by Alexia Adams
“Of course.”
• • •
Analise hugged the giant bear tightly. Erik had been determined to win the biggest one there, not resting until he’d achieved it. Which probably wouldn’t have taken so long if he hadn’t had to stop playing every five minutes to introduce her to a vast multitude. Half the festival’s attendees seemed to be related to him. She hoped these people didn’t expect her to remember their names when she saw them again tomorrow.
The sweet smell of cotton candy and caramel apples filled the air. Children’s laughter and the excited screams of those on the rides competed with the call of the carnival workers to come try their games. It was a cacophony of happiness.
“Has your meal digested enough to go on the rides now?” Erik smiled down at her.
“Actually, I’m feeling a bit queasy again. How about we do the Ferris wheel? That should be gentle enough.”
Erik tilted his head back and looked at the large ride.
“Um, I’m not too good with heights. If you want to go, I’ll hold your bear and wait for you here,” he offered.
“You’re scared of heights?” She couldn’t believe self-assured Erik had a phobia.
“What can I say? I’m a prairie boy. Any elevation over three meters makes me nervous.”
“Well, Ferris wheels are no fun on your own. I’m tired, and tomorrow will be a big day. Okay if you take me home now?”
“Absolutely. I’ve been waiting all day for a few minutes alone with you.”
Her heart rate sped up even while her brain tried to convince her body it was a bad idea. Like it had a chance.
“Analise?”
She turned at the sound of a man calling her name. Erik stiffened beside her as a blond-haired man carrying a sleeping child sauntered over to her. Analise wracked her brain until she came up with a name. Then she tensed, as well. Erik’s arm tightened around her.
Last time she’d seen Ian MacEwan, he’d been laughing at her best friend, Karen, in the high-school cafeteria. The handsomest guy in school, a jock with his own posse. He’d asked her out a dozen times, but she’d been too infatuated with Erik to even consider it.
The past ten years, however, hadn’t been kind to him. Now, he was a little overweight, and his hair was thinning so that she could see a distinct patch of scalp. His green eyes were clouded with failure. A defeated man. It seemed karma hadn’t let him get away with his mistreatment of Karen.
“Hello, Ian,” she said. If Erik got any more rigid, he’d snap. Did he think she was attracted to the guy? Not in this lifetime.
“I’m surprised to see you here. I didn’t know you’d moved back,” Ian said. His gaze swept over her, and then he quickly looked away. “This is my wife, Melissa.” Ian drew forward a pretty, brown-haired woman.
The two women shook hands before Melissa returned hers to the stroller, where a sleeping toddler was blissfully unaware of the tension between the adults. Another child, a girl about six years old, held on to the side of the pushchair and looked longingly at the bear in Analise’s arm.
“I’m only here on holiday,” Analise said. Erik seemed struck mute, though he was scowling. What was wrong with him?
“Analise and I are engaged,” he said at last.
“Congratulations.” Ian rubbed his hand down his pant leg, then held it out, but Erik didn’t take it.
Awkward. Analise shook it instead, just to get the moment over with.
Ian cleared his throat. “Well, it was nice to see you again. We have to get the kids to bed. Enjoy your holiday.”
Analise forced a smile onto her face. “Good to see you, too, Ian. And it was nice to meet you, Melissa. You have a beautiful family.”
“Thanks,” Melissa answered. They moved away, although the little girl continued to stare wistfully at the giant bear.
“Wait,” Analise called. She hurried over to the family, leaving Erik standing like a telephone poll in the middle of the fairground. She bent down in front of the child. “I can’t take this on the plane back to France with me. Would you look after him? Keep him safe and warm and give him lots of cuddles?”
The little girl put her arms out to take the bear Analise offered but then looked up at her mother. “Can I? Please, Mom.”
“I guess it would be all right. Thank you,” Melissa said. Ian looked uncomfortable but didn’t object.
Analise was rewarded with a radiant smile from the child.
