Louisa captured her mouth as Rayann moaned. Rayann had no strength to move away even if she had desired to do so; she was held fast and secure against Louisa. She could feel Louisa's body molding to hers. Her heart thudded as fingers sought their way under her clothing, lower, down, then between.
"How can you be so wet, so fast," Louisa said. Her voice came from back in her throat, each word a groan.
"I've been like this for weeks... for months," Rayann thought she answered. She couldn't tell if her vocal chords were working. The fingers found her swollen flesh and an oh of pleasure filled her and flowed to Louisa's demanding mouth, searching hers.
Louisa's fingers teased and promised, but didn't quite enter. "Do you like that?"
"Yes. But I can't... not like this... I need to lie down." Her body had strength in only one place, the part that followed Louisa's fingers.
"I've got you." Louisa moaned into Rayann's throat. The arm that gripped Rayann's back tightened. "I have hold of you."
"I'm falling," Rayann said, her voice breaking. "Don't let me fall."
"Never," Louisa answered.
Rayann's hips thrust forward, begging, but the terror that she would fall filled her. "No," she whimpered, even as Louisa's fingers glided inward. Her knees gave way.
The room whirled. There was a wall at her back now. Louisa's body pinned Rayann to it and her fingers met Rayann's frantic arching. In Rayann's mind she was still falling, spiraling toward the hand that held her. Her body flamed like a shooting star, then burst into sparks, burning in release.
"Don't stop," Rayann moaned. She could have stayed where she was forever, but Louisa's fingers were sliding away.
"Darling, I want to do that again, but now I'm the one who needs to lie down."
Rayann nodded. Her limbs felt unbearably heavy. Louisa's arm, still around her, held her up. In the bedroom, Rayann shakily removed her clothes. Louisa swept back the comforter, then pulled Rayann down beside her, under the tapestry of sun and moon.
I've never felt so naked. Louisa's shirt and jeans grazed Rayann's skin as Louisa placed her on the bed, then moved next to her, then on top of her, her mouth finding Rayann's breasts. Rayann hissed as her body filled again with shameless and selfish desire, too heavy to lift her hands — she needed Louisa to touch her again. She didn't know how she could want so much. "Please... your fingers..."
She arched her breasts to Louisa's mouth again and again as Louisa teased with the tips of her fingers — they promised more — and Louisa's tongue caressed and stroked. Rayann clasped Louisa's hand in her own, drawing the elusive fingers into her body, hips meeting them. Louisa's breath, quick and rasping, filled Rayann's ears.
In the darkness, she could see Louisa's face — a mask, austere in concentration. I need her so badly. Rayann shuddered as Louisa's voice came to her, urging her to finish, begging her to come. She needs this... this. Rayann arched one last time, hands clutching Louisa's shoulders.
Louisa held her fast, frozen against her, moaning, "How can you? Dear God, so wet."
She was no longer falling. The bed seemed secure under her as Rayann fought off the last vestige of dizziness. She was still leaden with desire, but her head was clear. She knew what she wanted.
Louisa was on her back, breathing hard, eyes closed. They snapped open when Rayann's hand touched her.
"So beautiful," Rayann murmured, tracing the outline of Louisa's nipples though her shirt. She shook off her lethargy and lowered her mouth to the nearest peak.
Louisa lay quiescent for a moment, a soft sigh escaping her, then she rolled away, evading Rayann's hands which followed her. "You don't have to do that," she said.
Rayann, her responses slowed by the passion that drained her, said, "Don't you want me?"
"I thought I'd just proven the answer to that." Louisa's glance at Rayann's wet thighs made them open slightly.
Rayann wanted to protest as Louisa bent to her body again, kissing her thighs, tongue gliding over the wetness, then toward the source. Louisa's shirt scraped against her thighs, reminding her again how naked she was. Falling again, I can't stop falling. Her hair... her hair... Rayann filled her hands with it, held it against her stomach as Louisa's mouth captured all of her. She opened herself to take all Louisa offered, to show Louisa how much she needed — and how much she could give.
