Why did he suddenly feel as if he was making a big mistake?
“Yes. Just like before,” Kyle said quietly.
Cade nodded. He rubbed his face with one hand, looking exhausted. He stood abruptly. “I’m going to take a shower.” And without another word, he grabbed a towel from the hotel closet and disappeared into the bathroom.
Kyle fell back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He felt numb inside. He wondered if his impulsive decision had been a foolish one. He cried then, tears rolling into his hair.
By the time Cade came out again, Kyle had rolled onto his side, facing the opposite direction. He could hear Cade padding in. There was still more than an hour left before they had to go to breakfast and Kyle wondered how he could handle much more of this tense silence.
“I’m starving.”
Kyle looked over his shoulder, surprised. Cade was smiling at him ruefully. He was shirtless, skin damp and pale. Kyle rolled onto his back, but looked away. “Me too,” he said. If Cade was going to try, he would too.
“I always feel hungry these days.”
Kyle nodded. He felt miserable. He didn’t know how Cade was talking, but maybe Cade was secretly relieved? Maybe this had been what he’d wanted all along. The thought made Kyle feel even more pessimistic. He closed his eyes and wished he was anywhere else, far away. Away from this mess.
He could feel his bed dipping and his eyes snapped open. Cade was sitting on his bed, wearing only a towel, hair wet. His expression was very tender.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t think you’re selfish. If you want us to be friends, then- I’ll do that for you.”
Hearing it from Cade somehow made it worse. Kyle felt hollow and horrified. Did that mean no more kisses from Cade? No more touches? He wished, suddenly, that they could have made love, just once. Just one night together.
But he was so afraid of losing him. The fear was perhaps irrational, but it was so strong in Kyle, it seemed to eclipse everything else he wanted.
Kyle said nothing, just looked at him, his eyes pleading, but he didn't know for what. Cade leaned forward. “Tell me what you’re afraid of.”
“You,” Kyle said softly.
“Why me?”
“I’m afraid we’ll break up.”
Cade sighed a little. “Even if we do, why is that scary? I won’t walk out of your life.”
Kyle took a deep shuddering sigh. “I don’t know how I could survive it if you broke up with me and stopped talking to me.”
Cade smiled a little. “I would never stop talking to you. Never. You’ll be old and tottering around with your cane and I’ll still be chasing you with my walker.”
Something loosened in Kyle’s chest. Something hard and scary. “But what if I make you mad?”
Cade’s eyes were very warm. “You make me mad a hundred times a day. And you’ve been doing that for years and years. I haven’t left yet, have I?”
“But it’s different when we’re in a relationship.”
“I know. But I love you so much, Kyle. How could I ever leave you?”
The words were akin to ice on a burn. He was still panicking, but at least he could breathe now. “And what about the long distance?”
“We can fly to see each other. We can Skype. We can text. We can call.”
“But it won’t be the same.”
Cade laughed softly. “I feel like you’ve got an answer to everything.” He sobered. “I’m not saying it’d be a walk in the park. But I want you, Kyle.”
Kyle’s breath caught in his chest. He closed his eyes. “Again,” he whispered.
“I want you, Kyle.”
Kyle opened his eyes and looked at Cade. Cade was looking at him seriously, eyes dark and intense. Kyle reached out and touched Cade’s arm, pulling him gently. “Again.”
Cade came willingly, one hand on his towel while the other maintained his balance. He scooted up right next to Kyle, hip against hip, his hand bracing himself on Kyle’s other side. “I want you, baby. I want you so much.”
“Again,” Kyle gasped, choking up as his eyes filled with tears. He was still pulling on Cade’s arms, wanting to feel his touch.
Cade leaned forward, resting most of his body on Kyle’s, their lips almost touching. “I want you. I want you. I want you.”
“Again.”
This time, Cade spoke the words directly into Kyle’s mouth, lips brushing softly, gently. “I want you.”
Kyle shivered and wrapped his arms around Cade’s neck. Cade buried his face into Kyle, hugging him back hard. They were quiet for a long time, just embracing. Then Cade pulled back, his hand going back to his towel. It was coming a little loose and he reddened.
Kyle plucked at Cade, trying to make him lie down again. He felt scared when Cade wasn’t touching him.
