“Besides,” Flannery said with a smirk. “You love her don’t you?”
My jaw clenched so tightly but I couldn’t answer her question. Not if I wanted to maintain my sanity.
She came closer, obviously enjoying what she was going to say next. “Then fucking fix it.”
She slapped her hand against my face softly, twice. Leave it to her to throw my own words back at me. But this wasn’t the same because I hadn’t done anything wrong. That I knew of anyway. Instead I looked away.
Flannery may be Cain’s wife but she’s my girl, too. One of my girls anyway since Kendra fell into that category as well. With everything settled, I sent a text to my dad who didn’t ask any questions, and I left to get a quick bag packed expecting not to sleep at all that night.
“Your dad will be ok with this?”
Since Paul was Cain’s boss I figured it was an honest question. Working for your dad had its benefits but there were definite draw backs, and Cain knew better than anyone. Expectations were high. Higher than for anyone else in the company.
“He’ll have to be.”
“Cain, why did you jump on this so quickly?”
I knew the answer. I would have done the same thing for him. I did do the same thing for him. It just didn’t involve hopping on a plane.
“Because it’s about fucking time you find out what the hell is going on with your girl.”
“She’s not my girl anymore.”
“Yeah, ok.” He said in a way I would know he was placating me.
In the morning turned out to mean almost noon. I bounced around the apartment until a decent enough hour to pick Cain up. I insisted on driving and leaving my truck at the airport because I couldn’t imagine being trapped in the passenger side of anything. I was far too amped up for that and needed to do this. He was lucky I didn’t hop in my truck the night before and drive my ass to California. Logically that would have taken too long but I hadn’t been thinking so logically last night.
We hardly talked on the plane but my leg bounced the entire way. I wanted to see her again but I didn’t. What I wanted really didn’t matter right now. I had to make sure the horrible thoughts that had been running through my head like a fucking greyhound weren’t true.
Hitting the ground in California at three thirty Detroit time meant that is was only twelve thirty so we had most of the day still ahead of us. We didn’t bother with a taxi but stopped at the rental counter because I again, I needed to control this. It was still almost two by the time I was behind the wheel of a car, pushing the speed limit like it was only a jumping off point.
I needed to get to her. Now that I was back in the same state so many things burned in my blood. I was still pissed but I couldn’t deny that the excitement at the prospect of seeing her again hid just beneath the anger. I missed her fucking face. An idea that I’d given Cain a hard time about when he and Flannery were apart in college. It was true. Now that I knew this would be the last time I laid eyes on her I was going to memorize every detail. Not that I hadn’t already.
However, getting out of the car when we sat in front of her house was even harder than I could have predicted. Cain remained still and quiet waiting for me to be ready. He’d been where I was and knew how to act. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was there but not there. Weird and about to get weirder.
The same tall blonde roommate answered the door only this time she looked somewhat put together so I didn’t think I woke her. Recognition hit her right away.
“You again.” She smiled in a way that said she felt sorry for me. “You don’t give up do ya?”
“Is Miriam home?” I didn’t want to play her game.
“Listen. I admire your tenacity but it’s been weeks man. Give it up already. If she wanted to see you, she’d call.”
I hated how right she was.
“Fuck all of that.” My temper may have been taking over at this point. “I just want to make sure she’s ok. Is she here?”
“No. And she’s fine. I told you she was dating some guy named Shane so…”
What? That’s not what she said before.
“Last time you said Steve.”
“I did?” Her eyes narrowed. “Whatever. Steve, Shane, same difference.”
“Not really. Could it have been Sam?”
“Shane, Steve, Sam, Scott. Either way. She was seeing him. He showed up here, moved all of her shit out so she doesn’t live with us anymore. Which is annoying by the way because she left us in the lurch for a new roommate.”
“Fuck,” I said under my breath. No matter the name the blonde meant, it wasn’t me. I hadn’t shown up to pack her stuff up. It wasn’t me. “Do you know where she went? Phone number? Anything?”
“We weren’t what you’d call close so I don’t. Even if I did, I couldn’t really give it out to some random stranger who seems to have a stalking issue, now could I?”
At that point I couldn’t take another minute standing there talking to her so I turned and left with Cain right behind me. She called me a bastard loud enough for me to hear then slammed the door.
“What now?” Cain asked once we were inside and the motor was running.
“We go back home. Any chance we can get on a flight tonight?”
“Home? Seriously?”
The way he looked at me told me he thought that was a pussy move but what the fuck was I supposed to do? I wasn’t a detective or anything.
That’s when I had a giant “You’re a fucking idiot” moment. I wasn’t a detective. But my dad had an awesome investigator that could probably find her within hours.
“Yes, seriously. I need to see Taylor.”
Cain would know who that was. A giant smile crossed his face, full teeth and everything.
“We’re idiots, you know that right?”
“I’m aware,” I said squealing the tires as we headed back for the airport.
Chapter Twenty
We arrived in Detroit early Monday morning. I’d already told my dad I’d be out for a few days so I slept part of the morning away. I didn’t want to but had no choice. To use Taylor, Dad’s investigator, for personal use I needed to clear it with Dad first. Late that morning I got to the office and waited for him to be free. Didn’t take long.
