by Maaja Wentz
Tonya’s breathing was getting ragged. She had shin splints and a stitch in her side. Practicing dives all summer hadn’t prepared her for running, but she’d done okay. She’d gotten away, and that was what mattered.
TIED UP AND LOCKED OUT
Avoiding the cafeteria entrance, Tonya entered the lobby, her stomach growling loudly. She pressed the shiny brown elevator call button. Was it just her, or did the elevator buttons looked like Smarties? Or chocolate M&Ms . . . Her mind drifted to her roommate’s stash of Halloween chocolate. How pathetic. She should have stayed with the Ninjas. She could be eating hot pizza with interesting company, but what did she do? She retreated to nibble salad in her room, and fantasize about chocolate.
She was on the verge of going back to the pub when the elevator arrived. On autopilot, she got in and got off at her floor.
The door was locked, which was unusual this time of night. Typically, her roommate left it open so her many friends could wander in and out. Tonya seldom enjoyed a quiet moment in what was supposed to be her home. When there weren’t guests laughing and talking, and ignoring Tonya, Lynette would blare obnoxious Top 40 songs. Did she even like them? Tonya figured Lynette used music like hunters use duck decoys, electro pop quacking attracted drakes to her pond.
Tonya got out her keys but hesitated. The best thing about Lynette was that she went out a lot but if the room was quiet she might have company. Tonya didn’t want to walk in on Lynette and her boyfriend Roberto. She put her ear to the door and listened. Nothing.
She hesitated. If her parents hadn’t sold the house so fast, Tonya could have moved back home. They were the ones who had talked her into an expensive dorm room.
“You’ll make friends if you live on campus,” said Mom.
“Everybody lives in residence their first year,” said Dad.
Tonya opened the door.
At first, she didn’t know what she was seeing. It seemed too impossible. Lynette was seated at her desk, hands tied together with a handkerchief.
“Lynette, you okay?” Tonya rushed over and started untying her.
“Leave me alone. I have to stay this way, until the craving passes.”
“Who did this to you?”
“Relax. I did it myself.”
“What? Why?”
“I ate all my Halloween candy.”
“So?”
“And all three boxes of your cereal, and I was about to eat your crappy granola bars, so I used my teeth and tied up my hands.”
“So you wouldn’t steal a few granola bars?”
“Plus your miso soup powder. How messed up is that?”
It was a relief that Lynette hadn’t eaten all her food, but having that thought made her feel guilty. Lynette was hurting.
“Don’t punish yourself for wanting to eat. Hunger is normal. Starving yourself isn’t.” Tonya untied the handkerchief and put her hand on her skinny roommate’s shoulder. “Come with me to the medical center tomorrow? I think you need help.”
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m fine. I don’t starve myself. If I want to eat dinner or a piece of cake or something, I eat it, okay?”
“Except today. Admit this was not healthy behavior.”
“Sure. Whatever.”
Tonya stood there, not knowing what to do.
“The urge has passed, finally.” Lynette shook her head. “I can’t believe I wanted to eat your cheap-ass granola bars.”
Tonya heard the words, but she could also see a bit of drool forming at the corner of Lynette’s mouth. Her roommate’s eyes seemed unnaturally glossy, and she wasn’t looking at Tonya. She was ogling the miso soup mix and granola bars still on the shelf.
Salad could wait. Lynette’s obsession was making her crave something sweet. Tonya turned and grabbed a granola bar and gobbled it down.
“Hey, you aren’t going to eat in front of me, are you?”
“Sorry.” She offered Lynette a chocolate chip bar, which she gobbled in two bites. Tonya puzzled over what made Lynette do what she did, but she wasn’t jealous of her anymore. This fashionable sorority girl with the athletic boyfriend only appeared to lead a perfect life. Her compulsive eating, which she had hidden from Tonya, must mean she was unhappy. Didn’t it?
No. Just because a person was full-figured didn’t mean she was an emotional eater, and just because she was skinny, didn’t mean she had a healthy attitude to food. A chubby child who grew into a fat teen, Tonya was starting to break old habits and find healthier ways to manage her mood than by eating. When she felt down, cravings for sweets and chips still flared up, but they were more manageable.
