by Annette Mori
She tilted her head and looked at me. “Will you tell me of those different kinds of love?”
“Well, there is a mother’s love…” I stopped because I suddenly remembered one of my favorite children’s books and I wanted to share this with Celeste. I was glad I’d packed my iPad and could access the book on my Kindle app. I ran into the guest bedroom, pulled my e-reader from my overnight bag, and began scrolling through the Kindle library until I found the book, Love You Forever.
This book always made me cry. To me, this was the essence of love because no matter what the little boy did, his mother never stopped loving him. Of course it all came full circle when he rocked his mother and sang her the same words: I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my mommy you will be.
It was such a simple book, but captured the essence of unconditional love. As much as I liked to complain about my mom and her overwhelming need to try to stick her nose in my private affairs, I knew that she loved me. I don’t know why I never gave her the chance to help me with my angst over growing up and learning about my preference for women. While she may not throw a celebration party, I knew deep down that it would never stop her from loving me. Someday soon I would have to let her in on that little secret and give her the opportunity to show me that love.
Of course, I started bawling the minute I began to read the book to Celeste, and she definitely did not understand.
“I do not understand why the water falls from your eyes. Is this not something that occurs when you feel loss or sadness?” she asked.
“Yes, we cry when we’re sad or experience loss, but sometimes we cry for other reasons. It’s hard to explain. Sometimes people cry when they experience great emotion, including love or happiness, or when something moves you like a magnificent piece of art or music. When something touches your soul in such a profound way, tears appear. Poems or books do that to me. I am moved by words. Words matter.” I touched my chest where my heart lies. “I feel it here.”
She quirked her head. “Love is very complicated.”
“That, my friend, is an understatement. Besides a mother’s love, there is love between friends. There is love between energy mates as you put it. There is brotherly or sisterly love. Humans love their pets, like children, and sometimes refer to them as fur children—especially lesbians. There is love of music, art, food, nature, and sport. I suppose love is synonymous with passion. We throw around the word ‘love’ so carelessly that it has lost its true meaning. True love means sacrifice and compromise. Sometimes love means pain. Some people say there is a fine line between love and hate. I’m not sure I subscribe to that philosophy, but love and hate are both the ultimate emotions. Love can also be destructive and addictive.”
“I hope that I have enough time here on this planet to experience at least one of those types of love so that I may bring this concept back to Sisterna. What do you suggest I watch on the black box to learn about these different types of love?”
“Well I’m not so sure you can really learn about love from watching TV, but it can probably give you some rudimentary information. Like I said before, I think in order to really learn about something, you have to experience it firsthand. It might not be easy to explain, but everyone says you definitely know it when you feel it.”
“I read about this passion you speak of in one of your books. I would like to experience this passion. Perhaps it will help me learn about love.”
Okay this was it—the fork in the road. Would I be able to take the plunge? I decided to defer the decision until later. “Maybe, Celeste, but this will have to be experienced in private after we retire for the evening.”
“Retire?”
“Yes after we go to the bed to rest like we’ve done in the previous evenings.”
“This passion is experienced in the sleeping chambers?” she asked.
“Well not always, but for me, if it’s going to happen at all, yes, it will have to be in the sleeping chambers behind closed doors. I’d rather my first experience be in a comfortable private place, so no back-seat make-out sessions or rapid kitchen table excursions for me.”
She must have been satisfied with the answer because she turned her focus back on the television and continued to watch the movie.
†
Two hours later Sydney walked into the cabin with a cheesecake in one hand and our fish in the other.
I could tell she had been crying because her eyes had that puffy red-rimmed look about them.
I walked over to her, removed the dessert and salmon from her hands, placed them on the kitchen counter, and then did something uncharacteristic. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her. I stroked her cheek and then followed it with a kiss. “You okay?”
She pulled back and looked at me and I think she was in shock.
In all the years we’d been friends, I’d never had the nerve to hug her before, much less touch her so intimately. It was a chaste kiss, but I still kissed her on the lips versus her cheek.
She nodded, but didn’t say anything about her visit with Hollie. “I called in a favor and got us a cheesecake from the bakery.” She grinned.
I remembered the blueberries in her refrigerator and after I found a place to store the fish, I pulled them out to toss on top of the rich dessert.
“Excellent choice. They make the best cheesecake in the whole state.”
This assertion seemed to rouse Celeste from her movie, as she stretched and gracefully moved toward the delectable treat laid out on the counter.
“Will I like this cheesecake, Bella?”
“Oh yeah, this will definitely have you humming.”
“Sorry it’s so late, but since none of us have to get up early tomorrow, we can enjoy the sugar rush. Coffee anyone?” Sydney offered.
“Sure why not. I might as well indulge since we can all stay up late and maybe I can experience a good old fashioned slumber party since I never got invited as a kid,” I joked.
“You did too. I invited you all the time, but you never came,” Sydney pointed out.
“That’s because Hollie threatened to put super glue in my hair and other unspeakable cruelties. I didn’t dare accept the invitation. Besides, your invitations didn’t count.”