The last shudder had passed before Rayann was aware that Louisa had rolled away. Rayann slid after her, spooning to Louisa's back. She was surprised to find the back of Louisa's shirt damp. "God, you're incredible," Rayann murmured, her arm snaking around Louisa's waist. Only then did she feel Louisa's body shaking. "What's wrong, darling, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Louisa's voice was muffled by her arms.
"Tell me," Rayann said. "I need to know what you're feeling."
Louisa was silent and the shaking had eased before she raised her head. "I don't know why you're being so... good. To me."
"Good," Rayann echoed. "I haven't done anything yet." She lifted Louisa's hair and kissed her neck. "Let me make you feel the way you've made me feel."
"Why?" Louisa turned over onto her back. "Why do you want to?"
"Because I love you. Because I want you."
"Ray, you don't have to."
"You don't... want me to?"
"You don't have to. I'm so much old—"
Rayann's mouth stopped Louisa, stifling the words that would separate them again. She kissed Louisa gently, then more fiercely as Louisa finally responded to her. She raised her head, gasping. "What does that matter when I love you, when I want to fill my hand with your beautiful softness." Her fingers stroked Louisa's breasts. "What does that matter when I want to learn every inch of your body over and over again. I want to feel your skin against mine. What do I have to do to make you believe that?"
"It's hard, so hard to believe. But I want to believe you, I do."
"Ill do whatever it takes to make you sure," Rayann murmured. She unbuttoned Louisa's shirt slowly. When her hand slipped inside, cupping the wonderful abundance of Louisa's breasts through her bra, she was rewarded by Louisa's deep sigh. She felt some of the tension drain out of Louisa's body. She realized then that she did not know what Louisa wanted or needed, or if she could possibly fill that need. "Tell me what to do," she said. "You frighten me a little."
Louisa held Rayann's hands against her breasts. "I frighten you? You can't imagine... I've been telling myself I couldn't possibly know what a woman your age wants."
"Sshhh. It's not important."
"Oh, but it is." Louisa swallowed and let go of Rayann's hands, moving her shoulders back slightly in a gesture of offering.
Rayann slid her hands around, unhooked and then freed the wondrous softness. With a groan she lowered her mouth to them.
Louisa groaned in answer. "How can you want me so? After Zoraida..."
Rayann didn't want to stop, but knew she had to answer. She replaced the attention of her mouth with her hands, delighting in the texture and grain of Louisa's skin. "I can't compare her to you. I was shockingly and wantonly casual with her. I won't lie and say it wasn't good, but it was not... oh, not like this." Rayann sighed and helplessly brought her mouth to Louisa's breast again, capturing one hardened nipple between her teeth, then gently caressing it with her tongue. "She knew I was in love with you, that I longed to be with you again. I've never felt with anyone the way you make me feel." Rayann's voice grew intense as one hand went to Louisa's thighs, slipping between. "I've never wanted anyone like this."
Louisa's thighs closed on her hand. "Ray, I... there's only one way I've ever..."
"Show me," Rayann said. "Teach me."
Louisa shed her clothes. Rayann bit her lower lip as she gazed on what she had wanted for so long to see again. Louisa shook her hair down, then returned to Rayann, pressing her onto her back.
"Like this, like before," she said in a low, intense voice. She lowered herself astride Rayann's thigh, moving languorously while a low moan rippled through
her throat.
"God, you're beautiful," Rayann said. She slowly brought her fingers to her thigh, slipping them gently between her skin and the throb of Louisa's passion.
Louisa's hands were at her shoulders, pulling her up. "Hold me," she said. She rested against the arm Rayann slipped around her waist. Her hips moved faster. "Too good."
Rayann held her, praying she could be enough. She brought her mouth to Louisa's breast. Louisa's hand came to the back of her head, holding her there.
"Dear God, Rayann."
Rayann responded to each nuance of Louisa's groans, her tongue and lips giving up Louisa's breasts when Louisa clasped her tightly, held her frozen except for rapid jerks of her hips which ended with one final gasp, one final thrust, one final grip of Rayann's fingers inside the trembling flesh.
"Hold me," Louisa murmured, sinking slowly to the sheets, pulling Rayann with her.
10
Touch Wood
When Rayann opened her eyes the next morning, she knew she wasn't alone. She wrapped herself in the scent and sound of Louisa next to her. She surfaced out of the covers to find Louisa watching her.
