For now, I’d have to see Karyn.
“Hi hon. What took you so long?” Karyn asked sitting with her high heels crossed over my desk, clutching her usual venti non-fat two-pump vanilla latte. She handed me a now cold tall coffee.
I lied. “I had a meeting with a potential client outside of the city.”
“Anyone good?” She batted her eyelashes and twisted her straight blonde hair into a bun.
God, yes, someone good, I thought.
“Yes, this one might have a lot of potential.” I immediately pictured Allison and lost all attention to what Karyn said in response. Allison was simply gorgeous and my girlfriend’s looks paled in comparison.
I thought about Allison’s features: small nose, full lips and straight long beautiful dark hair that landed in the middle of her back. She could easily pass for a model, except for her shorter height. And I mentioned her eyes…her eyes. They were unusually huge…a light green with speckles of gold. There was something about those same eyes though that made me sad, sensing something in them that told me her life hasn’t been easy as of late. I couldn’t take my eyes of them, though. I did just long enough to glance down at that tight uniform that had her name stitched on the front of her perky breasts.
Karyn interrupted me from my stupor. “Where do you want to go eat tonight…Sonsie?” She winked sarcastically. She knew I hated going to those fancy places on Newbury Street. I was much more a takeout and Netflix kind of guy. Plus, I spent most afternoons wining and dining clients at frou-frou restaurants.
“Actually, I am thinking we should stay in tonight, I had a long day,” I said.
I was emotionally exhausted from the experience at the diner and wished I could just be alone tonight.
“Ok, whatever,” Karyn hissed, walking over to me to sit on my lap. Running her fingers through my hair, she asked, “Any word from WANY in New York? Didn’t you send my demo reel there last week?”
“Karyn, do you know how many agents are trying to get their clients that anchor gig? Believe me, if they are interested, we’ll hear from them. Personally, I think it’s a long shot for you. You have no desk experience, just street reporting. I think they are looking for more of a bubbly type; it’s a morning show gig and babe…bubbly you are not.”
Karyn frowned, “Well, I want you to push for me anyway.”
Karyn was the I-team reporter for one of the Boston stations. While she was pretty, her tone on-air was serious and it pained her to smile. Not my usual type, she can be brass and cold, but deep down, I like to believe she is a good person. She came from a wealthy family in Darien, Connecticut and got her start based on the fact that her mother was a big broadcasting exec in New York. Her father was a brain surgeon and Karyn wanted for nothing growing up, having gone to private schools and private resorts her whole life…nothing like my childhood.
Dating Karyn was convenient, though. She understood the industry and the demands of my job and she was available and attractive. She never seemed jealous when I worked closely with young attractive wannabe TV stars, coaching them. Best of all, she didn’t push me to open up emotionally, something I haven’t done in years with a woman. Karyn didn’t seem to expect much, except keeping up appearances and sex. I was happy to oblige on the latter, but after a while with Karyn, the sex had become ordinary, without the chemistry that existed in the first months of dating. It was still good, just vanilla (like her predictable latte).
***
That night, Karyn and I got Thai food from the place on the corner of my street and later, she left to sleep at her apartment on the other side of Boston. She had to wake up early to work the morning show and introduce her exclusive investigative report on the rise in Chinatown massage parlors being used as fronts for prostitution. Just as well. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts tonight.
It was bad enough that the entire time Karyn was going down on me, Allison was the only thing I could think about. How pathetic that I imagined it was her instead of Karyn and that it was the only way I could finish.
As I lay in bed, the moonlight was exquisite. Beacon Street was quieter than usual and that helped, because I had a lot on my mind tonight, namely deciding whether I would venture back to that diner ever again once I calmed down and whether I would open the can of worms that would emerge from that. I had to come up with a story if I were ever going to show my face again there. I reached for my iPod and immediately searched for my smooth jazz play list, putting on some Diana Krall. I looked up at the ceiling, thinking about the woman who mesmerized me at the diner today, wishing I could have met her under different circumstances and knowing that the truth would turn her world upside down.
