If I Loved You (Hollywood Hearts 1)

by Jean C. Joachim

  “Sweet dreams, Dunc.” Megan hung up the phone and sighed. She rolled onto her back and thought about Chaz. Grady licked her nose then settled down next to her, resting his head on her leg.

  * * * *

  The next morning at six thirty, Grady was standing over Megan whining.

  “I suppose you want to go out, eh?” He whined at her again.

  Megan threw back the sheet and pulled herself out of bed. She tossed her little jersey dress on, slipped her feet into sandals, grabbed his leash plus a couple of empty bags, and headed for the elevator. “Good morning, Sam.”

  “Morning, Miss,” the morning doorman tipped his hat to her. “So you’ve got Baxter now, have ya?”

  “Baxter? Oh, Grady…you mean Grady. I changed his name.”

  “Named him after the character your boyfriend plays in the movies, did ya?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  “That’s not what that photographer fella says.”

  “What photographer fellow?”

  “Guy swings by every morning about eleven, askin’ about you and that fella. Askin’ if he’s been here.”

  “And what do you say?” Megan put her hand on her chest.

  “I say ‘Good Morning, Sir. Nice day, eh?’ and that’s all.”

  “Bless you, Sam.” Megan leaned over and pecked the rotund doorman on the cheek.

  He blushed a bright pink. “Just doin’ me job, Miss.”

  Oh my God. There’s someone here every morning. Megan made a face and groaned aloud. Grady stopped dead in his tracks, picked up his nose from the smell capturing his attention on the sidewalk, and barked at her. “I agree, Grady. He’s got some nerve snooping around.”

  “Do you always talk to your dog?”

  Suddenly, Megan was looking up into the ruggedly handsome face of Quinn Roberts.

  “Quinn Roberts?”

  “Yeah,” he said, offering her his hand.

  “Megan Davis.”

  “Megan Davis? Oh no, not the Megan Davis?” He raised his eyebrows.

  She laughed. “I don’t know. How many Megan Davis’ are there?”

  “Chaz Duncan’s…uh…friend?”

  Heat rose to her cheeks. “Guilty as charged.” She walked down the avenue.

  “He has good taste.” He fell in step with her.

  “Thank you.” Her blush deepened.

  “New dog?”

  “Got him yesterday.”

  “Figured. Chaz would’ve mentioned a dog.”

  “Why?” At the corner, Megan and Quinn turned back.

  “He loves dogs. He fed homeless dogs when we were doing stock together. Damned annoying having mangy mutts hanging around the theater. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

  “I’d like that. Perhaps you can fill me in on a few facts about Mr. Duncan.”

  “Uh oh. Feel a third degree coming on.” He stopped when they reached her building.

  “Let me take Grady back. I’ll be down in a minute.”

  She left Quinn sitting in the lobby of The Royal while she dropped off Grady. One look in the mirror and she was appalled. She applied a little blush and lipstick, slipped on a pair of more attractive sandals, and brushed her hair.

  On her way out, she ran into Penny and Mark, who were moving slowly toward the kitchen.

  “Can you feed Grady?” Megan asked.

  “Sure,” Penny said, scratching the snarl of tangles on top of her head.

  “Where you headed so early on a Sunday morning?” Mark rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and yawned.

  “I’m having coffee.”

  “With who?” Penny asked in a casual tone.

  “Uh…Quinn Roberts?”

  Instantly, Penny’s eyes opened wider. “Quinn Roberts!”

  “Are you going to sleep with him too? Aren’t they buddies? Are you becoming a groupie slut, Meg?” Mark’s face clouded with concern and a brief flash of anger flickered in his eyes.

  “Don’t be silly! I’d never do that to Chaz.”

  “I don’t want to have to beat this guy up before breakfast, okay?”

  “Ah, Mark, you always know exactly what to say to make my day.” Meg giggled as she closed the door behind her.

  The elevator whisked her down to the lobby quickly. As she approached, Quinn’s gaze roamed over her curves and he smiled in appreciation.

  “Ready,” she announced.