Now, Lynette didn’t seem so different. She needed to be looked after and cheered up. Tonya switched on campus radio to lighten the mood.
Lynette sat on the bed, for once enjoying tunes that weren’t so plastic pop repetitive.
“You know, you’re not all bad.” Lynette leaned back on her elbows.
Tonya sat beside her. “Hey, sometime do you want to go to the Hub together? You can introduce me to your friends?”
“Would you like that?”
“Sure.” What Tonya really wanted was for them to stop treating her like wallpaper when they came into her room.
“Why not? But not in that outfit.” Lynette pointed to a box of almond crunch granola bars on Tonya’s shelf. “You’re not saving those, are you?”
“You should get tested for tapeworm.”
“Stop overreacting.”
Tonya handed one over and took a bar for herself. By the time they finished the bars, Tonya’s eyelids were heavy. She drifted to her side of the room and lay down.
Lynette stretched out on her bed.
“What is happening to us today?” Tonya asked.
“I thought you were finished nagging about food.”
“I am but it’s good to talk, you know?”
“Like real roommates.”
“Exactly. So, how is Roberto?” Tonya used a teasing tone.
“Who wants to know? Grumpy-Lights-Out-Be-Quiet Tonya, or my new roommate who actually smiles and talks?”
“Hey, I’m sorry, I just can’t handle too much noise, and people. Don’t you ever need to be alone?”
“I hate being alone, except being alone with Roberto . . .” She sighed.
“Oh my god. You are so obsessed.” Tonya held up an invisible microphone. “Your fans need to know. Has this social butterfly fallen in love?”
Lynette laughed. “Yes, and I’ll spill the details, but first I need a disco nap. Why don’t you turn off that infernal indie music?”
“With pleasure.” Tonya switched it off and pulled out a paperback, eager to enjoy the quiet. She switched on her reading lamp and was well into the book before soft snoring announced Lynette’s arrival in dreamland.
Almost twenty minutes later, Lynette sat up with a start. Tonya watched her examine the bedspread littered with chocolate wrappers. Lynette’s expression changed from soft and sleepy to surprised. “You ate all my Halloween candy!”
“You ate it before I got here, before you tied up your hands.”
“Tied my hands? What are you talking about? I’ve been trying on clothes all afternoon, to pick a costume for Saturday.”
“How do you explain the candy wrappers?”
Lynette looked around until her gaze settled on the wrappers. “What the . . . You ate all my chocolate bars!” She acted like she’d gone senile at eighteen.
“I didn’t.” What was wrong with this girl?
The accusing look on Lynette’s face didn’t soften. “You could have at least tidied the mess you made!”
“I never ate your candy!”
“Liar, but who cares. I have a life, unlike some people. And I have Roberto.” She pulled out her phone and started texting.
“Are you pranking me?”
“Go away Tonya. I’m on the phone.”
“I don’t get it. The computer was supposed to match me up with someone compatible. I’m serious.
You don’t care about marks. You like loud music. I like ballads. I’m studying literature. You never read a book. We must be complete opposites. How did the computer give me you?”
Lynette kept texting, eyes on the screen. “Easy. On my profile, I said I needed to live with someone quiet.”
“But you’re not quiet.”
“No, but you are, most of the time. Stop bugging me.”
Tonya felt like grabbing the phone and throwing it out the window. Tonya was sure she hadn’t specified selfish ass when she entered her roommate preferences. At least Lynette was quiet when she was texting. Tonya didn’t think she’d ever seen her concentrate this long.
Like the movement of the sun across the sky, at first you didn’t notice the change until it hit the right object and made it glow. A glow like the one lighting up Lynette’s face from within. What was making her roommate so happy? She moved a little closer to sneak a peek, but Lynette started jumping up and down.
“He’s coming! Okay Roomy, let’s make this place shine.” She cranked up her peppiest playlist and shot Tonya the open-faced smile of a child, so sweet she was almost forgiven.