CHAPTER 3
ALLISON
The train ride back to my apartment in Malden seemed to go by in a flash tonight. Maybe it was all the fantasizing about Blue Eyes and his fifty-dollar bill. And of course, the number fifty leads to thoughts of the book I just read…which leads to thoughts of bondage and billionaires. That guy certainly could pass for a real-life Christian Grey. Heck, he was better looking than the man I imagined when reading that delicious smut.
I blame my roommate Sonia for introducing me to my favorite pastime and escape: erotic romance novels. She knows I need a distraction from the year I have had. Even a scandalous book could not keep my interest right now, though.
My mind was all over the place as the train went underground and the darkness of the tunnel matched my depressive state.
Thinking about him almost made me miss my stop. What is wrong with me? So, a good-looking guy comes into the diner, leaves a big tip and walks out. Why can’t I stop thinking about him? Maybe Sonia can analyze this for me.
My roommate was nothing like me. She was from England, short with red hair, huge boobs and a fabulous personality. I, on the other hand, was thin, with long nearly black hair, average breasts and tended to be melancholy most of the time…at least lately. Sonia was a good balance for me.
I arrived back to my apartment eager to tell her what happened.
“Hey, Sonia,” I said as I walked in the door and threw my keys on the table.
“Sup, bitch,” Sonia said.
She had the coolest British accent and ‘bitch’ was her term of endearment for me.
“Ugh…where do I even begin?” I sighed.
“Why…what happened?” Sonia opened a bottle of, ironically, Bitch brand wine and took out two stemless glasses from the cupboard. Our kitchen was retro, with big black and white checkered laminate flooring and yellow painted cabinets. The apartment was dated, but the retro style could almost pass for hip. Between the bright sunny kitchen and old-fashioned dark wood moldings and built-in shelving, I loved our apartment.
“You are never going to believe what happened to me today,” I said as I sat down and grabbed one of the glasses she poured. “Okay, so I am in the diner and the most beautiful man I have literally ever seen walks in—”
“Damn…why wasn’t I on shift? What did he look like?” Sonia asked as her eyes widened. She also worked at the diner part-time.
“Just…I don’t know…beautiful….tall, blue eyes, sexy hair…the whole nine…let me finish.”
Sonia nodded gulping down half her glass of red.
“This guy was staring at me for some reason. When I pretended to be busy, I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was still following me. When I gave him his order, he barely said anything, just smiled and continued to look at me with these intense eyes.”
“Okay,” Sonia said as she poured more wine.
“The staring continued for a while and then I went into the kitchen and when I came out, he was abruptly booking it out of there. He didn’t even finish his bagel.” I took a sip of wine, hoping for a quick buzz to calm my nerves.
“Hmn.” She poured me some more wine, even though I had barely had any yet. It’s clear that this is becoming a “you had to be there” kind of story, since Sonia clearly wasn’t seeing the significance.
“T
here’s more. When I went to clean up his table and collect the money, there was a fifty-dollar bill. His check was only like five-bucks and he left me a fifty!”
“Wow.” Sonia’s eyes lit up.
“Yeah. I don’t know. I guess this kind of thing happens, but never to me. I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about him. If he wasn’t so damn good looking, I might have just stopped by now, but he was…so…ugh…” I sighed.
Sonia finished her wine and moved into the living room lying down on the couch. “Why is it so inconceivable that a handsome guy would walk into the diner, take one look at you and want to leave you a nice tip? You’re gorgeous, luv. You know these encounters happen all of the time in the books we read.”
Sonia adjusted her bra and took another sip of wine. God, her boobs were huge. The poor thing could barely stand up without tipping over. She was under five feet, which made the whole situation that much worse. Sometimes, I couldn’t tell if she was tipsy from the wine or if her chest was defying gravity. I certainly didn’t have that problem.