  “As I said before, Chaz has great taste.” He pushed to his feet and the pair strolled out and down the street to Starbucks.

  Chapter Eleven

  On a warm Thursday in late July, Megan threw on her favorite jersey dress, grabbed her notes, and set up a comfortable chair in front of the computer. Grady was sleeping on her bed, snoring softly. Meg shuffled papers, reading and rereading, preparing for her conference with Chaz.

  Finally, she turned on the computer and waited for Chaz’s call. It was nine thirty in New York City. She waited. And waited. And waited. Next to her feet, Grady rolled over into a more comfortable position, and Megan shifted in her chair. After twenty minutes, the chair became hard and punishing to sit in. She called Chaz, but her call went straight to voice mail. By ten o’clock, she packed up her papers and put them away. Maybe he’s shooting or re-shooting or whatever it is he’s doing out there. Maybe he’s running lines. I’m sure there’s a good explanation.

  At eleven, she got up and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Mark was draped around his wife as Penny stood at the sink, washing the coffee pot.

  “Hey, I’m here. Don’t start anything,” Megan warned as her shoulders slumped.

  “What are you doing up?”

  “I was supposed to have a conference with Chaz about his Perkins Products stock and the real estate mutual fund. But he wasn’t there.”

  “I see he’s been busy…real busy.” Mark separated from Penny and went over to the counter. He picked up a colorful newspaper and tossed it on the table in front of Meg.

  The headline screamed at her, “Chaz Duncan squires Anna Jason to the Premiere of the new PBS Series,” and underneath there was a picture of Chaz with his hand on the naked lower back of Anna Jason. Meg sank down into a chair at the kitchen table. “He…he has to do these things. He told me not to get upset that he has to take women out for…for publicity. For his work. Anna Jason?” Meg picked up the paper and perused it carefully.

  “I think he’s screwing around on you. He’s making it with this Anna chick. Look at the way he’s got his hand on her.” Mark went back to the sink and picked up a dishtowel.

  He does the same thing with me. Inside, she was crushed, but she couldn’t give her brother any more fuel for his dislike of Chaz. “I have to trust him, Mark. He told me he’d be doing things like this.”

  “Yeah, so he could get away with murder and still come to New York and get laid.”

  “Don’t talk like that!” Megan rose from the chair quickly, her voice angry.

  “It’s the truth. Face it, squirt, you’re one of many.”

  “I don’t believe that.” Tears of anger stung her eyes while fear of betrayal gnawed at her gut. He wouldn’t do that. He told me. I have to believe him…don’t I?

  “Where do you think he was tonight, Meg?” Mark put the coffeepot back on the counter.

  “What do you mean?” She leaned on the table, bracing herself.

  “When you were moping around here, waiting for a call from him. I’m not stupid just because I’m not an ‘A’ student.” He tossed the dishtowel to Penny.

  “Oh God,” she muttered, her head in her hands as she sank back down into the chair.

  “Mark!” Penny snapped the towel at him.

  “What? You want her to know the truth, don’t you? I don’t want him breaking her heart.”

  “You think he was out with Anna Jason?” Meg asked, lifting her gaze to his.

  “Damn right I do. He could have sent you a text…something.”

  Megan got up and raced to her bedroom. Grady ran behind h
er, barking. She grabbed her cell phone off the nightstand and opened the inbox. There it was. A message from Chaz. She smiled in relief as she opened the message.

  Sorry about tonight. On publicity duty. Don’t be upset by the

  pix of Anna and me. Promotion for the PBS series. You’re

  still my girl.

  Meg read the message over again on her way back to the living room.

  “Is there a message from him?”

  She nodded.

  “He talks about the pictures in the paper and apologized for missing tonight.”

  “I’ll bet he’s sorry. Did you see the rack on that chick?” Mark motioned with his hands.

  Penny smacked him lightly in the arm. “You’re not helping. Since when do you notice ‘racks’?”