“I’ll look after him. Thank you so much. This is the best day ever,” the girl said. Her eyes shone like she’d just been handed a tiara full of real diamonds.
“You’re welcome,” Analise replied. “Good night.”
A tear escaped and fell on her empty arm. What the hell was she crying about now? She seriously needed to get some rest. Erik joined her as the family left the park, and she leaned into his strong body. “I hope you don’t mind that I gave the bear away.”
“No, that’s fine. I didn’t know Ian had so many children.” He avoided her gaze.
She should have asked him first before she gave away his present. But it was the symbolism of him winning something for her that she wanted, not the actual bear. It definitely wouldn’t fit into her camera case when she got back to her real life. Although, what life did she really have to go back to? She’d seen more than her share of death and destruction. She wouldn’t go back to photojournalism.
“You okay?” She put her hand on Erik’s cheek as he continued to stare off into the distance. Finally, his blue gaze met hers, a hint of regret in his eyes.
“Yes, sorry. All these faces from the past are hard to keep up with.”
“Ian’s three years younger than you. I didn’t realize you knew him before.”
“I only knew him in passing. I think we played on the same baseball team at some point. Come on, let’s get you home. You look really tired.”
Looks don’t lie. Who knew juggling all these past and present emotions was so exhausting?
Erik was unusually quiet on the drive home and seemed lost in his own thoughts. She put a hand on his arm as they approached her grandfather’s place. “Did my grandfather say anything to you on Wednesday when you picked me up to go sailing?”
“About what?”
“About his property?”
He glanced over at her before returning his gaze to the road. “He offered to change the title deed over to our names.”
“I thought as much. He’s mentioned that to me as well. I keep telling him no, that it’s his place. With my grandmother gone, though, I don’t think he wants to stay there.”
“Where would he go?”
“I think he’s just waiting to die. He’s made me promise that when he goes I have him cremated and then the ashes put in with my grandma.” She couldn’t help the tear that trickled down her face.
Erik parked in front of the house and turned the engine off, although he made no effort to get out of the vehicle. He turned his full attention on her, reaching out and wiping another stray tear with the pad of his thumb.
“His grief is still raw. Give him some time. I’m sure he’ll learn to adjust, especially with you here.”
“I don’t know, Erik. He and my grandmother were so close. I can only image what it must be like to lose someone you’ve spent almost your whole life with. But he’s all I have left.”
“He knows that, Analise. And he loves you. He won’t do anything … ” She appreciated him not ending the sentence. With both her mother and his sister taking their own lives, it was difficult to find the right word for such an act of desperation.
“It’s like he’s given up on life. I’ve heard of people dying of heartbreak before. I’m worried that if he thinks we are really together, he’ll fade away, feeling that now I have you, he can let go. Can’t I tell him that our engagement is just a ruse to keep your family off your back?”
“No,” Erik blurted out before continuing more gently, “I think that would hurt him too much, having deceived him in the first place. We’ll have t
o make sure we tell him how much we want him a part of our lives.”
“I guess the engagement will be over soon, anyway. Then he’ll want to live on to help me over the pain.” She didn’t need to tell Erik the inevitability of pain was becoming stronger each day. She was a little surprised, however, when he made no comment on the timing of their breakup.
Instead, he undid his seatbelt and leaned over to her. He kissed her so sweetly, another tear escaped. Pulling back a fraction he searched her eyes. “I am going to make you a promise, right here, right now. No matter what happens or doesn’t happen between us, you’ll never be alone. You will always be a part of me, part of my family.”
He kissed her again, and she almost believed him.
Chapter 10
Another wave of nausea swelled within Analise. Having thrown up everything she’d eaten, her stomach was empty. But that didn’t stop the heaves. She pressed her forehead against the cool bathroom wall. Fortunately, her grandfather had taken his second cup of morning coffee out onto the porch, and it was unlikely he’d have heard her retching from the front of the house.
