by Marie, Lisa
Leading her to the bed, I take my time exploring every inch of her. Worshiping her like she deserves to be worshiped.
Chapter 13
Riley moved into Widow Crawley’s house on the first of the month. Her tenants took great care of the property and even had a raised garden with a composter and watering system. They left it behind when they moved out.
I pull up to the house and pick up the bunch of pink carnations I cut from the flower bush behind my house, and I step up onto the porch. Knocking twice I open the door and wipe my feet on the welcome mat, like I always do.
“Ri!” I call out and walk toward the stairs, passing the empty kitchen on my way. I get no response, and I continue on my path through the home. “Ri! Where you at?”
“I’m upstairs. I’ll be right down,” she yells, and I back step until I reach the kitchen. It’s got the limited necessities, coffee maker that makes single cup servings. It’s definitely not for me. I drink a pot a day.
I look out the window and I hear her footsteps come down the stairs, they quicken when she reaches the last step and momentarily her tiny arms are around my waist. “Hi, baby,” she whispers into my back and hugs tighter.
“Hi,” I whisper back. “I brought you a little something.”
“You did?” she questions in surprise. “What is it?”
I expose the bunch of flowers and her face lights up. “They’re beautiful!” she announces as she brings the bunch to her nose and inhales deeply. Her eyes close and she smiles widely. “They’re beautiful. Thank you!” She kisses my cheek and turns to get a vase.
“I thought you needed something to brighten up the place. A small housewarming gift.” I explain to her as I sit at the table and follow her every move with my eyes. She’s delicate, and I can’t keep my eyes off of her, like watching a butterfly in the yard.
Running the water, she fills the vase and places the flowers inside. Pulling them apart gently, they fill the space, and she carries the decoration to the table. Placing it in the center of the table, she looks quite proud of herself as her hand comes up and rests on my shoulder.
“Thanks, babe.” Riley bends over and kisses my cheek. She pulls out the chair beside me and sits, taking my hand in hers she leans her head on my shoulder. My hand finds the small of her back. We sit in silence for a spell, not needing to say anything just enjoying each other.
“I’m going to visit my parents next weekend. In Salt Lake City. I was wondering if you would want to come?” She looks up at me with puppy dog eyes. Her thumb rubs lightly across the back of my hand, and I look at her deeply and smile.
I’ve never had an interest in going to Salt Lake City. I don’t know why, but it just really has never held my attention. It’s a good fifteen hour drive from here if we drive straight through, and I’m still not keen on long interstate trips. “Flying?” I raise my eyebrows and ask her hopefully.
“No, why fly when driving is a ton cheaper and way more fun.”
“Since when is a numb ass and cramped legs more fun than flying?” I tease. I know she’s right but at the same time I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t even know if I’m ready to meet her parents.
“Still nervous about long interstate drives, babe?” she asks before standing from her chair and straddling my lap. Her arms rest on my shoulders, and her lips find my neck.
“Honestly? Yeah.” I swallow hard and take a breath. “But I think I’m more nervous about meeting your parents. The last parents I met really didn’t approve, and I don’t think my ego can take it again.”
“I’ve been telling my parents all about you. They are really excited to meet you and I promise that they are nothing like Mel’s parents. My dad is the one pushing to meet you.” She wiggles slightly while pressing herself onto my lap. I gasp slightly and a low moan erupts from my throat.
“I have a really big fear of shot guns and dying. They aren’t very high on my list of things to do,” I whisper causing her to laugh.
“You don’t have to worry about that. My daddy doesn’t have a gun. He doesn’t even know how to use one.” She runs her hand down my chest. “Besides, my mom is the one you would have to worry about. She’s taken all the shooting lessons. I think she’s gotten pretty good.”
Pulling my head back I raise an eyebrow at her, which takes her by surprise. “BABY! You finally did it! You raised an eyebrow, without your fingers!”
“Pretty good right?” I beam.
