“You could be gross in my bed.”
A small giggle escaped her pale face, soft, barely there.
“I didn’t mean it like that you little perv.” I couldn’t help but tap her hip softly.
She slid further down into her own bed with a small grin on her face.
“We didn’t get home until six this morning.”
My eyebrows shot up.
“I know.” Miriam looked up at me while keeping half her face covered with the sheet.
“What’s your hangover food? I’ll go get you some.”
“I appreciate the offer but I’m just going to go back to sleep. I’ll make some eggs when I get up in a while.”
“You sure?”
She nodded.
“Ok. Call or text later so I know you’re alive.”
Another quiet laugh, and she nodded her head slightly. I hated to leave her but she was pretty clear and probably didn’t want me around if she did in fact get sick at some point. So against what every part of my body told me to do, I leaned over, dropped a kiss on her temple and shuffled quietly out the door.
I spent the night working from home to get ahead on a few things before I left for Michigan. And that’s when I remembered I had to work late the next day to cover some of the on-site things I needed to implement after hours when I could take the server down. Fuck. I really wanted to spend it with Miriam. As if on cue my phone dinged.
Miriam: I’m sorry. Can’t call. My head hates me. I’m alive.
My poor girl.
Sam: No worries. Glad to hear you’re still around
Miriam: Tomorrow?
Sam: Definitely call. Have to work late. Sorry.
Miriam:
My heart sunk. I wanted to be around to take care of my girl. Shit. I called her my girl again.
Sam: I know.
Miriam: How late????
Sam: Late. Sorry. But call me whenever you feel up to it.
Miriam: Will do.
It was true. I didn’t know how late I’d be. Could be half the night but I knew then and there I’d answer when she called.
Which she did, and I did.
We couldn’t talk long but quickly put together some plans for Tuesday night since she was set to leave Wednesday. She said she absolutely couldn’t stay the night though because she had to meet up with a couple of girls she was traveling with and get to the airport early. For some reason I felt a little better about her not traveling alone. I’d been half tempted to cancel Michigan and go with her on my off days.
Who the hell was this person living in my body?
So fuck it all I wouldn’t get to see her until after work on Tuesday then not again until I got back from Michigan on Sunday. I raced home from work, grabbing takeout from this little place along the way. I thought about cooking but didn’t want to spend the extra time away from her. I’d barely gotten changed into jeans and a T-shirt when she knocked at the door. I knew what was on tap for the night, I could’ve dressed up a bit more but this shit looked good on me.
“Hey,” she said with a big smile looking nothing like she had when I saw her in her bed two days before. She wore a blue skirt with a white shirt and a pair of flats. Casual but beautiful.
“Get in here.” I yanked her hand until her body hit mine and the door closed on its own. I couldn’t wait another minute. My hands clasped her hips while my mouth descended taking hers. She felt so smooth and soft. When she parted her lips so I could taste her, I just about forgot about dinner to drag her into my bed instead.
No, I should feed her first. Not to mention her in my bed had been the thing I’d been worried about. Not the sex. I knew what the fuck I was doing in that area but for Miriam. I wanted everything to be good for her, perfect really, and it’d been a really long ass time since I’d thought about sex in any meaningful way. Something with feeling because even I couldn’t deny I had feelings for her. Six weeks wasn’t a long time but enough for me to know I cared for her.
She pushed her lips against mine as hard as I did, not giving an inch but taking what she wanted. It fucking turned me on.
“Hungry?” I asked breathlessly after I pulled back.
Her skin was flushed and her lips swollen. I wanted to suck the bottom one back in my mouth. Then my heart sputtered. What the fuck? I wasn’t a kid. I didn’t get nervous about sex. I’m not sure that’s what I was feeling but that’s how it felt.
