by Mary Monroe
When he was finally satisfied, he pulled me up to his lap. I braced myself because I had no idea what he was going to do to me next. What he did do surprised me. He gently placed his head on my shoulder and cried like a baby. “I . . . I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I love you, Dolores. I don’t want to lose you. . . .” We stayed that way for about ten minutes without speaking, with him patting my shoulder and moaning under his breath. His pants were still unzipped, and he was still aroused. The tip of his rock-hard dick stuck out like the barrel of a gun.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say, Paul. I had no reason to cheat on you. . . .”
He gave me the strangest look before he burst into tears again. There was nothing more disturbing to me than to see a grown man cry. Floyd had cried after he got out of prison, but that was different. He’d had every reason in the world to cry. He still did from time to time. But Paul was just straight-up drunk and disappointed in me because I’d been unfaithful. “I was glad when I found out what you’d done. . . .” he said in a low voice. My mouth dropped open again. He sniffed. “It made me feel better about what I’d done. I was taking my guilt out on you just now.”
“You cheated on me?” I reared back and gave him a hard look. Now I was ready to take a few swings at his face with my fist. But I knew better.
There was a contrite look on his face as he nodded. “Baby, it just happened. That heifer came at me with both guns blasting. TWICE! That no-good wench took advantage of me in my own office, right there on the top of my desk with your framed picture just inches away! And if that wasn’t bad enough, a few weeks later she lured me to her tacky apartment in Half Moon Bay and made a fool out of me again! My mama was right. You’re not the only jezebel in my life.” His last comment made me flinch, but I let it slide because it was true. Paul sniffed again and gave me a pleading look. “She meant nothing to me. She wasn’t even that clean! I . . . I could still smell her on me even after I’d bathed and scrubbed myself raw.”
I started to rise from the sofa. “Paul, you can do whatever you want, but I’m going back to L.A. tonight.” My luggage was still on the floor by the door.
“And I’m coming with you, baby. We need to be together so we can fix things,” he said, rising, too. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to the sofa. I put my arm around his shoulder and patted his back affectionately, like he was the one who needed to be comforted. “Let me throw a few things into a suitcase and we can be on our way.”
“Paul, I need to be alone for a few days,” I said, talking slowly. I rubbed my scalp where he had pulled my hair. “Please stay up here. When things settle, we can talk and decide what we need to do.”
“What do you mean by that? I know what we need to do! We need to get some counseling or have a baby, or anything else you want. This can be fixed,” he insisted, looking completely desperate now. It hurt to see how much my tryst with Marvin had hurt my husband. I couldn’t imagine how he would feel if he knew about Floyd. I knew now, more than ever, that Floyd was one “indiscretion” that I had to do whatever it took to conceal.
CHAPTER 54
I am not the kind of person who likes to use a lot of clichés. But if there ever was one that applied to me now, it was “when it rains, it pours.” Shit was raining down on my head so hard I needed a hard hat.
Paul insisted on going back to L.A. with me. I had tried to talk him out of it, but I’d failed. I gave him another blow job, hoping it would make him change his mind. But that didn’t do any good, either. We had to wait several hours to get on the next flight. By the time we got home, we were both more than a little cranky. And then there was that business of my affair with Marvin, and his with some nameless bitch he would only refer to as “that heifer.” We agreed not to discuss our affairs again until we got in front of a marriage counselor. Despite everything that had happened, I didn’t believe in divorce. Therefore, I was determined to save my marriage to Paul, and to Floyd.
Shortly after we got home, I dragged Paul to bed. After I made sure he was asleep, I closed the bedroom door and went into the kitchen to check all my voice mail messages. Valerie had left me a message to call her back ASAP. Floyd thought I was on the ship on my way to Puerto Vallarta, so I had not expected him to call. But there was a message from him, too, telling me that he loved me and couldn’t wait to see me again. I shook my head and let out a deep, loud sigh.
I called Valerie up. “Will you be my bridesmaid?” she cooed.
