by Alexia Adams
“I’m not the next guy. I’m the original guy.”
“Which makes it even more complicated. I look at you, and what I felt back then gets all muddled with what I feel now. I can’t tell what’s real anymore. And that frightens me.”
It scared the shit out of him as well. But he wasn’t about to give up. “Analise, I need you.”
For a second, a light flared in her beautiful eyes, then it was gone. “I made a promise, and I don’t go back on my word. I’ll still pretend to be your loving fiancée when we’re with your family. The rest of the time I want you to leave me alone.” Her voice was weary, as though there was little fight left in her.
“I can’t do that.” The words were wrung from him.
“Why not?” Her aqua eyes appraised him, leaving him no choice but to tell her the truth.
“Because I can’t stay away from you. I don’t know whether it’s our unresolved past, our convoluted present, or the lure of the future. All I know is that I want to spend every moment I can with you.”
Her eyes searched his, but she didn’t resist when he pulled her closer. He didn’t dare risk a kiss so he simply held her against him until he felt her relax.
“This isn’t surrender, Prairie Boy,” she murmured against his chest.
“I’ll settle for a truce.”
“Okay, truce.”
A sigh escaped her, and she melted into his embrace. The pressure in his chest eased a bit, and he was able to take a deep breath. Her subtle scent of lemons heated with cinnamon enveloped him.
“Come sailing with me,” he said against the top of her head.
“Sailing?” Analise pulled back to look him in the face.
“My cousin said we could use his boat. It’s moored in Gimli Harbour.”
“I don’t know. I was going to spend the day working on the house with Afi.”
“Go with Erik, sweet,” Gunnar said as he came around the corner from the barn. “The house will still be here when you get back.”
“I … ” She was obviously searching for an excuse.
“You love sailing, or at least you used to,” Gunnar added. “No point staying mad at your man for long. Go and enjoy your day.”
Still, she hesitated.
“Come on, love. The sun is glorious, and there’s just enough of a breeze for a nice sail.” Erik tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, lingering in the caress.
“Oh, all right. I’ll get changed.” She re-entered the house, her steps a little lighter than when she’d first come to the door.
“Sit down, son.” Gunnar climbed onto the porch and indicated the rocking chair next to him.
Erik searched the other man’s face. Was he about to be chewed out for upsetting Analise? He tried to marshal a contrite expression.
“I’m sorry I brought your granddaughter home so late the other night.” He felt eighteen years old again. That was about the last time he’d had to justify his actions to a parental figure.
“That’s not what I want to talk to you about. Analise told me you paid off my debts.”
Erik took a deep breath. He’d known this conversation would come eventually, and he still had no idea how to handle it. If he was across a boardroom table, it would be no problem, just another business transaction. But here? He could hardly say he did it to get Analise to pretend to be his fiancée. “I couldn’t let a neighbor go to the wall. You’ve had a bad couple of years. You can pay me back when you’re on your feet again.”
Gunnar looked out at the neglected yard and empty paddock and shook his head.
“I think it’s time for the next generation to take over. Since Lara’s passing, my heart isn’t here anymore. I know you’re a hotshot lawyer and Analise is all wrapped up in her photography. Do you think you’ll settle in Manitoba after your wedding?”
Erik swallowed. Damn it, where is Analise? “We haven’t made a decision yet. I’m still under contract with the law firm in London.” And he’d been offered a partnership if he wanted to stay in the United Kingdom. He’d be at the top of his career ladder, able to pick and choose his clients and assignments.
“Well, I’m gonna put the property in your names anyway. You can always decide what to do with it when you make your minds up.” The older man’s shoulders slumped.
“There’s no need, Mr. Thordarson. Keep it in your name for now, or change it to Analise only.”
“Why? You changing your mind about marrying my granddaughter?” Gunnar stopped rocking and stared at Erik.
“No,” he quickly interjected. “But this is your land and her inheritance. Once we’re married, we can change things over to joint tenancy.”
