All through college she kept to her studies and never really dated. She didn’t go to parties or have much of a social life at all. Somehow she always wrote off her antisocial behavior as just being focused on her future and trying to make her brother proud. Not to mention she was grateful for the second chance she had at life. Nearly killing herself at eighteen in a drunk-driving accident had been a definite wake-up call. Despite all those reasons though, she couldn’t help but wonder if unconsciously she kept herself at a distance from all men because of Cole.
She had tried several times to convince herself that she didn’t have feelings for the man who had been like a second big brother to her for more than half her life. It was a useless argument. If her body’s reaction to him wasn’t enough to convince her of the truth, there was the fact that other than her father, he was the only man with whom she had any sort of relationship.
The feelings she had for her brother’s best friend, who was now her boss, were foolish. She knew this. Or at least she made a point to tell herself that every morning as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Yet, though she waited for that one mystery man to come in and knock her off balance the way Cole did, he never appeared. He seemed to be the only one she thought of in that way.
Because of all those things, she worked hard to place a wall between them. With arrogance, defiance, and downright bratty behavior, she stopped at nothing to drive him crazy in hopes he wouldn’t want anything to do with her. Being near him was too hard for her. There were too many times he was so close that she screamed inside her mind, Kiss me!
He never did though. Never did he show her more than the affection of an older brother. She would sometimes lie awake at night and wonder if he only bothered with her because it was Dex’s dying wish.
Oh, how she wished her brother was still there. She missed him so much. Dexter Allbright was more than a Marine, more than a son or a brother. He was the greatest man she’d ever known, and the best friend she could have ever asked for. Despite their ten-year age difference he never treated her like most older siblings did. Growing up, she’d watched some of her friends fight bitterly with their brothers and sisters, and she knew how lucky she was.
Dex had been adopted as a baby. Their parents had tried for years to have children, but it just never happened. They doted on him and gave him all the love a parent should give a child. Financially well off, they spoiled him quite a bit as well. When her mother became pregnant with her, they were overjoyed and looked to their son to be a role model for their blessing.
He was more than just a positive figure in her life. From the time she was a baby, he was there to hold her, help her with her bottle. She could even remember seeing pictures of him changing her diaper. She might have been looked at as a blessing, but Dex was the real gift.
She took a deep breath and tried to ignore the tears that wanted to well up at the memory of her big brother. What she wouldn’t give for just one more day with him. One hug, one kiss, one last chance to say she loved him.
Pushing her memories aside, she tried to focus her energy on work. There wasn’t much going on. She didn’t have any paperwork to catch up on. The phones weren’t ringing, and everyone else around her seemed caught up in their own tasks. Reaching for her coffee mug which obnoxiously displayed the word ‘Rookie’—a gift from her parents—she got up and headed toward the break room.
Luckily Cole wasn’t in his office as she passed. She tried to see him as little as possible. The idea that she was on desk duty was going to make that even harder. That was one of the best things about being out on patrol. She was busy and had other things to focus on besides him. Hopefully if she played nice, like the obedient little rookie, she thought maybe he would give her a break and send her back out on patrol tomorrow. She wasn’t sure what was making him so agitated lately, but it seemed as though the littlest of things seemed to set him off.
Walking into the break room, she bumped into Cole, who was walking out. His cup of coffee spilled and scalded both of them.
“Mother fucker!” he cursed.
The hot liquid soaked through her uniform and down to her bra. She cringed and bit her lip against the instant burning pain.
Setting down his cup, he shook coffee off his hand and then turned back to her. “Are you okay? Damn it. I’m sorry. I was lost in thought and didn’t even see you coming.”
Grabbing a couple of napkins, he started to rub the coffee from her shirt. Instantly she panicked and froze as she tried to ignore the close proximity of his hand to her breast. At first she attempted to shoo him away and take the napkins from his hand, but he persisted, apologizing all the while. She looked up and away from him, trying to recall graphic traffic accident pictures she had seen while at the academy. Anything to get her mind derailed from the realization that his fingers were within inches of her nipples, which were hardening under the tease of his touch. Silently she prayed her wet uniform didn’t betray her and reveal that secret.
Frustrated, she snapped at him. “Damn it, Cole. I’ve got it.”
She grabbed the napkins and set her mug down on the counter before leaving the break room. Pushing open the locker-room door with as much force as she could exert, she bit back the scream that was fighting to break free.
This was maddening. It was one thing to have to see him every day, but she couldn’t stay here in the station all day with him. She needed to be out on patrol and as far away from him as possible. Getting hired on in his department had been a mistake of gargantuan proportions.
As she opened her locker and surveyed the reddened skin from where the coffee scalded her, she had an epiphany. It was one she didn’t like, and it pained her to even consider it. Her growing frustrations proved that there were no other options. She couldn’t continue to work alongside a man she desired like she did when he saw her as nothing more than a kid sister whom he had to constantly look after like she was some sort of obligation.