“Oh my God! Russell proposed?” As bad as I wanted to talk to her about my confrontation with Paul, I didn’t. This was her moment, and I didn’t want to spoil it.
“Yes! No, not exactly. I proposed. But he admitted that he was planning to do it soon, anyway. Oh, I wish that Mama and Paw Paw were here to experience this. Here I am, a woman nipping at the heels of middle age. Both my baby sister and my baby brother have been married for years. I was beginning to think that it was never going to happen for me.” Valerie released a muffled sob. “Lo, I’ve been jealous of you ever since we met. But I didn’t mean any harm. Now that I finally got what I’ve always wanted, I’ll never be jealous of you, or any other woman, ever again. I . . . I am finally where I want to be!”
“Oh,Valerie. Honey, I am so happy for you. Have you made the announcement yet?”
“That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. Do you mind if Russell and I share our good news at your party? Now if you don’t want us to, that’s fine. I don’t want to steal any of your thunder. But there will be a few bitches that I can’t stand at your party, and I would love to rub this in their smug faces.”
“Of course you can make the announcement there.” I let out a loud tired breath.
“Lo, is everything all right? Your voice just cracked.”
“It did? Uh, I’m fine.”
“Where’s Paul? How was dinner? How’s the weather up there? Are you going to do much shopping in Frisco?”
“Valerie, I’m back in L.A. and so is Paul. We had a little misunderstanding. I want to talk to you about it, but I don’t think this is the right time. I need to get Paul’s black ass back up to the Bay Area tomorrow. I’ll call you then.” I cleared my throat, but now even I could hear my voice cracking. “Valerie, I am really and truly happy for you. I can’t say it enough. If anybody deserves to be happy, it’s you. I never gave up hope on you. Whatever you do, don’t make as big a mess out of your life as I’ve made out of mine.”
“Lo, do you want to meet me somewhere tonight? I’m worried about you.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I said. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get some sleep. And you should do the same. We’re both going to need it.” I hung up, but I held the telephone in my hand for a few minutes just looking at it. I needed to talk to somebody, but not Valerie. I closed my eyes and recalled a telephone number that I had dialed only once and memorized without even trying. But there it was, right in front of my mind. All of a sudden, it seemed like my fingers had taken on a life of their own. I couldn’t control them. I felt disembodied as I watched my fingers tip and tap around on the telephone pad until they tipped and tapped Marvin Meecham’s number. The same man who was responsible for the mess that I had stepped into with Paul!
“Yeah,” he said, in a sleepy but still sexy voice.
“Marvin, this is Dolores. Listen, I don’t want anything. I just want to talk.”
“What about?”
“Uh, just to say hi. I just had a rough evening with my husband, and I was feeling kind of down in the dumps.”
“Oh. Well, I am sorry to hear about that. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Some nosy busybody that works at the hotel recognized me. They told my husband about us checking into a room,” I revealed, speaking in a quiet and level tone of voice, despite the fact that I was slightly nervous.
“Oh shit!”
“He didn’t take it too well.”
“Pffff! I guess not! I wouldn’t either. But it�
��s too late to worry about that now. Is that the reason you called me up? Isn’t this kind of like closing the barn door after the mule has been stole?”
I laughed. “I guess you could say that. Well, I wasn’t the only one creeping on the side. He had a confession of his own.”
“That’s a man for you.” Marvin laughed. “Where is your old man now?”
“So fucking drunk he wouldn’t know if the house was on fire. He’s sleeping it off. I’m going to put him on a plane back to the Bay Area, first thing in the morning.” Marvin’s silence told me that he had some questions about my marriage. I decided to answer a few before he asked them. “He works up in Alameda, and we have a pretty liberal marriage. He cheated on me with some heifer he works with. Twice!”
“Well, what do you feel worse about? You cheating on him with me or him cheating on you with that heifer?”
“I don’t know what I feel right now. Listen, I’ll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing. I am sorry for disturbing you.”