“Let me just put on some shorts.”
Kyle shook his head, but Cade laughed. “It’ll just take one second. I’ll be back.” He kissed Kyle’s palm quickly and scrambled off the bed.
Kyle propped himself up on his elbows, staring unashamedly. Cade flushed, took his shorts and went into the bathroom. Kyle sighed, but leaned back. Cade came back, wearing a tshirt and shorts and climbed back into bed, sitting next to Kyle.
Kyle picked at Cade’s shirt. “You said you were only going to wear shorts.”
“Well. We’ll talk first, then I’ll take it off,” Cade said wickedly, leaning forward to kiss Kyle gently. He tugged on Kyle’s hands after breaking the kiss. “Sit up.”
Kyle sat, propping a pillow behind him. Cade sat cross-legged in front of him, both of them close. Cade took his hand, rubbing it slowly between his fingers.
“Tell me why you’re so afraid that I’ll leave you. Don’t you trust me?”
Kyle nodded. “I do. I just- I can’t believe that you could stay with someone like me.”
Cade shook his head. “Well, next time, come and talk to me, okay? Don’t make rash decisions. Just wake me up and we’ll talk. And I’ll convince you.” There was a mischievous glint in Cade’s eyes that made Kyle smile for the first time that day.
Kyle felt a little foolish now. “I’m sorry. I-I just freaked out. I had a panic attack.”
“I know. And that’s okay. But next time, you have to talk to me. You can’t shut me out like that.”
Kyle nodded. Cade crept a little closer. “And what do you mean someone like you?”
Kyle looked at Cade, so close that Kyle could see every beautiful eyelash. Kyle’s heart began to beat a little faster. “I don’t know.”
“Kyle, you are so incredible. Do you have any idea what a wonderful person you are? You’re warm and funny and affectionate. Everyone loves you. You’re always the life of the party. Look at me. All I can do is football. But you’re amazing in every way.”
Cade was leaning very close now. “And do you know how sexy you are?”
Kyle’s mouth went very dry.
“I think about your body and it makes me ache. You make me so hard.” Cade’s hand was on Kyle’s stomach now, flat and pressing. “You don’t know how much I want to fuck you.”
Involuntarily, Kyle moaned, but it was stifled by Cade’s mouth on his. Kyle pressed his body against Cade’s, aching for him. Cade broke the kiss, gasping, and leaned against the headboard, stretching his legs out.
“Come here.”
Kyle straddled him, kissing him fiercely. Cade’s hands were on Kyle’s ass now, squeezing, pulling him against his crotch. Their cocks rubbed together through their clothes and Kyle moaned, grinding against Cade.
Cade slipped his hands under Kyle’s shirt, rubbing and clawing his burning skin. His fingers were splayed widely like he couldn’t get enough. Kyle leaned back, breaking the kiss, and pulled his shirt over his head.
He reached for Cade’s and tossed it aside, too, grinning at each other. Their mouths were back on each other, desperate, hot. Kyle kept rocking on Cade’s lap, rubbing their crotches together. It felt so good and Cade was so hard.<
br />
He wanted to have Cade’s cock in his mouth now and he reached for Cade’s shorts. Cade grabbed Kyle’s hands bound them with a fist behind Kyle’s back. Kyle whined in his mouth, biting Cade’s lip in desperation. Cade chuckled against Kyle’s lips, slowing their kisses a little.
Kyle wondered where Cade had gotten all this patience from. Didn’t the man want some release? How could he control himself like this?
Kyle tried to deepen the kiss, but Cade kept the kisses frustratingly light, purposely teasing him. He rocked hard against Cade, trying desperately to make him lose his cool.
But Cade was calm as ever, one hand coming up to play with Kyle’s nipples. Kyle arched a little, still maintaining the kiss. “Mm,” he keened into Cade’s mouth, harder than ever.
The pleasure was pumping through Kyle’s veins, but he was determined not to come in his shorts again like a horny teenager. He forced himself to slow down, but his skin was on fire and he was so desperate for Cade that he couldn’t help himself from bucking hard.
Cade broke the kiss, panting. He kissed the side of Kyle’s neck and Kyle leaned his head back. Cade sucked hard there and then blew on it softly, making Kyle moan his name. Cade’s fingers slid down Kyle’s abs, even as his mouth was making its way down Kyle’s chest.
