by Summer Lee
Tingling pain shot through her legs and feet. She moaned.
“I have no feeling in my legs.”
“Just lean on us, little sister,” said Mara. Together, she and Sarah gently lifted Kenana from the bed and onto her feet.
“Oh! My legs are asleep. I can’t feel them.”
“Just calm down, Keni, dear,” said Sarah. “Give them a moment to adjust.”
But the pain in her legs seemed to intensify. She begged the two women to allow her to sit a moment, and they did. And when the pins-and-needles sensation had left her legs, Kenana nodded and both women once again helped her to her feet.
“How far do I have to walk?” she asked.
“Downstairs to the courtyard,” said Sarah. “Asher’s orders.”
Despite the pain in her legs, Kenana secretly smiled to herself. She enjoyed the idea that Asher was taking such good care of her. She enjoyed his attention and love. And, she admitted to herself, she certainly did not mind following his orders.
Kenana loved that man.
Chapter Fourteen
The baby cried out. Kenana bolted upright, instantly awake from a deep, dreamless sleep. From across the room, in the reed bassinet, the baby cried out again, louder.
Where were the servants? Or Mara or Sarah?
But Kenana was alone for the time being. And as the baby continued crying, Kenana got up out of bed, groaning slightly as she held her stitched stomach.
Walking slowly, taking one-step at a time, Kenana slowly made her way toward her baby’s reed basket. She had to move around more so as to have strength to care for the infant.
She went over to the bassinet and carefully picked up her son. Her very heavy son. A bolt of pain zigzagged through her midsection.
But at her touch, the babe was instantly calm. Kenana hugged him and laughed. She brought him to her bed, and then to her breast.
I am the best mother I can be. Milk or no milk, I love this little one with all my heart.
And as little Tyro sucked noisily, Kenana’s heart suddenly felt heavy. She so needed to talk to someone about her miserable past. With no one present, she decided Tyro was a good audience.
“I had a horrible marriage, Tyro,” she said quietly. “My husband purchased me as he would have purchased a goat to slaughter for dinner. He literally owned me. When he sent me to Zoan to sell his musical instruments, I felt free. I felt so free that I wanted to never come back to this palace—this prison.”
Kenana gently stroked her son’s hair, feeling he was her best friend in the world. “I had fun with your father, even though he turned out to be a horrible, horrible creature.” She paused and watched her son, his round features highlighted by the soft glow of the nearby oil lamp. Kenana preferred to have such a lamp burning. The light gave her peace.
She continued, “But Asher saved me and proved himself a wonderful Goel. Still, he disappeared for many months, leaving me alone and wondering if he would ever return. Now he is back—but the future is still wide open. And now I have you, little one. Will you be good to me?”
Tyro pulled away and appeared to smile up at her. Kenana could not help but smile, too. “There is a lot I do not know about angels, both good and bad. I just know one was your father, and I am left to raise you alone, because he displeased El. I do believe that good is more powerful than evil, and I will teach you about El and how good he is. I will show you how to live an excellent life. Then you will love and trust El as I do.”
Even with the help of the palace staff, the idea of raising her baby alone seemed daunting. She would pray and ask El to help her, to give her strength. She would ask him to give her the right man to be a father to her son. Malluch would have made a horrible father, even if he had stayed with her.
The first blessing she wanted from El was that he would give her faith in difficult times. Next, she wanted to be a good mother, a very good mother. She wanted her son to be molded with a hand of love. Whatever it would take, she did not want her son to grow up to be evil.
Just as these thoughts appeared in her mind, a blinding light flashed through her room, and when her vision cleared, the elusive angel was standing by her side, looking even more beautiful than Kenana remembered. The angel smiled warmly down at her.
“Do not worry, my child,” said the apparition sweetly. “I will watch over your son. I will keep love alive in his heart. He is destined for great things, my child. He will be a man among men. Legends will be written of him. His story will be passed down through the ages. But you, my child, must keep love alive in your heart as well. Do not let darkness take hold of you. Trust El and trust your heart.” Kenana was certain this was a messenger sent from Heaven above. She opened her mouth to speak, but did not know what to say.
“You want to know who I am, do you not?”
“Yes.”
“I am Bertha, Tyro’s guardian angel.” And then the angel was gone. Or perhaps she was never there. Perhaps the angel was nothing more than a figment of Kenana’s overactive imagination.
Perhaps. Perhaps not.
Chapter Fifteen
It was the middle of the night and Kenana awoke with a start.
She was certain someone had been watching her, but, sitting up in bed and scanning the dark corners of the room, she saw that she was indeed alone.
Just a bad dream, she thought.
Tyro was sleeping contentedly in his reed basket. Kenana knew that a servant was waiting just outside the door, alert for Kenana’s call, should she feel danger. Kenana was tempted to call the girl in, just to have some company, but she resisted.
Be strong. It was just a bad dream. There is no one here.
Outside, beyond the stone balcony, the leaves of the olive trees shook and rattled. A small wind blew in through the open wind, sending cold fingers of ice along Kenana’s skin and through her hair.
She shivered.
