by Nicki Night
“No apologies necessary, sis,” Chloe insisted. “Not so long ago, I was where you are—missing Donovan and trying to figure out the best way to move on without him. I couldn’t lie to myself. I wanted to be with Donovan despite what other people thought, including Mom. I made my decision for me and I just hope you do the same.”
“Thanks, Chloe.”
Chloe’s comment completely unraveled Jewel’s well-laid reasoning for walking away clean. She knew what her heart wanted, but wasn’t willing to tolerate what it would take to make things work. She ended her day the same way she started it—torn.
Chapter 28
Spending the day with Kylee at the water park gave Sterling so much joy despite still feeling dejected about the way things were going with Jewel. As they exited the park, Sterling looked in on Kylee sitting in the back seat playing games on a tablet. Usually he kept the radio on but right now he wasn’t in the mood for music. Running around that water park with Kylee wore him out, but it wasn’t fatigue that caused his quieted disposition. He couldn’t escape his thoughts of Jewel.
“Daddy, are you okay?” Kylee was perceptive for such a young girl. She’d always been attuned to Sterling’s temperament.
“Yes, sweetie. I’m fine.”
“So why do you seem sad? We were just having so much fun.”
“No reason.”
“Will I get to see Ms. Jewel again before I leave?”
“I don’t know, honey.”
“Is she mad at you? Is that why she hasn’t come around? Do you miss her? I know I do.”
Sterling shook his head and smiled. “Yeah. I miss her.” He decided to be honest.
Kylee launched a bunch more questions barely giving him time to respond. Sterling steered the conversation toward getting ready for school. By the time they reached the interstate, Kylee was slumped in her car seat, fast asleep. A smile generated from his heart when he glanced back at her sleeping form.
It saddened him that she would be leaving him in another week to head back to Chicago. He’d have to endure a few more years of seeing his daughter only on holidays, school breaks and summers until Raven graduated again. Sterling wasn’t happy about it at all, but understood Raven’s position and her refusal to allow Kylee to stay in New York. Truthfully, Sterling didn’t really expect Raven to leave Kylee behind. Trusting him wasn’t the issue. It was hard to separate a good mother from her daughter and Raven’s flexible schedule would allow her to spend more time with Kylee than Sterling could. Much of his time was consumed by his business and he’d have to rely heavily on his family to pitch in and help out with Kylee if she stayed with him. After much debate, Raven and Sterling finally agreed on Kylee returning to Chicago with Raven.
The open road made way for contemplation. The silence inside the car became overwhelming. Sterling still wasn’t in the mood for music, but his thoughts kept circling back to Jewel. Several times in the past few days he fought the urge to show up at her door. There was so much more to say, but until he could guarantee that she wouldn’t have to deal with problems from Raven, he’d keep his distance for now. Somehow, he was going to find a way to fix this. Letting Jewel walk out of his life wasn’t an option.
Sterling thought back to the night of the reunion and how stunning Jewel looked. Only a few months had passed since then, but with Jewel at his side, those had been the most thrilling months of his life since the birth of his daughter. Outside of Kylee and his family, Sterling managed to carve out a lonely existence before Jewel came along adding flavor with her presence. Her mind intrigued him. Her body stimulated him. Their conversations went on for hours. She was witty, charming, intelligent, beautiful, ambitious—the list went on. He didn’t want to give that up. Not yet. Anything worth having was worth working for and if Sterling had to put in some work to get Jewel back in his life, then he was willing.
Sterling’s thoughts moved to Raven. He still found her behavior at Kylee’s party upsetting. He felt like she’d accused him of being an irresponsible father. And the party wasn’t the ideal place to have that discussion anyway. Though they came to terms on their daughter’s living arrangements, they’d yet to see eye to eye on Raven’s questions about his relationship with Jewel.
