by Aileen Fish
Now he sat behind the mahogany desk in his office nursing a bottle of port. A half-empty snifter rested in his hand as he stared through the crack in the drapes. Keery may well have Claudia in a lover’s embrace under the same stars at this very moment. Would she succumb to his practiced charms? He lifted the snifter, taking a long sip.
What a fool he was, pushing her away at every turn. Lady Luvington would be appalled at the very idea he had placed her between him and a chance at love. Even if the lady in question was the notorious Lady Akford, Sarah would wish him well. How had he failed to recognize it before? He set his snifter down and drew writing materials from his desk.
Tonight he would pen a letter to Sarah. He wished for her to hear of this from him. She may not be pleased at his choice, but she would not condemn him for it either. She was a true friend. He focused on penning his message, then closed the missive with his wax seal, and rang for a footman.
“My lord.”
Henry held out the letter. “Deliver this at once. Send our fastest man.”
The footman took his missive. “Right away, my lord.”
Henry offered a small nod. “That will be all.”
He settled back behind his desk and refilled the snifter. Sarah remained in Scotland at the Duke and Duchess of Goldstones estate. It would take days for his note to reach her, even longer for him to receive a reply. It mattered not. With or without Sarah’s blessing, he would be calling on Claudia come morning. He prayed he would not be too late.
***
By the time Claudia and Duchess Abernathy reached the ball, she had managed to work up some excitement. Then when Lord Keery whisked her out onto the dance floor, she determined to enjoy the evening. She relaxed in his arms, settling into the idea of once again being accepted into high society.
He moved her through the steps with grace and charmed her with his conversation. She was rather enjoying herself as he twirled her about the floor. Then her heart hitched at the sight of Henry. He stood near the wall with his sister, and they seemed to be deep in conversation. Had he seen her? Lord Keery spun her around, causing her to lose sight of Him.
She searched for Henry as Lord Keery continued to guide her through the steps. Fashionable lords and ladies were all about, dancing near her, standing around the room, and enjoying refreshments, but Henry seemed to have disappeared into the crush. She longed for her set to end so she might put increased effort into locating him.
Her heart soared at the possibility of spending even a moment’s time in his company. As Lord Keery led her from the dance floor, she spied Henry and Lady Jane taking their leave. Her hopes crashed onto the floor beneath her slippered feet. She was a ninny to have allowed herself those fleeting moments of anticipation.
She needed to get Henry out of her mind. He was not for her, and the sooner she embraced that particular truth, the better. She turned her attention back to Lord Keery. “Thank you for the dance, my lord.”
“The pleasure was all mine, I assure you.” He winked and settled a roguish grin on her. “Would you care for a glass of tea or lemonade?”
The toe-curling devil may care grin he bestowed on her only made her long for Henry’s tentative, sweet smiles. “A glass of lemonade would be most welcome,” she managed.
He escorted her toward the refreshments, then procured a glass for her. Before she knew what was happening, he had swept her behind a heavy set of drapes. She did not resist. He was a handsome gentleman with the perfect reputation for what she sought. If the rumors were accurate, she would do well to take him as her lover. Leastwise, she could give him a chance to earn her affection.
“You are a stunning woman.” He leaned in, whispering the words near her ear.
She stepped closer, desperation to forget Henry pushed her toward him. “I bet you say those exact words to all of the ladies who garner your interest.”
“London is brimming with stunning ladies, but none compare to your beauty.”
She could not stop the small laugh that bubbled out of her. “Do go on, my lord.”
“Shall I tell you all manner of scandalous things running through my mind?” His eyes smoldered with desire as his gaze roamed over her face and across her low neckline before meeting her stare again.
She stepped into his arms, tilting her head for his kiss. If any gentleman could wipe Henry from her mind, it would be this particular one. “I should rather prefer you show me.”
He tugged her against him, bringing his lips down on hers. Nothing. No pulsing need, no spark of desire, not even the faintest of tingling where their lips meet. Not one drop of passion stirred her. Oh, he was more than adept at the art of kissing. She simply did not burn for him. No matter how badly she wished to.
This was a terrible mistake. She risked her new found acceptance by allowing his advances and was a fool to believe anyone could make her forget, Henry. She pushed him away. “I am sorry. I must go.”
Chapter 11
Henry’s confidence had waned by morning. While he still believed Sarah would want to see him happy, he doubted on some level Claudia would be the lady to make it happen. She seemed far too comfortable in Keery’s arms last night. Perhaps any gentleman would do for her purposes.
He recalled the way she behaved the night they met at Lady Wexil’s house party. The words the foxed beauty had said to him screamed in his mind. “Perhaps you can help me forget.”
Did she still seek to forget her past woes? His mind gravitated to the conversation he and Keery had shared shortly after Claudia had made her bold request. “Enjoy her if given the chance. It is what I would do.” Bile rose in his throat at the very idea of Keery touching her.
Had Claudia made a similar request of Keery last night? Had he been all too happy to oblige? He flexed his fingers and released a deep breath. Bloody hell, he was angry. More than angry, jealousy burned through him, twisting his gut.