I didn’t really want to tell her all about the hideous, old-fashioned, night gear I had to wear as a further enhancement to my metal mouth. Mom had selected a positively ancient orthodontist who insisted on using the old techniques. I was beyond embarrassment about the additional accessories and would have never agreed to attend a slumber party even if Hollie didn’t show.
“Why not? What am I, chopped liver?” Sydney asked.
Celeste was watching us banter back and forth like she was watching a tennis match, her eyes moving from one to the other.
“I thought your mom made you invite me.”
“She did no such thing. I never understood why you always declined. Although, I must admit to wondering which creative excuse you would use. I looked forward to hearing them. My all-time favorite was that your cat had abandonment issues and would pee all over your shoes if you left her for one night.” Sydney chuckled.
“Actually, at the time, that was true. Gizmo’s not like that, but my cat at the time, Peaky, really did pee in a shoe when she thought I ignored her too much.”
“Ew. What did you do with the shoe?”
“I threw it out, you doofus. What did you think I would do, wear it to the prom?”
Sydney shrugged. “I don’t know. I only had two pair of shoes in high school, so I might have tried to rescue it.”
“You did not. You had a different pair of shoes for every sport you played.”
“Those don’t count because I always left them in my locker.”
“How come you only had two pair of shoes?” I couldn’t fathom this at all. I admit to being a shoe worshiper.
“How many do you really need? I had one for casual dress and one for dress up. Black goes with everything, you kn
ow.”
I laughed. “No it doesn’t. That’s ridiculous.”
“Well it went with everything I owned.”
I remembered back to high school and Sydney did seem to wear only black. That was her rebellious stage and I’m sure her parents were relieved when she grew out of it.
“Yeah, I guess it did go with everything you owned back then. Tell me you don’t only have two pair of shoes now.”
“Oh no, I’ve doubled my wardrobe. I now have four. Shoes aren’t my thing.”
“Someday you will have to let me take you shoe shopping. I don’t think they’ll kick you off the lesbian island for having more than four pair of shoes.”
“Oh I know that. Hollie has hundreds.” Sydney looked away when I frowned.
I definitely did not want her focused back on that she-devil so I took us down a different path. “How did we get on the topic of shoes anyway? Surely we have better subject matter to explore. How about if we talk about a plan of action for tomorrow?”
“I still have to meet Hollie for coffee. Nothing was settled tonight. It didn’t go well.” Sydney twirled her hair, which I knew was one of her nervous gestures.
Dang, that direction in our conversation backfired on me.
I reached for her hand and squeezed. Okay, now I was thinking that some kind of alien must have taken over my brain. I did not show anyone affection, except maybe my family, but that’s what we did in our family, hugs for everything.
“We’ll all take a hike when you get back. I seem to remember you enjoy all that nature crap. Maybe we can go camping or something. I know you were some kind of super girl scout.”
“I would enjoy learning about the flora on this planet,” Celeste interjected.
I had to hand it to her, she never broke from her belief in her alien origin.
“I think a hike is a perfect choice. I do my best thinking when I’m surrounded by the beauty of the mountains.” Sydney looked at me. “You would agree to camping? You know there are no electrical outlets for your hairdryer.”
“Everyone’s a comedian,” I grumbled. “That’s what baseball caps were designed for.”
Sydney slapped her hands together. “Perfect. I know just the spot.”
“Hey, I’m only agreeing to one night. That’s about as long as I’ll be able to keep from having to dig a hole in the ground. I refuse to…you know…I’d rather hold it. No coffee for me tomorrow.”
I did not camp, but if I wanted to cheer Sydney up, I knew I would have to agree to camping. However, there was no way I was going to defecate in the woods. That’s where my compromise ended.
Celeste was staring at the cheesecake. “Will we be able to taste this dessert tonight?” She smiled at me. “Did I use the correct name?”
Sydney opened a drawer and pulled out a knife. “Oh sorry. I almost forgot about the cheesecake. Yes, I believe a little sugar therapy is in order.” She cut the pie in thirds and reached into the cabinet directly above her head to pull out three plates. The slices were unusually large, but I wasn’t about to complain about that. The bakery did make the best cheesecake in the state.
“I’ll make the coffee if you show me where you keep the beans and the coffee pot.” Sydney pointed to the cabinet on my left and I found a bag of Pioneer Coffee from the local coffee house, a grinder, and a large French press. The teakettle was already on the stove, so I filled it with water and plunked it back on the burner. I filled up the coffee grinder, pushed the button, and the smell of fresh beans wafted into my nostrils, eliciting a sigh from me. I loved the smell of fresh ground coffee.
Sydney opened another drawer and retrieved three forks that she unceremoniously distributed on each of the plates.
I took the blueberries hidden in the refrigerator and placed them on the island for everyone to use as the perfect topping for the cheesecake.
Sydney’s eyes lit up while she pulled a large spoon out, dipping into the berries, and added a generous mound of the sweet fruit on top of each of our treats.
Neither of them waited for the coffee and plunged right into the creamy delight. Celeste’s humming began almost immediately. Sydney was moaning in pleasure and I was having my own little reaction to their obvious pleasure. I decided to delay my own gratification because nothing went better with dessert that a fresh cup of coffee.
