Changing Her Heart

by Gail Sattler

  “I don’t wants one of my books. I wants you to tell me a story with no book.”

  Lacey shuffled in her seat. “I don’t know any stories without a book.”

  Kaitlyn threw her arms around Lacey’s neck. “But I don’t wants an old story. I wants a new one. I loves you, Auntie Lacey.”

  Lacey hugged her little niece back. “Okay, how’s this then? Once upon a time, there were three little pigs.”

  “Auntie Lacey, that’s not a new story.”

  Lacey pressed one finger to her lips, and Kaitlyn quieted. “Who were friends with a giant who was big and green and loved vegetables.”

  “Oh!”

  “So the pigs introduced the giant to a princess. But some of his peas got under her mattress, and she couldn’t sleep. So then—”

  “I know! I know! The giant had a friend who was a frog, and the princess kissed the frog and he turned into a handsome prince. And then she married the prince!”

  “Well, that’s not exactly the way I would have ended the story, but I guess that works.” She couldn’t believe she’d put together such a mismatched story. It wasn’t in her nature to do so such things. But it was something she could see Randy doing. She didn’t want to think that Randy’s convoluted ways were rubbing off on her.

  Lacey patted her niece’s head. “Come on, now. It’s time to go to sleep.”

  She carried Kaitlyn to bed while Susan helped Shawn pick up some of his trucks that were in the living room, before putting him to bed.

  “Let’s say prayers.”

  “Auntie Lacey, has you ever kissed a frog?”

  Gently Lacey pulled the blanket up and tucked it under Kaitlyn’s chin. “No, sweetie, I’ve never kissed a frog.” The last thing—or person—she had kissed was Randy. His kiss had been so gentle and sweet, and far too short.

  She quickly pushed the thought from her mind. She shouldn’t have been thinking about kissing Randy.

  For a fleeting second, thinking about the princess kissing the frog who turned into a prince made her want to believe that such things could happen, that by kissing Randy, it would somehow have made him different.

  But such things only happened in romance novels and fairy tales. Randy wasn’t a perfect prince—he had been an alcoholic, with all the troubles and problems and risks that went with such an unstable background.

  Lacey had seen too much of that in a man already in the lives of her mother and her sister, none of it good.

  “Enough talk about kissing frogs. It’s time to say your prayers.”

  Kaitlyn said a short but heartfelt prayer thanking God for her family, even her brother, and expressed her wishes that soon she would get a puppy. Once Kaitlyn was asleep, Lacey tiptoed out of the room to go sit on the couch.

  Finally, Susan returned to the living room. “Sorry I took so long. Shawn didn’t want to go to sleep until Randy got back. He’s really taken a liking to Randy.”

  Lacey forced herself to smile. “I know. That kind of thing happens all the time.”

  Susan sighed. “I can see that. Everyone likes him. It would be easy for a woman to get stars in her eyes over him. I can’t remember it ever being that way with Eric before we got married.”

  Lacey could certainly understand. Even back then, Lacey had seen Eric’s potential problems, and he’d certainly lived up, or rather, down, to that expectation. Lacey hadn’t liked Eric then, and she liked him even less now.

  “No,” Lacey said, “but you’ve got to remember that Randy is different from Eric.”

  Suddenly, something Randy said the day she found out about his history of alcoholism roared through her head, cutting off everything else she was going to say.

  “You’ve got to remember that I’m different from Eric,” he’d said.

  She just said the same thing to Susan.

  It was bad enough she was starting to tell stories Randy-style. She didn’t want to start quoting him, too.

  Lacey rose quickly from the couch and walked toward the kitchen. “How about if we make ourselves some tea before the guys get back?”

  “Okay.”

  Susan didn’t say anything while they flitted about in the kitchen, which Lacey found frustrating. Since Randy hadn’t told her anything worthwhile about Eric’s progress, or lack of progress—she didn’t know which—she’d expected her sister to at least say something.

