She shut the door to Camille’s room behind her and faced the trio in the hallway. She’d heard Belinda and Marsha talking with Dru and Brad and Oliver as the women left. Dru was at Brad’s side, both of them leaning against the wall across from Camille’s door. Oliver stood slightly separate, on his own. He stepped toward Selena, then stopped in the middle of the hallway, his hands digging into his jeans pockets, his gaze intense but uncertain. Waiting. But for what?
“Camille wants to see her grandpa, as soon as Joe’s up to visitors,” Selena told him. “I’m sorry I’ve put this off. For Marsha and Joe, and for all of you. I let myself worry about . . .” Belonging, leaving, never wanting to leave again. “I shouldn’t have let anything get in the way of my daughter knowing your family.”
She shifted her attention to Brad.
“I behaved selfishly. Seven years ago. The last two months. I wouldn’t blame you for never forgiving me. I really am sorry, for all of it.” She looked to Dru. “How much I hurt you, especially when Oliver left and then Brad. When I think of what you and Brad might have had for all these years if it wasn’t for me . . .”
No one said anything, and Selena was grateful. This was her moment—the one she knew she finally had to deal with, or she’d always be looking back.
“Brad . . .” She shook her head at him. “I don’t know what to say. Except that I never meant to use you. I was just so scared back then. But there’s one thing I’m not sorry for.”
She sensed Oliver hanging on every word.
“I’m not sorry that my daughter is the result of my mistakes,” she said to him, to all of them. “I’ve been grateful every day that I’ve had Camille with me. I didn’t deserve such an unexpected blessing. Just know that from the start, I was trying to do my best for my daughter. I still am.”
“Of course you are.” Dru inched closer. “We’re all grateful to you for bringing her home.”
Selena wished it could be that simple. “That’s nice. But after I slept with Brad, you—”
“I was pissed for a while, sure.”
“A while?” Brad joined his fiancée.
“Okay.” Dru elbowed him in the ribs. “For a few years. But”—she smiled at Selena—“I have a niece to play with now. Or a stepdaughter. And Brad and I are getting married. And you and Oliver are . . .”
Selena and Oliver were what?
She had no idea. And Oliver was just standing there, close but still distant somehow.
“Oliver and I want what’s best for Camille,” she said.
“We all do,” Brad agreed.
“No matter what . . .” Selena had sat listening to her daughter’s chatter about the Dixons and her new grandparents and family and all the things she wanted to do with them. And Selena had known she’d made the right choice, asking Marsha to join her in Camille’s room. “I want my daughter to have the life she always should have with your family.”
“Does that mean you’re staying in town?” Dru asked.
It would be so easy to say yes, spur of the moment, and figure out the details later. But Selena looked to Oliver instead. Their crazy roller coaster of a day seemed to be swirling through his mind as much as it was hers.
I don’t want this.
It’s done.
This is it for us. This is our chance.
Except by Oliver’s own admission, he was no good at long-term things. Meanwhile she needed his love every day, every up and down, every moment. Facing it all together, like Oliver’s parents had, because there was no other way for them to live.
“I don’t yet know if Camille and I are staying,” she admitted. And she saw him wince. “There’s so much else to deal with first.”
“We heard about this morning in the ER.” Brad’s features hardened with anger. “That husband of yours sounds like a real bastard.”
“And I’ve let him affect me and my daughter’s life for too long,” Selena said. “I should have gotten out of my marriage years ago, when . . .”
“When what?” Oliver asked.
“When Parker started pushing to formally adopt Camille, and I knew I couldn’t let that happen.”
“Because he was cheating on you?” Oliver asked, prompting more outrage from Brad. Dru looked as if she might cry.
“That,” Selena said, “and the judge would have required that we notify her birth father. And I just couldn’t . . . I wasn’t ready. I’ve been a coward all the way around. It’s taken me too long to realize what my secret was depriving my daughter and your family from having.”