She tried to convince herself that it was eating too many perogies at the fair yesterday … or that the milk tasted funny in her cereal this morning. She was too much of a realist, though, to believe any of those scenarios for long. If she’d had a fever, she could try to persuade herself that it was malaria or some other tropical disease she’d picked up in her travels. But she had none of those symptoms. And the excuse that she hadn’t had a period because of the recent stress and trauma in her life wasn’t cutting it, either.
As she sipped a glass of cold water in the kitchen, she glanced at the clock on the stove. She had almost two hours before she had to be at Erik’s grandparents’ farm. Brent and Tracy were going to pick her up on their way to save another car to park.
If she hurried, she still had enough time to go to the pharmacy before she had to get ready. She daren’t go to one in Akureyri; too many people recognized her now, and Gimli was too busy with the festival. She’d have to drive over to Arborg.
Fighting the desire to hurl again, she grabbed her bag and keys and headed out the door. Time to get a stick and pee on it.
Mission accomplished, she sat on the edge of her mattress and watched the little indicator window proudly proclaim her pregnant. Analise lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. This was not something she’d ever imagined happening. She’d faithfully taken the pill every day until he’d died, knowing Jean-Claude would never want a child—never want the responsibility, never want to be tied down. She glanced at the stick again. Her late fiancé had given her one more surprise. Even in death, he still managed to control her life.
Her hand flitted over her still-flat belly. Flat for now. A little life grew inside, a new start. Her child. A wave of warmth and possessiveness overrode the nerves and trepidation. She was going to be a mom. And she was going to be the best damn mom, ever.
Her phone pinged with an incoming text.
Erik: Can’t wait till you get here. I’ve hidden a whole bowl of perogies just for you.
The mom thing would have to wait. For now, she had to play the part of fake fiancée.
Analise sat up, grabbed her dress, and headed for the shower. She had forty-five minutes to get ready for the Sigurdson party. Her pregnancy was a complication she hadn’t reckoned on in her pretend engagement. Hopefully, she’d be able to keep it secret until she left Manitoba.
Right on time, Brent and Tracy arrived to pick her up. Analise had carefully done her makeup, trying to hide the ravages of her earlier nausea. She put on a fake smile, to match her fake ring given to her by her fake fiancé, and greeted the family like she hadn’t seen them in years. Too soon, they were at the farm, surrounded by hundreds of people.
Analise shifted her weight from one foot to the other. How could one person possibly have so much family? Her cheeks hurt from constantly smiling for the past two hours, accepting congratulations on her engagement and welcomes to the family. Erik’s arm seemed permanently fused to her waist. As if sensing her malaise, he kept asking if she was okay.
“I’m starting to worry about you, my love. Do you think it’s time you saw a doctor?”
A doctor’s appointment would be the perfect excuse to go into Winnipeg to meet the Yemeni contact. “You could be right. I’ll try to book something for later in the week.”
Erik put a hand to her face and stared into her eyes. His blue gaze seemed to look right into her heart. Before he could discover her secret, she looked away. Fortunately, one of Erik’s endless cousins stood beside them, waiting to speak.
“Analise, I know it’s your job, and you’re here on holiday … but I notice you have your camera. Would you mind taking a picture of my family?” Erik’s cousin, Leslie, asked.
“Sure, no problem.” She pulled out of Erik’s arms and swung her camera up to her eye before he could respond.
After that, it was a series of photo opportunities. She’d planned on giving Erik’s grandparents an album of family photos for an anniversary gift, and this gave her the chance to take some candid as well as posed shots. She switched to taking photos unobserved with a long lens—capturing genuine emotion and not the practiced smiles of staged photos. It was her forte.
Her stomach rumbled, but she ignored it. She was in the zone and had often gone twelve hours without eating when working.
“There you are.” Erik’s voice made her jump.
Swiveling around, she spied her fake fiancé leaning against the porch railing. In each hand, he had a paper plate heaped with food. Analise put the lens cap on, replaced the camera in her bag, and approached. He got full marks for being a caring fiancé.