"You're pretty adorable with your hair all messed up like that," Louisa said.
"Well, I'm glad you like it. This is what I look like in the morning."
"I can live with it."
Rayann rolled over on her back. The moon seemed to be winking at her. "Tell me about the tapestry. I've been dying to ask."
"Chris and I found this bed at an estate sale. We were supposed to be buying books. The tapestry came with the bed and we had the feeling the family was only too eager to see the last of it. They were Mormons, and judging from the pattern, the dearly departed was not."
"It's beautiful."
"I'm glad you like the view." Louisa stretched and sat up.
"I'm quite attached," Rayann said. She was not looking at the tapestry.
"Flatterer. It's time to get up, you know."
"I know. Can I change your mind or will you insist on the mundane tasks of the day?" Rayann let her gaze caress Louisa. They had a lot to talk about, a lot to discover, but right now it felt good to just... feel good.
"’There's nothing so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task' — William James," Louisa quoted.
"Make love, not work," Rayann said.
Louisa gave her a sidelong look. "Who said that?"
"I did. Just now." Louisa laughed and got out of bed. Rayann sighed and followed her. "Can I at least take my shower with you instead of waiting?"
Louisa looked over her shoulder. "I guess so. But no funny business." Rayann gave Louisa her most innocent look, but she knew Louisa was not fooled.
Rayann stood under the hot water, letting it wake her up. It seemed almost uncivilized to leap from a warm, cozy bed into water. It must have been the feline instinct in her that hated it. She gave up the hot water when Louisa complained of cold and shampooed her hair while Louisa rinsed. She relaxed more and more in the steam, until Louisa started washing her back. Despite the heat, her body goose-pimpled in response and she shivered.
"I thought you said no funny business."
"I'm just washing your back," Louisa said. Her voice sounded sultry to Rayann, but maybe it was just the steam.
"I'm going to get soap in my eyes."
"Spoilsport," Louisa said. Rayann rinsed her hair and then turned.
"Oh yeah?" Her fingers slid between Louisa's thighs and curled in the thick hair. She wanted desperately to touch Louisa again, to satisfy her. She wanted to taste and adore but Louisa had not indicated that she wanted Rayann's mouth on her. She heard Louisa take a deep breath, then exhale slowly.
"Okay, okay," she said weakly. "I'm going to fall down if you don't let go of me. As erotic as it may sound, the shower is no place to make love."
"I know," Rayann said, releasing her. "I've tried it. Got water up my nose."
Louisa gave a shout of laughter as she stepped out of the shower to dry off. "I know exactly what you mean."
"It really interfered with the mood."
Rayann gathered her clothes of the night before and returned to her bedroom. They met again as they both emerged from their respective rooms, dressed and ready for breakfast. Rayann took in the near-white blue chambray shirt and the swell of the body that had been next to her the night before.
"What are we doing?" Louisa stared at Rayann.
"Pretending last night didn't happen," Rayann said.
"Every inch of me knows it did happen," Louisa said. She put her hand on her stomach as if she were in pain. She moved toward Rayann.
"Same here," Rayann said. Louisa began unbuttoning Rayann's shirt. "I just put that on." Louisa unzipped Rayann's jeans. "It was a waste of time getting dressed."
They spent the day like adolescents in love. Every time Rayann turned around Louisa was close by, watching, smiling a secret smile. Rayann found she couldn't make the simplest decision without consulting Louisa, standing close, breathing in the same air. The customers and ringing phone seemed nuisances. When it was quiet enough to grab a bite to eat they gobbled their food and then necked in the stairwell until a customer came in. Rayann longed for night.
Louisa answered yet another call, but after the usual pleasantries she said, "The Count Basie Orchestra? I'd love to." Her gaze searched out Rayann who stood across the room. "Well, I don't know — it's not her type of music, but I think she's free. Would you like to talk to her?"
Rayann took the phone and said hello to her mother.
"You don't have to come if you don't want to, dear, no pressure, but there's a wonderful concert tomorrow night that I just found out about. I thought of Louisa immediately because I haven't met anyone in a long time who loves swing the way I do. You're welcome to come — it'll be fun."
