“Gee, thanks Dr. Phil,” I scoffed, throwing another empty bottle into the barrel, satisfied by the shrill crash of glass breaking. “The last time I checked, you weren’t exactly an expert when it comes to keeping a relationship together.”
Jason’s shoulders slumped forward as he clutched at the front of his shirt. I didn’t know what I’d said to cause that type of reaction out of him. I’d always thought Jason and I were alike because neither of us allowed personal drama to interfere with our success, but the somber expression on his face said otherwise. He had the look of a man who’d loved and lost at some point.
“You know, I never figured you for a dumb jock, but I’m starting to wonder if you’re so damn good on the field because you’re not the brightest bulb in the box,” Jason criticized me. He pulled the ball chain out from beneath his shirt. “Have you ever wondered why I wear these even though I was never in the military?”
I had, but figured it wasn’t my place to ask. And I’d never tried to take a closer look to see whose name was on them because I never let my gaze linger on any of the guys in the locker room. In my mind, my curiosity would have outed me and I couldn’t let that happen.
“Maybe I’m not a relationship expert, but these tags are a reminder of how much I fucked up in my own life,” he told me. He ran his fingers over the raised letters on the dog tags. “I know what it’s like to lock everything up inside because of the consequences.”
My head swam as my alcohol-dampened mind tried to process what Jason was saying. When I tried to speak, Jason held up a hand to stop me. Whatever he was trying to say, he needed me to shut up and listen.
“You can be pissed for not saying anything sooner, but you know how it is. And this isn’t something I’ve ever talked about. I’m not sure I want to now, but you need to hear it.” He steepled his fingers in front of his mouth for a while, only looking up when I gave his knee a reassuring squeeze.
“His name was Adam,” he began, his words hitching as he said the man’s name. “We met at summer camp when we were sixteen. I worked in the kitchen and he was a counselor. After the kids went to sleep, he’d come down to the beach where we’d all hang out at night. When the rest of the counselors and staff went off to do their own thing, we’d sneak up to my room since I had privacy.
“It was the best summer of my life, even though we got to the point where everyone thought we hated one another.” He laughed weakly. “You see, when you fall in love, it’s almost impossible to hide that, so we went overboard avoiding one another when anyone was around. We were terrified that he’d lose his job if anyone knew he was gay, because the parents would have flipped to know their sons were living in a cabin with a gay man. It’s so fucking wrong, but it’s the way it is.”
He removed the chain from his neck and allowed it to slide through his fingers. I didn’t say a word, because I had no idea where to begin. Yes, I was pissed that he hadn’t told me he’s gay, but more because it led to me wondering how many other guys were in the league carrying this around. I wanted to ask him what happened after that summer, but he’d struggled to share this much.
“Look, I’m going to say this and you can take it or leave it,” he added after a long pause. “If you love him, you owe it to yourself to be honest about it. Don’t be each other’s dirty little secrets. You have the opportunity to be proud of who you are and who you love. Don’t wait until it’s too late…”
He pushed himself out of the chair and walked toward the lakefront. I watched, somewhat dazed, until I no longer saw his retreating form in the darkness.
Chapter 14
Other than two quick phone calls, I hadn’t talked to Mason since the morning he left. I honestly thought that he’d go home for a day or two before coming back to my house, but he hadn’t.
After a final attempt to get ahold of him before our trip to Denver, I gave up. He’d told me it wasn’t goodbye, but it sure as hell seemed like it every time he didn’t answer my calls. As we waited to board the plane back to Milwaukee, I decided I’d try one last time to pin him down to talk before giving up for good.
I called Abi and asked her to pack what I would need for tonight and tomorrow and drop it off at my car before the plane landed. I didn’t want to waste a single minute I had to spend with Mason since we were on borrowed time as it was. Now that the doctors cleared him to play, it’d be nearly impossible for us to get any time to sit down and hash out whatever was going on between us.
Angel and I sat down together to run through tape of Nashville’s last few series. If I got lucky, I’d manage to convince Mason to sit down with me and possibly give me a fresh perspective. He thought that giving me space was what I needed to stay focused, but every day we spent apart proved how wrong he was. I needed him next to me, helping me find what I was missing. As corny as it sounded, Mason was my secret weapon.
The drive to Mason’s place was anything but relaxing. As I wove my way around slower traffic, the doubts started filling my mind. As many times as I warned myself that a relationship with Mason couldn’t last, it threw me that it ended so quickly. The only conclusion I could draw was that he was trying to put a bit of space between us. Whatever it was that was growing between us had been moving at lightning speed and baseball gave him the excuse he needed to leave. Hell, my attraction to him terrified me, and the only change I had to get used to was that I was in a relationship rather than having no-strings sex. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like for him to be in a new relationship, with a man, while working to get rid of the Ice Queen.
My body didn’t begin to relax until I paid the outrageous parking fee at a lot down the street from Mason’s building. As I walked down the empty sidewalk to the front of his building, I wondered if I was getting ready to make an ass out of myself.
I used the key Abi left in the center console of my car to let myself into the condo. I had expected to find him vegged out in front of the TV or reading a book, but the place was silent. I quietly walked back to the bedroom, hoping to catch him sleeping, but the bed was made and untouched. When I texted him, the notification sounded from in the kitchen.