And when her gaze returned to the room, Kenana gasped. Standing beside her bed were two figures, both glowing brilliantly. More angels? These two were male, and she recognized one of them.
Malluch?
Yes. There stood the fallen angel who had deceived her. The father of her baby was back. The fallen angel who had cruelly raped her in Egypt. The fallen angel who had attempted to steal her away as his wife, until Asher had stepped in and banished the creature. He now stood in her room once more. “No,” she said shaking her head.
“Fear not, child,” said the other angel.
“Who are you?”
“My name is Wonder. I am here to keep you safe.”
“Oh.”
Kenana saw now that Malluch was bound in shimmering silvery chains. “The Fallen One has requested an audience with you. The choice, however, is yours. Do you wish to allow the Fallen One an audience, my child? You are under no obligation.”
Kenana opened her mouth to speak, but the words failed her. Surely, she was dreaming. Just how many angelic manifestations did a girl receive in one night? She licked her lips. Her mouth was dry.
The angel spoke again, gently. “He cannot harm you. Ever again.”
“Is that true?”
“You can trust me. You see Malluch’s chains.”
“Yes, I see them,” said Kenana.
“You are in no danger.”
“Yes, he may speak.”
The angel nodded once and swept his hand over Malluch’s face, removing a muzzle. In that instant, her one-time guardian angel looked over at her and smiled. Seeing Malluch again, with his beautiful mane of silver hair and flashing his perfect white teeth, brought a wealth of emotions back to Kenana. He was, after all, the same creature she had once loved. The same creature who had promised her the world. Actually, the universe. And now, as he stood before her, bound and gagged like a common criminal, tears formed and made their way down her cheeks.
“Is the gag really necessary?” Malluch asked the guardian angel standing beside him. The angel neither moved nor acknowledged Malluch’s question.
The fallen angel, as beautiful as ever, as powerful-looking as ever, with his broad shoulders and jaunty grin, turned from the stoic angel and gazed down at Kenana, who was now sitting up in bed. Kenana self-consciously pulled her bedding up over her chest.
“Hell, my dear love,” he said easily, swearing. Kenana was not very surprised that his deep voice still had a powerful effect on her.
Wonder, the other angel spoke sternly. “Do not swear again.”
“I’m not your ‘dear’ anything,” Kenana said defiantly. “You lost the opportunity to call me anything endearing the moment you raped me.” She felt the redness of rage rise into her face.
“Do not speak to me in that tone, young lady,” Malluch said strongly, attempting to move toward her.
The guardian angel next to Malluch swept his hand through the air, instantly silencing the fallen angel and freezing him in place. “Final warning: Do not upset this child.”
Malluch nodded once, bowing. The angel waved his hand again, removing the gag once more.
Malluch sighed and said, “Many apologies if I have upset the queen.” He emphasized the last word, almost making a mockery of it.
Kenana frowned. She was tempted to have the fallen angel removed from her presence, but something stopped her. He was, after all, the father of her baby. “What are you doing here, Malluch?” she asked.
“I’ve come to see my son,” he said.
“And that’s it?”
“Yes, of course.”
“And what about me?” she asked, suddenly angry. “I have been through a lot of pain since the last time I saw you. You were the cause of it all. Does that not matter to you?”
“I care more than you will ever know,” he said quietly.
“You have had a strange way of showing it.” Kenana took a deep, shuddering breath. She wanted to believe him. Needed to believe him.
And hated herself for caring what he thought. She reminded herself that he had stolen her wholesomeness, her innocence, really. And if not for Asher, he would have stolen her away to another time and place. He had promised her the stars.
“Where have you been?” she asked.
“A prison, of sorts. Sent there by your loving Asher,” he said, virtually spitting the words out. “I also went to court. I’ve been told that I will be bound until the consummation of the ages.”
“I don’t understand.”
“El tolerates no sin from his angels,” said Wonder, the other angel. “All fallen angels are punished severely. There is no plan to redeem them.”
“What about me?” Kenana asked Wonder. “I, too, have sinned.”
“El has a plan to redeem humans who sin.”
Kenana took in some air, sat a little straighter. Her emotions were nearly out of control. She put a hand on her chest to calm herself. Wonder continued, “Do not fear. The holy men in your family will explain it to you.”
Kenana looked up into Malluch’s face. He was so handsome, perhaps too handsome. She still loved Malluch, despite what he had done to her. She looked deeply into Malluch’s eyes and saw them moisten with tears.
“Kenana,” he said.
“What do you think about your son?” she asked, motioning to the reed bassinet.
Malluch first looked to the guardian angel for permission. Wonder nodded once. Suddenly, and in a blink of an eye Malluch was standing by the baby’s bassinet.
“He is strikingly handsome,” said Malluch, smiling. Then he looked over at her and grinned. Lifting one eyebrow, he said, “Obviously, he is my son.”
Despite herself, Kenana laughed. “Obviously!” Malluch had always been brazenly cocky. Dangerously attractive. Devilishly exciting. Always he made her heart race. He had an amazing physical effect on her, sending shivers to her toes.
“Will you answer one question?” she asked.
He turned his gaze away from the baby toward her again. She could always feel the power of his unblinking gaze even from across the room. She took in more air and let it out slowly, attempting to relax.