“When are you getting married? I know it’s fashionable these days to have long engagements, but I don’t hold with that. I’d have wed Lara the next day if I could. Course, back then, we waited to consummate the relationship until after the vows were taken.”
Erik’s face flamed. He was saved from answering by Analise’s reappearance, a small camera bag slung over her shoulder.
“Afi, I told you, Erik and I will set a date in a few months’ time. We just got engaged and still have a lot of issues to discuss, such as where we’ll live. When we do make wedding arrangements, you’ll be the first to know.” She stooped and kissed her grandfather on the cheek.
“I’m just looking out for you, sweet. You’ve got no one else to do it.”
“She’s got me now,” Erik corrected.
Gunnar nodded. “Well, enjoy your sail. Keep an eye on the weather, though. This hot streak has got to break soon, and when it does, it’ll be a doozy of a storm.”
“We will,” Erik answered. As Analise got comfortable in the passenger seat, he checked out her new outfit. She’d changed into a long pair of shorts, a faded, striped top, and a pair of lace-up sneakers. She rocked the sexy, casual look.
“Top up or down?” His finger hovered over the button to retract the car’s roof.
“Down. It’s a lovely day, might as well enjoy it. As Afi said, it’s going to end sometime.”
Was she still talking about the weather?
Erik pulled onto the main road leading to the nearby lakeside community. He glanced over at Analise as she stared at the passing scenery. Her shorts had ridden up, and the welt on her leg was visible below the hem.
“Does it still hurt?” He ran a finger around the injury. Her skin quivered under his touch.
“Not as much anymore. And I finished the antibiotics yesterday. They were making me feel queasy.”
“I’m glad.” When it didn’t seem as though she was going to add to the conversation, he searched for another topic. “So, what did you do yesterday? Did you really rest like your grandfather said?”
“A little. I slept till ten and had a lazy morning. Then we went to my grandmother’s grave again and planted some flowers. When we got back we tidied the house and yard a bit, and then I had another sleep. I don’t know why I’m so tired. I usually adjust to time zones quicker than this.”
“You’ve not only been injured but also had a very emotional time. Your body is probably just telling you to take it easy for a while.”
“I guess. So how big is your cousin’s boat? I haven’t sailed for years, so I don’t think I’ll be much good at helping out.”
“It’s only a little one, twenty feet. I can handle it on my own. You just need to relax, maybe hold the tiller for a few minutes while I get the sails sorted. My dad had a boat when we were growing up. I’ve spent quite a bit of time on the water, so you don’t have to worry that we’ll sink. If you start to feel ill or want to go home, let me know.”
“Thanks. I went out on your dad’s boat once with Karen. I loved it, but she was sick the whole time so we never went again.”
“Karen was the same as my mom—neither enjoyed the boat. I’d have taken you out sailing if you’d have told me.”
Analise raised an eyebrow. Yeah, he was having enough trouble keeping his hands off her now. Ten years ago, the
re’d have been no chance, with just the two of them on his father’s boat, alone in the middle of the lake.
Twenty minutes later, they were aboard and headed out of the harbour. The wind blew gently through her hair, ruffling the ends. She stretched her legs out as she leaned back, raising her face to the sunshine. A flood of warmth rushed through him.
After clearing the last navigation buoy, Erik slowed the engine and pointed the boat into the wind.
“Can you hold the tiller while I get the sails up?”
Analise scooted along the seat and took the wooden handle, her hand skimming his. This time, it was his skin that quivered at the touch. Sails hoisted, Erik relieved Analise of the helm. “My gran packed a picnic lunch for us if you’re hungry. It’s in the green backpack.”
She ducked into the cabin and retrieved the bag while he enjoyed the view of her superfine ass. These solo dates were murder on the self-control. Problem was, even when they were around others, the only thing he could think of was getting her alone.
