather if you don’t believe me. I went to Harvard with his contracts lawyer. James Blakney in Boston can give you every detail. Theodore set this plan in motion with my father fifteen years ago. We get married before you turn twenty-five. And then we make some sons whose surname will legally change to Pinkarver-Lash. How can you even act surprised by this news?”
I felt my heart drop to the floor. My grandfather was going to try to control my life from beyond the grave. To manipulate me by influencing the destiny of my innocent children who hadn’t even been born yet.
“This is our game plan, devised by others long ago.” He gestured with his hand back and forth between us. “We are merely the players in the game. Did no one ever mention the rules to you, princess?” he asked bitterly.
No, they did not.
“But what about love?” The tears were coming so hard now I could barely see his face anymore.
“Love has no place in politics, or games of chess. You play, and do your best to win. That’s how it works. Love tears people apart, and then it destroys them.”
“I don’t believe that at all.”
“You should. Take a long hard look at yourself, Reese. You’re terrified to move on from the love you feel for a piece of shit who discarded you for the right price. He did that for money. What did you just call it? Disgusting, wasn’t it?”
“No, he did not…” I sobbed.
“Yes, he did, Reese. Pellton did not deserve you, any more than he could have made you a happy life.”
I didn’t want to believe Tim could have betrayed me so carelessly, but deep down I knew Gray was speaking the truth. Gray had always been truthful with me, and trustworthy, and respectful, and loyal.
The weight of fear can be devastating, and so I needed to face my fears once and for all, to conquer their hold on me.
“Please leave my house,” I said numbly, “I want to be alone now.”
***
AFTER HE’D GONE, I crawled into my bed with Horatio and cried myself to sleep. My tears couldn’t wash away the terrible look of defeat on Gray’s face, though. It was burned into my mind. We’d exchanged some harsh words last night. Some of them, I would painfully remember. Some, I would choose to forget. The truth did hurt, but at least it was an honest hurt. For myself, I would rather be hurt by truth, than by a lie.
When I separated out the facts, I could see exactly how Tim had hurt me with lies, and conversely, Gray with the truth. This revelation changed nothing to stem the pain, though.
Gray was correct about love tearing people apart.
Gray was so right about many things I wasn’t yet ready to own. The hardest part was when he’d asked me if I was in love with him. My answering silence had been deafening.
He told me I knew where to find him if I ever had a change of heart, right before he walked out. Meaning he hadn’t written me off completely. He’d still be there for me if I ever needed him.
And that was the caliber of man that made up Grayson T. Lash III. Solid, dependable, loyal and truthful. A laundry list of admirable qualities, attached to a man who was so much more than I ever hoped to find, in someone I loved.
***
A PHONE CALL the next morning woke me from a dead sleep. I let it go to voicemail, until I heard the caller identify himself. I fumbled to get it before he hung up, and for once, achieved success. “Dr. Romero, hello.”
“Good morning, Reese. I’m so glad you picked up, because I don’t leave messages for this sort of thing.”
“What is it? I feel completely fine after a night of sleep.” Not really, but definitely the more socially appropriate response.
“Oh?”
“Yes, your HCG levels indicate that you are pregnant now.”
Chapter 9
Reese
My mother might have been young when she had me, but she learned very quickly how to protect and insulate me away from the powerful influences of my father’s family. By the time they were back in our lives, she was legally and emotionally in control of the relationship. After all, my mother held all the cards once my father was gone, and there was not a thing Theodore Pinkarver could do to change it.
At least not until I legally became an adult.
When I turned eighteen, there was some talk of a new will in place that would name me as a major beneficiary, but I didn’t know very much more than that. I’d never really been interested in how much my grandparents were worth. I knew they were wealthy, but only in the sense that a child looks up to the adults who oversee the purse strings. It made logical sense that families of former presidents weren’t ever going to be on welfare, or food stamps, or homeless.
My first action after hanging up with Dr. Romero was to count back to my last Depo shot and do the math. No method of birth control was one hundred percent fail proof, but I had to concede that I’d been late for my shot by a good month. The safe zone is one shot every three months, so it was possible a few of the little swimmers were not deterred during my night with Gray seven weeks ago. More sex increases the chances. We had provided several opportunities in a single night from what I could figure out. All things considered, I had been under the influence, and yet what little I did remember of the experience, had been Gray asking if I wanted him to use a condom.
I’d very easily (stupidly) told him no.
This was not Gray’s fault.
It was mine.
And it was well past time for me to speak with my mother.
***
“REESE, MY SWEET baby girl, why are you crying?”
“Mama, I have messed things up, and I’m so scared. I’m afraid for what will happen to us now.”
“Us?”
“I’m pregnant with Gray’s child and I’ve hurt him badly—and I just found out about the money—and I’ve been to the ER with asthma, and found out that Tim left me, because Grandfather paid him off…” I’m sure there was a great deal more incoherent babbling inserted in between my crying meltdown that went into our conversation, but I didn’t care, once I heard my mother’s voice on the other end of the line telling me she was on her way to me.
It would take an entire day for her to get to DC, though.
She gave me some very good advice to consider during the time it would take her to travel to me. I listened to my mother, because she knew a thing or two about being single and pregnant with an American presidential legacy, now didn’t she?
“I know you are terrified and emotional, sweetheart, but now you have to consider the welfare of your child over what you might want for yourself. From now on, whatever’s best for your baby, is what is best for you as well.”
“You’re right, Mama, of course, but the things I said to Gray were cruel—”
“Gray is a grown man, and he will get over it—as will you. If there is one thing I am sure of, Reese darling, is that Gray loves you and he has for years. He just doesn’t know exactly how to say the words, but I think that’s about to change.”
“No, he told me he’d never been in love, and it was a waste of emotion that destroyed lives.”