“Anything, my queen,” he said, with a look of love in his eyes.
She shook her head. “Were you ever a good angel?”
“Yes, in millennia gone by.”
“Where did I fit in the picture?”
In a blink, Malluch was standing back by her side. “I was assigned to guard you.” He gazed lovingly into her eyes for a long, long time before answering. “At one time, I worshipped you, and wanted to make you happy. I followed you everywhere you went to protect you, but I fell in love with you. Once I fell for you, I wanted to take you to the stars.”
“I did not ask for your love,” said Kenana, breaking in. “There was no way I could know you were dangerous.”
“I know. I soon learned you were but a foolish girl. I loved you despite your foolishness, knowing such love was wrong. Knowing such love would damn my soul for eternity—”
“I did not ask for your sacrifice. You were free to go anytime.”
He continued as if she had not spoken. “But when I saw that you did not truly love me, that you were merely fascinated by me and instead loved your slave, Asher, I reacted regrettably. When I followed you to Egypt, I tried to force you to love me.”
“I guess that explains the fabulous trip to see the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.”
“And the stars,” he said sadly.
Kenana heard his words, heard the sorrow in his voice, but she did not believe him. No, the creature called Malluch was capable of being quite manipulative. Perhaps he was only sorry because he had been caught. Perhaps he was only sorry because he had been condemned to eternal prison. On the other hand, perhaps he really was remorseful on some level. Besides, what did it matter now? He would be forever gone. Her heart would be forever damaged.
She closed her eyes, blinked back the tears and changed the subject. “Will our son have a soul?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “He is a Nephilim now. Part human; part fallen angel. His kind is prone to violence.”
The other angel spoke, “There are some who resist such urges and go on to do great things in this life.”
“I will do my best for him,” said Kenana.
“We shall see.” Malluch looked at his son. “What will you tell him about me?”
“I will tell him only good things. I must tolerate no bad memories of you, otherwise, I’ll go mad,” she said. El knew she wanted to reach out and kiss this beautiful creature. Malluch, she knew, sensed her need and tried to move closer, but the guardian angel restrained him. Kenana ached for his touch one last time. But her love for him had died the instant he forced himself on her in Egypt, and it could not return. She would never allow another to control her love the way he had done. “I loved you once, Malluch, despite what you say. But you destroyed that love.”
He shrugged. “I did what I thought was necessary.”
“I hate you for that,” she said, and now she was weeping. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth from the beginning? I would have given you my love freely at that time.” Kenana was trembling. “You deceived me into thinking you were something you weren’t.”
“I was afraid of telling you who I really was. What I really was.”
She knew he spoke the truth. As explained to her by her grandfather Enoch, the Fallen Ones lacked the light and peace of El, leaving them with fear and doubt. She knew Malluch’s emotions were as jumbled as her own.
And as he stared down at her unblinkingly, as his silver mane lifted and fell on currents unseen and unfelt, Kenana rose up from her bed, stepped over and hugged the powerful creature as hard as she could. Bound, he could not return the gesture, but she felt his spirit surround her, engulf her, and for a brief moment she was his, and he was hers.
“I’ll never forget you, but I must move on.” She hugged him one last time. “You must go now.”
Choking on her sobs, she released him and turned away, tears streaming down her cheeks. And as the silver glow in her room disappeared, she hear
d his final words:
“I will always love you, Queen Kenana….”
Chapter Sixteen
A month went by and all was quiet at the palace. Mara had gone home with Gad to help deal with the slave uprising. Kenana prayed for her sister’s safety.
Kenana herself was doing much better and had almost regained full strength. The baby boy, Tyro, seemed to be growing exponentially.
One morning, just as Gola had finished feeding Tyro, Kenana asked Gola if she would take Tyro out to get some sunshine.
Kenana then invited Asher to join her in the parlor for tea.
“It is time we had a talk,” she said to him when they sat down on the settee. He waited impassively. She continued, “I want to know why you were gone so long. I had finally convinced myself that you had fallen madly in love with another woman and were gone forever.”
Asher laughed and took her hand. “You have an overactive imagination, my queen. I went in search of my ancestral home. That was all I did.”
“Where you were kidnapped?” she asked.
“Yes, and where my family was killed. I had very little memory of it, but with some help and luck and the aid of a fallen star, I found it.”
Kenana wasn’t sure she had heard right. “Fallen star?”
Asher explained that he had been about to give up on his search for his home when one evening a star flashed in the heavens, and appeared to fall from the sky. Indeed, it fell straight to the earth. Curious, he had followed it until he had come across what he was sure was his ancestral lands.
“But the great house that I remembered was gone. In its place was a small cottage. I soon learned that the woman who lived there was my cousin, Ava. She remembered me and remembered the day the Nephilim raiders killed our families and kidnapped me. She thought she would never see me alive again.”
Kenana knew he had been sold into slavery. Kenana knew that most young slaves did not survive into adulthood, and that they were little more than chattel, property to be used and abused and discarded at the slave master’s discretion. Asher was different. He was intelligent and soon rose in status to be head over all of the servants at Jubal’s palace.