The only way she was going to be able to get over her feelings for him and still live out her dream of being a cop was to be as far away from him as possible. She was going to have to put in for a transfer to one of the neighboring cities. She was a young rookie. There was no telling what sort of red tape was involved in something like that, but she had to try. She couldn’t live like this anymore. The moment she realized she had been shot yesterday, her first thought had been of him. Oh hell, who was she kidding? Her first thought was always of him. The circumstances didn’t matter. He was never far from her mind.
Tears welled in her eyes. She hated feeling so weak to the effects he had on her. She detested that he could frazzle her to the point where she couldn’t function and had thoughts that had no business going through her mind. She felt nothing for anyone else who came near her. With Cole, an innocent touch, a gentle brush of his hand against hers, sometimes even a simple look of his smoldering dark eyes caused a longing for him.
She yanked on a clean uniform shirt and buttoned herself up, trying to regain her composure before she had to go back out into the bull pen. Standing before the mirror, she looked back at her image and wondered what it was about her that he didn’t see her as a woman. Maybe it was the age difference or his friendship with Dex that refused to allow him to see past the little girl he once knew.
Letting out a sigh because she knew the reason didn’t matter, she smoothed down her uniform and resolved herself to the knowledge that this was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever do. Still, it needed to be done. She needed to get past this. She needed to get over him. Besides her unwelcome feelings, she still loved him. He was like family, and her parents looked at him like another son. She couldn’t screw everyone’s relationship up all because she was too wrapped around emotions she shouldn’t even have.
She pushed the door to the locker room open and walked back to her desk. A few feet away she stopped when she saw her cup sitting there, filled to the brim with steaming coffee. A note sat next to it. She glanced over at Cole’s
office and saw his head down, engrossed in whatever he was reading. Sitting down, she picked up the slip of paper and read it.
Sorry I’m such a klutz, kiddo. Got a lot on my mind. Someone special to me was shot yesterday. Here’s a cup of joe on me, as a peace offering. Two Splendas, right? ~ Cole
She closed her eyes and fought the sadness. Kiddo. God, she hated it when he called her that. It was fun and cute when she was twelve, but she was twenty-three now. Didn’t she rate a little bit more than a kiddo?
This was the final straw. Her feelings for him were too strong, too intense for her to simply push aside. She had to get away, gain focus and perspective. If she didn’t, she could ruin their wonderful relationship. Things would be okay, she assured herself. She just needed to put distance between them, and eventually she would snap out of it.
With resolve, she went to the administrative section of their police department’s website. She scanned through numerous links regarding personnel issues until finally she found the one she was looking for. Then she clicked on the option for requesting an inter-county transfer. Briefly she read the requirements to determine eligibility.
From everything she read, it seemed there was no reason she wouldn’t be approved for one as long as the neighboring cities had openings. She would have to start on the bottom of the totem pole, but she was a rookie here and had less than a year with her shield. Being the new gal was all she knew.
She spent the next half an hour filling out all the boxes in the form, answering the questions and giving an explanation for her request which was a complete and blatant lie. Deciding that despite what her mother told her about deception, this time it was warranted. She figured she would go to confessional in the near future and atone for her sin. A sneaking suspicion told her it wouldn’t be the best career move to type in the truth and say that she couldn’t stop fantasizing about her chief, and if she didn’t get transferred she was afraid of what she may do to him.
Once the entire process was complete, she submitted it and got a pop-up asking her to confirm her request. The four sentence message stared back at her like her conscience pointing its finger at her in disapproval.
You have successfully completed your application for inter-county transfer. Do you wish to proceed? If so, please select “yes” and submit the request. If no, please select “cancel” and then close the screen.
She counted, like she was getting ready to pull the pin on a grenade.
One. Two. Three.
She selected the yes option and expelled a breath of relief that it was done. Her request for transfer was put in, and it surprised her that she’d had the courage to go through with it. According to what she read, the process could work fairly quickly depending upon availability. She prayed that was true.
Nausea threatened at the thought of what she’d done. Unable to drink the hot liquid which reminded her of the man who’d given it to her more than the caffeine jolt it held, she pushed it aside. She stared at the phone and willed it to ring, anything to help her get through this day since tomorrow started her three-day-off rotation. Just seven more hours to go and she would have three days away from Cole. Three days to try to get her head on straight and these thoughts of him out of her mind.
At least tomorrow she would be busy. Being that it was her day off, she had promised her old English teacher, Mrs. Patrakas, that she would stop by and do a fifteen-minute speech about law enforcement for career week. She wasn’t serving in an official capacity since it was a favor and nothing set up with the department, but she would still wear her uniform, sans the gun.
In addition to the stricter laws they had on gun control, she knew that guns and high school were never a good idea. The last thing she needed was some gung-ho kid taking a look at her sidearm and deciding he was so cool he had to get himself one of those. Lord knew their raise in gang activity wasn’t better. She didn’t need to encourage some middle-school-aged, pimply kid to break any laws when there was enough temptation to do that already. Besides, department policy was to never carry your weapon unless you were on duty.