“It’s not about the tip, Sonia…that only added to the mystery. What I can’t get over is the way I reacted when he was around, like a silly schoolgirl. My body was so aware of him. My uniform practically melted off of me.” I said.
Sonia smiled, “Hmn…I think you just need to get some. Well, maybe he’ll come into the diner again and you can find out more about him.”
“I don’t think so. He didn’t strike me as someone who would frequent Stardust. Trust me, if he comes in again, I will just about die.”
Sonia paused and looked down at the floor, then abruptly changed the subject. “I wasn’t sure whether to tell you this, but I saw Nate today.”
“What? Where?” I asked, freaking out.
“He was coming off the Red Line when I was getting on at Alewife.” She stared at me looking for my reaction.
Nate and I dated for almost a year and broke up three months ago. I met him on the train back when I was commuting to Simmons College. At first, I thought he was the most handsome, sensitive, artistic guy I had ever met. You could tell Nate anything and he genuinely listened. Being with Nate was so easy…during the early days. I hadn’t been used to guys that had feelings and who seemed genuinely interested in what I had to offer on the inside. We had a great first few months and in many ways, he really introduced me to Boston, even though I had grown up here, showing me all of the museums and taking me to concerts. Nate taught guitar at Berkeley College of Music. We had bonded over the fact that we were both adopted. Eventually, we moved in together in an apartment near Fenway Park. It was during that time, I discovered Nate was an alcoholic. The sensitive guy I met slowly shown himself as someone I felt I didn’t know anymore. He was very good at hiding it from me in the beginning, but eventually wasn’t able to.
“What did he say to you?” I asked.
Sonia never knew Nate when we were dating, since I met her after we broke up, but she encountered him the couple of times he came to the apartment looking for me when I wasn’t home. He had somehow gotten my new address here.
“He just said to tell you to call him.” Sonia handed me a card Nate had given her. It was a new cell number on a Berkeley College of Music business card.
I stared at the card. “Hmn. Did he seem ok?”
“Yeah, I mean, he looked fine, just a little sad, maybe. He also said to tell you he was sorry about how everything turned out.” Sonia frowned.
“Well, I think it’s best to leave well enough alone don’t you?” I asked.
“Yes, I do. I never want you to have to go through that again.” Sonia didn’t say it, but we both knew what she meant.
One night when Nate was particularly hammered, he came home saw two empty wine glasses and accused me of having an affair with my friend Danny. Danny is gay, but Nate always insisted that he looked at me like he was interested, or that he could be bi, saying that Danny was pretending to be gay just to be close to me. Danny and I did spend a lot of time together, enough for me to know he was definitely gay. When I continued to deny Nate’s accusations that night, he hit me so hard across the cheek that I had a bruise that lasted over a month. That was finally the straw that broke the camel’s back and I moved out a week later, staying with various friends, including Danny, until I found a place and met Sonia, who also helped me get the job at Max’s since she worked there part-time while going to nursing school.
Working at a diner was certainly not how I pictured my life at almost thirty. But I was lucky to have a good group of friends there and a place to bide my time while I figured out the next step. I have no real family guidance anymore and so my friends, like Sonia and Danny, were very important to me.
My mother Margo Abraham adopted me as a baby, but died of cancer a little over a year ago. Mom never married, but didn’t want to miss out on having a child, so she visited an adoption agency when she was forty-two years old and after a three-year wait, was finally blessed with a newborn baby girl. She was my whole life and aside from her sister, my Aunt Reeni who lives in New York, I am virtually alone.
Thankfully, Mom had saved a lot of money over the years. She did well working for the city in the Mayor’s office so I have a little nest egg that I am reluctant to dive into and was even more reluctant to waste away on an expensive college so soon. I had a liberal arts degree from a small community college and wasted many years after high school and college working odd jobs, until I decided on special education as a career. But after Mom’s death, I decided until I could save enough money of my own and focus on my studies, finishing grad school was not going to be happening in the near future.