“Mace, you out there?” I called as I walked back to the kitchen. My mind started racing with all sorts of screwed up scenarios. It wasn’t like him to go anywhere without his phone. “Dammit, Mason, where are you?”
Before I worked myself up to a full-blown panic attack, I heard the lock turning on the front door. This wasn’t the reunion I’d hoped for, but it didn’t matter as long as Mason understood that I wanted to be there for him, whether or not he’d admit to needing me. As soon as I saw a perfectly manicured hand wrap around the edge of the door, I regretted driving back down without telling Mason. Three was most definitely a crowd, especially for the one person whose last name wasn’t Atley.
“Mason, it’s time for you to quit hiding so we can talk like two reasonable adults,” Teresa screeched as she let herself in. She saw me as she slammed the door and the disgusted look in her eyes was nearly feral. “I should have known that you would be here. Is it safe to assume that you and my husband are playing house now that he’s dumped me like last week’s garbage?”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” I spat as I watched her drag a suitcase through the condo and into the master bedroom. The bitch had clearly lost her damn mind. Unless… was she the reason Mason hadn’t been returning my calls? Had he realized she would give him what I never could? That thought stung enough that I had to turn away in case my eyes started to gloss over.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She sneered, perching herself on the edge of Mason’s favorite chair in the living room, her hands folded over her crossed knees. Before I could slink out the door, a little voice in my head reminded me that she’d blasted into the room demanding that Mason talk to her. No way had Mason ignored me for her. I did, however, find it more than a bit ironic that we’d both showed up unannounced to try to mend our relationships with him.
I wanted to start hurling acc
usations at her, but it wasn’t my place. Not only that, but it could have screwed up whatever plan Mason and his lawyer were hatching to get her to slink away quietly.
“Nothing, at all,” I bit out. I grabbed a bottle of water before heading into the living room to get as comfortable as I could. I had no clue how Teresa had gotten a key to his place or why she was here, but there was no way in hell I was going to leave her unattended. She perched herself on one of the high barstools at the breakfast bar and glared at me. I chuckled as I wondered whether she was working to put some sort of hex on me, because she sure looked like a witch with her pointy black shoes, straight black hair and long fingernails.
The front door opened once more, and I swore Mason looked about ready to puke or pass out as his eyes bounced from me to the Ice Queen sitting on her throne. Whatever was about to happen, it wasn’t going to be pretty and I figured my presence would only make it worse.
“You two talk. I’m going to run out for something to eat,” I said as I crossed to the door. There was no way I could eat, but it was the first excuse that came to mind. And believable, since I hadn’t stopped on the way down here.
“You don’t have to leave,” Mason informed me, wrapping his arm around my biceps. “You’re welcome here. She is not. In fact, I’m certain she was getting ready to leave.”
“Mason, sweetie, we need to sit down and talk,” she said, so sweetly that my back teeth started to hurt. It seemed him not being here when she first walked in gave her time to put on her game face so she could play the victim if necessary. It was the role she seemed to think she was destined to play. “I don’t know what’s going on, but if you’d just come home we could figure it all out.”
“There’s nothing for me to say to you, Teresa,” he said curtly as he walked down the hall to his bedroom to change out of his workout clothes. “What in the ever-living fuck is this?” he yelled, returning moments later with Teresa’s suitcase.
“I’ve been staying with a friend in Florida and flew in early so I could talk to you,” she responded casually. “The only way we’re going to sort this out is if we spend some time together.”
I couldn’t help my snort of laughter. She turned to glare at me and the petty voice in the back of my head was screaming to point out the fine lines around her mouth and the corners of her eyes. I wanted to make this woman feel as ugly on the outside as she was on the inside, which was completely unlike me.
“Then you’re delusional,” Mason hollered. “There is no us, and there’s nothing to be worked out, other than the details tomorrow when we meet with our lawyers.”
He looked so damn smug that I wanted to walk over and plant a kiss on his gorgeous face. I wouldn’t, but it was tempting.
“How can you say that?” she asked, clutching her hand over her chest.
Rather than dignify her with a verbal response, Mason simply picked up the papers that were on the kitchen counter and tossed them in her direction. “Baby, I know you’re upset, but there has to be a way we can work this out. You never even gave me a chance to explain what you saw. Please, give me some time and you’ll see that this was all a huge misunderstanding.”
I had never in my life hit a woman, but Teresa was well on her way to being the first. Every time she opened her mouth, it seemed she dug the hole a bit deeper, but I knew that she was also tearing Mason apart with these games. Insecurity crept into my mind, and I was terrified that he was going to believe her and give her another chance. After all, she was the one he pledged his life to, not me.
Once again, I moved toward the door, desperately needing to get away from this situation. If I was there as a friend, it’d be one thing, but I wasn’t. I was there to get Mason back, to love him the way he deserves to be loved, and I felt dirty being a part of what I hoped was the final battle of his marriage.
