by B. B. Hamel
John shook his head. “Heard this before, Derek.”
“He’s right, we’ve heard this before.” I wanted Derek to pull himself together, get clean, but we’d played this scene out a hundred times already.
“I know guys, I know. I can’t do anything about that right now. But I’m gonna try, best I can, to make it right. I gotta go back soon, but I wanted to say that. And to ask for forgiveness.”
John and I stayed silent for a minute. Derek stared down at his shoes.
“I forgive you,” John said quietly. I looked over and there were tears in his eyes.
“I do too, Derek. I want what’s best for you,” I said.
Derek smiled sadly, and pulled us both into a hug. We stayed like that for a minute, before moving away.
“Alright guys,” Derek said, and stood up. “Time for me to get out of here.”
“Good luck. Call me soon,” I said.
“Yeah, same here.” John nodded.
Derek nodded back, then headed off toward his crappy old Altima.
I had no idea whether or not rehab would stick this time, if Derek really was ready to get his life on track, but I wanted him to try, and I missed my younger brother. I knew John missed him too. We watched him climb into his car and drive off.
“Enough for one day?” John said as Derek pulled onto the main road and drove off.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
We climbed into the cab of his truck together, and drove back toward our childhood home. We didn’t say much, and the weight of the day was thick between us. We had just buried our father, but we had said the important things already, and now I was ready to start moving on. I thought about Shane, back in the city, doing whatever he was doing, and I hoped he wasn’t too upset. My entire body ached to message him, and I realized it was time to try and get in touch. I pulled my phone out and wrote him a text.
I’m sorry I’ve been silent for the past few days. I miss you. We need to talk soon. I’ll be back in the city tomorrow, if you have time to meet.
I hit send, and looked out the window. Trees and winding roads went by as we moved back toward Levittown. A minute later, my phone buzzed.
Think we can chat sooner than that? I didn’t know how we could, but his positive response brought a smiled to my face.
I can call you later, if that’s what you mean. I hit send. We were a few minutes from home, and the houses all started to look the same as we entered Levittown’s perimeter.
Not exactly what I mean. That was a weird text, but I ignored it and figured he’d explain himself eventually. As we pulled onto the street, I recognized a black car sitting out front of the house.
“Who’s that?” John asked, pulling into the driveway.
I had no idea how to answer. That’s Shane Green, CEO and billionaire, and my sortof-boyfriend.
“I think that’s for me,” I said lamely.
John shut the car off and looked at me. “Alright, that’s cool. Who is it?”
“Uh, I’m not sure.”
He looked at me like I was insane. “Are you joking?”
“Look, this is weird, but just go with it, okay?”
He let out a sigh. “Fine, I don’t have the energy to fight you on this.”
We climbed out of the car, and I moved toward Shane. I looked back at John. “I’ll be inside soon.”
He nodded. “I’ll be right in there if you need me.”
As John pulled open the front door, Shane stepped out of the back seat of his car. John looked back, and Shane waved. John gave him a nod, and then went inside.
My breath caught in my throat. Shane was more beautiful than I remembered, and his square jaw and flint blue eyes, his perfectly fitting suit and chiseled body all struck me as if I were seeing him for the first time. I couldn’t believe he was there. He moved toward me, hands in his pockets, and piercing, engaged look on his face. He stopped within a few steps of me.
“Hi Amy, I’m sorry to drop by like this.”
“How did you know where to find me?”
“Darcy told me.”
That made sense. I wasn’t sure how they got in contact though.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said, unsure how to go forward.
He shook his head. “Enough apologies. The only thing I’m here to do is offer my support. I know this is extremely difficult for you. If there is anything I can do, anything you need taken care of, consider all of my resources at your disposal.”
I took a step closer to him, and could smell his body. I wanted to throw myself at him, wrap my arms around his chest and sob or laugh or both until I couldn’t breathe, but the memory of him and Janice filled me with fear and doubt.
“Are you and Janice together?” I blurted out. I couldn’t believe I said it that way, then of all times, but I had been holding that in for too long. Being so near him was too much, and I couldn’t control myself.
He looked shocked, then confused. His brow furrowed. “What do you mean, together?”
It all came out of me in a rush. I told him how I walked in on them, what they looked like, the rumor Linda told me about, admitted that she was probably better for him than I was, and I started to tell him that I could forgive him but he needed to be honest.
“Wait, Amy, please.” He raised his hands.
I stopped speaking immediately.
“Janice and I went to high school together,” he said slowly.
That surprised me. I didn’t realize they knew each other before working together.
“You guys are friends?”
Shane nodded. “She’s my oldest and closest friend. I thought she told you that?”
I shook my head. “No, she never said anything.”
“I’ve known her most of my life. When I started Adstringo, I brought her along as my assistant, but really she’s more like my business partner. We haven’t been as close personally in recent years. The pressure from the job started to drive us apart. But when she walked in on you and I in that compromising situation, we started to talk again. Whatever had grown strange between us started to come apart, and our friendship started all over again.”
I took a second to process all of that. “So you’re just friends?”
