“Yeah, sorry… I guess you were talking with Ace.” Her eyebrows rose. “He ran into me on the way out.”
She waved me off. “Just talking about this interview I’m going to do.”
“Y-You’re sure that’s the right thing to do?” I blurted out. “For you, I mean. Not for them.”
Her smile was steady but her gaze became heavy. “They’re one and the same,” she replied calmly and evasively. “So, what’s going on? Did you find a place? Mick said they could start in two weeks. Summer is their busiest time so it was really the only time he could squeeze me in. I can have them start downstairs if you want… if you need more time.”
I held up my hands and shook my head. “No. That’s fine. I’m looking at a few places next week,” I assured her. “That’s not why I wanted to talk to you…”
I pulled out the small chair in front of her desk and dropped into it, pulling my braid over my shoulder and running my fingers over the ridges absentmindedly.
I’d thought a lot about Miles… about myself… over the last week, and realizing that my insistence on forever had come from my sister, I finally decided that maybe she had an answer for me.
“Is everything okay?” she immediately went into mom-mode.
Even though our grandparents had raised us, my grandmother and Addison seemed to have shared the role of mom in my life except for that brief period when she was in school and then lived in San Francisco with her ex.
“Addy, can you tell me what happened to you?” I whispered softly.
My sister’s eyes widened as she recoiled, firmly shaking her head. “It was a long time ago, Eve, and not something that you need to know—not something that you need to be burdened with.”
I wanted to argue with her, but my sister was as stubborn as they came—stubborn to a fault—especially when she felt like it was in order to protect someone she loved.
“Why are you asking? What’s going on?” She squinted at me even though she’d lucked out with perfect vision. “Has anyone said something to you? Have you been approached by anyone asking about me?”
I shook my head frantically, afraid she was about to call Ace back in here and demand a Covington Security detail on me.
“No. No nothing like that.” There was relief but also a new kind of concern etched on her expression.
She crossed her arms, her jacket slipping off her shoulder to reveal a small sliver of the tattoo that covered her back. She’d never shown me that either, but I’d caught a glimpse in the mirror once or twice. It looked like some sort of flower mural but it was hard to say.
My heavy sigh ended with a cough, and I made a mental note to take another antibiotic before I left for class.
Shifting in my seat, my confession spilled out, “When you came back from Frisco, I remember I asked you what happened. You were so sad and you just looked at me and said, ‘Eve, don’t give anyone any piece of you before you truly know them. Before you know that they are your prince and are going to treat you like a princess and nothing less. Promise you won’t give anyone the keys to your heart unless you’re sure they won’t come inside it and lock you out.’”
A strange look of horror crept on her face, like she didn’t even remember our conversation.
“And that was good. It was good advice,” I assured her. “It was easy advice to follow…”
“Oh, Evie.” Her shoulders sunk. “I never should’ve told you that—good or not—at that point in time. I wasn’t… okay… then. I was still recovering from my breakup.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I said that to you, and that it’s stayed with you all this time. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” That was the last thing I wanted. “It was good! I didn’t waste my time with boys who weren’t serious. I stayed focused on me, on school, on my dreams. I don’t regret any of my past choices for a second.”
“But you’re afraid of regretting a future one?”
I swallowed over the lump in my throat.
“I feel like I’ve met the person that my soul wants. And I’ve kept it to myself for a while because I thought it was a crush and that he wasn’t interested. And then when he was, but he said it would only be for one night…” Instantly, I saw Addy tense, her body going on the defensive. “But it’s not like all the other boys who wanted only a fling, whether they said it so bluntly or not,” I pressed on. “He’s not keeping me at a distance because he wants to hurt me; he’s keeping me there because he’s afraid I might hurt him if he lets me in.”
Miles’ decision about his love life was like a white lie—the kind that you tell someone to spare them from a truth that might hurt them. Wrong, but valiant.
“I guess what I’m here to ask is, do I stick to what I always thought I wanted, or do I compromise to show someone I would never hurt them like they’ve been hurt before? To show him what we have is worth the risk?” I paused for a breath and realized, as my last question escaped my lips, that I’d had my sister’s answer long before I’d entered the room tonight. “Do you risk yourself when becoming vulnerable is the only way to help someone heal?”
There was a slight pause, but Addy was a smart woman. She’d realized what I had, too.
“I think that if you overheard my conversation with Ace like I think you did, then you know what my answer to that already is,” she replied, tugging her jacket back over her shoulder. “And if you didn’t, then I’d tell you that there is no time frame on truly knowing someone. I was with someone for years and never quite felt like I really knew him—and I didn’t. But, then take Ace, for example; I wasn’t sitting in his office at Covington Security for five minutes when I knew the kind of man—good man—he was.”
I was surprised to see the faint tint of pink in her cheeks as she quickly moved on from the subject of Ace. “I can’t tell you what you should do, Evie, but you’re a smart girl and a great judge of character. And if your heart tells you, like mine does, that what you’ll gain from the risk is worth far more than what you could lose, then I’d say to listen to it.”
She stood and rounded the desk, pulling me in for a tight hug. “It’s your life. You’re allowed to change your mind about what you want from it. You’re allowed to let your experiences change your plans.”
