Captivated by Him

by Terri E. Laine

  “No,” I admitted.

  “Good, I’m making dinner.”

  My phone buzzed and my heart leaped only to sink again.

  “Rae, that’s my mom. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

  She agreed and we hung up.

  “Hey, Mom,” I said when the call switched over.

  “Megan, can you come by?”

  “Why, what’s wrong?”

  She seemed worried about something.

  “I just need to talk to you.”

  Last thing I needed was more bad news.

  “Can it wait? I actually have plans with Reagan.”

  “Well, Lee is off and we are hoping to talk to you together about something.”

  Was it about Gavin? Had he told my mom about him? I shook that thought off. I hadn’t told Mom anything, so how could Lee know we were together?

  “You can’t do it over the phone? Is it bad news?”

  “No,” she said, excitement brimming in her voice. “It’s mostly good news, I hope. And it’s the kind of thing we should tell you face to face.”

  Well if that wasn’t a huge clue.

  “Are you getting engaged?”

  “Megan, can you just come by and see Reagan after? It would really mean a lot to me.”

  “Okay, I’ll stop by.”

  “Good.” She sounded relieved. “It won’t take too long, I promise.”

  Gavin

  I’d waited until after the sun went down. The neighborhood was quiet, everyone all nestled inside. I wanted to get this over with and prayed that Megan would forgive me.

  I crept up to the house, which was completely dark, and something felt off. The closer I got, I noticed the door was cracked open. Nothing about this was right. But it was too late to back down. I pushed through the door and it opened without a sound until the floorboard creaked. At first I thought it was me, but I hadn’t moved.

  A muffled cry sounded to the left. I darted forward and pressed my back to the wall. I counted off thirty seconds in my head by five to steady my hand before entering the dark hallway. I had no idea what I was walking into.

  On thirty, I spun one hundred and eighty degrees and aimed the gun into the darkness. A light came on.

  It had totally been a setup.

  Jeff stood fifteen feet ahead with a kneeling woman in front of him. He shifted the aim of his gun from the back of her head to me. But then mine targeted the center of his chest.

  41

  past

  I kicked a rock as I walked. Dad had gotten me the old PlayStation for my twelfth birthday. The one like from a million years ago. He said I couldn’t have the latest one when I knew he had the money.

  Life sucked. I had to wear my pants low to cover up the fact that my jeans were too short. It was bad enough everyone thought we were poor.

  I sat on the pier hating life when I heard footsteps and the only friend I had in the world sat next to me.

  “Hey kid,” I said, scrubbing his head.

  “Stop, I’m not a kid.”

  He was six years younger than me, but he was the best friend I had.

  “What’s bothering you?”

  He didn’t tear through the woods like someone was chasing him for nothing. He shrugged. No one in our shit neighborhood had it good. That’s when I spotted the growing bruise on his head.

  “Who hit you?” I snarled.

  He looked down at his feet and didn’t answer.

  “Tell me!”

  He jumped and I felt bad for it.

  “I hit the bad man’s car with my ball. He called me a little shit and hit me.”

  My fist balled. The bad man could mean different people on our block. But the only guy who would hit a kid so small had to be Bear. I felt the bite of pain as my stubby nails dug into my palms.

  “Don’t you worry. We’ll get him back.”

  He looked up to me like I was a superhero. “We will.”

  I nodded. “Are you scared?”

  He shrugged again. I pulled out the small pocket knife Dad gave me.

  “How about we make a pact?”

  “What’s a pack?”

  “No, a pact,” I said. “You and me will look out for each other.”

  Rather I would look out for him, but I would never tell him that.

  He nodded. “Give me your hand.”

  When he did, I cut a small line down his palm.

  “Ouch.” He snatched his hand and stared at the blood.

  Quickly, I sliced my hand then held it out to him. “We’re blood brothers.”

  “I thought we were already blood brothers?”

  “Now it’s official,” I said, clasping our hands together. “Now and forever.”

  “Forever,” he repeated.

  “Gavin.”

  We both turned. Dad was headed our way. He stopped and his eyes turned furious.

  “Did you hit him?” he asked me.

  “No, sir.”

  He eyed both of us, then said, “Get him home. I have stuff to do.”

  We got to our feet and started the walk back. The woods were thick behind the house before you got to the water.

  “Just remember, it’s you and me, okay?”

  He nodded.

  I would always watch out for him.

  Then I heard a boat and it pulled up to our slip. A man climbed out and something shined on his belt—a shield, I think. Was Dad talking to a cop? Bear would kill us if he was, and I wanted to kill him first.

  42

  gavin

  “Why are you here?” I asked Jeffrey.

  I dropped my weapon to point at the floor.

  His sneer only made me hate him more, and everything he’d become, which he probably wanted. “Cleaning up your mess. We both know you don’t have the balls for this life.”

  “I don’t need you to protect me, Jeffery.”

  “Jeff,” he spat. “Are you so sure? Can you kill her?”

  He shook his weapon at the woman’s head. I’d almost forgotten she was there. There was no way I was answering his question.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” I said, as the woman sobbed at his feet.