“I thought you were out for a few days?” He asked when he looked up to see me coming into his office.
It was the largest one in the building with huge windows. You could see the river from there. People said a lot of things about Detroit but it was still beautiful to me. Especially at night when all the lights were on.
“I am. I was. I don’t know.” I dropped into the chair across from him. “Actually, I wanted to ask you if I could use Taylor for something personal.”
His eyebrows shot up. I had to tell him everything. What I knew about the breakup, the impromptu trip to California and why I needed to find Miriam so I could sleep at night. He nodded his way through it like he got what I said. He probably did. Like I said, we’re too much alike.
“Sure, Sam. Go ahead.” He got me.
I next stopped at the door of the man himself. Taylor’s office was kind of small and down the hall from my dad’s. The place was a mess but he always seemed to know where everything was. Organized chaos. I guess if it worked for him what did it matter but being inside his office gave me the overwhelming urge to clean. And I never wanted to clean.
“Hey Taylor, do you have a minute?” I asked hovering in the doorway.
“Sure.” He dropped into a chair. Taylor wasn’t old, maybe in his mid to late forties but I never knew for sure. His salt and pepper hair made it impossible to pinpoint his age as did the fine wrinkles around his eyes. Really, it could have gone either way. “What’s up?”
“I need you to find someone for me.”
He glanced up from the computer screen watching me intently. I never asked people to do things for me if I could help it.
“I already cleared this with dad,” I added so he’d know
I was serious.
Then I told him everything I knew. Every detail Miriam told me, which honestly wasn’t much and that was a little embarrassing but still I knew Taylor would find her. He had to.
All I could do then was wait.
I did everything I was supposed to do through the rest of the week. I went to work, spent Christmas eve with the family and Christmas day with them and Cain’s family. It was all day and exhausting. Usually I loved it. Loved being with them and having fun.
Not this year.
This year everything was different. Even my sister’s normal shenanigans didn’t get me out of my funk. Ainsley tried the hardest but a nice stern look from me scared her off. After all I’m pretty sure she didn’t want me to interact with the guy she brought. At least not with the attitude I was rocking.
It was the last thing I wanted to do for sure.
Finally Friday, about to leave for the weekend, Taylor popped into my office and dropped a folder on my desk.
“You found her?” I asked, not wanting to touch the file in case it was a mirage.
“Yeah, you just wanted a location, right? I didn’t scout or get pictures.”
“An address is perfect.”
He gave a curt nod then left. It was so like Taylor.
I stared at it for five minutes before opening it. Sure as shit, when I opened it, inside was a piece of paper with Miriam’s name and address. And fuck me if the address wasn’t in Detroit, or just outside of. I’d known her parents lived here but didn’t have the first idea where to start even if the idea had ever come to me.
I guess that was what drew her to the other guy? He lived near her parents. I hadn’t mentioned wanting to move back to Michigan because I didn’t want her to think that she was the only thing keeping me in California even if she was. I didn’t want to put too much pressure on her.
It was Friday night and no way could I sit on this information for an hour let alone the weekend.
In my car, I plugged the address into the GPS. I thought I knew where it was but just to be sure I did it anyway. I didn’t want to waste a minute. I wanted this part of my life over. I wanted to make sure she was ok so I could put myself at ease and report back to Flannery and Kendra and that would be that. Over.
I could move on.
These thoughts nestled in deep by the time I pulled into the driveway of the address Taylor gave me. A long breath in and out, and I still felt the same. Fucking nervous. Miriam made me more nervous than I’d ever been in my life and even knowing what was in store, seeing her but not being able to touch her did nothing to squash that.
I knocked. Three hard raps on the door of a two story colonial, light blue. The kind of place I could see Miriam living. The door opening still startled me even if I’d been expecting it. Hell, I’d called for it.
I steeled myself as it inched away just in case I came face to face with her new guy. It wasn’t his fault so I promised myself I wouldn’t take it out on him.
It wasn’t him. It was her.
She looked so damn good that my fingers itched to thread through her hair but fuck, she looked pale and tired. Her eyes were wide as if I was the last person she’d expected to see standing on her doorstep. And I would have been. I hadn’t expected to be there myself.
In my head, I planned on talking to her parents, say whatever I needed to say to get them to tell me where she was. Then when I finally found her I planned to demand answers, tell me what the hell I did to drive her away or tell me what this other guy had that made her pick him over me and why she didn’t break up with me to my face. Yet in the moment, the first second my gaze fell on her, none of that meant anything.
Without a thought, I launched at her. My hands cupped her face like it was what they were always meant to do and my lips needed to touch hers, to own hers. It wasn’t soft and it wasn’t gentle. Everything about this kiss conveyed what I’d been feeling. At first contact, my heart beat erratically and once her lips opened so my tongue could slide in for a taste, I thought I was going to fucking lose it.
