by Nikki Clarke
Kwarq
I’m going to kill this man. I’ve never killed anything in my life. I don’t even eat flesh. Even the small mosquitoes that plague this planet and make me want to scratch my skin off leave my presence filled with my blood and unharmed.
But this man. I felt the anger in him when my lehti fell into him. Something was wrong. She was having some kind of attack. I could see the wild look in her eyes from the connecting train car where I was watching her. It scared me. Our hearts began beating in rhythm again the moment I stepped onto the train, and her’s was beating much too fast.
Despite my agreement to stay away from her, I’d tried to reach her before she hurt herself, but the people were too dense. Had I moved any more forcefully, I would have risked harming someone.
And then this man yelled at her. Amina yelled back, and I felt a moment of relief that she was okay enough to respond. Then she turned, and the man stepped close to her, his head bent over her ear, his posture threatening. After this I don’t know what happened. All I know is the increased presence of the leht that I have been feeling since my heart began to beat surged forth. It’s like the desire to do whatever I must to protect her has taken over, and I’m outside of myself, waiting and watching.
And now I’m going to kill this man. The moment his hands fall away from my arm, I know this is the point when I must stop or he will perish. I consider it. The way some people treat others on Earth is appalling. It’s something that shouldn’t be allowed. It almost feels irresponsible for me to let him go. I imagine I would be doing this world a favor.
“Kwarq, please. You’re going to kill him. We have to go.”
Amina’s urgent voice penetrates my focus. I turn my head and see her wide, nervous eyes shining up at me. I jerk back to the front of my mind and relax my hand, dropping the man to the train car floor. He groans and coughs, dragging in ragged breaths of air. A few people step forward to help him, but many step out of the way when he reaches out for assistance.
I can only stare at him and wonder what would have happened to Amina had I not been here. Would he have hurt her? The urge to leap back on him is fierce, but I feel myself being pulled away until the doors to the train are sliding shut in front of my face, and I can only see his struggling figure through the dirty glass. The train starts to roll away, and he meets my eyes. His are frightened and wide. Mine hold every bit of warning I can muster that he never threaten a woman that way again.
I’m standing outside. I don’t remember taking the stairs, but someone is leading me away. I look at my hand and see a smaller brown one tucked within it. Amina.
Her skin is warm, despite the cool air. She’s moving quickly, weaving in and out of the people on the street until we come to a small shop. She pulls me inside and guides me over to a table in the corner.
“Sit down here.”
I follow her instruction, but when she turns to leave, I rise again.
“I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get us something to drink.” She points at the service counter. I eye her warily. I can almost imagine her dashing out of the shop as soon as I’m in my chair, screaming down the street about aliens. Almost. Deep down, I know my lehti would never do this. If she wanted to be away from me, she would simply tell me go away. Alien or not. Still, the thought brings a fresh wave of panic to my already shifty form.
“You will return? You promise?’
She stares at me for a moment, as if trying to decide whether she will run out screaming after all. Finally, she nods.
“I promise. I’ll be right back. You can see me from here.”
She doesn’t wait for me to accept her promise. She turns and walks away, and I have to force myself to do as she says and stay in my seat. However, it’s only a few moments later that she’s back at the table holding two cups. She sets one down in front of me. The clear surface of the water tremble from her shaking hand. Steam rises from the other cup. This one Amina keeps for herself, holding it between her hands in front of her on the table like a weapon.
“I didn’t know if you wanted coffee, or could have it. I’m not sure if, how your—uh, body—deals with caffeine.” She looks down at my arms. “You seems to be a bit on edge already.”
I follow her eyes down to my arms, and for the first time, I realize my skin is quivering. It’s not subtle. It look likes my skin is trying to decide between being solid and liquid. When I focus, I feel it. Like I could turn into a puddle or burst into pure matter at any moment. When I meet Amina’s eyes again, they’re wide and nervous. Her hands grip the cup so hard, the cardboard begins to collapse.
“My lehti, I won't hurt you.”
I reach out to put my hand over her’s. She flinches, but I persist, covering her wrist. I have again touched her without her permission, but I can’t stop myself. My nature takes over. I need her to feel my intentions. I would only ever keep her safe. I would never hurt her.
The moment my hand touches her’s, my skin settles. The vibrations ease to a pleasant hum in my muscles. We both start at the sudden change. I jerk my hand away, and immediately I begin to shake again. The woman sitting next to us looks up from her book, and Amina slaps her hand over mine, stopping the shake before the woman can notice.
“Why does it stop?” Amina leans forward to whisper, her hand resting lightly over my skin. I’m no longer shaking, but her fingers tremble where she touches me. Still, she doesn’t move her hand, so I cover it with mine again.
“Your calm me. My anger made me unstable. My kind is not used to such emotions. I am sorry if it frightens you. It is just my need to protect you. It is the leht.”
She frowns. “The what?”
I shake my head. I can’t explain it here. There are too many people. There is too much to say.
“I can only tell you in private. I promise I will not hurt you. Can we go somewhere private?”
She shakes her head back and pulls her hand from mine. We both wait for the vibration to return, but it doesn’t. Whatever overcame me seems to have passed.