  But Susan said nothing about it, almost like she was avoiding the topic. They talked about everything else, even the weather.

  The weather didn’t interest Lacey unless it was going to rain on Monday morning, because she didn’t want to think of Randy getting wet while skating to work.

  Lacey dragged one hand down her face.

  Randy. Again he was invading her brain.

  “Lacey, do you think we should make some cookies? They might want a snack when they come back.”

  “We don’t have time to make cookies. They should be back in twenty minutes.”

  Susan smiled. “Then that’s perfect. The dough is in the fridge. All I have to do is cut the pieces and put them in the oven. Randy won’t take anything for helping Eric, so this is one small way I can show my appreciation.”

  “He’ll like that. He loves sweets. He especially has a thing for Boston Creme doughnuts.”

  “I’ll have to remember that, but for now, the cookies will have to do. Can you get out the cookie sheet?”

  Something in Lacey’s gut clenched. She didn’t want to know what Randy’s favorite treat was. And she had a feeling that he probably did make cookies for himself, because she already knew he was a good cook. She also suspected that if he ever made himself a special treat, he probably worked it off in the pool. He’d told her that he often went for a swim alone, after everyone else was in bed and the pool was supposed to be closed.

  She wondered if she started hitting herself in the head with the cookie sheet, if this time she could exorcise thoughts of Randy.

  While they waited for the cookies to bake, Lacey put on a pot of coffee, knowing Randy would want some, and she didn’t want to think of why she knew that drinking coffee late in the evening didn’t affect him.

  The front door opened at the same time as the oven timer dinged. Both men appeared in the kitchen as Susan scooped the last cookie from the sheet onto a cooling tray.

  Randy grinned from ear to ear as he focused on the hot cookies. “Did you miss me?”

  Lacey had actually missed him much more than she wanted to, so she chose to say nothing.

  Guilt poked at her for being less than charitable. Randy had done nothing to deserve her bad attitude. It was her own fault that she couldn’t stop thinking about him, not his. As always, Randy had done nothing but remain helpful, cheerful and supportive.

  Just looking at his handsome, smiling face, she felt compelled to somehow make it up to him, for all her negative thoughts.

  “Why don’t you guys go sit in the living room, and we’ll be right out with everything?”

  Eric did exactly as she said, and immediately went to sit on the couch.

  Randy poured two cups of coffee and topped up her tea, added the milk to the coffee, tucked a pile of napkins under his arm and carried both mugs into the living room, carefully setting them on magazines when he couldn’t find coasters.

  Susan took her tea in one hand and the plate of cookies in the other, while Lacey carried her own tea and a small handful of spoons.

  The only one empty-handed had been Eric.

  “So, how was the meeting?” she asked, trying to act casual as she passed the plate to Randy once they were all seated.

  “Good,” he said, then reached for a cookie. “We got a parking spot right near the door.”

  She waited for him to continue, but he didn’t.

  “That’s it? You got a good parking spot?”

  “We got good seats close to the front, too.”

  “And?”

  “And the speakers were really interesting. Next week they’re going to have a
ten-year cake. That’s a biggie.”

  Again, she waited for him to continue. He didn’t. Therefore, she turned to Eric, but she didn’t know what to say, as she didn’t think that asking him if he had a “nice time” was quite the right thing to say. She didn’t want to be so blunt as to come right out and ask if he learned anything, but she wanted to know so badly it was nearly painful.

  She stared at Eric very pointedly, until he began to squirm. “I guess you’re expecting me to say something. I’m not really sure what to think yet, except that there are a lot more people involved than I thought there would be. While I’ve seen a few of the same people at both meetings, most of the people at each place are different. I didn’t know there would be so many.” He turned to Randy.