“And you.” Dru stepped closer. “We’re here for you, too, Selena. Not just your daughter.” Her expression grew fierce. “And we’re not going to let this Parker asshat bully you into going back to him. Tell her, Oliver. Brad?” Both men inhaled to answer. Not that Dru seemed to notice. “Okay, I’ll tell her. No one in our family’s going to let Camille or you go back to New York, to that man, if that’s not where you want to be. Screw what he has in the bank and how many lawyers are on his payroll. Let him get a look at us. He won’t know what’s hit him. I have half a mind to fly to New York myself and introduce him to some Southern-fried justice.”
Selena had watched Dru’s ascension from righteous indignation to avenging angel with fascination and growing amusement. A small laugh trickled out. Followed by a burst of giggling. And then they were all chuckling.
“I’m sorry.” She wiped at her eyes, the tears from laughter, yes. But also in gratitude for being included in such an easy, belonging moment. “I appreciate the venom on my behalf. But Parker isn’t worth getting yourself worked up over. I’m done letting him play me that way.”
Oliver nodded his approval, finally smiling. She resisted the compulsion to beg him to wake up beside her every morning and smile just like he was now.
Dru shrugged and accepted Brad’s kiss.
“I’ve been a little emotional lately,” she explained.
“If there is a God”—Brad kissed her again—“it will settle down once you’re in your second trimester.”
“You’re . . .” Oliver spun his sister toward him. He pulled her into his arms. “You’re pregnant? Really?”
The joy and excitement on his face pierced Selena’s heart with the thought of what Oliver’s finding out about Camille a different way, a lifetime ago, might have been like.
Dru disengaged herself and sank back against her fiancé. “No more spinning me around for a while, okay? Not unless you want me to pull a Teddy and hurl all over you.”
“And I assure you”—Brad grinned, excited, but a little appalled—“that’s a distinct possibility. We have to pull over most of the time just driving around town, so she can puke at the curb in front of some unsuspecting stranger’s house. Motion isn’t your friend, evidently, when you’re—”
“Gestating someone else’s progeny?” Dru jabbed him with another elbow.
Then she wrapped him in the sweetest hug. Brad buried his face in her hair and inhaled as if he were holding a miracle. The tender scene had Oliver smiling at Selena again, making the moment more beautiful because they were sharing it.
“Lemon drops,” she finally said to his sister.
Dru looked up. “Lemon drops?”
“They’ll settle your stomach. And broth, when you think nothing else will stay down. I was sick for nine months with Camille, and . . .”
Selena trailed off, feeling the weight of it fresh and new.
“You’ll never get those years back,” she said to Brad and Oliver, appalled.
“No.” Oliver’s strength encircled her, his warmth countering the crazy emotions that refused to settle unless he was near. “But we’ll have every new day with Camille you’ll let us share. A clean slate. A fresh start. That’s all anyone wants.”
A clean slate.
It was time to begin again and focus on what came next.
She was standing with Oliver and Brad and Dru, dealing with their problems but joking and cheering about happy news, too. Belinda an
d Marsha had been with Selena earlier, not judging or blaming her, but helping her explain things to Camille. And Belinda had opened up to Selena last night and over the last few days and months, her support solid in a way Selena hadn’t imagined possible.
She had no business being scared of any of these people. This could be her and Camille’s life, if Selena let it, whatever happened between her and Oliver. And if this was what her mother had meant when Belinda had said for Selena to figure out what she wanted and go for it, whatever the risks, then she finally understood. Her dream come true wasn’t the start-over life she and Camille could forge for themselves somewhere else. It was the second-chance family that had been waiting for them in Chandlerville all this time.
She slipped away from Oliver, needing to know that she could say what she had to, do what she had to, even if he wasn’t yet ready to take the ride with her.
“We all need a clean start,” she said. “We need to move forward without the past hanging over us.”
“What are you saying?” Oliver asked.