“No. If you gotta tell me something, you tell me here. I don’t feel comfortable being away from people.”
Her eyes shift away when she says this, and I know she means she doesn’t feel comfortable being away from humans. I don’t like that she automatically assumes that because I am different, I am a threat. It is a very human way to think, but then, I have to remind myself again that she is human, my lehti, and she carries a lifetime of culture from which to draw.
“It is not like the movies, all lasers and abductions. I am not here to hurt you. You have to feel that I would not hurt you.”
She leans forward, her expression suddenly panicked and furious.
“I do feel it!” Her voice is a harsh whisper when she speaks. “You did something to me!”
I frown to match her expression. Her smell has turned acrid again.
“I did nothing to you, my lehti.”
“What is it? Some kind of experiment. Did you,” she swallows, “implant something in me?”
I can’t help the slight chuckle that escapes me. She’s so serious. I may have underestimated how much she likes the movies she goes to see.
“Lehti, your movies are really foolish. I did not come here for some kind of invasion or abduction. I am alone. I was with my brother, but he went back to our home. I promise, I have done nothing to you.”
She eyes me warily but settles back into her chair. I liked it better when she was leaning forward. Her light jacked is unbuttoned. The deep V of her shirt shows just the barest swell of her breasts. Against my better self, my eyes linger there as she speaks.
“Then what’s going on with my body?”
I frown again, my eyes darting to her face. “Your body? Are you sick?” My own sense of panic increases. The vibration starts again. It’s just a tremor, but my skin flinches with little spasms.
“No, my heart has been acting funny. Skipping, even stopping for a second. Or like now, it’s beating like a billion mile
s a minute. It didn’t do that before I met you. And quit it!” she nods down to my trembling arms.
“I cannot stop it.”
I turn my hand palm up on the table. She stares at it for a minute before sighing deeply and slapping her hand down on mine. It stops the tremble immediately.
“There is nothing wrong with your heart, Amina,” I continue. “It is the leht, which I will explain to you later in private, but do not worry that you are ill. You are fine. You are now synchronized to my first heart, so when I am near, our hearts must adjust to keep the same beat.”
I can see she struggles to understand my meaning. Humans deal a lot in metaphor. The heart is often used as a symbol for love and courage. In my species’ case, matters of the heart are quite literal. Our hearts do in fact “skip a beat” when we are in the presence of the one’s we love.
“Is that supposed to be romantic or something?”
She isn’t smiling even though her tone is sarcastic, but she also isn’t afraid anymore. I smile because this is better.
“I am, in fact, a romantic, so if it can be, then yes.”
“I thought you were a linguist.”
“I am a romantic linguist.”
Her mouth twitches up at the edge. Her beautiful lips pout a bit as she resists the desire to laugh. She looks like she’s about to give in, but instead she brings her hands up to cover her face.
“I can’t believe I’m sitting here flirting with an alien.”
This comes out on a groan before her head jerks up to swing quickly from side to side.
“I can’t believe I said that out loud.”
“I am not worried. I would hear if anyone was alarmed.”
She looks at me skeptically again. “What do you mean, you’d hear it? You have like super hearing or something?”
“I do.”
It’s best to answer her plainly. We can discuss details later.
“And you can move really fast?”
“I can.”
“And you’re super tall.”
I smile. Now that we are calm again, I’m reminded of how incredibly adorable my lehti is. So charming and clever.
“I am only tall here because you are all so short.”
She makes that disbelieving sound with her mouth.
“We have Shaq.”
I chuckle. “You do, my lehti. You have Shaq.”
“He’s taller than you.”
I shrug my shoulders. “And better at basketball, but that is only because it is not a sport that is heard of where I come from.”
She frowns again. “If you’ve only been here for two months, how do you know about Shaq and sports?”
I don’t answer. I can see that curious Amina is back, and I want to tell her everything. I will answer all of the questions she has, but even I am not foolish enough to think our conversation will go unnoticed for too long. I stand and open my hand to her. She has her arms crossed over her chest. She stares at my open palm, the indecision clear on her face. Her mouth twists up as she considers it.
“I can answer all of your questions, just not here. If you come back to my apartment, I will tell you everything you want to know.”
She leans forward, still ignoring my hand, and whispers, her voice so low, no one else could possibly hear it. She’s so clever.
“Is apartment code for spaceship. Did you just invite me back to your spaceship?” She lifts her hands next to her head and waves the first two fingers of each up and down every time she says “spaceship.”
I laugh again. This is good. Even her disbelief is better than her fear.
“No, apartment is code for my apartment. I live on 51st and Cornell. Come.”
Another pause. I wait patiently because I can smell the excitement begin to rise on her. She’s interested. Finally, she stands with an exaggerated sigh and flops her hand into mine.
“I swear to god, Kwarq, if you try to abduct me, I will fight you.”
Chapter 8
Amina
Don’t ask me why I’m walking around Hyde Park holding hands with a damn alien. Just don’t. Don’t ask me why this alien lives on 51st and Cornell in a studio apartment. Don’t ask me why I’m about to go this alien’s apartment to talk about him being an alien, and don’t ask me why I’m just the teensy bit turned on by him. I don’t know.