We ate slowly, catching up on what we’d each been up to the last couple of days but I honestly didn’t taste a bit of the food. The closer we got to the end the more my mind raced with what ifs. Doubt of how things would go. Whether she’d enjoy it or not. I hadn’t thought this much about sex in years. And it fucked with my head. When I went to clear the plates, her arm brushed mine and I dropped the damn plate causing it to shatter against the floor. Then I had to clean it up.
Miriam kept the tone light, being her normal funny self, and it worked to an extent. But I could feel her eyes on me, trying to figure out what was going on inside me, watching my every move.
While I did the dishes, she hopped up onto the island behind me, swinging her legs like she didn’t have a care in the world. How could she be so damn calm?
“What should we do?” I asked turning around and tossing the dish cloth back in the sink. “Want to watch a movie?”
She didn’t have to answer. I knew the look in her eyes. Before she spoke, she grabbed my shirt to pull me to her. I landed, eye to eye, wedged in between her legs.
“I don’t think I’d like to watch a movie tonight.” She bit her bottom lip.
Miriam knew what the fuck she was doing.
“No?”
She shook her head, that plumpness still between her teeth.
“I’d really rather go to your room.”
Chapter Thirteen
I swallowed hard. I’d done this a lot in my life so I had no reason to be nervous. And yet I was. My palms started to sweat and my heart raced. There had to be something wrong with me. This wasn’t normal. I wanted it. Wanted it with Miriam more than I’d ever wanted it in my entire life. What a cluster fuck.
Lifting her off the counter, I slipped her hand into mine and slowly walked her to my room. I hadn’t noticed she still had a glass of water in her hand so I set it on the nightstand then took her in. Holy shit my girl was beautiful. She stood, waiting for me with a small smile, her hands hanging at her side. Waiting for me to make my move.
At first my hands refused to listen to orders. I wanted to cup her face so I could kiss her again and yet there they hung, so we were staring at each other until it became awkward. This was not going how I’d hoped.
“Something wrong?” she asked quietly.
“No.” Even I didn’t believe my own voice.
At first my lips just brushed hers and I thought everything would return to normal.
The slight moan she released went from her mouth straight into mine. Then that fucking sound bounced around my brain and sunk into my stomach like a fucking brick. What the hell? My hands were cupping her cheek but they wanted to roam and I wanted to let them. Moving one around to the back of her neck to trail her spine until I got to her ass, somehow a lock of her silky brown hair wrapped around my fingers. When my hand jerked away, the hair went with it snapping her head back quickly.
“Ow,” she groaned sucking in a breath.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.”
She smiled back up at me.
Taking a deep breath, I dove back in. I moved her toward the bed while kissing her. Miriam slid back not letting go of my lips and I crawled over her. The heat coursing my veins pushed me further, faster.
“Shit.” She snapped back holding two fingers to her lip. “I think you drew blood.” She pulled back for me to take a look and sure enough there was a tiny break in the skin on her lip with a small drop of blood forming.
“Miriam…I’m…” Apologizing again wasn’t ideal. If I didn’t calm down soon the poor girl would end up in the hosp
ital.
“No worries.” Her tongue shot out licking the blood away.
This time, she pushed up to her knees for a chaste peck on my lips before pulling back and starting to unbutton her shirt. I watched her move slowly, her hair falling over her shoulders, until she undid the last one and only a white lacy bra covered her breasts. It was sexy, almost virginal and made the hardness return to my dick. I’d been mostly there before but it seemed every misstep caused the big guy to retreat.
Repositioning, I pulled her legs out from under her so she’d have to lie back and I could hover over her again. This time things were smoother. I kissed her lips until I’d stolen her breath. I skimmed over her jaw and down her neck, nipping and sucking my way over her skin as my hand slip up her thigh under her skirt. This was me. This was the Sam she expected. That innocent white bra had a front closure, making it infinitely easier on me. When I unclasped it, she sucked in a breath as the air hit her sensitive skin puckering her nipples.