  Randy shrugged his shoulders. “I think the total numbers would surprise you. But as to attendance, everybody’s different. Most people go to a meeting almost every day for the first year. Some people go to three or four meetings a week for the rest of their lives. Some go to one meeting a week, sometimes less. And then there’s everything in between. I’ve been sober for just over six years, and I only go to one meeting a week, unless I’m taking someone else. You have to do what’s best for you. I can’t make that decision. All I can do is go with you and be there for you, for as long as you need me.”

  Instead of waiting for Eric to respond, Randy gulped the last of his coffee down in one gulp and stood. “Come on, Lacey. I think it’s time to go.”

  “Go? But…” She let her voice trail off. As they had the last time, they’d come in separate cars, so there really was no need for both of them to leave at the same time.

  Unless Randy knew something she didn’t.

  She stood, as well. “Of course. What was I thinking?”

  The second the door closed behind them, he turned to her. “We have to talk. Follow me to the doughnut shop.”

  He strode to his car without giving her any chance for rebuttal.

  Dutifully she followed him. He didn’t say a word to her until they were sitting down.

  “Just in case you’re wondering, I didn’t want to get too comfy at their place because I wanted something that one of the speakers said to sink in a little more, and that wasn’t going to happen with us there.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I know you’ve never been to an AA meeting, but what happens for most of the meeting is that different people go up to the front and say whatever is on their minds. The last guy had a lot to say about his wife and his marriage, about how happy he is being together. He’s been married, to the same woman, for twenty-three years and they’ve had a lot of ups and downs, but he loves her to the bottom of his heart and soul. Some of the stuff he said was even making some of the guys sniffle.” One corner of his mouth tilted up. “Although now that it’s over, no one will admit it.” His expression again turned serious. “Anyway, I thought it best to leave Eric alone with Susan so he sees that things could turn out the same for him. If he works at it, that is.”

  Lacey was almost surprised at his words, but then, his involvement with Eric began when he’d witnessed Susan crying over the state of her marriage. “That’s such a sweet sentiment. No wonder women fall all over you.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Nah. Mostly I just like to hear myself talk. That’s why I’m good in retail sales. Sometimes I think I’d make a good deejay on the radio, except they have to start out on the night shift, and then I’d be all alone for a whole eight hours in a row, every single night, and I think that would drive me nuts.”

  Lacey opened her mouth, about to say that he would make a good deejay. He was easy to listen to, he did like to talk, and also, he was great with the sound system at church, so she knew that kind of thing would be easy for him.

  Instead, she snapped her mouth shut. Again, he’d changed the subject, and she’d almost fallen for it.

  “Quit that. That’s not what I was talking about, and you know it. I saw a few of the ladies in your church watching you.” More than that, Lacey felt them watching her, because she was with Randy.

  “I don’t know why. I really don’t date much. In fact, I don’t even remember the last time I had a steady girlfriend.”

  She didn’t know if she wanted to hear about his experiences with other women, but Randy was an enigma, and she wanted to learn more about him. “Why not?”

  “I just don’t.” He looked down at her plate, and seeing that she had finished her muffin, Randy rammed the last of his doughnut into his mouth, and stood. “I have to get up early for church in the morning. I think it’s time to go.”

  “Go? But…” Even though she knew he had to be at church an hour early, Lacey doubted the time was really the issue. She had the feeling that again she was pushing her toes past another dotted line with Randy, a line he didn’t want her to cross. The more she got to know him, the more she discovered she didn’t know. Except for a few small smatterings of information, she didn’t know anything about him prior to the day he’d quit drinking, which made her want to know more about the “real” Randy, the one he kept hidden. She could understand that he might have done things when he was drinking that he wanted to forget about, and he could do that. Randy was a new creation in God’s sight, and he could close that door. But at the same time, she wanted to know what motivated him to do what he did, which she couldn’t know until she learned more of the “old” Randy.

  But that wasn’t going to happen tonight. He was already standing, and waiting for her to do the same.

  So Lacey followed his lead and stood, too. “You’re right. It is getting late. Let’s go.”

  They exited the building and walked side by side through the parking lot, until they reached their cars, which were parked together.