These thoughts accompanied him back to his neighborhood. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he smiled at Kylee shifting in her sleep. His mother often said that children saw through to the truth of a person. Somehow they were more keenly attuned to their intuition than adults. Even as a baby, there were certain people that Kylee instinctively didn’t like. She’d cry whenever they were around and would kick and scream if they tried to pick her up. As much as that inquisitive little girl loved to chat, she still became quiet around people she didn’t take to. Yet Kylee and Jewel connected immediately. Even she knew that Jewel was special.
Sterling made a left instead of a right at the next corner and drove to his parents’ home. The first step toward getting Jewel back was to have a candid conversation with Raven. He wasn’t willing to waste another moment. Sterling dialed Raven’s number.
“Hi. We need to talk. Can I stop by?”
Raven didn’t respond immediately. “Sure.” Her sigh was evident through the phone. They had returned to a place where communicating was an awkward dance.
“I’m on my way now.”
Within fifteen minutes, Sterling had dropped off Kylee and was in front of Raven’s three-story complex where she kept her New York apartment. He exited the car with conviction. Sterling had business to take care of.
Raven opened the door and walked to her kitchen without a greeting. Sterling followed her inside.
Pulling the refrigerator open she asked if Sterling wanted anything. She’d yet to look at him.
“I’m fine.” He needed to get straight to the reason for his visit.
Raven grabbed a bottle of water and joined him at the dining table.
“What did you want to talk about?”
“Jewel.”
Raven took a deep breath and exhaled a rush of air. “What about her?”
“I don’t know why—”
Raven held her hand up, stopping him. “Wait. Let me try to explain this again. I don’t care who you date and I’m not judging your fathering skills. If you’re serious about this woman and she’s going to be around our child I just think that I deserved some kind of notice. I’m not saying you need my approval, but a heads-up would have been fair. That’s all. I may have come off the wrong way, but that was the point I was trying to make.”
Sterling nodded. “That’s fair.”
“You know I’d never try to dictate how you should live your life or whom you spend your time with. You’ve always been an amazing dad. If Jewel is who you want to be with, so be it. When I saw how well she and Kylee got along, I became concerned—for Kylee, not me.”
“I love my daughter and I care about Jewel a lot. I really want things to work out with us, and now realize that all of us will have to play a part in making that happen. I’m glad we spoke.”
Both of them remained quiet for several moments. “She seems nice,” Raven said after a while.
“She’s great!” Sterling couldn’t help his smile.
“Are you compatible?”
“In so many ways.”
“Unlike us.” She chuckled. “That’s good.”
Sterling stood. “I’m glad I came by.”
“Me, too.” Raven smiled. This seemed like a step toward their restoring their friendship.
“I need to go. I’ll see you next week when I drop Kylee off.”
“Cool.” Raven followed him to the door.
Instead of going straight back to get Kylee, Sterling called his sister, Taylor, to see if she was home and then swung by there.
“You caught me at a good time. Want a beer?” She pulled two out of the refrigerator before he answered.
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Sterling took it.
“How’s Jewel?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Mmm.” Taylor took a swig of beer and sat on the stool in front of her breakfast nook. She pointed to the stool next to her but Sterling preferred to stand. “She didn’t look very happy leaving Kylee’s party last week.”
He leaned against the counter. “She wasn’t. She walked in on a conversation between me and Raven that wasn’t going so well.”
“Oh. That’s not good.” Taylor scrunched her face.
“It wasn’t. We spoke the day after and she basically said she was sorry but couldn’t do this—meaning us. I’ve reached out a few times after that, but we’ve yet to speak.”
“Uh-uh.” Taylor shook her head slowly.
“Even Kylee misses her.”
“I know she’s important to you. How do you plan on fixing this?”
“With your help.”
“I can tell you what she’s thinking.”
“What!”
“She doesn’t want to engage in any baby-mama-drama.”
Sterling tilted his head and eyed Taylor narrowly. He hated that expression.