Maybe it’s because the whole time we’ve been walking, he’s been rubbing little circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. Maybe it’s because the moment I slapped my hand into his, this little tingle ran up my arm and has slowly been spreading through my body, so that each step is torture between my legs. I don’t understand it. Maybe it’s this leht thing he keeps bringing up. Even though I don’t know what the hell it is.
The truth is, I’m kind of curious. Out of all the people who could have come across a tall, fine, yellow-eyed alien, I did. The blerd in me is silently going crazy. I’m walking around Hyde Park holding hands with a friggin alien. And he’s fine and sexy as hell. I may be in shock, but I’m not oblivious. There’s something going on between us. It’s kind of weird if I think about it, but he hasn’t been shy about his interest in me. The dude almost choked a man to death for yelling at me. That part was kind of scary, but really, train guy was an asshole, and it felt nice to be defended for a change.
The little bit of excitement cuts the lingering fear my rational mind is holding on to. What if he can do really cool shit like teleport or has one of those food rehydrators like in Back to the Future. I just want to rehydrate a pizza. That’s all I want. And obviously the cure for cancer, obviously. Altruism and all that. But first, I want to rehydrate a pizza. I feel a little squeeze against my hand, and I look up to see Kwarq smirking down at me.
“Be patient, my lehti, I will tell you everything you want to know.”
I realize I’m wearing a stupid grin on my face as I think of all the cool stuff he can probably do.
“I can’t believe you’re a fucking alien.”
He snorts. “I am only an alien here because humans don’t know any other words for those who are different than them.”
“Yeah that’s kind of true,” I agree. We definitely aren’t the most welcoming bunch. “So are you going to tell me all kinds of cool, alien shit?”
He chuckles and gives my hand another squeeze.”
“I will tell you whatever you want to know, my lehti.”
“Do you have a spaceship?”
“Of sorts.”
“Can you teleport?”
“Of sorts.”
“Can you rehydrate a pizza?”
Kwarq laughs and releases my hand to pull me against his side. He leans down and nuzzles his face into my hair. It’s a unusually familiar gesture, maybe too familiar, but it’s nice, so I don’t remind him of the whole personal space thing.
“Oh, my lehti, you will be so disappointed. It is nothing like the movies.”
It really isn’t. I’m a little surprised when we enter his apartment complex through the front door like the rest of humanity. When we stand awkwardly in the elevator to get to his floor, I could almost laugh at the unimpressiveness of it. His apartment is the last at the end of the hallway, and while he fishes around in his snug, slightly too short jeans looking for his key, I shuffle from foot to foot. The awe is starting to wear off. What the hell am I doing here?
Kwarq finally pulls out his key and fits it into the lock like he’s done it a million times before.
The inside of his apartment is sparse. And by sparse, I mean empty. The space is small, just a single room big enough to fit a bed and a few pieces of furniture, but none of those things are here. There’s a cheap sheet spread on the floor near the only window. Next to it is a small pile of clothes. Beside that is a neatly folded towel.
Kwarq steps into the room, and I follow, a little less enthusiastically. I’m looking for the pizza rehydrator or a telecommunicator or damn space suit. A little laugh erupts from me as I realize how silly I am. This man isn’t an alien. H
e’s just some dude. With my luck, he’s probably a hotep or some shit.
“I, uh, I’m going to go home now.”
I move to leave but Kwarq turns back and there is such genuine confusion on his face at my sudden change of heart that I pause. I really don’t know what’s going on here, but this does not look like the home of a visiting alien. Honestly, it looks like the home of a recently released serial killer, if I’m to believe the movies. Kwarq’s expression falls as he follows my eyes around his apartment. He smiles and walks over to take my hands. This simple contact reignites my excitement.
“You are disappointed by my home?”
“Uh, no. No.” I stumble. “I just, uh, realized that I have something to do…” my lie trails off, and I don’t meet his eyes.
Kwarq laughs. It’s an amused sound. Almost like he’s laughing at me. I pull my hands back as he kind of doubles over, holding his stomach. I’m more than skeptical now, but that skepticism quickly turns to embarrassment. He played me. I can’t believe I thought he was an alien. I’m too old for this shit. I feel so stupid. I turn to leave, but before I can even move, Kwarq shifts, and becomes a golden blur in front of my eyes.
“I would not lie to you my lehti. I am what you think I am.”
A little scream erupts from me as I spin around to face the door. Kwarq is there when he was just standing in front of me a moment ago. He’s still smiling. I take step back.
“Oh my god. I can’t believe it.”
“Why, because I do not have a laser gun or a floating bed?”
“Dude, you don’t have a bed at all.”
He laughs again. “I do not have a bed because I do not need one. I am not going to be here long.”
For some reason, this brings me down. I still don’t really know what’s going on, but the idea that Kwarq is going to one day just disappear and go back to wherever he came from bothers me.
“Why are you here? I mean, this is so crazy. How did you even get here?” I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. I don’t know whether to run out of the door or stand here and listen to him.