Selena wasn’t exactly sure. But she was smiling up at him, she realized. She was imagining Camille curled up with Joe on his hospital bed, her grandfather reading her a story. And she could see herself and Oliver there, if that’s what he wanted, too—standing together, surrounded by family, the beautiful moment even more special because they were sharing it.
“If everyone has some time now . . .” She inhaled, her pulse raging. “I’d like to head down to the clinic,” she said, “and see if they’re open, so we can start Camille’s paternity test tonight.”
“How’s my granddaughter?” Joe wanted to know the next morning, when Oliver slipped into his father’s step-down room on the cardiac floor.
Both of his parents were there.
Two surgeries in a week had taken their toll on Joe. Oliver’s dad managed to look both gaunt and swollen. The dark circles under his eyes took up half his face. There was very little of him that wasn’t attached to something that was beeping or whirring or taking a reading that one of the nurses could monitor from the desk down the hall—even if Joe’s room now had a solid door and walls that weren’t windows.
Marsha sat in a chair beside the bed.
“Dru stopped in to see Camille before heading to the house to spell me,” Oliver told them. “The doctors are discharging Camille in a little while. Thanks for coming down last night, Mom, and talking with her.”
He walked to Marsha, bent and kissed her on the cheek.
She smiled. “You should have come inside yesterday and talked with her yourself.”
“Or at least done some stopping in of your own this morning,” Joe added, “on your way here. Sounds like Selena’s warming up to the idea of her girl being part of the family. And we owe a lot of that to you and her mending fences.”
Oliver grunted.
“Talking with me upset Camille pretty badly yesterday morning.” He laid a hand on Joe’s arm, just above the port where whatever was in his dad’s IV bag was being shot into his veins. “It’s confusing enough to explain to a little girl that she has a father she didn’t know about, when you can’t actually tell her who that father is yet.”
“She was doing much better by the time I left yesterday afternoon,” Marsha said.
Oliver shook his head. “Having one of her might-be dads pop in to say hi might set things off again. Especially when I’m on my way out of town.”
“You’re leaving?” Joe and Marsha responded in unison. They exchanged concerned glances.
“After Selena and Dru and Brad and I went down to the clinic to have blood drawn,” Oliver said, “Selena’s been locked into watching over Camille. I’ve been with the kids at the house. Everyone’s retreated to their neutral corners to deal with what they have to. It seems like a good time to—”
Travis stepped in from the hallway and shut the door behind him. “How’s it hangin’, Dad? You ready to blow this joint yet?”
“Your father’s still not to get too excited.” Marsha eyed Oliver. “So take it easy with the surprises.”
“I’m ready to go dancin’ as soon as your mother’s gotten some rest.” Joe held Oliver’s gaze. “I was thinking we could double-date in a few weeks. Take our ladies out for a night on the town.”
Oliver would love nothing better. “I need to take care of a few things in Atlanta first. But when I get back, I’m game when you are.”
“So you are coming back?” his mother asked.
“That’s the plan.” Oliver finally had a plan he could fight for—after standing with Selena in the pediatric hallway yesterday, watching her battle for a new future for herself and her child. A future he would do anything to be a part of.
“I talked with Chris at the department,” Travis said. “I’m cleared for short-term family leave.” He slapped Oliver on the back. “I’ve got things with Teddy while Oliver’s gone. If Ms. Walker stops back by, she’ll have nada to complain about in her next report. We got along fine yesterday, once Oliver left me to smooth things over. It’s all good, right, bro?”
Oliver nodded. He and Travis had texted back and forth, after Oliver had been up most of the night again—thinking about Dru expecting her first baby, and Bethany acting like she wanted to rejoin the family. Joe’s long recovery, and the strain it would continue to be for Marsha. Fin and Lisa and Teddy and the other foster kids Oliver was only starting to get to know. And then there was Selena and Camille.