“Really. And she shouldn’t have to. That’s your past not hers. As long as she accepts Kylee as part of the package she shouldn’t have to worry about problems with Raven. That’s for you to manage. What was Raven’s issue, anyway?”
“She said I should have mentioned the fact that Jewel and I were getting serious since she’s Kylee’s mother.”
“She’s right, too.”
“I didn’t get where she was coming from at first, but I spoke to her today and she explained what she meant. I get it now. I just have to figure out how to get Jewel to speak with me in order to clear this up.”
“And you’re going to have to be convincing and impressive.”
“That’s where you and your big ideas come in.”
Taylor tapped her jaw. “Let me see what I can come up with.” She stood. “Call me in the morning. Right now, I need to get ready for my date.”
“With who?” Sterling stood. His eyebrows knitted.
“Calm down, cowboy! I’m a big girl remember?” She rolled her eyes. “Brothers. Geesh!”
Sterling laughed, releasing some of the tension that had built up in recent days. “You’ll always be my little sister.”
Taylor turned him around and nudged him in the direction of the door. “Bye, big brother.”
Chapter 29
“You seem sad, Daddy.” Kylee climbed on Sterling’s lap and nestled her head on his chest.
Sterling kissed the top of her head. “What makes you say that?” He really didn’t need to ask. He hadn’t meant for his pensive state to show enough for Kylee to notice. Sterling hadn’t come up with a way to reach Jewel yet.
“You’re quiet.”
Sterling ruffled the mess of curls jutting from her ponytail. “Are you trying to say I’m usually loud?”
“No!” Kylee snickered. “Well...”
“What!” Sterling tickled her. Kylee’s fit of giggles reached all the way to his core, triggering a spark in his spirit. Kylee laughed until no sound escaped her. Sterling kissed her forehead.
After a while Kylee settled down and studied her dad. “Why hasn’t Ms. Jewel been around?”
“Time for bed, sweetie. Tomorrow is a big day. We’ve got a lot to do before your meeting up with Mommy at the airport. Why don’t you ahead and take your shower.”
“Okay, Daddy.” Kylee rolled her eyes. Sterling laughed, awed at how insightful his daughter had become.
Kylee slid from Sterling’s lap. “Go on now.” Instead of following Kylee, Sterling went to the refrigerator and took out a beer. Leaning against the counter, he popped the can open and chugged. He poured the rest of the beer down the sink, pulled a bottle of Merlot from the wine cooler and poured a glass. Placing the wine on the table, he sat as he sipped slowly, relishing the full-bodied essence of the wine.
Sterling needed to see Jewel and talk face-to-face. He would walk away when he was sure that there was no chance for them. He didn’t believe it was over just yet. Letting her go without one last try would leave him with regrets—something Sterling vowed to avoid to the best of his ability.
What did he want from Jewel? Sterling asked himself. Why couldn’t he just walk away? He knew the answer. Jewel wasn’t just beautiful, she was everything that he imagined the perfect woman could be, but didn’t quite believe truly existed. Her mind intrigued him. Her scent implored him. Her sense of adventure excited him, but most of all, she adored Kylee. He wouldn’t even think about the way his body responded to being in her company. Jewel’s absence affected him as much as her presence. He no longer felt complete without her around. Sterling cared for Jewel more than he could ever recall caring for any woman. The next thought propelled him to his feet. Sterling loved Jewel. In the short time they’d been together, she’d captured his heart—a feat he’d considered impossible.
Sterling took his glass to the den with him to retrieve his cell phone. It wasn’t on the table where he thought he’d left it. Sterling moved the pillow on the couch. No phone. The only things between the seat cushions were a few coins, and under the sofa—dust bunnies. He headed to the steps and heard the shower water running. When Kylee got out, he’d ask her if she’d seen his phone.
Sterling went back to the den. With a sigh, he sat hard and lay back on the couch. The television flickered without sound, but he paid it no mind. Jewel held the full capacity of his focus. With Kylee leaving the next day, he could concentrate on getting Jewel back in his life.