The way Miriam moved beneath me, the feel of her flat stomach under my hands, I don’t think I’d ever wanted to be somewhere or with someone more. Like ever. Added bonus…her tits were amazing. Course I’m a guy and pretty much any that I’m seeing are amazing, but Miriam was fucking perfect in every way including knowing just how to get me going even more.
She arched her back, urging me along. I wanted this with her, wanted it to be good. I didn’t need to disappoint the girl I actually cared for. It’s not like that had ever been an issue, but fuck, it absolutely couldn’t happen with Miriam.
Sucking a nipple into my mouth, I tried pushing all those thoughts from my mind but for some fucked up reason a memory, one from a long ass time ago, popped into my head causing me to flinch. My teeth scraped against Miriam’s breast violently making her cry out.
I jumped off the bed not believing I seriously just hurt her. Again.
“What the fuck?” My words came out in a harsh whisper. I needed to get away from her for a minute.
“Sam?” Her concern was mixed with pain from what just happened. I didn’t deserve the concern.
I turned away quickly, knocking the glass of water on the nightstand over. It fell against the mattress and splashed up on her.
She sucked in her breath and froze.
Turning back I found her sitting on the edge with her arms spread wide, naked chest dripping with water. Her mouth hung open in the form of a surprised ‘O.’ There was something seriously wrong with me. Instead of saying anything, trying to explain, or apologizing once again, I ran into the bathroom for a towel and came back, handed it to her then stood watching as she dried herself off, my hands locked on the top of my head.
I was an idiot.
I just screwed up the one thing I was good at with the one person I wanted more than anyone.
“Sam?” She questioned again. Still I said nothing. “Um…my shirt is all wet. Could I borrow one of yours?”
Finally something I could do. Right away I grabbed one out of my drawer. Miriam had already peeled her shirt and bra the rest of the way off then dropped mine over her head. Almost none of the water got on the bed. She’d been hit with it all.
“Can we at least talk?” she asked quietly.
I dropped onto the bed, letting my head fall into my hands as my arms rest on my thighs.
“I’m not sure what to say, Miriam.”
“I think I deserve something.”
I watched her feet pace back and forth in front of me but I still didn’t look up.
“You deserve everything. I’m sorry about tonight.” I only hoped she wouldn’t push it. I really didn’t know what to say to her. Finally, I forced my eyes up her body until I was looking into those soft brown eyes.
“Ok.” She sighed and dropped down beside me. “I have to be up early tomorrow so I’m going to go. We’re going to talk about this, ok?”
“Yeah.” It was already almost midnight. I’d effectively wasted my only night with her that week. But somehow she knew I needed a minute to myself. She could give me that but unfortunately it would come as days instead of a minute to get my shit together. She had to work. Couldn’t stay around to coddle my ass.
“Can you walk me out to my car?”
“Course.” As if I’d send her out into the night alone.
Miriam slid her shoes on, grabbed her purse and carefully carried her wet clothes in a closed fist.
“Have a safe flight. Let me know when you land,” I said after she got the car door opened and tossed her wet clothes onto the passenger seat but before she actually got in her car.
“You, too.” Our eyes locked.
She had questions. I didn’t have answers. I dropped my gaze to her lips, the bump and split stared at me angrily and made me feel like shit. I hurt her. I did that.
“If I promise to be careful, can I kiss you goodnight?”
“You better.” She smiled up at me. How she could be standing there looking at me like she wasn’t pissed as hell when she should be, I had no idea. “And you never have to ask permission. Just assume you have it.”
Slowly and extremely carefully I brushed my lips against hers before adding in that extra bit of pressure. I wasn’t going to take it any further but my tongue flicked out over the damage I’d done to her lip. I felt like shit for doing it.
“It doesn’t hurt,” she said once I pulled back. “Promise.”
Two more chaste kisses, Miriam climbed in the car and drove away.
I spent the night staring at the ceiling and could barely focus on work the next day. Miriam occupied every thought while I tried to figure out where I went wrong. I should have been able to have sex in my sleep for crying out loud and I fucked it up royally.