“Thank you,” I murmured into her thick blue hair. I knew that was the truth, but, for some reason, I’d needed to hear it from her.
I’d been fighting with myself over this whole one-night thing like it was some sort of commandment I’d written in stone, when in reality, it was just another goal. One that had suited a younger me but now, how I felt about it didn’t begin to compare to how I felt about Miles.
“But please don’t tell our brother even though he’d, in theory, agree with me. The thought of you having sex before marriage or before you’re thirty isn’t something that he’s ready for.” We both broke into laughter.
Zeke was protective and by-the-books kind of guy. Love life decisions, especially considering that neither of us had made much of any for him to deal with, were the thing of thing he felt, as the oldest and head of the Williams family, he needed to watch out for us on. Especially after what happened to Addy. Whatever it was had changed something in him, too.
“Love you,” I murmured. “And you could tell me you know. I can handle it.”
I was both grateful and angry at the two of them for keeping me in the dark about my sister’s past relationship.
“I know, Evie, and I love you, too. And that’s why you shouldn’t have to.”
I left Blooms with my yoga group, more worried about my sister, but less burdened by how I felt about Miles.
I’d been clinging onto this idea of a prince and a fairy tale for so long, but the truth was that even Cinderella had risked it all for only one night—one night to show the man she was besotted with that their forever was worth any obstacle.
Miles
That damn mouth.
Growling, I tore my eyes away from Eve as she took the order of som
e guy who was wall-papered with a fancy suit and purple fucking shirt. He looked slick. Like oil. Too thick and too toxic for someone so pure as Eve to even be close to him. He’d been flirting with her for the past twenty minutes, and I was seconds away from my clenched fist ending up in his face.
I stood at the end of the bar with Dex and Ace who were chatting with some postgrad students up from Pepperdine University, researching human trafficking along the coast. They were pretty. Smart. Transient. They were everything I’d normally hope to find here on a Saturday night, except nothing was fucking normal anymore.
I was afraid this would happen. I should’ve known this would happen.
One kiss at the wedding had put me off my game for weeks, but now that I’d tasted her, now that I’d felt her come all over my tongue and heard the way that damn mouth cried out my name when she came… I was afraid it had ruined me for good.
I looked back to the studious blonde, Natalie, who’d been eyeing me since they’d taken seats next to us and felt nothing. Not a single. Fucking. Thing.
I was afraid it had ruined me.
I used to think the problem was that Eve was only interested in forever. Now, I knew the problem was me—that one night wouldn’t put her out of my system, that I was the one who’d want more. And that was the first step on a path that would end with me back right here.
Right back to bitter and broken.
I tossed back the rest of my drink, catching Benny’s eye and raising my glass to request another.
“So, you’re a carpenter?” Natalie asked, sliding up to me and studiously examining my face like she was going to write a paper on it.
I wanted to tell her that there wasn’t much to see. In fact, I could be summed up in three words: Never. Forever. Eve.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “My brother and I own our own construction company, so we do a lot of work, mostly residential, in the area.”
“That’s awesome.” She had a nice smile. Her lips weren’t as full as Eve’s though and I wondered if she had Botox or some shit like that done because her eyes didn’t budge no matter her expression.
Eve’s smile lifted her whole face. Just like it did now, as she bestowed it on the purple Easter egg who was still sitting at the bar. Her eyes met mine for a brief second, noticed the woman next to me, and that smile, along with her eyes, fell.
Fuck.
“I’d love to chat with you privately… maybe somewhere a little quieter… later about it,” she said casually, stirring her straw in her cocktail. “For my research, of course. Traffickers in this area seem to be using the ocean-front mansions to easily transport the girls, since they’re so spread apart and no one seems to question the comings and goings of private yachts. Maybe you could give me a lay of the land.”
Christ. I was being seduced by Nancy-fucking-Drew.
“We could even go back to my hotel room if you wanted…”
I almost groaned out loud, but the vibration of my phone in my pocket saved me. A Texas number showed up, catching my attention, but since I didn’t recognize it, I clicked and sent it to voicemail.
“Spam call,” I apologized gruffly, hoping we could change the topic now.
Un-fucking-fortunately for me, this should’ve-been-tempting Nancy Drew could’ve stripped bare and held a magnifying glass over her pussy, and I still wouldn’t have been interested in any clues she was trying to leave for me that she was attracted and willing.
Anger surged through me. Looked like the Pub was going to be off-limits for a few weeks until I could get this shit under control.
I thought it was.
I really fucking did.
All week, it had been like nothing between us had happened, like we hadn’t seen each other naked, and like I hadn’t gorged myself on her while the ocean spurred me on.
Natalie drained her drink and gave me a coy smile. “So, about that quiet place…”
My phone buzzed again. Same number. Maybe an old contact? An old friend? Or maybe something bad had happened in general… Spam callers didn’t usually try twice in a row.
Regardless, dealing with the caller was sadly preferable to trying to let Nancy Drew down gently.
“Sorry, I have to answer this, I think it’s for work,” I excused myself, taking my drink and weaving through the crowd outside.