He peeked out the window as his carriage drew to a stop. Perhaps he had acted rashly in sending that note to Sarah. Claudia may own his heart, but he did not have to risk his pride on her as well. If he went to her, only to discover she was no longer interested in him, that he had been little more than a distraction, it would crush him.
But what if he were mistaken? Could he truly allow his warring emotions to ruin a chance at love? Regardless of his other feelings, he loved Claudia. Did he not owe it to them both to go to her?
He shoved the tiresome musings away as he climbed down from his carriage. Nothing would be decided at this early hour. First, he would enjoy his repast. Then he would make up his mind. He entered White’s and sat at his favorite table before ordering coffee and eggs. His mind would work better once he had broken his fast.
“Shillington, mind if I join you, old chap?”
Keery’s voice grated his nerves. He sat his coffee down with a clack as the gentleman took his seat. “It seems you already have.” Henry glanced around the space wondering who would notice if he were to take his leave before having his breakfast.
“It seems you are the topic of gossip this morning. Whatever sent you running from Almack’s last night?” Keery waved a hand in the air.
“It is nothing to concern you. I simply required rest.” Henry should not be surprised to learn the gossips had taken notice of his early leave the prior evening. All the same, he found it a bit disconcerting. Surely, the ton had better things to discuss.
“I do declare, if I did not know you better, I would think it was done purposefully.” Keery flipped open The Times and pointed to a gossip piece. “One would have thought Lady Akford to be today’s headline. She was a smashing success, but here the gossip is mostly about you.”
Henry glanced at the paper, not at all interested in conversing with Keery. What he would give the irksome gentleman to leave him alone just now.
“They are all speculating over what sent you home before the evening meal had been served. It only added to the current gossip about her breaking your heart.” He accepted a porcelain
cup from a servant before returning his focus to Henry. “Tell me, old chap. Is your heart broken?”
“Rubbish,” Henry said. He swatted the paper away. Blast the ton for entertaining themselves at his and Claudia’s expense.
“I am of the mindset you broke hers. I did not think you had it in you, Shillington. Do tell, what happened between you and the lady?”
Henry snapped his attention to Keery. “Why ever would you say such a thing?” He peered at Keery from across the table. Devil take it. He had hurt Claudia, but her heart was not broken. Was it?
“I must admit, I am wounded. It has been a long time since a lady refused me. My masculinity is indeed suffering today.” A smirk firmly ensconced on his face. “The very idea of me, a renowned rake, being passed over for you. I may never recover.” Keery chuckled as he closed the paper. “I dare say, it is altogether too much.”
Henry could not help his scowl or the way his hands fisted at his sides. Keery had indeed attempted to touch Claudia. He wanted to punish him, to rip him apart. He should challenge him to a round of fisticuffs. Landing a few solid facers would no doubt make him feel a bit better.
“My word.” Keery’s eyes widened. “Surely you know I jest.”
“Did you touch her?” Henry forced the words out from between clenched teeth.
“Settle down, Shillington. She is as pure as I found her. I do say, you are enamored. It seems there is more to this than one broken heart.”
“Excuse me.” Henry pushed his chair out then exited White’s.
Claudia had pushed Keery away. It did not mean she wanted him, but she certainly did not want Keery. A rake, the very best sort to make a lady forget, and she denied him. Henry reveled in the information.
Twenty minutes later, Henry paced Claudia’s drawing room while he waited for her. His stomach turned at the possibility she might not greet him. He wondered at her reaction if she did come down. Would she tell him to go to the devil? It seemed too much to hope she would be pleased to have him calling. He would not blame her if she tossed him out on his ear after he had been so matter-of-fact that they could not be together. “Bloody fool.”
He looked at the long case clock by the far wall. Ten minutes had already passed since he arrived. Even if she turned him away, he desperately wished to see her this day. He had summoned every ounce of courage he possessed to come to her home. The fear of rejection picked at the back of his mind, but he refused to give into it. He had to make an attempt to court her, come what may.
Claudia stepped into the room after what seemed like hours. Henry sprung to his feet, dropping into a bow. “Lady Akford.”
“Henry, I do declare, I thought we were past formalities.” Claudia moved deeper into the drawing room, then positioned herself on a chase.
She was stunning as usual. Her hair had been arranged in a loose style, allowing her curls to cascade down her back. The dark green day gown she wore accentuated her striking eyes. The very sight of her left him breathless. He sat himself across from her while the desire to run his fingers through her luscious hair assaulted his good senses. Speak, you idiot. He searched for the words he wished to say but could not find them.
***
“I am most pleased to see you, but do tell, why you have come?” Claudia offered a warm smile, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach. It was too much to hope he had come to further their acquaintance. But, if not that, then what?
“I have been a fool. An utter fool.” He pressed his lips together.
“Not at all, Henry.” She fought the urge to go to him. “I am glad you came.”
“I made a mistake, Claudia. I am here to ask for your forgiveness. I never should have put Lady Luvington between us.” He wiped his palms on his trousers and looked at the toes of his hessian boots. “I wish to start anew.”
“Oh, Henry. I would like nothing more.” Her heart threatened to burst with joy until a wave of sorrow crashed down on her. They were not to be. She should have told him before now that she would not marry again.