“Just friends. Old friends, and nothing more. Never anything more.”
I felt myself break down. Tears welled up in my eyes as I threw my arms around his broad chest. He wrapped himself around me, and I sobbed against him. The stress of the past few days, the death of my Dad, it all was building up inside of me, and my relief over this Janice situation flooded through me. I sobbed and he held me for what felt like an hour as my body was wracked with convulsions. It was the hardest and deepest cry I’d had since I first heard about my father, and as I slowly calmed down, I felt like I was leaving something behind.
“I’m sorry,” I sniffled against him.
“No more apologies,” he commanded.
I felt renewed in a way I didn’t think I could. In his arms, the world righted itself.
“I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
“I don’t blame you. I’ve been keeping things from you, and although I never lied to you, I should have been more honest.”
“I’ve kept something from you, too.”
I could feel him laugh a little. “I have to admit I’m surprised by that.”
“It’s nothing huge. I’ll tell you all about it.”
He moved me back to look into my eyes, and then kissed me. I knew I looked like a mess, but his lips and mouth and tongue buried into mine, and I didn’t care. After a few moments, he pulled away.
“I want to tell you everything now, Amy. I need you to know everything. I’m in love with you.”
I could feel my heart drop from my chest. My body felt light, and I thought I was going to pass out, but his strong arms kept me grounded. I was elated and broken all at once as his words washed over me. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment, and I knew that I loved him too, and always had. I loved him more
than I even know how to love. I needed him, I was greedy for him, for every inch of his form and his hands and his lips. I was greedy in love and wanted only to drown in it for the rest of my life.
“I love you too,” I said quietly, and we kissed again. His tongue and teeth and lips felt more a part of me than they ever had, and I kissed him deeply. We stayed like that for some time, and I felt the joy wash over and through me, cleaning me of whatever negative doubt and fear had lodged itself inside of me. We finally pulled away, looked into each other’s eyes, and laughed. We laughed at the absurdity of the world, at standing on a Levittown front lawn kissing, and we laughed because we were so happy. Finally, I gathered myself together as Shane released a long breath.
“Want to come inside?” I asked him.
“I absolutely do. Just let me tell the driver.” He moved off to talk to the driver, and I jogged up to our front door, threw it open, and went inside.
“John!” I yelled, but he was sitting on the couch a few feet away.
“What? Geez, I’m right here.” He stood up.
“Listen to me, Shane Green is here. He’s my boyfriend. You’re about to meet him. Then I want you to leave.”
He stared at me blankly for a second. “Shane Green? Like, the dude that owns Adstringo? Your boss?”
“Yes, my boss.”
“Is something wrong at work?”
“John. Listen. Idiot. He’s my boyfriend.”
Understanding bloomed across his face.
“And you want me to leave?” he asked.
“Yes!”
He grinned. “And why should I? I’m the man of this family now. I need to chaperone you kids.”
“I swear John, if you don’t leave, I will make you regret it forever.” I fumed at him and made my most intimidating face.
“Fine, fine, I’ll go out for a few hours.” Shane knocked at the door, and I gave John a ‘thank you’ look before pulling it open.
Shane walked in, and I felt like the room was filled with light. His eyes moved over the space, and I was taken all over again with his perfectly fitting suit, the simple black tie over his clean white shirt, only slightly smudged from my crying, and the intensity in the way he carried himself. John and Shane locked eyes, and then Shane smiled and walked toward him. They shook hands.
“Shane Green, nice to meet you.”
“John, Amy’s brother.”
Shane smiled bigger. “It’s really good to meet you.”
They dropped their hands. There was a short pause, and I was suddenly afraid things would be awkward.
“So Shane, what are your intentions for my sister?”
I stared at John and couldn’t believe he had said that. There was a silent beat, and I was terrified of how Shane would react. Before I could say anything, Shane started laughing. John joined in, and they clapped each other on the back, howling and hooting loudly. I had no clue what had just happened, and laughed nervously along with them.
John moved away from Shane and headed toward the door, still laughing. He looked back at me.
“This guy’s okay. I’ll see you two later,” he said.
“See you, John,” Shane said, and nodded, as their laughter died down.
“Bye John,” I said. John waved and walked out the door, chuckling to himself.
I looked at Shane. He was grinning and shaking his head. “What the hell was that?”
He shrugged. “Honestly, I think I passed his test.”
“That was bizarre.”
His gaze locked on mine, and all laughter was gone. There was an edge of something in his look.
“Want to show me around?” he asked.
I gestured around us. “Not much to it. Living room, kitchen over there, two bedrooms and a bathroom back that way, two more bedrooms upstairs.”
He gave me a sly smiled. “Where’s your room?”
“It’s upstairs, but you don’t want to see that. It’s covered in Backstreet Boys posters.”
He stepped close to me and grabbed my hips. I felt his warmth immediately, and felt him press himself against me.
“Show me your room,” he whispered.
I nodded quietly, powerless, and took him by the hand. I led him up the stairs, and back toward my childhood bedroom.
25.