“How long did your gran think we were going for? There’s enough food here for a week.” Analise pulled out several sealed containers of salads, sandwiches, raw vegetables, pasta, and one with chicken drumsticks.
“She’s Ukrainian. Food is their thing. You can never eat enough to satisfy a Ukrainian baba.”
“Do you want me to dish up something for you?”
“Naw, just hand me one of those chicken legs and save me some salad.”
After a few minutes’ silence as they both devoured the tasty chicken, Analise looked him in the eye.
“Why did you have an engagement ring in your pocket the first day we met again?”
He tossed the chicken bone into the water and wiped his hands on the napkin she’d wrapped around the leg. “I had a girlfriend, a fellow lawyer. Brenda and I worked for the same law firm in Toronto. When the largest client launched a takeover bid for its Britain-based rival, we were asked to go to London and act as counsel during the merger negotiations. We worked very closely together, and late dinners turned into overnights, and soon we were pretty much living in each other’s pockets. She started hinting that after a year together it was time to take the relationship to the next level. That, plus the constant nagging from my mother about getting married, put ideas in my head. One day, I was walking by a jeweler’s, saw the ring, and bought it.”
Even to his ears it sounded cold and calculated. But Brenda had seemed the perfect lawyer’s wife, especially if he took the partnership. She’d loved London—the shopping, weekends in Paris or Milan, the status of being wife to a partner in one of Britain’s top law firms. As he thought back, it struck him that Brenda had begun to hint about marriage shortly after he’d told her about the partnership offer.
His gaze roved over Analise as she popped a cherry tomato into her mouth. She grabbed her camera out of the cabin and took a few photos of a pair of ducks swimming near the boat. As they drew alongside, the ducks took to flight, the sunlight glinting off the colorful feathers of the male. This was where she belonged, out in nature, capturing its beauty. Not in a war zone, dodging snipers.
But not in London, either. He couldn’t imagine her enjoying London life, attending boring dinners with his fellow lawyers or fundraising with the other partners’ wives. And he couldn’t imagine sleeping alone while he waited for her to return from some distant photography assignment, wondering if she was safe. Analise had her own world, and he wasn’t part of it.
He couldn’t imagine life with her—or without her.
“Sounds like you and Brenda had a lot in common.” Her voice was soft, almost sad.
“Not really. Once the merger wrapped up we found we had nothing to talk about. We came back to Toronto on holiday and stayed with her family for a week. And we were so bored with each other. I never worked up the nerve to give her the ring, so it sat in my pocket until I gave it to you.” They weren’t even really engaged and he couldn’t contemplate asking Analise to return his ring.
“Um, is she still in Toronto waiting for you to come back and propose? What if she shows up here to surprise you? That’ll make your grandparents’ party memorable.”
It was the first time in days he’d seen that mischievous twinkle in her eyes. His laugh boomed out across the water, causing a flock of pelicans to divert their flight path.
“I’m pretty sure she won’t turn up. I told her I thought we needed a break, and she seemed almost relieved. I haven’t heard from her in two weeks. In fact, I haven’t even thought about her since I saw you again. It’s definitely over. How can I marry a woman I don’t even miss?” Unlike yesterday, when he’d checked his phone every five minutes, hoping Analise would message him to come around.
Analise nodded. “Have you had enough?”
“What?” He was starting to suspect there wasn’t anything about Analise he’d ever have enough of. She gestured at the containers of food. “Oh, yeah, thanks.”
Analise packed up the food and returned the backpack to the cabin, also storing her camera. “Okay if I go up front and sunbathe for a while?”
Erik swallowed. Hell, yeah! “If you need me to put cream anywhere, let me know,” he offered.
Once up front, she peeled off her t-shirt and shorts, revealing a navy blue bikini. Fortunately, the mast and angle of the cabin hid most of her lithe body from his view. What he did see was enough to raise his temperature. The light had been dim at the hotel, and he’d been concentrating on each delectable bit of her. Seeing the whole package in the bright light of day was almost too much to resist.