He licked Kyle’s nipples slowly, teasingly, distracting Kyle from the hand that moved ever closer to Kyle’s crotch. Kyle whimpered, his hands still bound behind his back. He struggled a little and Cade let him go.
Kyle slid his hands into Cade’s hair, arching against Cade’s mouth. He felt like he was burning everywhere, his skin hot and his cock aching, leaking.
Cade’s hand - the sneaky one - was slipping into Kyle’s shorts. Kyle moaned, pulling Cade’s head up, desperate to kiss him. He must have pulled a little hard because Cade flinched a little, but didn’t complain as Kyle kissed him hungrily, sliding his tongue in Cade’s mouth.
Cade sucked his lower lip, taking it between his teeth and nibbling. His hand found Kyle’s cock and grasped it. It was hot, hard, and pulsing under his palm. Kyle gasped against his lips. Cade stroked him slowly, dragging the skin.
Kyle writhed, feeling like he was going mad. “Again,” he said on a shuddering breath.
“I want you, Kyle,” Cade said in a low voice, against Kyle’s mouth.
It made Kyle harder, and he kissed Cade sloppily, all tongues and teeth. Cade’s hand was maddeningly slow and Kyle was moaning and arching up in Cade’s hands. “Please, please.”
Cade broke the kiss and took out Kyle’s cock. Kyle could feel Cade’s own bulge pulsing hard on his thigh as Cade looked down at him. The sight of Cade eye his cock, red, leaking, and hard was so hot Kyle moaned.
Cade looked up at the sound, kissing Kyle hard. He was grinding against Kyle now, his hand firm as he continued to beat Kyle off. Kyle was gasping and sighing. “Fuck, Cade, fuck.”
He couldn’t breathe and he pushed Cade’s head away. He closed his eyes and bit his lip. Cade’s hand was so good, dragging Kyle’s skin back and forth. “Fuck, Cade, I love you, fuck.”
He blabbed on and on, on the verge of coming as Cade, instead of speeding up, slowed down. Kyle whimpered, his eyes opening. “Please.”
Cade stopped his hand and pulled Kyle down to kiss him again. Cade was panting too now. He was grinding his crotch firmly against Kyle’s thigh and he was flushed. Kyle sobbed against his mouth. “You bastard. Please, please.”
Then Cade started again, but this time, his hand moved like lightning, stroking hard and fast. Kyle cried out loud at the sudden pleasure, Cade’s tongue in his mouth.
Cade pulled back a little and whispered, “I want you.”
And Kyle came. It felt like he wouldn’t stop coming, his cock pulsing and throbbing. He shot hot cum all over Cade’s chest and hand. Cade’s hand was still moving, slowing now, as he reached up to kiss Kyle again.
Kyle moaned and kissed Cade, feeling the aftershocks everywhere. He noticed a small drop of his own cum on Cade’s cheek, close to the corner of his mouth. He grinned and lapped it up in another sloppy kiss.
Finally, he reached down and held Cade’s wrist. “Stop. It’s too much.”
Cade pulled him close, kissing him, calming him down. Kyle was shaking, almost weak. “Shhh,” Cade whispered.
Kyle could feel Cade throbbing against his thigh and this time, he pushed back, determined to take care of him. He reached for Cade’s crotch, but Cade caught his hand. “No, Kyle. Not yet.”
Kyle frowned. “Why?”
“I’m not ready. I need some time.”
Kyle clambered off, feeling cold. He realized his cock was still out and he flushed, pulling a tissue quickly from the nightstand. He handed one to Cade before grabbing one for himself, wiping himself quickly and tucking his cock back in his shorts.
“Why aren’t you ready?”
Cade smiled. “It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you. But I’ve never had sex with a guy. I mean, I can’t say I’ve ever been attracted to one, apart from you. It’s hard to wrap my brain around. I just need a little time.”
Kyle nodded, still feeling a little odd. Cade leaned across and pecked his cheek. “Stop overthinking.”
That made Kyle laugh. “Okay,” he said, grinning, kissing him back.
Cade pulled back after a little while. “We have to get ready.”
Kyle groaned, pressing into him. “No, please. We’ll skip it.”