Sydney must have noticed that I wasn’t eating and mumbled through a forkful of her dessert. “Mmm, aren’t you going to eat that?”
I pulled my cheesecake closer to me and placed my arms around the plate. “Mine. Don’t you even think about stealing a bite. I’m waiting to have this with my coffee.”
Sydney laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Miss Possessive.” She raised her eyebrow at me. “You know, Mabs, I don’t know what’s come over you, but I like this more playful side.”
I blushed. “I kind of like it too.”
“Her energy was hidden at first, but I recognized the potential,” Celeste stated as a matter of fact.
“That’s our Mabs, still waters run deep. I think there’s a whole river of passion hidden inside her.”
It didn’t sound like she was joking and I blushed again.
“Is this the passion you described when you tried to explain love?” Celeste asked.
I shrugged. “Sydney’s interpretation of love and passion may be completely different from mine.” I grinned at Sydney. “Why don’t you try to explain love to Celeste?”
Sydney’s eyes bored into mine. “That’s a tough one. I guess to me the ultimate love is putting someone else’s needs above your own, and patiently waiting for the right time to tell the person you love how you feel. Even if you’re not sure they feel the same way, you take that chance because it’s worth the risk, but only when they’re ready to hear it, because you love them enough to make sure they don’t suffer any negative consequences from your confession.”
“That’s beautiful, Sydney, and brave.” I felt my eyes water with emotion. “All right, enough of this mushy stuff. Let’s get in our PJs and have an all night movie marathon or do whatever you do at a slumber party. I need to make a call to work telling them I won’t be there tomorrow and then, let the party begin.” I frowned because I still wasn’t comfortable calling in sick. “You know I don’t take nearly enough vacation and I don’t think I can lie, so I’ll just tell them I need to take a few days to take care of some personal issues.”
“I knew it. You can’t even tell a little white lie. I don’t know how all that goodness fits into your compact little body.”
I waved away Sydney’s remark and made the call to my boss who didn’t even ask any questions. I guess he figured since I never asked for much time off, it must be important to me. He told me to take a couple of weeks because I deserved a real vacation. I eagerly accepted his suggestion.
I knew our slumber party was just delaying the inevitable decision about what to do with Celeste and her desire to try out the stuff in my lesbian erotica. I still wasn’t sure what I really wanted. I knew what my body wanted, but my mind was a completely different kettle of fish.
We ended up staying awake until about two a.m. and then one by one we dozed off. Sydney was the first to leave the party and retire to her bedroom. I woke up needing to go to the bathroom and found an afghan draped across Celeste and another one tucked around my feet and shoulders. I knew that Sydney had done this before she went off to bed. She was definitely the most thoughtful woman I’d ever met.
I gently shook Celeste awake. “Come on, Celeste, we should head off to bed because I don’t think camping will be nearly as comfortable.”
Saved by the slumber party. I knew I wouldn’t be faced with any life altering decisions tonight. We were both groggy and shuffled off to bed. I did enjoy cuddling close to Celeste and, as she would put it, sharing positive energy. It didn’t take her long to fall back to sleep with her arms wrapped snugly around my body. Although it took me a few minutes to join her in slumber, I followed her lead and was fast asleep befo
re my body could react to our relative positions to one another.
Chapter Six
It was late the next morning when a noise wrested me from my dream. This time I was dreaming about Sydney. God, what a dream slut I was. One day I’m having sex dreams about Celeste and the next night it’s Sydney.
At first I thought that Sydney was back from her talk with Hollie, but it didn’t quite sound like her Jeep. The hairs on the back of my neck seemed to stiffen all at once and I got this sixth sense that something terrible was about to descend on us.
I gently nudged Celeste and whispered, “Celeste, wake up. Someone’s here and I don’t think it’s Sydney.”
I didn’t even know why I thought we had uninvited company, I just felt all tingly like something was seriously wrong.
I heard the front door creak open and before I could rouse Celeste, the bedroom door flung open.
Greg was larger than life sneering at us from the doorway. “Well, look at what we have here. The little dyke librarian and her alien lover.”
I noticed the gun in his hands and pulled the covers up even though we were both in shorts and t-shirts. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that we were in deep shit and Greg was definitely not who he purported to be.
I called upon all the bravado I could muster. “What do you want, Greg? You can’t just kidnap her against her will. She doesn’t want to go with you, and unless I’m mistaken, you can’t commit her without cause.”
“I’m sorry, but my orders are to secure her using whatever means necessary. I’m afraid you are going to be collateral damage. I guess Celeste was violent after all. What a tragedy that she shot her friend during a psychotic break.”
“Please do not hurt Bella. I will go with you if you leave her alone,” Celeste pleaded. She scrambled out of bed.
“It’s too late for that.”
Although I am sure that what happened next only took a few seconds, it felt like everything was unfolding in slow motion. Greg raised the gun took aim and I felt a searing pain enter my chest. A dark purple blast of light shot out of Celeste’s hand and knocked him back against the door as I heard the gun clatter to the floor. Sydney came barreling into the room and before I felt an overwhelming heat enter my body, I registered the wide-eyed look on her face.