  Megan sat down on the sofa. “I love Chaz. Okay. There. I’ve said it. We agreed we weren’t going to fall in love. Too late. I already have. This isn’t going to work if I don’t trust him. I have to believe him…give him a chance. When you go on the road, Penny has to trust that you’re not screwing around like the rest of the team with some babe you picked up in the hotel bar. Right?”

  Mark moved over to her and put his arm around her shoulders “Penny and I are married. We’ve made vows, declared our …love—not to get mushy. Hell, you and Chaz haven’t…in fact, you’ve both vowed not to. How do you keep vows or promises you haven’t made?” Megan’s eyes teared up. She hid her face in Mark’s shoulder.

  “I don’t know. But I have to. I can’t help it. I love him. So I have to trust him…until he breaks that trust. Chaz is…has…life hasn’t been easy for him. He doesn’t trust easily. He’ll get around to declaring himself …one of these days. I know he will. If I’m demanding, bitchy, and controlling, he’ll bolt. I need to hold him with a loose grip.”

  “That’s very wise.” Penny rubbed Meg’s shoulder.

  “What’s so special about this guy…I mean, besides his good looks and money?”

  “You wouldn’t understand.” Meg wiped her eyes with her hand.

  “You used to talk to me about guys,” Mark replied.

  “This is different, it’s private. Hey, I don’t want to love him. I fought it right from the start. Who needs more celebrity? I hate the limelight, and I don’t want that life…dodging the media, watching your every word. But it’s too late.”

  “You’re too good for him. Don’t take any crap, Meg. If he breaks your heart, he’ll have to answer to me.”

  Mark straightened up. Meg followed, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Thanks, lug.”

  “Whose turn is it to take Grady out?” Penny asked.

  Meg and Mark pointed at each other.

  * * * *

  Chaz was ready for their next scheduled conference. In fact, he was early. Meg rushed to the computer when she heard the call notification, hastily smearing on lipstick before sitting down in front of a glowering Chaz. “Hi,” she said, uneasy at the look on his face.

  “What were you doing out with Quinn?”

  “What?”

  “Quinn Roberts. Haven’t you seen Celebs R Us yet? Your picture is plastered on the front page. The headline reads, ‘Quinn Roberts “Borrows” Duncan’s Girl For…Financial Advice?’”

  “That’s ridiculous!” Megan sputtered.

  “But there you are, together. Are you dating him? I’ll kill Quinn.”

  “We ran into each other by accident on Central Park West. I was taking Grady for a walk.”

  “Accident? Right,” Chaz scoffed, the cloudy look not lifting from his features.

  “Yes, right! And he asked me for coffee. I had no idea someone was taking pictures of us.”

  “So you did go out with him then?” The triumphant tone in Chaz’s voice raised Meg’s hackles.

  “We went for coffee…hey, weren’t you the one who said, ‘no commitment’? That leaves me free to have coffee, or anything else, with anyone I want.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that…”

  “Oh, and how did you mean it? Freedom for you, but not for me? You can go out with Anna-what’s-her-face and put your hands on her in public, but I can’t share a cup of coffee with Quinn? That doesn’t work for me, Chaz.”

  Chaz’s expression softened immediately, and Megan knew she’d won. “I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want to date anyone else…and I don’t want you to either.”

  “So now you’re talking exclusive relationship?” Megan crossed her arms in front of her chest.

  “Guess so. Are you going to see Quinn again?”

  “I hadn’t planned on it. We spent the whole time talking about you. He’s your friend. He didn’t come on to me or anything. He told me some pretty funny stories about the two of you in Pine Grove.”

  “He didn’t come on to you? Good.”

  “Of course not. And Anna?”

  “That was publicity. I told you. I had my hand on her back…if it was her front, I could see your anger. Meg, maybe you don’t want to be with someone whose picture appears in the paper with other women from time to time.”

  “I don’t. I never have. I hate all the celebrity crap, and you’re the last person I’d want to get involved with.”

  Chaz sat silently staring at her. She knew she’d gone too far. “Are you saying you want us to be only business?”

  She could see sweat break out on his forehead. That’s the last thing I want. What have I done?