“Amazing, baby! I’m so proud of you!” She wraps her arms tightly around my neck and squeezes. My face finds the spot between her breasts, and it automatically takes comfort in its new resting place.
Thinking about it for a moment. I bite my lip and sigh. “You really want me to go with you, babe?” I ask her knowing full well that she will let me have an out if I need one. She would never force me to do something that I wasn’t ready to do.
Resting her head on my shoulder, she tenderly strokes my chest. “Babe, if you don’t want to you don’t have to. I won’t make you do anything if you aren’t ready.”
Taking a deep breath, I look down at her and smooth her hair. “No, I’ll come. I don’t know if I am one hundred percent ready for this road trip, but I should be moving on, pressing forward right?”
She doesn’t respond. She nuzzles into my neck instead.
“Alright, I’ll go. But I don’t know if I will be able to share the driving responsibilities. I’m sure you understand that.”
“Thank you, baby. I think this will be good for you. Help you heal and move forward.” Standing up, she takes my hand in hers and pulls me up. Linking both of our hands, she steps forward and tilts her head up slightly to look at me, and I tilt mine down. Pressing a quick kiss to her lips, I pull back and take notice of her smile. She’s glowing.
“You’re pretty happy I’m going with you.”
“Captain Obvious is in the room.” She smirks. “Of course I am. My parents will be thrilled. I’ve never brought a boy home before.”
“Never?”
“No one’s been good enough to meet my family. My parents have had no interest in meeting anyone of them either. Until you.”
“Wow. That’s a lot of pressure.”
“Why is that?”
“It makes me feel like I need to be perfect.”
“You are,” she says and it makes me feel like a million bucks. I’ve never believed that anyone else would feel the way that Mel did, and this just tops the cake.
Dropping one of my hands, she slowly starts backing up and pulling me behind her. “Where are we going?” I question playfully. She continues walking and turns her back to me, our fingers still locked. “Where are you taking me?”
“Follow me.” She sings.
“Why should I do that?” This question causes Riley to stop dead in her tracks. Turning, she raises her eyebrow and leans in.
Whispering she replies, “Because I’m going to take you upstairs to the bedroom and show you just how happy you have made me.”
“How happy have I made you?” I offer a crooked smile.
“VERY happy. Now stop asking questions and follow me.”
I don’t argue. I don’t hesitate. I do what I’m asked and follow her up the stairs to the bedroom.
*
“I don’t want you to go to the city tomorrow. Can’t you just take this week off? Do you really need to go look at those houses?” We lay together tangled limbs twisted up in the sheets. Her head is resting on my shoulder, and I’m tracing small lines down her bare arm. My question causes her to roll onto her stomach and cross both arms under her chin.
“Trust me, I’d rather stay here now that I’ve moved in as well, but I have a few strings in the city. Plus I have to speak with my contractor. The house needs an extensive facelift, and I have to make sure he got all the permits so it can be finished next month.”
“That needs to be done tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Why don’t you come with me? I could take you to all my haunts and we could have a min
i adventure.”
“Sorry, love, I can’t. I have to rebuild a porch for Sue’s restaurant tomorrow, and then I have to go get the paint for her window frames and shutters.”
“Work blows. I wish we didn’t have to do it.”
“Me too, but we have to this week if we are going to go to Salt Lake City next week. How long are we going for, so I can be sure to tell everyone if they need me to do something?”
“How long do you want to go? Three days with two days driving?” She lays back on the pillow, and I sit up contemplating my answer.
“We could do that. I’ll take a week off so we can pretend we aren’t home for a couple of days after, and we can just stay in bed the whole time.” I kiss her belly.
“That is the best suggestion I have heard in a long time.” She purrs and pulls me back down onto her. Our chests press together, and our mouths meet. Her lips taste like honey, and she smells like heaven.
Reluctantly, I pull back and rest above her on my elbows. Her fingers run through my hair, and I trace her cheekbone with my thumb. “Why did you accept my phone call when I called to ask you to come with me to see Mel?”