I found a seat in the courtyard garden and buried my head in my hands, wondering what I was doing here. I’d gone so long without anyone in my life, and I couldn’t help but think this was part of the reason why. My heart and my mind were sending me two very different messages, and I wasn’t sure which to follow.
It hurt more than I cared to admit to hear that he was meeting with the lawyers about the divorce tomorrow. Before we’d screwed things up, he would have told me something like that. A young couple walked into the courtyard and didn’t seem to be in any hurry to go further, so I stood and walked toward the front gate. I needed to make a phone call, and I couldn’t do that where someone might overhear me. The only place privacy was guaranteed was in my car, and a drive would further help me clear my head.
I sent Mason a text letting him know I’d be back later and asked him to let me know when Teresa was gone. Until then, I had no intention of turning the car around to head back into the city. It was going to be hard enough knowing she had been there at all.
Jason offered to meet me north of the city so I could buy him a much-needed beer, and I agreed after he pointed out that driving aimlessly while I had so much on my mind likely wasn’t the best idea. An hour later, we were tucked in a booth at the back of a dark neighborhood bar with a pitcher between us. He filled our glasses and we caught up on everything else that had been going on since the last time we’d had a chance to sit down like this. The longer we sat, the more at ease I felt about everything, and I realized why as soon as I stood up.
My legs were unsteady and everything shifted in and out of focus. I looked at Jason, confused because it didn’t seem like we’d been there that long, and he laughed. “Buddy, I’m thinking you’re going to have to call that man of yours,” he slurred, holding up the empty pitcher. “I told the waitress to keep them coming, and apparently she took me seriously.”
I wanted to be pissed at Jason for inadvertently getting us hammered, but I had to admit I wasn’t nearly as agitated as I had been earlier. Of course, I didn’t think Mason was going to be amused when he had to pour our drunk asses into the car.
I pulled out my phone and cringed when I realized Mason had texted over three hours earlier. And again two hours ago, and forty-five minutes ago. And he’d called twenty minutes ago, but I didn’t hear the phone ring over the drone of the jukebox playing bad pop music.
I excused myself and stumbled out the back door, thankful that it wasn’t armed in any way. It was going to be bad enough calling Mason while drunk, I didn’t want to further upset him by making it hard to hear me, too.
“What the fuck, Sean?” he answered on the second ring. “You tell me you’re going for a drive to give me time alone with the bitch, and then you don’t answer? I was about ready to start calling every hospital I could find a number for!”
Shit, I couldn’t remember the last time Mason had been this pissed off, and I was certain I’d never been on the receiving end. “Mace, I’m so, so sorry. And you can bitch at me all you want later, but right now, I kinda need you to do me a favor.”
“Are you drunk? Jesus, Sean! You have to start tomorrow, and you’re out tying one on? I thought you were smarter than that,” He scolded me and then the line went quiet. I had to look at the phone to make sure it was still connected. It gave me a strange thrill to know that even though we hadn’t been speaking, he’d kept track of the starting rotation.
“Baby, I said I’m sorry,” I whined. “But that’s why I’m calling. I need you to come and get us because we can’t drive.”
“Us? Who’s ‘us’?” His words were getting more clipped and I knew it was going to take a while before he calmed down.
“I called Jason and he said I shouldn’t be driving while I was upset, so he drove down and we probably should have stopped after the last pitcher,” I confessed, hoping that I’d get points for knowing that I’d screwed up.
“Jason?” he asked, a tinge of jealousy creeping into his voice.
“Klein. Are you coming or not?” I asked, more than a bit nervous standing in the alley where anyone could eavesdrop.
“Fine, text me where you’re at and I’ll be there
as soon as I can,” he grumbled. “And Sean?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“Drink some water. A lot of it.” This time, there was no doubt that he’d disconnected the call, so I headed inside to let Jason know our savior was on his way. I had some seriously groveling to do once I sobered up.
Mason was quiet on the way back to his house. Too quiet. It was the type of silence that left me wondering what had happened while I was getting plastered. Jason was passed out in the backseat, but I didn’t trust myself to ask Mason what was going on, knowing that if I didn’t like what he had to say, I’d lose my shit and probably wake up my friend.
I watched Mace help Jason into the spare bedroom while I grabbed another huge glass of water. I shouldn’t have left him to pick up the mess on his own, but I was in no shape to guide anyone anywhere. I’d be lucky to get to Mason’s room without bouncing off the walls like a pinball.
“Come on, you damn lush,” Mason teased. “You two are both royally fucked tomorrow if you don’t sleep off this drunk.”
Other than the one night, Mason and I hadn’t spent much time at his place. He said it was because my place felt like a home, where his was just a place to stay. I understood that. I also wondered if he still felt that way. I didn’t like the idea of him staying here, knowing that Teresa had managed to get a key to the place.
When I flipped on the light on my side of the bed, I stumbled and fell to the bed. Sitting on the nightstand was a picture I was certain I’d never seen before, yet I remembered that day vividly. While it sounded melodramatic, the day Mason got married was one of the shittiest days of my adult life. The framed image next to his bed was of the two of us, both dressed in tuxes, playing a game of catch in the snowy courtyard behind the church. It was the only time that day I saw a truly carefree smile on his face.
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