But resist he must. After what happened in Winnipeg, he needed to let her make the first move.
To take his mind off the scantily clad Analise feet away from him, he concentrated on his main objective in returning to Manitoba: Ian MacEwan’s downfall. Ian’s final hope had been to buy the failing Thordarson stables. Now that Erik had paid off the bank, that option was gone. All that remained was to call in all the demand loans he had provided to Ian under the guise of development and start-up financing through shadow companies. Then, Ian would have no option but to sell his home and land and start over.
At least he’d get a second chance. Karen hadn’t.
But would ruining Ian really bring anyone any happiness? What would his grandparents say when they discovered he’d deliberately destroyed another man’s livelihood? His stomach roiled. People in the prairies stuck together. It was the only way to survive.
A sudden gust of wind snapped the sail to the other side. If he hadn’t ducked, he’d have been knocked overboard by the boom. Analise sat up, grabbing for the mast as the boat heeled over.
“Everything all right?” she called out.
Erik glanced at the sky. A menacing black cloud loomed on the horizon, growing larger each second he stared at it. “I think that storm your granddad mentioned might be coming in. Can you take the helm while I get the engine started and pull the sails down?”
“You don’t think it’ll just pass over?” She sheltered her eyes with one hand while holding the mast with the other.
“I’m not going to take the chance. We’ll head back to the harbour. We can always shelter at Arnes if it hits before we get back to Gimli.”
As she reached over to grab her shirt and shorts the boat lurched again, causing the clothes to fall into the water. Analise would have tumbled in herself if she hadn’t grabbed on to one of the stays securing the mast.
“Are you okay?” His heart leapt into his throat as she scrambled back to the cockpit, holding the guardrail rope as she went.
“Fine. Be careful,” she cautioned, as he leaned over the back and the boat lurched again. She held the tiller with both hands as he pulled on the starter cord for the engine. After several stutters, the little motor roared to life.
“Okay, try to hold her bow into the wind while I wrap the sails.”
Erik secured the boat and returned to take the helm. Clouds now masked the sun, and with only her bikini on, she shive
red. He pulled off his shirt and handed it to her.
“The storm is coming real fast. Do you think we’ll make it back in time?”
He reached out and turned the little motor up to its highest speed. “We might catch the edge of it, but I think we’ll be safely in harbour before the real force hits. I’m sorry; I should have been keeping a better eye on the sky, especially after your granddad’s warning.”
“Well, I’m not made of sugar, so I won’t melt. Actually, I’m impressed you’re heading for shore at all. Jean-Claude would have wanted to test his strength against the power of Mother Nature.” Her gaze swept once more over his chest before refocusing on the darkened horizon.
“I’ll say it again: I’m not your former fiancé. I will never take a chance with your life.”
“What about my heart?” The words were spoken so low, and with the frantic flapping of the sail edge in the wind, he wasn’t sure she’d actually spoken. Not until her pain-filled eyes met his.
“Come, sit beside me.” She sat stiffly next to him on the fiberglass bench, and he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. “Analise, I know we have an unresolved relationship, and I will admit that seeing you again has brought all those feelings back. But we’re different people now. I’m not sure I can offer you a future that you want. And as much as I crave your body, I realize that you’ve been through a very difficult few months. I don’t want you to confuse blinding passion with a promise I can’t make.”
“You’re right, I know. My life has changed so much in the past six weeks that I don’t even know who I am anymore.” She collapsed against him like a puppet whose strings had suddenly been released.
“You’re Analise Thordarson, beloved granddaughter, fabulous woman, wonderful photographer, and current fake fiancée of one pig-headed, self-centered, carnally obsessed lawyer.”
A small smile creased her full lips. “Have you ever wondered how our lives would have been different if Karen hadn’t … ” The smile disappeared.
He tucked her closer against his chest as a shudder wracked her body. “Every day.”