Her nostrils flare slightly with the intake of breath. “I was never really mad at you. I was mad at myself. I had to make myself mad so that I wouldn’t try to persuade you just to move on. So you wouldn’t hate me.”
“I didn’t hate you. A couple of days after I got home from my parent’s house I had to stop myself from calling you. From trying to find you. I was under the impression that you were very upset with me.” I flop back on the pillow and blow out a puff of air. “I knew I couldn’t be the man you wanted. I wasn’t ready but I didn’t realize just how much I wasn’t ready until Tim pointed it out to me, in an extremely blunt way.”
“Is that so?”
“Truth.” I hold up three fingers and smile. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize that it was time to move on.”
“You took as long as you needed. It wasn’t too long, and I know you aren’t one hundred percent out of the past, but you are able to move on and you want to move on. That’s what counts.”
“No, I kept my promise to you. YOU are the one I wanted to move forward with.”
We lay here for another hour, talking quietly between ourselves. Just the two of us.
Chapter 14
I wake up in a cold sweat for the first time in months, except I don’t know for certain what I was dreaming of. I don’t know if it was Mel or the attack or what, all I know is I’m rattled. My body is vibrating with nervous energy, and my heart is pounding in my chest.
Sitting up, I wipe the sweat from my brow, throw my legs over the side of the bed and cradle my head in my hands. Rubbing my temples, I shake my head back and forth and throw the blanket off my body. Standing I walk to the kitchen and fill a glass with water. Downing the glassful, I refill it and walk into the living room.
I want to call Riley. I have the sudden need to talk with her, and I don’t know why. That dream surely fluttered my brain, and it’s going to take a little bit to calm down before I can get back to sleep. I sit on the sofa and look up at the green LED screen telling me the time. 4:37 A.M. There’s no way I will be getting back to sleep. But what on earth was I dreaming about to make me wake up like that?
I turn on the television and flip aimlessly through the channels. There’s a show about multiples. I can’t tell if it’s the marriage or the kids, but why on earth is this on TV? Turning off the television again, I throw the remote back onto the tabletop and stalk to the bathroom to take a shower. Might as well get today on the road.
As I turn on the water, I get a memory flash that I just can’t place. I can’t tell what it really was, but it has my heart hammering again. I place my hand up on the tile in the stall and brace myself. I don’t know why but I’m feeling absolute dread. I wonder if this is an anxiety attack. I wonder if it finally hit me that I will be meeting her parents, or maybe it’s the fact that I will be driving for fifteen hours on the interstate.
Slowly, I lower myself to the tub and allow the water to wash over me while I put my head between my knees in an attempt to both calm down and catch my breath. My chest feels like it’s caving in on me, and my body is killing me. It’s bad. This is so bad. Curling into a ball in the tub, I wait and pray for the feeling to stop.
I lay here until the water runs cold. Shivering, my teeth knock against each other as I slowly rise up and turn off the water. Reaching out I take the towel with my fingertips and drag it from the rack to the floor. With aching muscles, I climb out of the tub and wrap myself in the soft bath towel and stumble back to my bedroom. Climbing back under my blankets I tremble and wait for the cold to leave. My jaw hurts from being clenched so hard.
As I begin to warm, I look up at my clock and see that it’s now 6:15, and I am thinking about calling Riley. I’m still shivering as I dial her number.
“Good morning, baby.” She yawns into the phone. It’s obvious that I woke her, but she won’t say anything.
“I’m sorry, Ri, did I wake you?”
“It’s okay. I slept in. How are you doing?”
““I-I think I had an anxiety attack.” I tuck in tighter on the bed and continue to try to warm up while listening for her response.
“Oh, I’m sorry, baby. Tell me, how are you feeling now?”
“I feel tingly and lightheaded. And cold.”
“Cold?”
“I kinda freaked out in the shower and stayed in it until the hot water ran out.”