  He escorted her to the driver’s door of her car and waited while she unlocked it.

  “I guess I’ll see you at church,” she said as she pulled the door open. Lacey turned around, intending to wish him good-night, but her words caught in her throat.

  The night was dark, but the glow of the lights from above shone on Randy like a spotlight, highlighting his dark hair and emphasizing his broad shoulders, and most of all, it intensified the shimmer in Randy’s striking blue eyes, eyes that could probably make women faint at his feet. She saw it all the time. Every woman who came in contact with him liked him.

  “Good night, Lacey,” he murmured as he shuffled closer.

  Lacey’s heart increased in tempo as they stood nearly toe to toe. Very slowly he raised one hand, then stopped with it hovering in midair, just below her chin.

  Lacey’s eyes drifted shut all by themselves. She tipped her chin up and parted her lips slightly, waiting, meeting him halfway.

  Very gently and tenderly his fingertips brushed her cheek, then slid behind her ear. Slowly the warmth of his thumb rubbed her temple.

  Her lower lip started to quiver, and she couldn’t stop it. She squeezed her eyes shut even harder.

  His voice came out in a husky whisper. “I guess I’ll see you in church.” The warmth of his hand suddenly disappeared. She counted four footsteps in quick succession before her eyes opened. By that time he’d clicked the electronic lock of his car, and he was inside before she had time to blink. The second the motor started, he was gone.

  She moved quickly into her car, shutting the door as his car turned out of the parking lot.

  “Good night, Randy,” she whispered to the empty street.

  Chapter Seven

  Randy grumbled to himself as he set the last control to get the sound he wanted. He was having a particularly hard time getting everything right, but he also knew the reason.

  He was allowing himself to become distracted. Every time someone new walked into the sanctuary, he kept looking up to see if it was Lacey.

  And every time it wasn’t.

  The service was ready to start, and she still wasn’t there.

  He had a bad feeling he knew why. He’d almost lost it last night. He’d wa
nted to kiss her again, but at the last minute, he’d bolted.

  He couldn’t kiss her, because he didn’t have that right.

  But she would have kissed him. Any fool could have seen that.

  And he was a fool.

  In the privacy of the sound room booth, Randy closed his eyes and pressed his hands over his face. Lord God, don’t let her hate me. Tell me what to do.

  Behind him, the door creaked open. He quickly lowered his hands and tapped one of the control knobs.

  “Hi, Randy. Sorry I’m late. Kaitlyn wouldn’t leave without her favorite teddy bear, and we almost couldn’t find it.”

  He turned around to smile, his heart pounding so hard he was positive Lacey could hear it. “No problem. I was just beginning to wonder if you were going to make it.”

  She sighed. “I hate walking into church after everything has started, although I do know a lot of people at my church who arrive promptly five minutes after the service begins, week after week.”

  “Yeah. Same here.”

  The music of the first song ended. Randy set the PowerPoint to a scenery picture as Paul stepped closer to the microphone and welcomed everyone. Randy adjusted the volume levels while the congregation greeted one another at Paul’s invitation.

  He watched Lacey out of the corner of his eye as she stood at the window. When his friends on the worship team waved at the window, Lacey waved back.

  “I know you can’t tell me what was said at the meeting, but whatever it was, you were right. Eric’s been different this morning. He didn’t lose his temper when Kaitlyn couldn’t find her bear. He even helped find it instead of storming off and waiting in the car while Susan did everything.”

  “Good. Just remember, though, that this isn’t going to be an instant, overnight change. There will be ups and there will be downs.”

  “I know. But I thought you’d like to know that we’ve started to see some ups.”

  At Lacey’s words, last night’s speaker’s words echoed through his head like a clanging gong. The man had been emphatic in telling everyone at the meeting, both men and the women, to respect and nurture that special someone God put into their paths, because often, there were no second chances. And if there was a second chance, to grab it and never let it go.