As soon as she stepped within two feet of him, the smell of the food caused another wave of nausea.
“Excuse me. I need to go to the bathroom first,” she managed to get out.
Pushing past him, she ran into the house. Thankfully, the bathroom was empty, as most of the guests were still lining up at the buffet tables.
She made it just in time, without a second to spare to lock the door.
After she had emptied her stomach for the second time that day, she sat on the floor, pressing her sweating brow to the cool edge of the bathtub.
She was about to leverage herself off the floor when the door flew open. A woman wearing a flower-print dress, thick-soled black shoes, and her hair pulled back into a severe bun stood in the doorway. She took one look at Analise, another at the raised toilet seat, and had a light-bulb moment.
“You’re pregnant!” She almost did a dance as she pronounced the diagnosis.
Damn, I could have saved ten bucks on the test.
As the woman turned and ran from the room, Analise belatedly recognized her as one of Erik’s second cousins. The one he’d whispered was the biggest gossip in the family.
“Nooo!” Analise called out too late. “It’s stomach flu!”
Time must have slowed somehow, because by the time she’d scrambled to her feet and made it out of the room, there was no sign of the woman. Analise swished her mouth out with a handful of water, then pinched her cheeks, hoping to give her face a little color.
When she stepped out onto the back porch, it seemed every eye turned in her direction. The general buzz of conversation stilled. If this scene were playing out in an Old West movie, a tumbleweed would have rolled by. She scanned the sea of faces staring at her and caught a glimpse of the woman she’d seen briefly from the floor. The cousin had a huge grin like she’d scored the biggest scoop of the century. Erik’s mother stood next to him, her face flushed and her jaw clenched. Erik himself blinked once, then plastered on a tight smile. Putting the paper plate he still held for her down on a nearby table, his eyes never left her face. Everyone at the gathering watched as he approached her.
“Love, come sit down in the house where it’s quiet. I’ll get you a glass of water.” Erik’s voice was loud enough for all to hear, his grip on her el
bow firm yet gentle. “I told you to lie down if you weren’t feeling well,” he added in a stage whisper as they entered the house.
Dazed, Analise followed him into his grandparents’ small sitting room. Crocheted protectors sat on the arms and backs of the chairs; the sofa was adorned with a handmade, knit afghan in a plethora of colors. It was a room where myriad family discussions had taken place. But she was fairly certain no sham engagements had been dissolved on the discovery that the fake fiancée was carrying another man’s child. Erik led her over to the sofa and gestured for her to sit.
“You’re pregnant?” The question was gently phrased, but his eyes bore into hers.
“Yes,” she whispered.
To his credit, he handled the shock well. “I would have appreciated a little heads-up. My cousin congratulated my mother, who immediately demanded to know why I hadn’t told her first. I could hardly say it was because it was news to me.”
He paced the tiny room, looming over her.
“I’m sorry. I just did the test this morning. We haven’t had a moment alone since I got here.” She really should have made the time to tell him. Nice party. By the way, I’m pregnant with my dead fiancé’s baby. Her only excuse was that she was still trying to get her head around the discovery herself.
“You realize that everyone assumes the baby is mine.”
She swallowed. “I know. But if you tell them it isn’t, we’ll have the perfect excuse to end this pretense.”
“No.” His voice was firm. He stood in front of her, hands on his hips, his lips pulled into a firm line.
“What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“We aren’t getting un-engaged. We’re getting married.”
• • •
The tiny bit of color in her face disappeared at his words. Her gaze narrowed as if she couldn’t believe what he’d just said. He could hardly believe it himself. But having said the words, he couldn’t take them back—didn’t want to take them back.
“Erik, you can’t be serious. We hardly know each other. This engagement was to be a temporary thing, to appease your family during your grandparents’ celebrations. By the end of next week we are to part company for good.”