I hear her chuckle on the other end, which causes me to chuckle too. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t mean to laugh, but you have to admit it sounds kind of funny.”
“It does.” I sigh. “I’m sorry I-I just lost my shit. And the worst part is I don’t even know why.”
“You don’t know what brought this on?”
“Not exactly, I woke up from a dream, and it wasn’t Mel. At least, I don’t think it was Mel. But I don’t remember it and then I started feeling…” I whisper under my breath. “Dammit. I’m sorry.”
“Why? Why are you sorry?”
“Because I’m not strong enough for this.”
“Stop it. Ty. You are strong enough, but you will be living with this for the rest of your life no matter what. No one can take your past from you and you are always going to have that memory and guilt. There’s nothing none of us can say to make it better. I wish I had the cure. I wish I could fix it so you didn’t have to deal with this anymore. But I don’t. And since I’m with you, I have to be here for you.” She takes a breath and I hear her shuffling around. She’s most likely shifting in the bed, finding a more comfortable position. “I’m here for you, Ty. But you need to let me in, and if I’m not there you need to find your calm. You need to see a doctor.”
I consider her words, and although I appreciate them, the fact that she wants me to see someone, hurts. It stings like a slap to the face, and the realization strikes me that her words are true. I should have seen a doctor a long time ago. I should have had the closure a long time ago. But I didn’t and now I have to deal with this pain and the memories forever. I’m still a teenage girl, and I’m so done with feeling like this. Maybe when we come back from Salt Lake City, I will talk to the doctor here in town.
“You going to be okay, Ty?”
“I will be. I don’t even know why I called you. There’s nothing you could do for me from there.” I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair.
“You called because you knew I would support you. I’ll be home in two days and we can get ready to go on our road trip.”
“Sounds good, Riley.”
“Call me again if you need anything. I know it’s a tough thing to do, but you need to talk about this. You need to allow yourself to ask for help.”
“I know. Thanks. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Two days.” I can hear her smile on the other end of the line. “Two days, and you won’t be getting rid of me for a couple of
weeks.”
“Only a couple of weeks?” I pout.
“Yeah. But as soon as this house here is done, you won’t be getting rid of me for a while. I’ll be a permanent resident there, and I can’t wait.”
“It will be amazing.” I agree. “Just be safe okay? Call me when you’re leaving and no texting and driving.” I warn. I’m still shaken and unfortunately I know it comes across as wussy.
“I will, I promise,” she responds. “Talk to you later, baby.”
“Bye, Ri.” We disconnect the call, and I sit up wondering what I should be doing now. I decide to get dressed and head over to Sue’s early to take care of those shutters. Pulling my pants on, I stand and look around for my work shirt. Once I find it, I pull it over my shoulders and button it.
I turn on the coffee pot while I toast a bagel to eat on the road. I know I can eat lunch at Sues and there’s a good chance she will refuse to allow me to pay for my pizza, and that’s okay by me.
I fill my thermos and butter my breakfast, taking a big bite. I slide my phone and wallet into my pants and head out the door to my job for the day. Climbing into my truck, I throw it into reverse and pull onto the street. The roads are very quiet this time of day, living in a small town there’s no rush to get to work before traffic begins. I am the traffic right now, and I love it. I can roll down my window and smell the dawn as it welcomes me and the only thing I hear are the birds greeting the day.
I hold my hand out of the window and allow the breeze to guide my hand up and down, like it’s flying. I do this until I reach Sues. Pulling up out front, I back into the stall so I can access the materials easier.
Her shutters are about thirty years old and are in drastic need of revamping. We’ve decided to do all the windows on the building. I can see this being a two day job, easy. Lugging my sawhorses out of the back, I set them up in the stall next to me, followed by the pieces of wood that I will need to make these. Attaching the slat of wood to the saw horse with vice grips, I begin to measure and cut. Measuring twice and cutting once, Dad taught me that when I was younger, and I still do it today.