Yeah, somewhere in the back of my mind a voice screamed that I was likely kissing another guy’s girlfriend but zero fucks given. She’d been mine first. My fingers trailed along her jaw, the feel of her skin driving me crazy.
Finally, finally, I pulled back because one of us was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Her eyes lingered on mine like she was trying to see into my soul or figure me out or something.
Then she started to cry. Silently at first but her head dropped and her entire body shook. When the sobs burst from her mouth, I knew she wasn’t going to be able to speak. She brought her hands up to her face, but I could only see the tips of her fingers. She wore one of those hoodies that had the thumb holes so they were kind of gloves as well. I’d seen them on her before. I stood there like a fool for about thirty seconds. Then I took a step forward to lay my hand on her shoulder.
“Hey. It’s ok,” I said softly as the zing of touching her again coursed up my arm and straight to my fucking heart.
However, I didn’t mean to upset her. Yeah, maybe I thought she’d be pissed I tracked her down when she so clearly didn’t want to contact me, but I hadn’t expected this. She was full on melting down in front of me. Her weight must’ve become a little too much for her because she leaned into me, the top of her head in the middle of my chest, and she cried some more. Cried so hard I began to wonder if coming here at all was a good idea.
A tall man came down the staircase behind her, one I hadn’t even noticed because I’d been too focused on her. He looked a lot like her, dark hair, tint to the skin so I figured he was Israeli too which was probably another thing he had going for him that I didn’t. I tried to take a step back but she wouldn’t let me. I didn’t want to cause her more problems but she grasped my shirt in her hands so tightly I couldn’t move.
“What the fuck?” The guy said looking just past ready to kick my ass. “Who the fuck are you?” He pushed into some of my personal space the way a guy did when he was challenging another guy. It pissed me off but I couldn’t blame him.
Before I could answer, Miriam, with everything about her smelling of coconut, lifted her head like it was the hardest thing she’d ever done, took a gulp of air and looked at him with those watery brown eyes, pointed at me. “Sam.”
Asshole’s eyebrows hit the ceiling.
“Sam?”
I nodded.
“Ah, sorry about that. I’m Uri, Miriam’s brother.”
Ok, not the asshole. He took a step back but offered his hand. It was difficult to get my right arm over Miriam’s body because she’d dropped her head back against me, but I did it and shook his.
“Hey,” he said more gently. “Why don’t you come in, shut the door because it is cold as a witch’s tit. You can have seat in the living room.”
Miriam nodded so hard I thought her head was going to fall off. She tried to wipe the tears from her face but more just kept falling.
Uri took care of the door then offered up some coffee. We didn’t answer him, lost in actually seeing each other.
Damn she was a sight for sore eyes even if she looked like she’d been sick recently. He left us alone but came back with a mug for each of us.
“I’ll be upstairs if you need anything,” he said looking at Miriam.
Again, she didn’t acknowledge him.
“I can’t…” She gulped in some air. “I can’t believe you’re here. You are here right? I’m not imagining you?”
“I’m here.”
Her eyes pooled with tears silently until they became too full that the tears crept slowly down her cheeks.
I couldn’t help myself. I reached out and wiped them all away.
Miriam closed her eyes at my touch, taking in a deep breath that would hopefully calm her down.
“How are you here? How did you find me?”
This was the part I wasn’t looking forward to. Better to get it out of the way though. Some people might consider what I d
id stalking. I didn’t think she would but you never know.
“I used the investigator my dad has at the office. He can find anything.”
“He found me?”
I nodded.
“You wanted him to find me?”
“Miriam, of course I did. The way things were left…it wasn’t right. I need to know. I need to know what the hell I did to chase you away. Kendra and Flannery are worried about you too. We just need to know you’re ok.”
I could only assume Kendra was worried but no need to say that. I hadn’t actually talked to her since the night I told her to fuck off.
“What do you mean what you did wrong?” She readjusted herself and the hoodie exposed her hands both of which were covered in this weird black silicon-type shit.
I’d ignore that. It wasn’t my business anymore.
“You left without a word.”
I couldn’t stop glancing down at her hands. I tried. I failed. I couldn’t ignore it. The black covering her hands was too distracting, and I wanted to know how far up it went. It wasn’t jewelry, it wasn’t anything I’d ever seen before.
“Miriam, what is this?” I took her hand gently and moved the fabric away.
She burst into tears again. Fuck, every time she started up a knife tore through my heart.
“It’s…” She sobbed. “It’s why I left.”
I didn’t understand. So I pulled back the other sleeve to find that it went about four inches up her forearms, both of them. It was solid and smooth, and I don’t know what.
“Miriam, you’ve got to give me something here because I’m freaking the fuck out.”
She sighed and closed her eyes.
“When I got back from my last job, I was making dinner. I’m usually good in the kitchen, and I don’t know what happened but there was a grease fire. I tried to put it out. And this happened.” She lifted her hands toward me. “These are this weird new ultrasound therapy for burns. It hooks up to the machine and stimulates the area to try to make it heal faster and hopefully lessen scarring. Then it stays cool for a long time to help with residual pain.”
Up for Everything (Up for Grabs #3) Page 17