It was love alright. Tonya shook her head. Roberto was so handsome, she almost didn’t blame her.
As they cleaned up candy wrappers to the beat of Lynette’s top ten playlist, Lynette still didn’t remember her recent eating bout.
Roberto arrived. Lynette sang out “Salsa time!” and switched to something fast and Latin. Unfortunately, they skipped the salsa and started dirty dancing as if Tonya weren’t there. Tonya sighed. Glasnost was over. Lynette was definitely back to ignoring her.
“Hey,” Roberto said to Tonya. “Why don’t you go to the movies?” He had his wallet open and was offering her a fifty-dollar bill.
“I don’t want your money. It’s eleven-thirty and I want to sleep in my own bed. I have early classes tomorrow. Couldn’t you two get a motel room?”
“You see what I have to put up with?” Lynette fake-pouted at him.
“Shhh.” Roberto kissed her quiet.
Tonya picked up the paperback and lay on her bed facing the wall. She put on her noise-canceling headphones, but they couldn’t compete with Lynette’s speakers. She read the same sentence over and over. Sometimes, the wild dancing caused them to crash into the wall and explode into giggles, or to land on the bed with a chorus of squeaky springs. Tonya gave up trying to read and stared at the ceiling, annoyed but too tired to fight. She rolled over, considering going to the Don to complain when, out of the corner of her eye, Tonya accidentally saw Roberto slide his hands under Lynette’s shirt.
Enough! Tonya got up, took her book, and stalked off to the common room. She couldn’t decide which was worse, Lynette’s blind adoration, or Roberto’s complete disregard for her privacy. She hoped Lynette would have the decency to come and get her when they went out.
The common room bisected two wings of the dorm. Men in one corridor and women in the other. As Tonya walked toward it, she felt an unusual tremor in the floor. Maybe somebody’s bass was turned up too high. Thursday was a party night because so many students went home on weekends. Why had the computer slotted her into a course at 8:30 Friday mornings? In a just world, it would have assigned Lynette to an early slot, so Tonya could be sleeping in her bed right now.
Tonya let out a sigh. The common room was empty, and the TV was off. She set an early alarm on her phone in case she slept through the night. As she settled onto the couch, Tonya decided she preferred the popular but snotty version of her roommate to this love-struck bunny. Before she met Roberto, Lynette wouldn’t have let her sleep either, because she would be flitting from room-to-room, chatting with friends until late. She was so irritatingly cheerful and liable to start dancing at the most annoying moments, but at least she didn’t kiss hot boys in front of Tonya.
Public displays of affection goaded Tonya who had never had a boyfriend. Aunt Helen had made sure of it. As soon as any boy showed a flicker of interest, Aunt Helen would use her persuasive powers to repel him. Tonya had tried to confront her but, of course, she denied it.
Tonya snuggled her head into the couch pillows and hoped to be left alone. It was normal to see students visiting each other’s rooms on a Thursday night. As usual, music played out of open bedrooms, and there was laughter, rowdy conversation, and the occasional thump. But underneath the ordinary, something felt off.
Have you ever stood in an empty room, aware something was irritating you, but unable to figure out what it was until you realized the radio was playing, barely audible?
Tonya glanced around the room, searching for the source of her unease. The TV was off, but she got up from the couch and checked to make sure. Something invisible was grinding on her nerves but it wasn’t noise. What she was feeling came to her through senses her Pure faction parents had forbidden. She put a hand to her forehead, wondering if magic could cause a fever. Her head ached but it was probably just the stress of her roommate drama. Tonya lay on the couch and shivered, wishing for a blanket.
Just what she needed now, to get sick. She couldn’t even get her thermometer because it was in the room with the lovebirds. Besides, this odd sensation didn’t feel like disease. She tossed for an hour, trying to ignore her suspicions. Something here felt like magic. If only Aunt Helen were there. She would know.