Selena might be wary of what happened next. Hell, so was he. But she was opening her heart to love again. She might have slipped away from the clinic last night without saying good-bye. But before that, Oliver had held her in his arms, and he’d felt how much she’d needed him there. And when she’d committed to discovering who Camille’s father was, he’d seen dreams in her eyes instead of fear.
This was his chance, their chance, and he wasn’t wasting it.
“I know I promised to stay and help while you got better, Dad.” Oliver didn’t like the timing of this for his parents. “But—”
Joe stopped him with a raised hand. “There are a few things you might need help with, too?”
Oliver knelt down beside the bed, eye to eye with his dad. His mom’s touch settled on his shoulder. Travis was a supportive presence beside them.
“I’ve needed help for a while,” Oliver admitted. “I’ve been pushing too hard at work. At least I was until a couple of years ago when I landed myself in some trouble again. I’ve cut back on the deadlines and the stress. A little. Not nearly enough. Not if I want to have any kind of life except my job. Not even enough to sleep, really. And not enough to come home. I thought coming home would ruin everything. So I made sure I couldn’t. All I am anymore is balls-to-the-wall getting things done for clients.”
He winced, realizing what he’d said in front of his mother. Marsha flashed him another of her unconditional-love smiles.
“Except now,” he said, “I’m thinking that . . .”
His dad’s hand found Oliver’s at the edge of the bed. “That being with your family and the woman you love and her child because you need to would be more of a—”
“Life?” Oliver and Travis finished at the same time.
Oliver met his brother’s gaze. He propped his chin on the arm he’d braced on the side of the bed. His heart felt like it might burst as he studied the parents who’d given him all the time and support he’d needed to find his way home.
“All this time . . . I figured if I worked hard enough and sent home money, I wouldn’t let anyone down again.”
“You’ve never let us down,” his mother said.
“All we’ve ever wanted,” his dad insisted, “is for you to be happy and to share as much of your life with us as you can.”
“That’s what I want now, too, Dad.”
“So you decided to leave town?”
“It’s a long story.” It was Oliver’s story, finally circling back to where it had begun.
He’d gotten to the
heart of it in the early-morning hours, pacing the floor with a teething Teddy and staring out Joe and Belinda’s windows at the flowering hedge between his parents’ property and Belinda’s. Yes, he was leaving Chandlerville again. This time, so he could make his way home for good.
“I need to close the most important business deal of my life,” he told his parents.
Marsha looked dubious. “Business?”
“The kind that will allow me to keep doing what I am for you and the family, and to be with Selena and Camille, too. If they’ll have me.”
“Hell, boy.” Travis thumped Oliver on the back again. “Of course they’ll have you. When was the last time you set your mind to anything and didn’t manage to get it done?”
Selena pulled into Belinda’s driveway just before lunch and parked behind her mother’s car. Belinda had headed home from the hospital before them, to make fresh soup.
Selena carried Camille with her as she walked hesitantly next door, through the opening in the front hedge. She stepped to Oliver’s side. He’d just placed his duffel bag into the cab of his truck.
Camille gave him a weak wave, her head drooping back to Selena’s shoulder, her limp body a sweet, welcome weight in Selena’s arms. Her daughter was exhausted—she’d slept in Fred’s backseat the whole way home. But Selena knew she’d never have heard the end of it later, once Camille felt better, if Selena had taken her inside first instead of bringing her along.
Oliver had texted just as they’d pulled away from the hospital. And he’d silently watched them approach just now, his expression open, his beautiful eyes soft with what looked like the same jumble of love and confusion and need Selena was feeling. When he opened his arms, she rushed into them, into Oliver, inhaling the just-showered smell of him and curling herself and her daughter as close as they could get.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” she said, “now that we’ve finally . . .”
“No finally.” Oliver smiled down at them. “That’s why I texted, to be sure we got to talk before I left.”
I can’t go without holding you again, his message had read. Both of you.
Let Me Love You Again (An Echoes of the Heart Novel Book 2) Page 25