“Oh really, well, I am quite certain that our dear Mr. Lash is about to be served an entire meal of crow on that particular matter, which he will happily eat down to the very last morsel.”
“No, Mama, I don’t think so,” I said sadly.
“I want you to think about what you would want if this situation were reversed. Would you want to be told about the baby?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Don’t you think Gray should hear the news from you first?”
“Yes,” I admitted weakly.
“Don’t sign any contracts until I’m there and we have lawyers present, but you can at least tell the father of your child he has a baby on the way.”
***
MY HEART POUNDED in my chest so hard I could feel my whole body vibrate with every thudding beat. I could see my fingers shaking as I tapped out a text to Gray on my phone.
Reese: I need to see you in person. I have something very important to tell you. Are you still in town?
Gray: I stayed over at Lance’s place last night. I have something important to say, too. Where are you now?
Reese: On the metro. I am coming to you.
Gray: CAPITOL SOUTH Station?
Reese: Yes.
Chapter 10
Gray
I am coming to you. Reese was coming to me. The ache I’d felt since she’d asked me to leave her place last night lifted immediately, as if the elephant who’d been sitting on my chest had just up and moved his fat ass to sit somewhere else. Thank God.
I bolted out of Oakley’s front door, and headed up New Jersey Avenue to the metro station where I would meet my woman. My lovely Pink was coming to me, and I would be there waiting for her when she arrived. I knew exactly what to say to her this time. I had all of the words that needed to be said, ready on the tip of my tongue. What had seemed so terrifying to me just a day ago, did not scare me anymore.
Not waking up to her beside me every morning, scared me. Never introducing her as my wife, scared me. Never being inside her again when she was coming, scared me. I had a lot of fuckin’ fears where my Pink was concerned, but not one of those fears hinged upon saying three very important words, I would happily shout down to her from the rooftop of the Library of Congress at CAPITOL SOUTH station for all to hear. Hopefully that shit would be Facebook Live’d by someone, and on the seven o’clock news.
I ran as fast as my legs would take me.
We saw each other at the same time. She was walking fast, when she spotted me. Her steps slowed, but she kept closing the distance between us. Closer to where I stood waiting. Reese had said she would come to me, and so that was what we were doing here.
Keeping our promise.
I could see she’d been crying. I wanted to kiss and lick away every trace of her tears, and I would later—after we got this important business out of the way.
She brought a hand to her heart and held it there as she took more steps toward me, her long blonde hair blowing back gently in the autumn breeze. I noticed she had on the pink sweater she’d worn last night. The pale color had always suited her.
My Pink looked lovely in pink.
I held out my arms, because I just couldn’t wait another second before holding her against me.
She understood and accepted my gesture by running the last bit of the way. And then she was in my arms, and I was spinning her in a circle. I kissed her as if my life depended upon her lips to survive the next minutes. I’m sure my life did require her kisses for survival, but eventually she pulled back to meet me eye to eye.
“Gray, I have to tell you something,” she said with her palm to the side of my cheek. “It’s very important.”
“Please let me say mine first. It’s very important too.”
She nodded and looked up, giving me her full attention. I held up three fingers and said, “Three words. I love you.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I love you. I learned that loving you is not a thing I can choose to do, or not do. Love is something I finally understand after all these years. And I only understand it in the context of you. I love you, Reese Amelia Pinkarver, and to prove it, I won’t ask you to marry me again.”
“You won’t marry me?”
“That’s not exactly what I said. There is more to add to the sentence. I won’t ask you to marry me again, at any time before your birth
day comes. So, you go on ahead and turn twenty-five, baby. I can wait for you as long as you need me to wait. I also don’t need your grandfather’s billion-dollar legacy. Let him donate it to some worthy charity in your father’s name, if that suits him better. I have enough money already, and in case you did not hear me say it before, I love you, so the only thing I cannot do without, is you.”
Her smile lit up her beautiful face so brightly it glowed. “Gray, I have three words for you, too.”
I figured she might throw me an I love you if I was very, very lucky. So, when she gave me her three words, my knees buckled and I nearly went down.
“We are pregnant.”
“We are?!”
But she wasn’t finished.
“I have a couple more three-worders for you, Grayson T. Lash III. ‘I love you.’ and ‘Let’s get married.’ tie everything up for us all nice and neat, don’t you agree, my love?”
Nodding enthusiastically, I went back to kissing my lovely Pink in front of the Library of Congress and the CAPITOL SOUTH metro station. I figured I had to be the luckiest man in all of America right about now, so the best plan for me was just to appreciate my good fortune, and my girl.
I could hear cheers and congratulations all around us, the gathering crowd clearly enjoying our show. Thanks to my buddy, Lance, who was putting it out on Facebook Live for us, we’d be able to watch it tonight on the seven o’clock news with the rest of the world.
Or any other time I needed a reminder of what real love looks like.
THE END
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
RAINE has been reading romance novels since she picked up that first Barbara Cartland paperback at the tender age of thirteen. She thinks it was The Flame is Love from 1975. And it’s a safe bet she’ll never stop reading romance novels because now she writes them too. Granted, Raine’s stories are edgy enough to turn Ms. Cartland in her grave, but to her way of thinking, a tall, dark and handsome hero never goes out of fashion. Never! A former teacher turned full-time writer of sexy romance stories, is how she fills her days. Raine has a prince of a husband, two brilliant sons, and two incredibly energetic Italian Greyhounds to pull her back into the real world if the writing takes her too far away. Her sons know she likes to write stories, but have never asked to read any. Thank God! She loves to hear from readers and chat about the characters in her books. You can connect with Raine at her Facebook Group, Raine Miller Romance Readers, or her website for information on her books, to sign up for emails, and find out what’s coming next.