  “No, no, no. I don’t want that. I…I…want to stay with you. I didn’t mean it like it sounded or came out or anything.”

  “Please, I don’t want to lose you. You’re so different…special. I’m not good with words here, don’t know what to say except…my life wouldn’t be the same without you.”

  His eyes told the story. Meg could see he meant what he said, that he wasn’t acting. A small smile broke out on her face.

  “I feel the same,” she said in a soft voice.

  “Do you want to stay with me?” He asked.

  “I do. And you?”

  She could see his neck get red. “Would I be here otherwise? I haven’t had a lot of long-term relationships, Meg. It’s hard in this business. Women think they want to go out with you until the press gets nosy. When they find unflattering pictures of themselves splattered all over the media, they usually cut and run.”

  “I can see why.”

  “I’ve tried to date only actresses, but then I’ve found some women consider sleeping with me a stepping stone for their careers.”

  “Really?” She put down her note cards.

  “It isn’t long before they’re pumping me for who I can introduce them to, or they’re loving all the publicity. It gets ugly pretty quickly after that.”

  “So you’re alone most of the time?”

  “Alone is safer.” Chaz raised a coffee cup to his lips.

  “Do you like it?”

  “Are you crazy? You’re different. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

  “Yeah, I’m not surprised. Nerdy women aren’t on the top of your list.” She bit her lip.

  “Just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you’re a nerd.”

  “I’m not exactly a hot chick, either.”

  Chaz shot a wicked grin at her. “I think you are. Since we’re alone and no one can see, why are you wearing so much? Why don’t you get comfortable?”

  “You want me to undress, here, in front of the computer?”

  “Slowly and to music would be amazing.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  She laughed. “I don’t think so!”

  “A guy can try, can’t he? I miss your body.”

  Color shot into Meg’s cheeks as she turned her gaze away from his.

  “Did I embarrass you, little chick? Don’t be. You do have a great body.”

  Her cheeks got hotter as she began shuffling through papers.

  “Let’s talk about Perkins. I’ve put together some figures…”

  “I wish I could kiss you right now.”

&nbs
p; Meg put the papers down and looked up. The sexy look on Chaz’s face sent warmth coursing through her veins. She studied his face, his hair falling into his eyes, the stubble on his cheek, and she lifted her hand as if to touch him then put it down. “I wish you could, too,” she whispered.

  “Let’s be exclusive…okay? No dating anyone else.”

  She nodded, mesmerized by the intensity of his dark eyes. He smiled and flattened his hand on the screen. She raised her palm to meet his.

  “I hate being so far away. When can you fly out here? I’m going to have a day off in another ten days. I’ll email you the date. Can you come then?”

  “Okay.”

  A wide grin flashed across his handsome features, sending heat right through the computer screen to Meg. “Can’t wait to have you here with me…in my bed.”

  “Dunc…I miss you.”

  “It won’t be long now, little chick. Hang on. What did you want to talk about?”

  The feeling of paper in her hand brought her attention back to her original mission for the call. “Perkins. Perkins Products. I wanted to go over some figures with you before I recommend investing in them…”

  Chaz sat back, lacing his fingers behind his head and smiling. “Fire away, investment lady.”

  * * * *

  For Chaz, the next day was stop and start, start and stop. A piece of audio equipment broke down. His co-star had a coughing fit. Everything seemed to slow down shooting. Anticipation of seeing Meg again made him a bit jumpy and totally impatient. He wanted to speed up everything so he could spend time with her. This euphoria was a new feeling for Chaz. Several people remarked on his constant smile and lack of grumpiness on the set, with everything going wrong. I’ve finally fallen in love. God, it feels great.

  On Thursday, he found a semi-quiet corner and checked his phone before dinner. There it was…another reason to rejoice, a text from Allie, his agent.

  Are you sitting down? You got the part in Rainy Sundays. Next stop…Broadway.

  Chaz leapt up and hollered, which silenced the room immediately.

  “I’m going to be in a Broadway musical!”

  A round of applause plus the good news doused his appetite. Meg!