“Let me ask you again—is there anything I can do for you?”
“Well . . .”
“Dolores, let’s cut out all this bullshit. All of my roommates are in Vegas. Why don’t you come over to my place? Shit.”
I gasped. “What? My husband is here.”
“So drunk he wouldn’t know if the house was on fire, ain’t he?”
“I don’t think so, Marvin. I’ve already crossed a line I should not have crossed in the first place.”
“So did your old man. TWICE! Don’t you want to make things even? Look, baby, he already knows what you did. What else have you got to lose? You sound like you’re in a lot of pain. The least I can do is listen to you. Talking helps, you know. That’s why you called me in the first place, ain’t it now?”
“I guess. I needed to talk to somebody, and you were the only person I could think of. That’s all . . .”
“Talk? That’s all? Well, let’s talk face to face. I’ll leave the porch light on . . .”
“Can I think about it for a little while?”
“Dolores, listen to me. You get in your car and get over here now, before I change my mind.”
It took me five minutes to get out the door.
CHAPTER 55
I couldn’t figure out what it was about men that made me such a fool for them. Just loving them the way I did was all it took for me to lose my perspective. I had never talked to a professional, but I had a feeling that my foolishness had something to do with my biological background. I knew enough about my mother to know that she had no use for me. But I knew absolutely nothing about my father, and that emptiness had a lot to do with my wanting a male in the highest possible position in my life. I had no brothers to speak of, or any male children. So for me the next best thing was a husband. Or in my case, a couple of husbands. However, I knew that sooner or later, something would happen that would bring me to my senses. It was bound to happen because of all the stupid shit I pulled. Juggling two husbands had become a full-time job. I wanted to keep Paul and Floyd, but I knew that this fling with Marvin was temporary. I didn’t need Marvin, but I wanted him. Therefore, I decided to enjoy his goodies while I still could.
I knew I couldn’t spend the entire night with Marvin. For one thing, I had to be back in my condo before Paul came back to life. The other thing was, Marvin lived in a seedy neighborhood, and I didn’t feel safe there at night. His building had an enclosed garage so I was able to hide my car from thieves and whatnot. But before I could get out of the garage, after I’d parked facing a graffiti-filled wall, I noticed a few shady-looking individuals lurking about. What was so odd about that was that it seemed like they had come out of nowhere. Like they either dropped from the garage ceiling or sprung up out of the ground. Anyway, they were in my presence now, and I was uncomfortable and frightened. I ended up barreling back out of the garage and parking on the street after all. At least I could see my car from Marvin’s living room window.
As soon as I took my Windbreaker off, he grabbed me by my arm. Then he snatched me into his arms so fast and hard, the bones in my neck popped. I had the nerve to try to resist—very weakly, though. My protests didn’t do a damn bit of good. He was all over me, covering my face and neck with kisses. But when he tossed me over his well-defined shoulder like a sack of flour and hauled me to a bedroom about the size of a large closet, I didn’t resist any more at all.
“I hope you don’t think I just called you to come over here just for this,” I said, licking up and down his chest as we lay on a twin bed, cluttered with a few of his dirty undershirts. Our legs were twisted around each other like pretzels. With the exception of his soft, luscious lips, everything else on his body was solid muscle. His chest felt like a heated rock. And when I placed my face against it, as I continued to lick on him, I felt so safe. Why? I didn’t know. It just seemed like I had escaped all of my problems. And for the time being, the only care in the world I had was pleasing Marvin, and myself.
I was pleased to see that he had some condoms in the top drawer of a scarred nightstand by the side of the bed. Unfortunately, he broke through the first condom at the worst time. He shot a load of his hot sperm into me like a bullet. As soon as I realized what had happened, I pushed and kicked him until he was on the floor. “Shit!” I hollered, leaping off the bed. I hopped up and down for a few moments like I was stomping out fires, hoping to shake out as much of his juice as I could. With the rest of his thick juice streaming down my thighs, I ran into the bathroom right outside the bedroom door. I was already in the shower trying to wash it away when he appeared in the doorway, puffing on a joint.