Her father was a Mundane, unable to sense or use magic. Her mother was a Pure, sworn to live magic-free. Tonya was supposed to be safe from magic on campus. Like Loon Lake City, the university was considered neutral territory to the Old Families. An economic and cultural hub, they had made a pact not to spoil it with their feuds.
The university was the safest place for the daughter of a Pure family. On that Aunt Helen and her parents agreed. There was no occult energy pulsing here. Nothing was wrong. She was tired and imagining things. Tonya would feel better in the morning.
She took off her sweater, draped it over her head and shoulders and tried to think of soothing things, like lying in bed listening to rain on the roof of her old attic bedroom, or the reflection of the moon setting over Loon Lake.
FRIES WITH THAT?
The next day, Tonya sat in a packed lecture hall. Professor Rudolph was Tonya’s favorite, ever since he’d invited his students to go for a drink, after their first class. His humorous rants against the “narrow, cabbage-eating island,” he emigrated from also endeared him to Tonya. She had grown up in the shadow of Toronto, a “world class city,” according to self-important Torontonians. Compare that to an Englishman who’d left legendary London and moved to Loon Lake by choice. Professor Rudolph not only knew history, but he shared Tonya’s excellent taste in geography.
As he paced back and forth lecturing, his stomach protruded over his waistband like a wobbly shelf. While he was teaching, Tonya didn’t normally notice his weight. She was too busy taking notes or looking up his erudite references on her phone. But eating and weight had become major preoccupations since she’d started dieting this past summer. Seeing the way his hips strained his pants, Tonya could see he’d gotten heavier since orientation in September.
Rudolph’s lectures unraveled the complicated causes behind historical movements. Today, he was asking students what utopia meant, but Tonya was having trouble following the discussion. Priya kept pinging her phone with panicky texts. The art installation depended on cameras and lighting, but the Digital Ninjas had changed their minds about loaning her equipment overnight.
Tonya texted back: What’s wrong?
Priya responded: Paranoia their cameras will get stolen.
Professor Rudolph ducked behind his lectern to grab something. Without pausing in his citation from The Communist Manifesto, Doctor Rudolph lifted a giant fistful of fries and shoved them into his mouth.
With a bundle of fries protruding, his face looked like he’d sprouted a deep-fried anemone. Poor man. Since September there had been whispers before class about his wife dying that spring. Some students were outraged that he posted excu
ses on his door and skipped office hours. Tonya agreed that it was unfortunate for the students, but the Professor had lost his wife. He needed time to grieve, although the fry thing was strange, even for an academic.
Her phone vibrated again but Tonya turned it off. Professor Rudolph’s mouth was empty again and he was talking about Sir Thomas More’s Utopia. From what Tonya understood, communal living under More’s rules would afford her no privacy, no personal possessions, and very few rights, but it would be much easier than living with Lynette.
Outside the lecture hall, Priya was waiting. “Why weren’t you answering my texts? This is a disaster!”
“Halloween isn’t till the weekend. You have time to figure this out. C’mon, I’ll skip my afternoon class and help you find materials.”
Priya raised an eyebrow. “Okay. First we have to steal some lights.”
When she saw Tonya’s reaction she patted her shoulder. “Kidding. OK, Ms. Goody-Goody, let’s check the hardware store.”
A FEW HOURS LATER, Priya and Tonya were in the forested southern end of Loon Lake Cemetery, scouting sites for the installation. In town maps, Tonya thought the cemetery looked like a T-bone steak or a bull’s head. The broadest section was the top, which ran in an almost straight line along the southern shore of the lake. The sides of the bull’s face tapered gently to the rounded muzzle at the southern tip, where the oldest section of the cemetery stood. Just left of the center, stood an abandoned chapel at a crossroads of four paved pathways, large enough for cars. The grounds were also crisscrossed by smaller paths between the treed sections of the cemetery, each with its own era and flavor. There were a couple of pine-topped hills on the otherwise flat grounds, a round one to the south, and a lozenge-shaped one that ran down into the water to the north. Excluding the shoreline, the rest of the grounds were bordered by a tall, wrought iron fence. “To keep the living out or the dead in?” her father used to joke.