The text saying her plane was taking off was responded to with only a smiley face. By the end of the day I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. I threw some clothes in a bag and took a cab to the airport. Switching my flight was expensive but otherwise without hassle. Within a couple of hours of leaving work I’d reached cruising altitude.
I landed too late in Michigan to go to Cain’s or call anyone so I grabbed another cab and gave the driver my parent’s address. The house was completely still when I got there though I’d sent Dad a message saying I’d be there when they woke up. I didn’t need the drama of him or Mom to freak about someone being in their supposedly empty house.
There was something comforting about being in the bedroom I’d occupied most of my life even if it’d only been six or seven weeks since I’d last been in there. I laid there staring at the ceiling for a while thinking and worrying about Miriam and what got into me last night. She was in Florida, basically the opposite end of the country from me, and I didn’t like it. No idea where that feeling came from but fuck it settled in my gut like bad meatloaf. I wanted her with me, beside me, in bed with me even if I’d suddenly turned into a sexual spaz. She hadn’t seemed upset by my new shortcomings which meant she must really like me. I couldn’t help smiling at that last thought. I wanted Miriam to like me.
Actually, for the first time I thought about introducing Miriam to my parents and it didn’t terrify me. My mom would love her because the introduction would, to Mom, indicate the chance for grandchildren one day. Dad would love her because she’s beautiful and funny and gives me a hard time when I needed it. I felt like a completely unprepared asshole. All these feelings inside me that I had no idea what to do with were threatening to drive me insane. Instead of going crazy, I fell asleep.
In the morning I could hear Mom and Dad in the kitchen as soon as my eyes opened. They weren’t trying to be quiet at all, which was fine. I didn’t want to sleep the day away. First I checked my phone and sure enough there was a message waiting for me from Miriam. She wanted to say good morning and that she had a packed day but ended it with a “We will talk later.” I knew what she wanted to talk about, but I needed to get my thoughts together because I had no idea what to say. Girls usually took that shit personally, although she didn’t seem to. S
till… I felt pretty fucked on this one.
I grabbed my phone and headed for the kitchen in just my pajama pants. As I rounded the corner, Mom stood at the stove obviously making Dad breakfast and let out a loud laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I asked with a smile.
Mom shrieked and spun toward me, letting the damn spatula go. Hot metal slammed into my abs then fell to the floor.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph you scared me half to death.” Mom held a hand over her heart like she was trying to keep it from escaping.
“Ouch,” I said rubbing my stomach.
“Oh shit, Sam, are you ok?” She recovered quickly, grabbing a towel, wetting it in the sink and came over to me. I wiped it across my stomach to sooth the burn and thankfully all that was left was just slightly red. It’d be gone in a day or so.
“I’m fine. But that should be your first line of defense if there’s ever an intruder. Spatula them to death.”
Mom laughed along with me.
“I didn’t know anyone else was in the house. You’re lucky I got dressed this morning.”
“Oh, gross…don’t say shit like that to me.” The thing is, I couldn’t be sure whether she was teasing or not. She shrugged me off which said nothing. My parents had been disgustingly in love for decades. In a time when the divorce rate climbed, they did weekend getaways and honeymoons every couple of years. Thankfully, she was in a two piece pajama set and Dad sat at the table fully dressed for work.
“Did we know you were coming home early?”
“I sent Dad a text. I assumed you’d know I was here.”
Dad shrugged. “Left my cell at the office yesterday.”
“Ok, well, I came home early and thankfully haven’t seen anything that will scar me for life.”
“Sam!” Mom slapped my shoulder then went back to cooking.
“Sam,” Dad said giving me that hard look. I knew what he was asking without him saying but I’d drag out answering him as long as I could.
“Jason.”
He tried so hard not to crack a smile but he and I were too much alike. And he had terrible self-control like I do.
Up for Everything (Up for Grabs #3) Page 11