“I shouldn’t have called you,” I said.
“But you did, and you can call me again if you want to,” Marvin said, standing there naked and blowing thick smoke in my direction. I shook my head when he offered me a few puffs, even though I could have used it, and something even stronger. Like a shot of tequila.
“What about your lady friend?” I asked. The hot water felt good on my skin. But when I spotted a water bug sliding up the stiff, dingy shower curtain, I gasped. I couldn’t get out of that bathroom fast enough. Marvin was right behind me, squeezing and slapping my ass like he was inspecting melons.
“What about my lady friend?” We were back on the bed, and my head was back on his chest.
“I don’t want to mess up things for you. Just like my husband found out about us, she might find out about us.” I lifted my head so that my face was close to his. He gave me a quick, dry kiss on the tip of my nose.
“Pffft! I wouldn’t worry about her,” he said, waving his hand. “I don’t. She’s one of those slightly older sisters, so desperate she’d marry Shrek. I got her in my hip pocket, see.”
“I see,” I said, glad that I wasn’t the woman that this man seemed to take for granted and was so blasé about. “I’m one of those slightly older sisters,” I reminded. He didn’t respond to my comment. All he did was giggle and play with my titties some more.
As much as I enjoyed making love with Marvin, I was glad when he fell asleep. While he was snoring like a moose, I slid off the bed and took another quick shower. I slipped out of his apartment on my tiptoes because I didn’t want to wake him up. I knew that if I did, he’d be on me again. That would have been fine with me, but under the circumstances, time was not on my side.
Speaking of time, it was a good thing I left Marvin’s place when I did. As soon as I got home and walked into the bedroom, Paul opened his eyes, yawning and growling like a bear. Despite the suspicious look on his face, he motioned with his hand for me to join him in the bed. I was glad to see the suspicious look disappear with the next yawn. That look was replaced with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and a smile that looked so loving and sincere, it overwhelmed me. He was looking at me in a way that made me feel like I was for his eyes only. It was the kind of look that would have made me feel guilty, even if I had nothing to feel guilty about.
CHAPTER 56
“Honey, where have you been?” he asked, yawning some more. I ignored Paul’s request to join him in bed. I was glad to see that it didn’t bother him. That haunting smile was still on his face. Slime had dribbled from his mouth onto his goatee, glazing it.
“I had to run to the store,” I said, picking up clothes off the floor, trying not to let him see my face.
“Oh. What did you buy?” he asked, roughly wiping his chin with a tissue he’d snatched from the box on the nightstand.
“Nothing. I wanted some hog head cheese.” I gave him a big smile.
“LoReese, baby, this is not Compton or South Central. These folks out here wouldn’t know hog head cheese from mincemeat pie.”
“Well, at least one of them does. Last week I found some at that deli on the corner.”
“But not today?” he asked with a nod and a puzzled look.
“But not today,” I answered, clearing my throat.
“Lo, baby, is everything all right now?” He sat up with a wan look on his face. “It seems like something is still bothering you. I know we had a rough night . . .”
“There is nothing wrong,” I told him. I couldn’t lie straight and I couldn’t walk straight. I bumped into the edge of the dresser facing the bed and almost fell. “Everything is going to be just fine between us,” I assured him, sitting down gently at the foot of the bed. I thought I would fall to the floor when he winked, nudged my hip with his bare foot, and patted a spot on the bed next to him. I rose so fast I stumbled. “Listen, you get up and get ready so I can take you to the airport. You’ve got a plane to catch this morning. And you know what a zoo LAX can be this time of day.”
“Huh? I thought we were going to talk things through some more,” he pouted, rubbing the back of his knotty head. His hair looked like a briar bush. His body odor was such an unholy stench it made my eyes water, and I was standing a few feet away from him.