Rayann was unsettled by the entire proceedings, but heard herself agreeing to go to the concert. She hung up the phone slowly. Her mother still had a great deal more in common with Louisa than she did herself.
"Sounds fun, doesn't it?" Louisa spoke over her shoulder as she rang up a purchase.
"Sure. You can teach me all about swing."
"Be glad to," Louisa said. She waved goodbye to the customer. "Danny hates swing. She's a blues baby from way back."
"I like the blues, too," Rayann said. "Stevie Ray Vaughn, Robert Cray."
Louisa stared at her blankly. "I was thinking more in the lines of John Lee Hooker and Muddy Waters."
It was Rayann's turn to stare blankly, a frightening sensation seizing her stomach. She swallowed, then smiled as provocatively as she could manage. "Looks like I have a lot to learn, but you're a good teacher."
"I might learn a thing or two myself," Louisa said, her lips pressing together in a delectable smirk.
"Stop that," Rayann whispered. "Do you want to be compromised right in front of the cash register?"
Louisa laughed, but suddenly her face froze — the laugh died. Rayann didn't have to turn to know Teddy had just come into the store.
"Oh, my God," Louisa said. "Ray, give me just this once, just this once. I never thought you'd... I hadn't thought this far ahead."
Rayann swallowed her protest. No conditions on love, as Danny would say. So she smiled and joked and made small talk, every word choking her. As soon as she could, she took Tucker upstairs for cookies and milk. She didn't have to pretend with Tucker. When Louisa and Teddy joined them Rayann went downstairs, taking as long as she could to close up and run out the day's receipts.
She went upstairs again when she could no longer avoid it and agreed to play cards with Tucker. That's right I'll just sit over here with the children. She was aware that Louisa and Teddy were both watching them as they talked. Her concentration was so bad she wasn't surprised when she lost three hands of gin in a row. She got up from the floor and manufactured yawns and stretches, then made the necessary excuses and escaped to her bedroom.
Teddy and Tucker left a short time later, while Rayann was still
fully dressed, sitting on the edge of her bed. Though her mind had never stopped turning, she had come to no conclusions. She didn't know if she could live like this. She heard the door close and the creak of the floor as Louisa came back from the back porch.
Come to me. Please Louisa, come to me now.
There was a soft knock on the door, and Louisa looked in. "You're a pretty good actress, all in all, but I didn't think you were sleepy."
"I'm not." Rayann stood up and moved to Louisa's side. "And I didn't particularly want to sleep in here, either."
"I don't want you to," Louisa said slowly. She closed her eyes, her face tightening. "Ray, can we not talk about it. Not yet. Can we just go to bed?"
"Yes." For now it was enough.
After last night Rayann wasn’t sure she would or could reach the same levels of desire as she had before, but her body responded — swelling and opening as Louisa undressed her. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons of Louisa's shirt, but finally her hands were smoothing the bare skin of Louisa's stomach. She stroked the soft plane of Louisa's back. Bare skin to bare skin, they rolled over and over on the bed. Rayann found herself beneath Louisa. Louisa held her down, and kissed her thoroughly.
"Wait," Rayann said, when she was able. "I wanted to…"
"You're intoxicating," Louisa said. She parted the satin folds between Rayann's legs.
"So are you..." Rayann knew she said more, but she didn't know what. Her mind was absorbed with the smoothness of Louisa's body against her as Louisa swirled within her. Her hands traced the curves of Louisa's sides and back. Louisa rolled atop Rayann and feasted on her lips, her mouth and then her breasts.
"Touch me," Rayann urged her. "I want…"
Teddy faded into the background as Rayann lived another day on the edge of her emotions, showing Louisa every thought, every desire, welcoming every smile, every innocent glance that hid smoldering looks. Louisa touched her a thousand times that day, as if making up for lost time.
As they dressed for the concert Rayann chose a thin turtleneck sweater, slipping the phoenix necklace over it. She slung her black silk pants over one arm, then went into Louisa's bedroom where Louisa was shrugging into Rayann's favorite high-collared blouse. Rayann held her black pants up to her waist. "How will this look?"
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