He looked up from the floor. “I wish to properly court you.”
Her heart skipped several beats. “I do…” She swallowed back her forthcoming rejection. Perhaps if she allowed him to court her for a short time no harm would come of it. Who could say if a marriage proposal would follow? Perhaps he would tire of her before they reached such a point. “I would like that.”
His smile deepened. “Would you care to accompany me to Gunters for ices?”
She ignored a prickle of guilt and stood. “How delightful, and as luck would have it, I do love ices.”
Henry chuckled as he stood and proffered his arm.
Warmth moved from where she rested her fingertips on his muscled arm to spread through her. How would she ever beg him off? She wet her lips as he led her into the entry hall. She would not think of such things now.
A short while later, he handed her into his curricle. Gunter’s was just around the square. They could have walked, but she relished the idea of sitting near him too much to have suggested walking. She determined to enjoy what time they had, as she knew all too well, their courtship could not last.
He climbed in and settled beside her, taking the reins in his hands. “I hear you were a smashing success at last night’s ball.”
“Thank you. It was a splendid night. I will forever be grateful to Her Grace for procuring me the voucher. I do believe my relaunch into society could not have gone better.” She lifted a hand to her chest. “My, how I do prattle on.”
“I like to listen to you talk. Never doubt it.” He turned his head, taking in the sight of her for a brief moment before turning his attention back to the cobblestone road they travelled.
“What of you? Why did you take leave of the ball so early?” She studied his profile as she awaited his answer.
“I simply overtaxed myself. Nothing a good night’s sleep could not cure.”
She noticed the way his jaw muscle flexed. There was more to it than being overtaxed, but she would not pry.
He brought the curricle to a stop across from Gunter’s and climbed down. She picked at the folds of her skirts, ruminating on her deceit while Henry ordered their ices. They could both get hurt by her silence, her selfishness. She should tell him she would not marry again. Surely, he must have that particular outcome in mind. Marriage was, after all, the natural conclusion to a successful courtship. It was the very reason for courting in the first place.
Still, she enjoyed his company, his attention, and longed for his touch as she had never longed for another. She fancied herself half in love with him, though she could not say for sure when it had happened.
Perhaps it was that first night when he saved her from disgracing herself and her cousin. No one had ever put themselves out in such a way for her before. Then when he opened up to her about his past and held her in his arms after that silly game of tag. Her heart undoubtedly became his.
If she were any other lady, she would consider herself fortunate to marry Henry. He was dashing, sincere, gallant, what more could a lady want? Nevertheless, she knew all too well what marriage meant and the devastation that came with it. Her scars ran deep. She would not soon forget the lessons she learned at Akford’s hands. A shiver assaulted her, rattling her bones. She had to tell Henry that she would not marry again.
“A treat almost as sweet as you are.” Henry held out a pineapple ice startling her from her introspection.
Perhaps it would be best not to spoil this day. “Thank you.” She accepted the treat as he moved to lean against the square’s railing. He stretched his long legs out and propped one elbow up, smiling at her. Yes, she would savor this day for the rest of her life. Tomorrow, she would put an end to their courtship.
Chapter 12
Tomorrow had come and gone, but Claudia remained mum on the topic of marriage. Every day for the last fortnight, Henry had called on her. He took her for rides in his curricle, strolls through Hyde Park, and for ices at Gunter’s. In the eve
nings, he sought her out at balls and soirees, always dancing two sets with her, and though they were nonconsecutive, she understood his intent.
“Claudia, dear, did you hear me?” Vivian tapped her fan on the arm of her chair. “I said I have it on the best of authority that Lord Shillington is going to offer for you.”
Her head spun, causing the room to tilt around her. He planned to propose to her. The news should not come as a shock. She had let the courtship go on far too long. If it killed her and it well might, she would beg him off today. Preferably, before he had a chance to embarrass them both by proposing. Claudia lifted her teacup. “I will not marry him.”
“Surely, you jest.” Vivian pinned Claudia beneath her stare. “Your courtship has gone splendidly.”
“I most certainly do not jest. I told you long ago that I would not marry again.” Her heart broke at the words, but she did not allow her pain to show. Instead, she notched her chin in a stubborn show.
“He makes you happy. I see it in the way you look at him. Your face lights up at the mention of his name.” Vivian pointed her fan at Claudia. “You are in love. Do not deny it.”
Claudia could not refute her love for him if she tried, but nor did she have to admit her foolishness. She flicked open her fan and waved it in front of her burning cheeks. She would rather beg him off and remember their time together with happiness, then marry him and grow to be miserable. Her heart would heal, as would his.
Vivian looked at Duchess Abernathy. “Do say something.”
The duchess lowered her teacup to the table. “Love is a complicated emotion. Perhaps it would be best if we let them work this out on their own.”
Claudia angled her head toward the duchess. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure, dear.” The duchess smiled. “Nonetheless, I must also warn you not to be too hasty. As I told you before, marriage is a wonderful thing when two people truly love one another. Be mindful, you may not get a third chance with him.” She retrieved her teacup. “I will say no more on the matter.”