Kylee stayed in the shower so long that Sterling had to call her out. Moments later, she ran back down the steps in lavender polka dot pajamas. The rumble of her feet was thunderous. She plopped beside him. The fresh, clean scent of rose soap clung to her skin.
Kylee laid her head against Sterling’s arm. “What time is it, Daddy?”
“Past your bedtime.”
“Aw.”
The bell rang. Sterling cast a silly inquisitive gaze in Kylee’s direction as if she might have known who was there. She sniggered. The sleek silver watch on his arm told him it was close to nine at night. Who could it have been?
The chime permeated the first floor once again.
“Stay right here.” Sterling looked at Kylee pointedly. “I’ll be right back.” Sterling rose as Kylee flicked channels.
Sterling peered through the blinds but couldn’t make out the shadow on his porch. He wasn’t expecting company. Looking beyond the front yard, he recognized the shape and color of the car that now sat at the curb. His brow knitted.
Hastening to the door, Sterling pulled it open and stared into Jewel’s beautiful face. The face he missed with skin he yearned to touch.
Sterling wanted to ask why she was there but didn’t want to sound rude. “Jewel?” Most of all, he didn’t want to risk having her turn away.
“Hi.” She stepped closer but paused. “Kylee called.” She narrowed her eyes inquisitively. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah...sure.” Sterling moved back, gesturing for her to step inside. “Come on in.”
Jewel moved like his home was unfamiliar to her. “Is she here?”
“She is.” Sterling closed the door. “You said she called you?” Jewel nodded. “Kylee!” Sterling marched toward the den. Jewel followed him.
“Ms. Jewel!” Kylee jumped off the couch and leaped into her arms.
“Hey sweetie!”
“Kylee!” Sterling’s voice was firm. Kylee looked down before meeting his chiding gaze. “Ms. Jewel said you called her. Is that true?” At that moment, Sterling noticed his phone on the table in front of the couch. He was certain it wasn’t there before.
“Yes, Daddy.” Kylee lowered her head.
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“Why?” Sterling was clearly puzzled.
“Because you were sad and I missed her, too. I wanted to see her before I left.”
Sterling tilted his head and looked at Jewel. With her lips pressed together, she raised both brows.
“I asked if she could please come over as soon as possible.”
“Oh honey.” Jewel bent forward and squeezed her cheek. “I thought something was wrong.” Jewel explained to Sterling.
Kylee put her head down. Sterling couldn’t believe the stunt she pulled but was grateful for it.
“Well she’s here now. So say hello and get yourself into bed.”
Kylee hugged Jewel’s waist. “Thank you for coming. I’m so glad I got to see you before I left.” She looked up at Jewel and whispered, “Daddy is glad, too.”
“Good night, sweetie.” Jewel bent over and hugged Kylee one more time before the happy little girl bounced up the stairs leaving the two behind.
Sterling looked from Kylee’s retreating feet to Jewel’s stunning face and fought the urge to run the back of his fingers down her cheek. Jewel shifted on her feet and frowned. An awkward air settled between them.
Jewel turned to leave. Sterling reached for her arm. Her body tightened at his touch.
“Don’t go.” Longing was evident in his voice. Jewel sighed and remained still, but didn’t turn to face him. “I’ve missed you.” Sterling hadn’t meant to say that aloud. Honesty seeped from him involuntarily. Jewel still hadn’t moved. “We need to talk.”
Jewel began shaking her head before she spoke. “We shouldn’t do this.”
“We need to do this.” Sterling moved closer, erasing the space between them. Jewel’s essence, mixed with her spicy perfume, teased his nostrils. He remembered how much he savored her scent. Instinctively, his eyes closed. He opened them and allowed his gaze to wash over her frame from head to toe. This was his chance—handed to him by his precocious daughter. “I can’t sit back and let you walk out of my life. This week without you confirmed for me how much I enjoy being with you. I need to know if you feel the same way.”