“Are we going out tonight?” Sonia asked. She was antsy and went out practically every night, even if just out for coffee in the North End. I was a homebody and happy to stay home and watch movies most evenings.
“What did you have in mind?” I asked, knowing full well, I would probably stay home anyway.
“I was thinking of calling Tom and seeing if he wanted to meet up with us somewhere, maybe get some cannolis at Mike’s Pastry. They are divine.” Sonia loved sweets and Tom was a guy she was crushing on lately. He lives in the neighborhood and they met while he was walking his dog and she was taking out the garbage. They exchanged numbers and met for coffee once so far.
“You should go, but I think I’ll just stay in.” I said pulling off my beige Ugg boots.
“Suit yourself, babe. You are not gonna call Nate while I am gone, are you?” Sonia lifted her brow at me.
“Of course not.” The truth was, I wasn’t so sure about that. I had no intention of getting back with him, but I was curious as to how he was doing. He was pretty devastated when I moved out and called me every day for two weeks. I know what he did was unforgivable, but I also know that had he not been drunk, it wouldn’t have happened. Nate had never laid a hand on me sober. I just didn’t like the way I ended things, essentially abandoning him and I do struggle with that guilt.
“Alright, I am gonna shower,” Sonia said as she walked out.
I crashed on the oversized green sofa, closing my eyes, thinking about Blue Eyes and the smell of his cologne. I wonder who he is, what his name is and what he is doing right now, as I drifted to sleep.
CHAPTER 4
CEDRIC
The rest of the week after Monday’s diner incident went by in a flash.
After just returning from a quick business trip to the New York office, I met Karyn for dinner on Friday night. The Italian restaurant she chose was dark and noisy and I just wanted to get the hell out and go home.
“You seem distant tonight. Everything okay?” Karyn asked me, straightening her napkin as she perused the drink menu.
“It’s just been a busy week, babe. Everything is fine.” The truth was the need to see Allison again was consuming me and only got worse as the days passed.
“What do you want to do this weekend?” Karyn said before she was interrupted by the waitress who came to take our drink orde
r.
“I’ll have a margarita. Cedric?”
“Um…Sam Adams on draft. Thanks.” I was hoping the beer would take the edge of this anxious feeling I have had all week but I probably could have benefited from something a hell of a lot stronger.
“So, what do you want to do this weekend?” Karyn repeated.
“I was hoping you had that mapped out. I am not feeling very decisive tonight.” I said, throwing the menu down.
“Actually, I was hoping we could drive out to Brimfield for the antique fair. I hear great things. It’s only about an hour and a half away.” She beamed.
“Hmn. Ok, sounds good.” Really, I had no use for antiquing, but it might do some good to get out of the city, clear my head and decide what my next move was going to be as far as Allison was concerned.
***
Saturday’s scenic drive out to Brimfield was pleasant enough. Brimfield is a rural town in the Western part of Massachusetts and it took about two hours to get there. It was a crisp fall day and perfect weather if you had to endure trolling around for other people’s mostly useless shit.
“Look at this pashmina!” Karyn squealed as she lifted up a hideous pink piece of fabric.
She took out her wad of cash and paid for the scarf that ‘she just had to have’ along with about twenty other items I lugged around in an uncomfortably feminine Vera Bradley tote while she ran ahead of me to the various vendors.
Oh, yeah, I felt real fucking manly today.
At one point I lost her and found myself in a tent run by a woman who looked to be in her eighties selling silver and gold rings and necklaces.
The woman approached me. “Can I help you find something for that special lady?” she asked.
“Oh, no thank you. My girlfriend has a mind of her own,” I said rolling my eyes.
The lady ignored me, reaching for something in her stash. “How about this? She lifted out of the clear glass case a silver butterfly on a rope chain that was actually pretty cool looking. The center of the butterfly was encrusted with what looked like diamonds.
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