The small favor wouldn’t take up a lot of her day, but she hoped it would distract her and keep her mind off of Cole for at least a while. At this point she was willing to try anything to have him as far away from her thoughts as possible.
Chapter 3
Cole threw his pen down and leaned back on his chair, propping his feet up on his desk. He rubbed his tired eyes and glanced at his watch. Unbelievably, it was already half past nine. He was only thirty-five, but already felt like he was getting too old for this shit. He’d arrived at the station at seven o’clock that morning. Even with all the extra hours he was putting in, he could easily work thought he night and not get everything done.
The spike in crime by these wannabe gangbangers was killing him and his officers. If things continued at this rate, he would have to go to the mayor and ask for additional funds to bring more officers on board. They were running thin on man power with the increase in vandalism and robberies. Most of the robberies were penny-ante shit, but they still had a duty to respond to every call and take a report. Even if that report would end up collecting dust because there were no witnesses and most of the things taken were miniscule. Small amounts of cash here or there, a stereo out of a car or purse from a shopping cart.
The trouble seemed to be that most of the citizens didn’t understand why their forty dollars being stolen from their purse didn’t warrant more man power. He couldn’t blame them. This used to be a fairly low-crime community. They just weren’t used to the recent surge of activity.
The most disconcerting fact was that a majority of the parents didn’t think any of the crimes could be coming from their local kids. From the few witnesses who had seen things and from what his officers gathered about the non-violent aspect of a big portion of the crimes, he was positive local teens were involved in a high percentage of what had been going on.
He ran his hands through his hair and looked out his office to the bull pen and Leah’s desk. She had seemed upset for most of the day. He’d approached her a couple times to ask if her arm was bothering her, but as usual she snapped at him like a turtle. It drove him crazy the way they always seemed to be at odds lately.
He missed her.
They used to hang out together, watch games on television, go catch a movie, grab a bite to eat. Anything and everything, they did it. Recently she had used every excuse in the book to get out of spending time with him. The only thing she hadn’t sprung on him was the old “I’m washing my hair” bit. What he wouldn’t give to pick up an extra large pie with sausage and pepperoni and a six-pack and drive over to her place, kick off his shoes, and watch whatever was on the tube.
Things changed between them when she started on the force. He’d expected that. It was natural that in some ways they would since he was going to be her boss, but in no way was he prepared for the way she had been acting the past couple of months. She had been moody and constantly at odds with him no matter what he said. If he said the moon was white, she would argue and say it’s only partially white. Some days he thought her only purpose was to pick a damn fight with him.
When he talked to her father the other day he’d casually dropped it in the conversation that she seemed like she’d been a little distant lately. Aaron replied that he hadn’t noticed it at all. He said she seemed fine the times he’d talked to her. Knowing that her moods only appeared to be related to him made him even more curious as to what was causing the rift between them.
For weeks he had been trying to write it off as him being her superior. Maybe it was hard for her to adjust to the working relationship when they had been virtually best friends for so many years. It wasn’t like he wasn’t fair to her. He probably treated her better than he did any of the other cops in the department. Sure, he might coddle her from time to time and treat her like she was special, but she was, damn it. That was something he would never be able to help, no matter how hard he tried. She was
more than special. In fact she was probably more important to him than even she realized.
Leah Allbright had grown up to be one hell of a woman. From pigtails to a shield and gun. He hated that she gave up her cute little hairdo for a piece of tin and a firearm but knew once she set her mind on something, unstoppable would be the only appropriate word to describe her. That made her most like her brother. Dex was never a quitter and succeeded at every goal he gave himself. It shouldn’t have really been a surprise that his little pip-squeak of a sister turned out to be anything but an exact replica of his character and honor.
He wished she did it with a little less sex appeal though. At least a half-dozen times that day he had caught one of the men staring at her ass or looking at her chest. He made a point to offer up a glare of warning to them if they even thought about touching her, making it clear they would meet with the business end of his fist. The menacing stare was almost perfected. Still, a couple of the more seasoned veterans within the department didn’t take him seriously and continued to gawk at her every chance they got.
Damn it! He was restless. All he’d done for the past several weeks was work, pick up fast food, go home and eat it alone, go to bed, wake up, and repeat the cycle.
More than restlessness and being lonely, he really did miss her. He thought of picking up the phone and calling to see what she was up to, but he knew from experience in these past weeks that he would get her voice mail. He tried to ignore his suspicious that she was screening her calls to avoid him. One night after several of his calls went unanswered, he’d driven by her place to check and make sure she was okay. He sat outside bewildered as he watched her sitting on the living room couch watching television alone, ignoring her ringing phone.
What was to stop him from picking up that pizza and stopping by her place tonight? It’s nothing he wouldn’t have done a thousand times before. Why did he catch himself second-guessing every decision he made about her lately? He wanted to look her in the eyes and demand to know what the hell had changed so drastically that she couldn’t stand to be around him. Every time they were alone together he told himself he was going to do just that. The problem was, their moments alone were fewer and far between these days.
When Promise Meets Passion Page 3