  “I didn’t go to jail for you to end up here.”

  I ate up the distance between us. “What do you think happened when you went to juvie?”

  Jeff’s arm went slack. The gun hung loose at his side.

  “Yeah, I went through the same shit they put you through. The ride through the woods to drop a brick off in the bathroom, threatening a girl I liked. You didn’t save me from shit.”

  Surprised widened his eyes.

  “They said they’d leave you alone,” he said.

  “Yeah and you believed them. I fucking needed you…my brother, and you weren’t there. When you got out, you were theirs. You left Dad and me for them.”

  He raised up his palm, revealing the small scar there. “Blood brothers, remember? You can’t replace me with that rich boy.”

  “Tade has been more of a brother to me than you have.”

  A vein throbbed on his forehead as he murdered me with his next words.

  “I did this for you, brother.”

  Spittle flew from his mouth. He looked down at his palm with a slightly raised white line that mirrored my own before he turned and punched the wall.

  “I had no fucking choice. You weren’t there when they shot Mom.”

  I’d been there. Though I hadn’t been born yet. Mom had been pregnant with me when she’d been shot. They couldn’t save her, but they managed to save me.

  “No, but I’ve been taking care of Ashley and your kids since you’ve been inside.”

  My brother hadn’t stayed away from the girl he loved. He’d knocked her up while her husband was on tour.

  The woman between us moaned out undetermined words, drawing our attention back to her. Then clapping came from the distance.

  “Touching.” Bear stepped in behind me.

  I turned so my back was to the wall, rememberi
ng the first time he’d made me do something for the family. I’d barely gotten back from dropping off the package to save my father. Dad told me later that Jeff had gone through the exact same thing.

  “Is this another one of your tests?” I asked.

  “I’m surprised you showed up. We have a squealer in our midst. I would have bet my life it was you.”

  “Leave him alone,” Jeffery yelled.

  Bear raised his gun, silencing us all except the woman’s muted cries behind the duct tape over her mouth.

  “So what’s the play?” I asked, stepping in Bear’s path and raising my gun.

  “You fucking aim that gun I gave you in the right direction and do what I asked.”

  I didn’t trust him and I felt sweat trickling down my back.

  “And when I do, are you going to shoot me?”

  “Gavin, let me handle this,” Jeffrey said.

  Bear ignored him and laughed. “Don’t trust me.” I didn’t answer that. “If the boss thinks you’re an asset, you’ll survive the night. Prove your worth and shoot the stupid bitch. If you don’t, she dies anyway and so do you, your brother, and your father.”

  What choice did I have? He had me cornered in a way I never thought I’d be able to get out of. I muttered an apology, shifted my aim, and fired.

  “I’m the one talking to the Feds,” my stupid brother said, in his final attempt to save me.

  They were the last words from his mouth as Bear fired. I turned to see his eye explode, blood shooting out the back of his head.

  I think I yelled No, but automatically, I turned and fired at Bear’s center mass.

  Then there was the sound of another shot before all went silent again.

  Sharp pain lanced through my chest, knocking me off my feet. In that moment of absolute weightlessness, I had so many regrets for all the things that I’d left unsaid.

  Love.

  It had seemed so far out of my grasp.

  Now the time to claim it had passed.

  The impact with the floor stole all the breath from my lungs. I heard a scream and wondered dully if that was me.

  How had things gotten so out of hand?

  It was far too late to care as darkness encroached on my vision like an invader.

  The warm pool that grew beneath me only confirmed what I already knew.

  I closed my eyes, unable to hold them open a second longer.

  I managed to say, “I’m sorry.” But I didn’t know if my words had been heard outside of my head.

  Megan

  Still, no word from Gavin. But my attention was diverted as I drove onto Mom’s street. Flashing lights of red and blue colored the area. I slowed at the police tape and jumped out when I noticed the activity coming from our house.

  A cop stopped me from crossing the line, but I frantically told him that was my house. It took me showing my driver’s license, which I hadn’t changed yet, to prove it.

  Wind whipped through my hair as I tore across the neighbor’s yard and into my own. Mom came out of the house looking dazed.

  When she saw me, her eyes lit up and then we were both clinging to each other crying.

  “What happened?”

  She shook her head, her eyes stained by mascara tears. “I don’t know. A man came in the house with a gun shortly after I got off the phone with you. All I could think was you were coming over. I prayed he’d do it quickly and leave.”

  We were sobbing again until my world turned to confetti. Not the happy kind, but that of ash blowing in the wind.

  “No,” I cried.

  Gavin was wheeled out of the house with a police escort. It didn’t make sense. Mom held on tight as I tried to run to him.

  “Megan, you can’t. He came in with a gun prepared to kill.”

  “No! He wouldn’t do that. Not to me.”

  Dead eyes met mine in a face I loved. He stared right through me as if I didn’t exist as he was carted away.

  “I don’t believe it.”

  “Megan, stop. I was there. He pointed a gun to my head. If Lee hadn’t come in...”