Cade laughed. “I’ll go take a shower, okay? Then we’ll go to breakfast.”
Then, with Kyle grumbling and pouting, Cade kissed him and went into the bathroom.
Kyle fell back on the bed and felt a lightness spread through his body. He realized it was joy. He hadn’t been this happy in a long, long time.
Smiling, he went to put on his training clothes and knew it was going to be a good day.
A very good one.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Training was probably the most fun Kyle had had in a long time. He knew it was because of Cade, and it made everything seem beautiful and hilarious. He spent half the training laughing in joy and the other playing football with the kind of enthusiasm he usually reserved for matches.
Emerson was pleased at both his hard work, and his playful mood was rubbing off on everyone else, relaxing everyone’s stretched nerves and generally promoting a feeling of well-being. Cade was quiet as always, though he smiled often and winked at Kyle whenever their eyes met.
Kyle found those winks highly distracting and disorienting, like he was drunk on Cade’s stare, so he avoided him, preferring to warm up next to Perry and generally keep him company. Perry seemed pleased with this arrangement and when Kyle scored a goal, they danced, celebrating just a little more than usual just to annoy everyone else.
Mason, hands on his hips, shook his head, smiling.
But Kyle’s mood couldn’t be deflated. He knew Cade was often watching him, his eyes warm, but Kyle didn’t care. Well, he did, but he forced himself not to look too much at him. That seemed futile, though, because they always seemed to end up next to each other, fingers brushing, thighs touching as Cade passed him.
Once, Kyle was frowning and listening to Emerson’s tactics, and when he backed up, still deep in thought, he bumped right into Cade. Surprised - hadn’t Cade been on the other side of the huddle? - he flushed deeply and hurried off, ignoring Cade’s chuckle.
He figured out only later that Cade was doing it on purpose, whether to tease Kyle or just to flirt with him. It only made Kyle giddier and his mood kept climbing, and even when Mason tackled him so hard that he sprawled on the ground, he only laughed, half-groaning in pain.
It was Cade who came over to pull him up, leaning over him. The position was so reminiscent of last night that Kyle blushed like a beet and smacked Cade’s calf, knowing he was doing it on purpose. Cade’s eyes were wicked and he grinned, hands tugging Kyle’s, deftly hoisting him to his feet.
When they went back to the lockers, Kyle skipped ahead, deter
mined not to have to deal with Cade’s shirtless chest. He rushed quickly to the showers before any of his teammates had even entered the locker room.
He didn’t linger in the shower like he usually did, thinking to change before Cade finished showering so that he wouldn’t have to deal with those stupid knowing eyes. But as he walked back to the lockers, towel draped over his hips, there was Cade, sitting on the bench, showered and dressed, smiling up at him in triumph.
“How?”
Cade laughed. “Serves you right. I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t gone running into the showers.” His voice was low.
Everyone had disappeared into the showers and although they could come out any time, Kyle and Cade were temporarily alone. Kyle felt his cheeks reddening and he raised his chin, shaking his head at Cade.
“I didn’t run. I was lightly jogging to cool down,” Kyle grumbled, walking to his locker, heart beating a little faster.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cade standing up. He could feel him walking up to his back. His hands shook a little, but he tried to act like he didn’t know - and didn’t care.
“It seems like you aren’t cooled down at all,” Cade said right behind him, his voice full of laughter.
Kyle looked over his shoulder and immediately regretted it. Cade was so close. His hair was still damp and he smelled of that familiar shampoo and soap. Kyle had come to associate it with Cade to such an extent that he sometimes got hard when he smelled it.
He forgot everything he was going to say at the sight of Cade, smiling, dimpling.
He looked back into his locker, head whirling. Cade was laughing softly and the sound galvanized Kyle into action, forcing him to try and retain some semblance of pride. “I’m cool. I’ve always been cool. Speak for yourself.”
“Lucky you. Because I’m definitely feeling very hot right now.” And with that line, Cade pressed his hips against Kyle’s ass.
Kyle gasped. Cade was very hard, very big and he was rubbing his cock up and down in between his cheeks. Kyle closed his eyes in shock, grasping the wall of lockers in front of him and leaning his forehead against the inside of his locker door.
Unfair Game: A Gay Sports Romance Novel Page 10