“Hello?” I answered the call as soon as I stepped outside, taking the last swig of my straight shot of vodka.
“Oh my, Miles. How I’ve missed your voice.” I stopped on the sidewalk, the glass slipping from my fingers and shattering on the ground.
The jarring sound quickly garnered my attention, but the shattering glass was as soft as rain compared to the familiar and sultry Texan twang that slithered through the line.
Like one more bomb exploding into my life.
Two years wasn’t enough time to erase the voice that accompanied the previous twenty-four. Nothing would ever be enough for that.
“Amanda.” I hated how my voice broke over her name, like I was still pining for her. Like I still cared about her. “What the hell do you want?”
And she didn’t even deserve that. I should’ve just hung up. I wanted to. But Amanda always got what she wanted. Whether that was me. Or me and some guys in her class. Or me and her professor. Or me and her fancy politician boss. So, rather than deal with whatever her plan B was, I stayed on the line, even as her voice scratched at my heart like nails on a chalkboard.
“Miles, I miss you.” She sighed, and I knew she was drunk and pouting.
She’d probably had at least one bottle of white wine, her favorite to drink on Saturdays, and had the TV on silent in the background. I knew because I knew her. I knew all the little fucking things—the things that convinced me we were meant to be together. And in all the little things, I’d missed the big thing; I’d missed how she was a fucking narcissistic cheater and egotistical liar.
“What do you want, Amanda?” I repeated, tightly.
I knew what she wanted. She’d tried this act several times before we’d left Texas and a few times since. Different numbers, calling me and begging my forgiveness, begging me to come back.
“I’ve made a huge mistake,” she answered with a throaty voice. “I made a huge mistake. Several of them. And I can’t—” Her words cut off, and I heard her stifle a sob.
The truth was, she was a good liar, but she was even better at making herself appear the damsel in need of saving.
“I-I’m so sorry, Miles. I just missed you so much, and I just had to tell you that and and that I will always lov—”
“Stop!” I roared, slamming my fist on the side of the building.
These were words I’d heard a thousand times. And each time, she got better at saying them, better at making them sound so perfectly believable.
My breath locked in my lungs, prisoner to the emotions that I knew came next—the romanticized ones that wanted to believe the girl I’d smiled at in first grade was my soul mate.
A second went by. And then another.
“Miles?”
My eyes flicked open and the air rushed from my lungs like a revolution inside me had set it free. She was a fucking liar.
“We’re done.”
“Oh, honey, you know you’ll never be done with me,” she cooed, lacking any trace of the sadness that infected her tone a moment ago.
“Call me again, Amanda, and I’ll press charges. Goodbye.” I hung up the phone and blocked the number.
For too many years, she’d woven a web of lies around me with her silken words. And I’d been the foolish fly, secure in her trap—the trap I’d given her the blueprints to lay. Yeah, it was good to tell her to stay the hell away. It was good to block her new number. After what she did, I had no desire—no love left for her.
It should’ve felt fucking good but it didn’t.
It didn’t because it reminded me perfectly of the self-loathing that followed her betrayal. It reminded me that I hadn’t been good enough. It reminded me that I’d
been so besotted with the idea of forever that I’d been blinded to the truth. And it reminded me why I was a danger to myself, and why it was a danger to get too close to Eve.
A long groan ripped from the shredded remains of my soul.
I yanked open the door to the bar. I needed to go home, but I also needed to tell Benny about the broken glass and make my excuses to Ace and Dex.
I made it three steps inside before I caught the youngest Covington’s stare and realized he must already know about the glass.
“Miles, what the hell is going—” If he even spoke the last of those words, I didn’t hear them. My reality was obliterated into a single focus—Eve reaching over the bar to hand the purple peacock another fucking drink—the last three making him brave enough to think it was okay to touch her—to grab around her fingers and not let go when it was clear she was trying to pull away.
A second later, the asshat’s face was flat against the bar and my hand was around the back of his neck. Fuck him. Fuck him for touching her.
My woman.
“Guess that fancy suit can’t hide shit manners,” I growled into his ear, ignoring the commotion I knew was headed my way.
“Take your hands—” I pushed harder to end his statement in a strained grunt.
“You don’t grab a woman’s hand when she doesn’t want you to. And you sure as fuck don’t grab it and not let it go when she tries to take it back,” I said calmly and then, with a pleasing thud of his cheek hitting the wood, added, “Don’t touch her again.”
“Miles!” I looked up from the disgusting piece of shit on the bar just in time to catch Eve’s shocked stare before Dex and Ace pulled me off the man and Benny stepped in my face.
“Are you kidding me right now? I thought… I thought this was done. Just because you’re my friend doesn’t mean you can disrespect me and my business like this. Get him out of here.”
I breathed heavy, strands of hair falling from where it was tied into my face like jail bars in my vision as Ace yanked me roughly toward the door.
Shit.
I knew I’d fucked up before we made it past the bar. Don’t get me wrong, that sleazy fucker hitting on Eve deserved every ounce of pain and more than the warning I’d given him, but my friend hadn’t.
Besotted: An Enemies-to-Lovers Small-town Romance (Carmel Cove Book 3) Page 12