  She could have told me Jesus Christ had risen again and I wouldn’t have heard her. My eyes lingered on the man I loved. My mind wouldn’t accept that he’d been there.

  Why? I hadn’t introduced him to her as my boyfriend. He’d only seen her once at graduation. But I didn’t have any answers. She wouldn’t lie. So why had he been there with a gun? The potential answers hurt too much.

  I didn’t allow myself to dwell on all the reasons he’d avoided my calls.

  Instead, after Mom had made her statement, we’d gone to the lake house. Tade invited us and I wasn’t allowed to see Gavin. Everyone looked at me with pity. All I could do was cry and Reagan held me. No one had answers, but I did.

  Somehow he’d done this for me. I couldn’t come up with a single reason why killing my mother would help us be together. I had to believe he’d known what he was doing. And maybe I was being stupid and naive.

  43

  megan

  It was Sunday morning when I got the call. I stepped outside into gloom. Clouds hung low and heavy, pregnant with rain.

  There he stood by his Mustang. I hadn’t appreciated the car before with its shiny paint in a midnight blue, sleek chrome finishes, and classic lines. But I studied it now, unable to look at the man who waited for me.

  I glided my finger down the side of the car until I got to him. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he made no move to remove them.

  Finally, I lifted my gaze to meet his.

  “Angel.”

  As if in slow motion, I shook my head. I wasn’t yet ready to speak. I let my emotion speak through the streaks of water that created rivers down my cheeks.

  I opened my mouth and poured every question I had in one choked word: “Why?”

  His hands shot out like a gunslinger’s, reaching for me, but I stepped out of his reach.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t have a choice,” he pleaded.

  I heard the pain in his voice.

  “Not much of an answer,” I said, still feeling dead inside.

  “I did what I thought I had to in order to keep you safe. I had no idea whose house it was when I entered.”

  That much added up to what Lee had told us when he showed up late yesterday.

  “Would you have killed her if you hadn’t recognized her?” When he said nothing, I added, “For your dad?”

  “Truth?” I nodded. This felt like the most crucial question. “No.”

  Lee had explained that Gavin had been giving him bits of information about the organization since before he graduated from high school. He’d done it to get his father out of jail and keep him out.

  He’d been wearing a wire when Jimmy, the guy that wanted him to kill my mother, ordered the hit. They’d had him on tape. But Jimmy was cagey and had avoided being caught. Gavin had gone to the house to make sure whoever was inside was safe. Lee hadn’t told him who lived there, as he was supposed to be off and that information was given to another agent. He’d been called in not knowing what was about to go down. So Gavin had put himself in harm’s way for a stranger and I loved him even more for it.

  “Do you forgive me?” he whispered.

  Some say the eyes were the windows into someone’s soul. Looking into his, I found turmoil, but his complete love for me.

  “Yes, but only for putting yourself in danger.”

  He’d done nothing else wrong.

  “I did it for you.”

  “I know.”

  But there was something else I had to ask.

  “How’s your brother?”

  The news that he had one had come as a shock. He’d never mentioned him before.

  “Brain dead—they took him off life support.”

  His tone was too flat. I closed the distance, flinging myself in his arms.

  “I’m sorry,” I said against his chest.

  “I can’t talk about it, Angel.”

  “Now or e
ver?”

  “For now, okay?”

  I nodded. How could I possibly push him? If there was something I learned from Reagan, it was that everyone handled grief differently.

  What Gavin hadn’t known was that his brother had joined the family to keep him safe. He’d thought him a traitor to their family. And I could see the guilt in his eyes.

  A car rolled to a stop behind Gavin’s. My father, dressed in jeans and a button-down, stepped out. It was the first time I’d seen him so casual.

  “Dad.” I ran over and hugged him.

  “Megan.”

  It felt so natural to call him that, and it would never get old.

  We walked over to Gavin and he held his hand out. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

  Score, my man had manners.

  “Nice to meet the man who’s won my daughter’s heart.”

  It happened so quick, I wasn’t sure I saw it. But there had been a look that passed between the two.

  “It’s so very important that any man who loves her be willing to do anything to keep her safe,” Dad said.

  “I am.”

  My gaze bounced between them. What was happening? I would have asked, but Mom came out, adding to the party mix.

  Dad gave me a quick squeeze before walking over to her.

  “Margarete.”

  “Greg.” There was tension. My guess was she still had feelings for him. “Is it wise for you to be here?”

  “I needed to see for myself that you and my daughter were safe.”

  Mom glanced over at Gavin and me. He’d slung an arm around my shoulder as we watched the show. All we needed was popcorn.

  “You should go. Lee will be here soon,” Mom said.

  “Margarete—”

  “Please, don’t make this any harder.”

  Mom pushed at her hair, probably not realizing that she flashed the engagement ring Lee had given her.

  “Do you love him?” Dad asked.

  Mom’s head snapped up. “When has love ever mattered?”

  “It matters to me. I walked away because of how much I loved you. You ask this Lee if he’d be willing to do the same if it meant you would be safe.”