We walked into my room, and he looked around with a grin. The carpet was yellow and the walls were yellow-green. My tiny twin bed stood in the center of the room, pushed back against one wall, with a small desk and a chair off to one side, and a dresser on the other. Backstreet Boys posters covered the remaining empty space.
Instead of the mocking jokes I expected, his eyes were locked on my body. I felt exposed and naked in front of him, even though I was still in my black dress.
“Stand by the bed,” he ordered me. I obeyed. He moved to stand by the desk.
“Take your dress off.” I stared at him for a second, but the powerful look on his face compelled me to listen. I reached back and unzipped then slid the dress forward and down. It pooled around my ankles.
His eyes raked up and down my body. He took off his jacket and placed it on the back of my chair as I stood there, completely exposed. I felt the excitement build as he looked at me.
“Take off your underwear,” he instructed. I obeyed, and took my bra off, then my panties. I dropped them on the floor next to my dress. My exposure was complete, and I watched him as his gaze slowly moved up my body, lingering on my soaking mound, and my full breasts. Goosebumps began to form on my skin from the chilly room, and I hugged myself loosely against the cold. I wanted him to warm me, but I wanted to find out what he had in store for me even more.
“Very good. Now, lay on the bed and touch yourself.”
His eyes were hungry, and he was unbuttoning his cuffs. I climbed onto the bed, and spread my legs open for him. He ran his eyes from my face, along my breasts, and his gaze lingered as I started to slowly rub myself. I had never done something like this before, but the simple way he stared at me was more exciting than anything I’d experienced before. He continued to unbutton his shirt, pulling it from his pants, and took it off. The combination of his beautifully sculpted body and his hungry, piercing gaze made me soaking wet, and my own fingers on my clit sent shivers of pleasure through me. I let out a small moan. His ripped muscles flexed as he continued to undress, watching me.
“Does that feel good?” he asked. He laid his shirt over his jacket and looked at me.
“Yes,” I said quietly, as pleasure filled me.
“Do you like that I’m watching you touch yourself?”
“Yes,” I whispered again. He started to unbuckle his belt, and waves of desire hit me. I was starving for him. It felt like I hadn’t touched him in years, and I needed his muscles pressed up against me. But the way he was making me touch myself while he watched and undressed was only heightening my arousal. I was soaked through and throbbing.
He undid his belt, and pulled his pants down. I could see the outline of his huge cock, hard and straining against his black cotton boxer briefs. He folded his pants and placed them on top of his shirt. I continued rubbing myself, my fingers soaking wet, and I let out small moans.
He moved over to the side of the bed and looked down at me.
“I want you to ask me nicely,” he instructed.
“Please,” I whispered.
“Not good enough.”
I let out a deep moan. “Please, I need your cock, I need your body,” I said more loudly.
He slid his underwear off, and his cock was a rock between us. I stopped rubbing myself and reached for him. I was starving for him, and took the tip into my mouth. I sucked him hard, and he let out a satisfied grunt.
“Good, now take as much as you can.”
I slid his cock into my mouth and throat and felt myself gag. I pulled back then pressed forward again, taking as much of him as I could. I tasted his juice and his body and I was starving for more. I needed every inch, and I reached up with my left hand to str
oke his shaft behind my lips. He reached his hands behind my head and grabbed onto my hair, and directed me along his shaft. I felt the wetness between my legs double as the pain of my pulled hair mixed with the deep need for his body. I wanted him to control me, to take me and own me. I wanted to make his body glow with pleasure. He held onto my hair and slowly moved his cock in and out of my mouth, making wet sounds as my lips moved around him, and I moaned. I loved that he was fucking my mouth, and using me however he wanted.
He released my hair and I pulled my head back, releasing his cock with a pop and trailing saliva from my tongue to the tip of his cock. He leaned forward and pressed his tongue inside my mouth, kissing me. When he pulled back, he took my shoulders and pushed me backward. I laid sprawled on the bed as he moved himself between my legs. One second he was a pressure above me and an absence inside of me, and the next I was completely full of him, his body warm and rough against me, his cock deep inside my cleft, filling me with his girth and his strength.
“You’re mine now,” he said into my ear, and thrust deep inside me. I dug my fingers into his back as my body tightened with pleasure. He grunted as he filled me, and I felt waves of joy run through my body. He grabbed my hair and thrust harder and deeper and I moaned loudly, unable to control myself.
“I’m yours now, Mr. Green,” I whispered back, and felt his thrusts increase. His full lips grazed my neck and my cheek and found my mouth, and our lips and tongues met with force and hunger. We kissed and sucked each other’s lips as he filled me deeply, his strong arms wrapped around my body. He reached back with his right hand and took my arms and placed them above my head. He rolled back onto his knees, my legs on his shoulders, and fucked me hard. I grabbed onto the headboard as he thrust into me, his muscled body rippling with effort and sweat.
I could feel myself losing whatever used to hold me back. The block of self-doubt that lodged itself inside my chest began to dissolve as he moved inside me, and took me as his own. Now that he knew I was his body and soul, there was no more room for doubt and confusion.